22 | JULY 31, 2006

Today I turn 22. Thanks to everyone who sent me a card (Mom&Dad, Christina, the cats from home, Sue, Grandpa and Grandma Pete, Grandpa and Grandma Tiger and Steven). It made me feel very loved (and remembered!) to receive so many cards.

Steven's card was a bit of a tease though, because he put in photos of Data with my birthday present - which is from Rogers and Hollands - where Steven buys all my jewelry. What a tease!

         

Truthfully, my birthday stresses me out a bit, and it is a little nice to not have to plan anything this year. It is strange - we are raised as children (in America) to think our birthday is a big deal - A BIG CELEBRATION!!! But as you get older, it really isn't. It is just another day in the week.

I think that one of the most basic human needs is the need to feel special. And your birthday provides that opportunity for you. Look - one day that celebrates your birth (and the other 20 million people born that day)! And it is all fine and dandy to look forward to your birthday and talk about it all year long - when you are a child. But I think that by the time you exit high school, you should not be obsessing over your birthday anymore. Just use it as an opportunity to meet with family and friends and have a good time. If you have some good relationships in your life, you should feel special on more than one day of the year anyway.

I will be honest - when I was a child, I only thought about presents when I dreamed about Christmas and my birthday. That was the best part for me. But now that I am older, it is more about the company. Of course, I like to receive gifts (who doesn't?) but that is not as important anymore. What is more important is having good relationships and spending time with people I love.

And today, even though I have to be at work - I get to work with people whose company I enjoy, and that is fine with me. I will see my family soon enough, and even if I do not get to see them this day, I am just happy to know that they are looking forward to seeing me, because I feel the same way!

SAN PAOLO | JULY 30, 2006

I am lucky that I have Rixa to tell me about all the neat places in Rome to visit before I leave in a week. Today she took me to San Paolo, a large church outside of the center of Rome. It was amazing, and I had no idea it was there!

                  

Unfortunately, Rixa is telling me about a lot more places than I have time to visit in a week! I guess I will have to come back to Rome someday.

MY GROSS LITTLE SECRET | JULY 29, 2006

Do you want to hear my gross little secret? I have told it before. Well, here it is - I have been washing all my clothes by hand since May.

This is gross, gross, gross. I fill the sink with water and laundry soap and try my hardest to wash my clothes with my hands - there is no possibly way they could be effectively clean! I don't have a wash board or anything! So I let my clothes soak for awhile, then I can't even rinse them that well, so they feel all clammy when I wear them.

Too much information, I know. I can not even explain how excited I am to use Steven's washer and dryer!

The only good thing about this is that it means I am leaving a lot of clothes behind (more room in luggage to bring home gifts!). They are too stinky and ruined to bring home! How strange is that?! I do not remember what clothes I left in Chicago, but I hope I have enough to wear when I get back - it is not worth bringing all these stinky clothes back home!

When I was home for a week in May, washing my clothes that I had in Italy with me, they had a distinct smell to them. I did not notice the smell until I brought them out of the country. And those clothes had been washed by a washer during a season when I was not sweating a lot! I cannot even imagine the smell that would develop on these when I brought them into the States. The FBI would probably confiscate them or something.

WHY IDP IS CONFUSING... TO EVERYONE | JULY 28, 2006

Today I had my supervisor at work fill out and sign my IDP (Internship Development Program) papers - to prove that I worked in an architecture office this summer, and to get "credit" for doing it.

It is difficult to explain the IDP program to anyone, but especially to the other non-american interns that I work with.

It is confusing. To become a licensed architect in the United States, you have to complete the proper schooling, and take the ARE (Architecture Registration Exam, I think...) - a series of 10 tests (again, I think...). But in order to take the ARE, you have to complete 700 "hours" of work, each in a specific area (Site Development, Project Management, etc.). There are sixteen different categories you have to complete.

Eight hours of real work equals one hour for IDP - so it actually takes 5600 hours of work to complete the IDP! If you are lucky, you are able to complete it in three years. It is difficult though, because you have to fulfill a certain amount of hours in the sixteen categories. So if you did the same thing at work for three years, you would probably only have one category fulfilled. And you would be screwing yourself over and wasting your time.

