Territorial
On Friday I met with a college classmate of mine for lunch.
Good god, what is wrong with me? I literally work TWO blocks away from this guy. I really enjoy his company and consider him a friend. And I hadn’t seen him for maybe… 5 months?!?! No one is that busy.
Anyway. He was updating me on our classmates’ whereabouts when he told me one of our classmates is looking for a job in Chicago, but having a hard time getting interviews and responses.
Before I even thought about it, I blurted out, “She should send a resume to my firm. We are looking for people right now.”
Then, I had a really, really weird feeling in my stomach.
Working with a former classmate shouldn’t be that strange, right? You spent at least four years of school with them, and chances are, have worked with them before. And you wouldn’t recommend a person you don’t like send a resume to your firm (I didn’t), so it should all be fun and games!
But I think I’m a bit territorial. And settled. And comfortable. It would be SO WEIRD to have someone I know from college waltz into my office and sit across from me.
It might be fun. But it might be weird. Those are just the thoughts that went through my head.
It’s highly unlikely anything will happen anyway…
Themocracy
I think it makes sense. You have made a lot of changes, grown since you last saw the person. That means that the person will be making a sort of “assessment” on your current “status” compared to where you were. You will be doing the same to them. It’s just the way things work when people from our past pop back up…. but no one likes being assessed. It’s kinda scary really.
And you have your life set up already. You are settling in, and brining in an element from when things weren’t settled should probably feel weird.
But you know…. maybe it would be really great too. 😉
i think kyra said it best and i must agree with her. well said!!
It’s that unknown that makes the “will it be good or not?” unsettled feelings take hold. Plus, you are probably pretty comfortable there and not wanting to introduce anything to shake that comfortable status. Having recently switched jobs than going back to my old job, it’s that comfortable state that really makes things work well.
So far, it’s just an invitation. Maybe something a lead from Monster.com will come up before they submit their resume.
Not to play the one-upmanship game (which I hate), but D & I spent the tail end of last week in San Diego with a friend of mine (among several others) who lives near Chicago — and lived about 3 miles from my place for one year (and within walking distance of D!). And we had only seen each other *twice* locally since we had last gotten together out in San Diego in Sept. 2006, i.e. in about 20 months.
Granted, it wasn’t entirely for lack of trying on either of our parts (I like to think especially mine…), but still… :-/ Point is, not seeing people you know for months – even years – on-end when they’re nearby doesn’t seem uncommon…
As for the territory question, Kyra covered it pretty well. Similar thoughts ran through my mind when I tried to get an acquaintance a job at a previous employer, and so I guess the question to ask is how well you know the person, and to visualize you and that person working day-to-day together (assuming that’s how things would most-likely pan-out, if they got the job at all)… How much space do you need: would you and they go everywhere together? Work on the same projects? How well do your work personalities mesh? etc.
Don’t do it!!! We hired someone I went to college with and she was a nightmare to work with. She would undermine me every chance she got. She completely divided our department. She is gone now and everyone gets along again.
I have that concern too! My company has a thing where they give you money if you refer someone who ends up getting hired, and I’ve thought about doing it, but I always think it would be so awkward to work with a friend! Even though in reality it probably wouldn’t be weird at all.
Well before you get too nervous, she might now even apply. And if she does, she might not get hired.
But I can see your point. That’s YOUR firm. And now someone you know is coming in? I’d be a little weirded out maybe.
I worked with someone in a prior law firm, he went to my wedding, I went to his, and we both switched firms and are within a block from each other — u would think we would see each other often, but NOPE! We FINALLY met up last week and vowed to not be strangers anymore.
I totally see your hesitation. I usually hesitate with stuff like that because if it doesnt work out I’m afraid it would make me look bad. Kinda silly.
oh i totally get what you mean here. i would feel much the same way. it’s your space, and you’re probably a different person now than you were then. so there’s that fear too, i’m sure. it’s a tricky situation, but i guess it’s all about the boundaries.
thank you so much for your comment the other day. it really made me smile. i can’t wait to read more of your blog!
Oh my gosh. It makes perfect sense to me and that is so something I would probably do myself. I think you’re right, nothing will come of it anyway.
Kyra – That is totally how I am feeling… this person will expect me to act how I did in college, or make assumptions based on that… she will be evaluating me no matter what I do! And like you said, I’ll be doing the same!
CourtneyInControl – I think she would have written the post better than me!
martymankins – I like being comfortable, and feeling like I have things figured out… even though I don’t. Well – I HAVE figured out other people’s quirks. Ha ha! But a new employee wouldn’t affect that too much!
E – It seems like there were a set of friends that lived near us, and we saw them at a wedding, states away and said “we should get together back home!” and never did! I know it’s common, but I wish it wasn’t. It’s hard for me to visualize working with this person, because while I knew them, I didn’t know them really well… I wouldn’t want to put a word in for her to my boss, then have to pay the price if it was a flop!
Robin – Yikes! That sounds awful. It’s probably something you weren’t expecting 🙁
Jess – A few months ago a coworker got a $100 bonus for referring a friend. I was SO JEALOUS! But then I thought about it … who would I recommend? I couldn’t think of anyone in the area!
Angela – You’re right. I doubt she’ll even apply. I think my friend thought it was one of those things were I was just saying have her send her resume in, and not really meaning it.
Gina (Mannyed) – This guy came to my wedding too, and was SO much fun on the dance floor! Why can’t I stay more in touch with people? We’re all just so busy with our lives… 🙁
marissa – I do feel like it’s my space… whether that is right or not, that is where the hesitation is stemming from. I feel some sort of undeserved ownership! Thank you for stopping by! I was excited to find your blog. Your writing is great!
Cheryl – I am starting to really doubt anything will happen, but it gave me a lot of scary “what if?” thoughts! 😉
I’ve learned, never recommend. I take great pride; when you refer someone and they suck, you feel like somehow it’s your fault…. Work is hard enough, why add that hassle? It might be fine, and it might not…. but I wouldn’t refer anyone to my work place and take that chance again.
It’s not territorial. It’s what you do for a living, it’s where you spend the majority of your time….. It’s your bread and butter.
I know you already said to have this person send their resume but *there are still ways around that.
DON’T DO IT! *Can you tell I’ve been burned? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I just don’t want to see you go through the same thing………..
You know what’s weird? Walking into a conference room at work to meet the guy who works for your sister company … and realizing he was a fraternity brother of the guy who used to give you rides home in college. That was weird. But, weird turned into delightful. We eventually worked together and became very good friends. It’s a small world out there and you just never know where great colleagues or friends are lurking!
javaqueen14 – Hee hee hee! I get your point! DON’T DO IT!!! You will have to tell me the story one time of what happened to you… or is this related to your experience of working with family and friends of the boss?
Nilsa – That would totally weird me out. I think it’s the fact of seeing someone you used to party with acting all professional (for me anyway). But it could be totally fun!