This is difficult to explain to my coworkers because it is intrinsically complex, but also, because the European system for architects is so different.

In Europe, you have architectural schooling (in most countries - my coworkers from Italy, France, Switzerland, Germany, Poland, Spain, Greece, Croatia have told me) that requires work experience during the school years. It does not require it at the same time you are in class, but requires that you have experience during the summer, or they give you time off, sometimes a whole year, to complete an internship. Then, when you finish your schooling, you take exams and do final projects to become an architect.

My school does not require that I take an internship. I think that is the part that confuses my coworkers the most. They are always asking "What forms do you have to fill out for your school?" "Do you have to present your experience to your school when you go back?" "Do you have to keep a journal for the school?" "Did you sign a contract for the school?"

My school does not know I am working in Italy for an architect! There are advertisements for intern work at my school, but otherwise, not a lot of encouragement. Like the Americans we are, we have to do it independently. Some of my classmates are having their first architectural experiences this summer, after four years of school! But many of the interns at my work are going into their third year of school - they are required to have an internship between their second and third year.

It is strange that ISU does not encourage us more to have internships, especially foreign ones. There is one lady, who always sends out massive emails about internship opportunities across the US, but that is all we have. And I doubt many people really read them - it is frustrating to always be getting emails from the same person over and over and over and over again.

Basically, it is up to you and your own motivation to do it all - go to school, get the internship, do the IDP crap, take the ARE. I think that having someone tell you what to do would not be the proper motivation, but I think we need more encouragement and guidance at school. Even in Canada, they do it more similar to Europe. One guy I work with from Canada has classmates all over the world fulfilling their internship requirements. I only know of myself and one other person (from my year in school) who are working in Europe.

You do not have to go far away to get an architectural experience, but wouldn't you want to have some early in your schooling so you knew you were at least liked the real work experience? Because if there is one thing we all learn, it is that school is nothing like the real world!

WILL YOU MISS ROME? | JULY 27, 2006

Last weekend, my mother asked me if I would miss Rome when I returned home.

I really had to think about how to explain my feelings and response. I have lived here for the past seven months. I have had many good experiences here, but some bad ones too. I grew accustomed to going to school and working in Rome, and developed a routine that worked for me. I found ways to enjoy my own company and learned a lot about myself.

I do not think that I will have an overarching ache in my heart to be back in Rome when I return, but there are places and people I will miss. The time I have spent here has allowed me to make wonderful relationships and discover amazing places and rituals. I am sure that certain incidents in the States will make me think of Rome and miss being here, just as certain incidences now make me think of the States and miss being there.

There will be a little piece of me that will continue to desire traveling and new experiences, but hopefully that desire is something I can share with Steven. This part of my European adventure is almost over, and it is time for me to get back to my studies and the real world.

So I will not be crying in my sleep about missing Rome, but I will be cherishing the good times I had!

I AM TIRED AND I HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO | JULY 26, 2006

I do not understand why I am so tired this week. Since Monday, I have been yawning constantly, and falling asleep every time I get on the tram. Today, I was so tired at work, that I could not stop laughing at everything! I need a nap!

Unfortunately, I have a lot to do before I leave Rome in two weeks... find something to present for the Rome exhibition at ISU (I already told my teacher that I WOULD NOT present my studio project from Rome - it was crap), fill out and have my boss sign my IDP papers (Internship Development Program), write and send my diploma project proposal to my advisor (happily I finished version 1 of that tonight), finish reformatting this site, buy gifts for people, pack, clean, hang out with coworkers, work, volunteer, blah blah blah...

I have a feeling I will be tired until I get home!

YOU HAD IT COMING | JULY 25, 2006

An evil moment from my day...

The power adapter for my computer is extremely messed up. The connection between it and the cord for the wall is broken. I can only get it to charge my computer if I mess around with the plug in the wall until I hear a crackling noise. It smells like burnt rubber. This is not good.

Steven was nice enough to order me a new one from Dell - have it delivered overnight to his house, then pay extra to get it to Rome in 4-5 days.

Of course, it did not come in 4-5 days. I became worried about it after two weeks and told the secretary at my school (where I have to deliver my mail) to keep an eye out for it.

It came the Friday morning while I was in London. Unfortunately, the idiot who answered the door would not accept it, even though it said "ISU Rome Program" on it.

You cannot imagine how pissed I was when I found out - I think I cursed that person for at least an hour. Now it is being sent back to the US... if I ever get it.

The part that makes me feel a little better is what happened this morning. The program director of my school here called me because she just got back from the States, and oh no, left her power adapter there. Could she possibly use mine?

Sure, you could use it, if the idiots at your school didn't deny it! Now you are screwed too!

I am bad for thinking that, but at least now I finally feel a little better about it!

A GOOD TYPE OF PERSON | JULY 24, 2006

One of the things I liked the most about my uncle Tom is that being around him made me want to achieve my best. I wanted to be the best version of myself when I was around him.

I wanted to share my good news and school year highlights with him when I saw him, because when he was proud of me, I felt proud of myself as well.

Of course, sometimes I was goofy and told goofy stories to him too (I just can't help being a goofball).

Now that I think about it, I think I could say that the people in my life fall into one of three categories -
1. People that bring out the best in me
2. People that bring out the worst in me
3. People that have a neutral effect on me

Category 1 - These are the people, like Tom, that make me feel like I can achieve anything if I put the effort and determination into it. They don't have to come out and say, "I think you can do better." It is through their encouragement, helpful criticism and guidance that I feel this way. These are the people I want to impress, and am most likely to share my work and accomplishments with, because I know they give me the type of positive reinforcement that I need. Sometimes I am cautious about how I present myself around these people, because I consider their opinion of me to be very important. However, that does not mean we cannot have fun together too!

People like this - Tom, my father, Steven, Rixa, my supervisor at work. (Interesting - 3 men and two German women...)

Category 2 - These are the people in my life whose presence brings out my bad behaviors - swearing, frustration/impatience/anxiety, gossiping, etc. Usually, this is a person whose moral/ethical views are at conflict with mine - which is generally not a problem, unless they want to argue (unreasonably) with me about something, or try to convince me to engage in bad behaviors.

If it is a single occasion, it is ok. Everyone is bad from time to time - lying, swearing, thinking bad things... but if it is someone that makes me act my worst every time I am with them - then I need to get away.

Unfortunately there are a few people like this in my life. It would be hard to break off a friendship because of this; it is difficult to explain to someone that you don't want to be their friend because they make you feel like a bad person!

Category 3 - These are people who affect me in a more neutral way - they do not easily fit into either of the two previous categories. But they are more likely to lean towards the first category.

Now, this idea is not very well developed yet (it is 3:26 am) so I will have to think about it some more. But I do think that I can clearly tell, of the people in my life, how they directly affect me.

Now the question is, how do I affect others? Does anyone see these patterns in their life?

GALLERIA BORGHESE | JULY 23, 2006

Today I visited the Galleria Borghese with Rixa, my friend from the shelter. The building is actually a villa that was turned into a museum - with sculpture on the ground floor and paintings on the second floor.

It was nice to visit the museum with Rixa, because she is very interested in art and history, so she already knew a lot about everything we were seeing, and she shared that information with me.

The most amazing art there is the sculptures done by Bernini. The Galleria holds Bernini's David, Pluto e Proserpina, and probably his most famous - Apollo e Dafne. The carving work on these sculptures is so delicate and precise that the figures look like they are alive.

                  

MY NEW ENGLISH "SKILLS" | JULY 22, 2006

Yesterday at work, two of my Italian colleagues told me that my english is hard to understand. One said that I "eat my words."

I actually don't know what that means, but I think it is funny that they cannot understand me. The truth is, I feel like my english speaking skills have deteriorated a bit in the last two and a half months. I talk slower, and use broken english - like I am talking to a young child. I thought all that would make me easier to understand, but apparently, I am only making myself stupider!

It is common for Italians (and other Europeans, I suppose) to learn english from someone from England. So that is probably why they have a harder time understanding me, because I talk with a different kind of accent.

It is amazing that so many people can speak english, but we still can't understand each other.

CELEBRATING ONE YEAR OF MADNESS | JULY 21, 2006

It is hard to believe, but today is the one-year anniversary of the date I started this website.

I was bored last summer, surfed the net a lot ( looking for photoshop tutorials) and found a lot of websites with blogs and artwork. I thought, "I can do that! And I can use it to keep in touch with people!" So I bought the Websites for Dummies book and the Macromedia Dreamweaver Bible book, and now... I have this!

It is all self-taught, but I have had inspiration from many other sites and people (especially Kevin, SJ, Manny and Trisa). Here are some truths - Kevin is the one who first encouraged me to post each day, and I think about that every time I do; SJ's and Manny's comments and support make me feel welcome and appreciated - sometimes more than I do in real life; and here is the big truth - Trisa is the only reason I have an internship in Rome! She got me thinking about staying in Europe for the summer, and with her encouragement and help, I began to realize it was something I had to do.

Right now I am working on another re-design - something more professional for my final year of school. So expect to see that (if there are no problems with my host of course) after I return home to the States.

And of course - thanks for reading all this BS! You can always go back to the archives if you want to see the madness from the beginning.

ME SO STANCA | JULY 20, 2006

No matter how hard I try - I always look tired!

Luckily, I have been sleeping better for about a week now (hope I do not jinx myself). But I still look tired and restless each day - dark circles under my eyes, eyes feel heavy and closed all day, face looks pale all day... basically, I look like I am dead.

I even consciously made an effort to do my hair and makeup and not look half-dead this week. I still do though. Maybe it has to do with the stink?

I feel okay. I am mostly awake at work, but I do feel exhausted by night. I just need a BIG vacation! Last weekend was not enough, muah ha ha!

WHY DO MOSQUITOES EXSIST? | JULY 19, 2006

I woke up this morning with my legs covered in mosquito bites. And I really mean covered - there are so many bites that they are forming large red areas over my legs.

I had somewhat successfully avoided the mosquitoes until now. I only had a few bites, and I managed to let them go away without too much torment. But now... this is really too many; my leg feels like it is burning!

Of course, when I tried to go to the pharmacy today, they were having a strike, so I could not get any ointment, or even any Band-Aids.

Why do the mosquitoes like me so much? Does this happen to anyone else? Every summer I am covered in bites, and in (mild) agony.

I STINK | JULY 18, 2006

It stinks in Rome. It smells like human sweat. It is everywhere. At work. In the pizzeria. At the bakery. In the market. In the street. The tram and bus are the worst because people lift up their arms to hold onto the bars.

At first I thought I was immune to this sweat. It is a distinct smell, and I thought that by showering and washing my clothes often, I could avoid it.

But I don't think I can. I am worried that I, sometimes, smell. To anyone that this has offended, I am sorry.

I am not even bringing some of my clothes back - they smell too bad. I have no washer; I have been hand-washing all summer! It is so warm here, you cannot avoid the sweat. Yuck. No matter how hard you try...

LONDON DAY 3 | JULY 17, 2006

My last day in London was nice - Mike took me around to show me some of the things that Foster and Partners have done in London. I really like their architecture - it is modern, and (some) sustainable. He also showed me the Richard Roger's Lloyd's building. It is interesting - done by the same architect as the Pompidou in Paris - it is basically a building pulled inside out. All the mechanical parts are on the exterior.

                  

We also visited the Design Museum, which was another place I missed before. I am actually happy I missed it before though - they had a neat Formula 1 exhibit there that I would not have seen had I gone in February! The exhibit was all about the design and history of the Formula 1 cars. There were also neat permanent exhibits there on furniture design, and modern design in Great Britain.

                  

It was another great day with perfect weather (I even got to wear my jacket while in London - it was great!). We went to see "Pirates of the Caribbean 2" with Andy at night. Not too good of a movie - but still got a few laughs out of it!

I had a great time in London. It is funny, because before I left, I was a bit worried about imposing on Mike's weekend, and I wondered if we would find anything to talk about. But it actually turned out to be very nice to be able to talk to a friend - to someone that I know from home. And now that I am back in Rome, I feel a bit lonely again. I am getting excited to see Steven and my family in three weeks!

LONDON DAY 2 | JULY 16, 2006

I spent my second day in London (yesterday) seeing some of the things I missed the first time I came - Westminster Abbey and Sir John Soane's Museum. The Abbey is massive on the inside - and filled to the brim with tombs. I kind of felt like I was cattle being herded through there though - much too crowded.

         

Sir John Soane's museum was extremely interesting though. He took a row house, and bought the backs of the houses on either side to create his museum/home. Every nook and cranny in the house has interesting artifacts in it - mostly pieces of classical architecture or art. He used many mirrors in the house, mostly convex, to make the whole place appear bigger. It is actually quite large, but all of the things he collected makes the space seem a bit dwarfed. I think it is something that every architect should see.

We all visited Hyde Park to see a pavilion done by Rem Koolhaas. It was a perfect day to be in the park - clear blue skies and wonderful weather again. Mike's friend from his apartment, Andy, joined us, and we just spent the rest of the day in the park and hanging out. It was nice break to do nothing for awhile and chat with good company!

LONDON DAY 1 | JULY 15, 2006

London is wonderful. The weather is absolutely perfect - high 70s with a nice breeze, and clear blue skies. It feels crisp and refreshing to be outside, not mind-boggingly hot, like in Rome!

I arrived midday yesterday, and spent the afternoon by myself. I immediately noticed, and appreciated, the diversity in the types of people in London - on the tube, in the street, in the park, working... In Rome is it mostly tan, dark-haired, thin Italians (and all the scary homeless people). In London, you see people of every ethnicity, size and height. It makes me feel like I fit in more, especially since it is not as common to blatantly stare at people, like in Italy.

I went to the British Museum to pass the time in the afternoon. It took me awhile to figure out how to get there, since my map is not so detailed, but since I was alone, I just enjoyed the time walking and figuring out where to go. The museum is amazing, along with the actual architecture of the museum. It holds the Rosetta Stone, pieces of the Parthenon, and many other impressive artifacts. The museum is a large classical building, but it has an amazing center courtyard space that was recently added on by Foster and Partners - which is coincidentally where my friend Mike works, whom I was in London visiting.

         

It was nice to go to a the museum and just spent the time wandering around, looking at whatever I pleased and taking my time. It was the first time I had gone to a big museum by myself; usually I am trying to cooperate with other people and compromise on what to look at, and what to skip (it is not a problem in the smaller museums, of course).

                  

I met Mike when he got off work, and he gave me a tour of his office. It was really neat to take a peak at the organization of a bigger firm (I think he said there are about 400 or 600 employees at his office; my office has about 65). The Foster and Partners office is four (I think) separate buildings on the Thames River. I really liked the workspaces - they were very open, with a lot of light.

I am very happy for Mike. It seems like he is having a great time working there; he is working a lot, and really enjoying it! I think that enjoying your work should be one of the most important factors in choosing a job, or even, in choosing a profession!

I WAS PRODUCTIVE THIS WEEK - HOORAY! | JULY 14, 2006

I was personally productive this week! The beginning of fall semester is looming closer and closer - August 21st! I come home on the 7th and have exactly two weeks to prepare. It seems like a lot of time, but it actually isn't, because I have to find an apartment to rent in Ames, develop and propose a diploma project for my fifth year of school, and try to see all the people I have not seen in three months.

So I decided to take the initiative and email the potential faculty mentor for my diploma project, Dan. Thankfully, he accepted me as a mentee, so now I can begin to develop my diploma project.

I also decided to call my old landlord and see if he had any one-bedrooms left. I leased from him for two years and I thought he was a good landlord, so I thought "what the hell." I am happy I called - he had exactly one one-bedroom left - he had just put an ad in the paper today! It is the exact same as my old apartment (which was two bedroom, two bath, kitchen/living), only without the extra bath. So I will have a free room all to myself - maybe now I can work on a lot of model building at home.

Taking care of these two things takes a lot of stress off my shoulders (of course, I still have to think of an idea for my diploma project...). The only thing I need to do now is make it to the airport before 10:00 a.m. today to check in for my flight to London!

IS MOLAS IN ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST | JULY 13, 2006

Has anyone seen the July copy of Architectural Digest... in Italian? The project I have been (literally) slaving over for a month - L'Is Molas Golf Resort - has a spread in this month's issue.

Is Molas is a golf resort on the Italian island Sardinia. Fuskas Architetto has been designing (for over a year now) an addition of a hotel, clubhouse, and many multi-million dollar homes. I am working on a model building team of four people to finish 4 models at 1:50 scale of the four different house designs.

That is not what the article is about though. It shows some old silly model and some neat computer images . I don't know what the rest is, because it is in Italian!

         

I will show more images when we finish these models and when I update my portfolio. The design reminds me of the Flintstones, or the houses in Tatooine on Star Wars. If you can't see it now, you will understand when I show what I have been working on!

Anyway, it is neat to see something I am involved with be published. Makes you feel like it is worth something!

BON APPETIT? | JULY 12, 2006

Sometimes I can't avoid it - I have to eat in public. Take this morning for example: I did sleep well last night, so I stayed in bed late this morning. I woke up and made oatmeal, and put it in my bag to eat at work. And when I pulled it out to eat at work, everyone was so interested in it! "Is that leftover cat food?" "What is that?" and the dreaded "Bon Appetit!" (yes, oatmeal is weird to eat at work, but that is what I have for breakfast, ok?)

I really, really, really do not want people to notice me eating. I hate eating in public. I hate it when people ask me what I am eating, if I am eating enough, if I am eating too fast, blah blah blah. I really just want eating to be simple and stress free, not something that I have to discuss with everyone in the room.

But since Italy is all about food, that is not possible. Strangers yell "Bon Appetit!" at you if they see you eating in the street. It just makes me feel guilty and self-conscious.

3 DAYS UNTIL VACATION | JULY 11, 2006

I am so bored and frustrated out of my mind... I have been working on the same project at work for the past four weeks. Our deadline is on Monday. I just want it to be finished! I am tired of seeing the same thing over and over again. I need a break. I leave for London Friday morning... until then I will be anxiously awaiting...

CAMPIONI DEL MONDO | JULY 10, 2006

The local bakery offers their congratulations to the Italian Team:

On days like this, I can't help but love living in Italy.

TONIGHT THERE WERE FIREWORKS | JULY 9, 2006

I can't believe Italy won the World Cup. I never thought they actually would!

So it was crazy here again - a craziness you could probably never understand until you lived through it. I don't doubt that people will be partying all night long!

         

PLEASE SHUT UP YOUR DOG | JULY 8, 2006

Whoever designed the apartment building I live in is/was an idiot.

The building is seven stories. Each floor has six apartments, but they are either part of "Side A" or "Side B." You have to choose a stair/elevator to take on the main floor to get to either side. So really, you can only access three apartments per floor, depending on which side you are on.

There is an open core that the stairs wrap around. The stairs are not actually open to the outside, but these cores are. They are like big shafts that run through the building vertically.

In my apartment, the kitchen and bedroom window are open to this shaft. Not the outside, but this damn shaft. I was okay with that, because it still has a nice breeze and brings in fresh air.

But... everything echoes through it! This is a bad, bad design flaw. I can hear everyone's television, kids running and screaming as they climb up the stairs, and the worst of all - the dogs barking.

Every morning (really, every morning), someone's dog starts barking, somewhere in the building. I don't know where, because I can only hear it and not see it. They bark for about two hours. Another dogs starts to bark with him. The two dogs bark and bark and sound like they are trying to kill one another. Oh, at about 7:00 or 8:00 it starts.

I need to have that window open, I don't have air conditioning! And I have tried closing it, especially when I have a headache, but that does not help. On the weekends, when I really want to sleep in, I can't (peacefully) because I can hear these dogs. With the echo intensifying their barking, it sounds like they are in my apartment!

The worst part is - why every morning? Why can't the owner shut their dog up? Especially in the morning when normal people are trying to sleep? Obviously the dog is upset! He is hungry, or he wants to go outside and do his business.

It is probably just some jerk sleeping in and ignoring their dog.

Now, the only good thing about that damn window is that I can smell everyone's delicious Italian cooking!

ENGAGED IN ITALY | JULY 7, 2006

Being engaged, and living in Italy, is a strange experience. No one seems to recognize my engagement ring or know what it means. Just the other day, Rixa, someone I have seen almost everyday since January, noticed my ring for the first time and said "Oh, that is very nice!"

When I told two coworkers I was engaged to be married about a week ago they said, "Do you have a ring?" Um, yes? It has been right here on my finger for the past two months I have worked here...

A coworker on Thursday said, "May I see it? Oh, is it real? Real diamonds and gold and everything?"

And I have men saying things to me and approaching me a lot. This is strange, because although men in Italy tend to do this a lot, I am not the type of person that this should happen to. And it didn't happen to me this much while I was here in the winter!

I know that our cultures are different - American (USA) and European. We have different values and beliefs. Where it is common for a woman in the States to notice another woman's engagement/wedding ring, it is not common here. And I am not upset that they do not notice it, just surprised, because it is not what I am used to.

Almost all the interns in my office (maybe 15 or 20?) have significant others. I am the youngest person there, at 21, and I am the only one who is engaged to be married. Most of the interns tell me that they are not thinking about marriage, and do not even plan on staying with the person they are dating for a very long time into the future (which is too bad, because most of them are in long-distance relationships).

When I started college, in 2002, I thought it was really time to start dating people who I could see myself having a future with, or who at least had the qualities I would look for in someone to spend my future with. But only a few people must think this way. In Europe, many people live at home until they are in their late 30s, and just date around, they are not looking for someone to marry.

I don't see anything wrong with that, it just makes it harder for me to explain why I am 21 and getting married "so young." I will be explaining that right until my wedding day it seems!

WATCHING THE CLOCK| JULY 6, 2006

I always assumed it was normal to "watch the clock" at work. I thought it was something that everyone did, in anxiety to get off work and get home.

But after a bit of thought, I think I have been programmed to "watch the clock." Maybe it is not as normal as I thought.

When I worked at McDonald's, I was trained to be expectant and prepared for rush hours. There were certain times of the day that we were busiest (nine, noon, four-six, all day Friday, etc.). A big clock with "Speedy" (the McDonald's mascot before Ronald) was on the wall where everyone could see it. I learned to always watch the clock and to know what to do before, during and after these busy times.

Then, when I became a manager, knowing the time was even more important. I had to open and close the store on time, give people their breaks, make sure they only took the amount of break they were supposed to take, make sure people came in and got off on time, and also - prepare for our busy, "rush-hour" times. I had to know the amount of time is should take to do something, say, prepare a sandwich, complete a sale in the drive-thru, or unload the delivery truck. One of the most awful parts about being a manager at McDonald's is that you are always pushing people to be fast and to work hard all the time. You try not to let people slack off.

Surprisingly, I never felt too bored working there. There was always something to do, a customer to help, something to re-stock, something to clean... being busy made the time working there go by fast (it must have, I worked there for four years!). And we would become so busy that the time would feel like it was flying right by.

But now I always look at my watch at my current jobs, in class, and every where, to know what time it is. The problem is that at work, I always have to know what time it is! I don't allow myself to get engrossed in what I am working on, and ignore the time for awhile. And even though I like my work, I feel like I am always waiting and anticipating to go home.

I have noticed that other people do not check the time as much as I do. They ask me what time it is, and act surprised when I tell them it is later than they thought, or grumble if lunch is still an hour away (no one asks what time it is right when they come in - we all usually come in late!).

I don't think it is bad to have an idea of the time in your mind - it can help you stay focused and schedule out your day. But I automatically calculate hours - left in the day, until lunch, until I get off work, until I have to go to the shelter - when I look at my watch. I think I am a bit obsessed with knowing the time.

And working at McDonald's for four years (which I do not recommend) made me expect work to be fast-paced and energetic, which it isn't always. I tend to do best when I am under stress, on a deadline at my architecture jobs, because that is how I am used to working.

I suppose I just need to try not to look so much - maybe I should leave the watch at home?

No! Can't do that!

I NEED TO EXERCISE | JULY 5, 2006

All this World Cup hoopla makes me miss playing soccer (or at least doing something active!). I played soccer throughout high school, and I really loved it.

Now, I was never naturally skilled at it, and I never played on a very good team - just ask my dad - he went to all my games. But I always enjoyed playing. I looked forward to games as the highlight of my week. Playing soccer always made me feel energized, even though we normally lost!

The last time I played was for intramural at ISU in the Fall of 2004 - far too long ago! Sometimes when I see people kicking a soccer ball around here, I have the urge to run and join in.

Playing soccer really makes you an endurance runner. You are able to run longer, and sustain your speed. I miss running for exercise. A few times here I have put on some shorts and shoes to go running, but I always get discouraged by the hot weather and Italian people (who I know will look me up and down). It really is too warm here to exercise - unless I got up early in the morning or did it late at night - and even then it is stiflingly hot.

I suppose I will just wait until I get back home - Steven bought a treadmill. And of course, we have a nice gym at ISU. So until then I will just have to keep walking for exercise.

THE ONLY THING MISSING IS FIREWORKS | JULY 4, 2006

They celebrated something in Italy tonight, and it was not the fourth of July!

Italy beat Germany in the World Cup, semi-final game. Unfortunately I missed most of it. I saw twenty minutes of the first half in the pizzeria across from the shelter, but then I went to volunteer. I ran over to the pizzeria every twenty minutes to check on the score. The game was long, it went in to overtime. I was not sure what the score was when I said to Rixa, "I wonder who won!" Then I heard it...

... the spontaneous honking, screaming, shouting, cheering, and all encompassing noise that accompanies an Italy soccer match win.

I will never forget the Italian passion for soccer (football/calcio). Every world cup game they have won so far has become a parade in the streets, each one becoming more intense. So tonight was the craziest yet.

Apparently winning a game is an excuse to drive like there are no laws - people are hanging out the windows waving Italian flags, driving in the streets, all honking, speeding, going through red lights (ok, that is normal Italian driving). People are singing and shouting and running around like crazy. Rome is dead during the game, but as soon as it is over, the streets and sidewalks are packed with people and cars.

It is an all night party, and you can't escape it. I live on a side road, but there are still people speeding by waving the Italian flag and honking. The excitement is contagious.

If they act this crazy now, I cannot imagine what it will be like if they actually win the World Cup!

WHEN YOU CAN'T SLEEP | JULY 3, 2006

When you can't sleep at night anymore, it is very hard to look "nice" when you leave the house in the morning. Sure, on the weekends, I can just keep sleeping all day, or take a nap in the afternoon (or choose not to leave the house!), but when I have to work... I know I look like crap.

I am not sure if it is the fact that I am still tired and cannot put much effort into looking "together" or if it is that I am getting dark circles under my eyes and always look half-dead. Either way, it is a bit embarrassing, especially when my coworkers tell me I look like I had a "rough night."

My sleep (or lack of) has gotten to so bad that I have started to make a sleep journal - writing down which nights I can sleep or can't, and what I may have done and eaten that day to affect it.

At first I was thinking it may be solely caused by my diet, working too late at the shelter, and the heat, but I do not think that is the case. Some nights I can sleep - like this past Friday and Saturday, and some nights I just can't - like last night. Of course, last night did not help, when someone's car alarm starting going off at 2:30 am and was still going off when I left for work.

So know I am just hoping I can make it through my last five weeks in Rome, and if the sleeping problems follow me to the States, I will need to see a doctor. For me, it is not common to have problems falling asleep and staying asleep. I do so much and feel so tired that I should be fine.

THE ITALIAN NONNA | JULY 2, 2006

What is going on with the elderly women in Italy? These italiannonne (grandmothers) are mean! They look you up and down on the bus and tram, giving you the evil eye. They yell and shout at everyone, including their grandchildren. They always seem unhappy!

When I was leaving my apartment building today, an elderly lady who lives in the same building stopped to say something to me in Italian, and point and laugh at me. I told her I did not understand what she was saying, but instead of saying it again, she just pointed and laughed. So I just picked up my pace. Who knows if she was being mean or funny or what, but her attitude seems to fit in with my general perception of elderly Italian women.

It seems that they always have a scorn on their face. Maybe it is jut more noticeable here than in America? I think instead of nursing homes here, the elderly just stay with their families. Either way, I am not sure why they are so bitter, but I hate getting scrutinized every time I see one.

I miss my own grandmothers!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT IS ALREADY JULY!!! | JULY 1, 2006

Wow, July really snuck up on me. I spent most of June in a rut, feeling bad and lonely and depressed... and now it is July, so I can quit feeling that way!

Really, the date on the calendar does not matter so much, but it is time for me to make an effort to feel better. I think I just need to find a project to get engrossed in, and spend more time with other people.