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A long time ago (back in MARCH), I told someone that I would help them with some write-ups for their association’s website. I promptly wrote up a list of ideas and emailed them, eager to help.

I never heard back.

I ran into that person a few months later. “Let’s get together and talk!” they said. I gave them my phone number, and told them to just let me know when.

Never heard from them.

Now, someone is leaving their association, and all of a sudden, they want my help. They are calling me and emailing me, telling me to do things, bossing me around, acting like I told them I would take on all these responsibilities.

Um, no.

They seem to be the type of person who doesn’t let anyone else get a word in, or give them a chance to say no. Or ever speak their mind. They act like they want your opinion, but really don’t.

I’ll deal with this in the working world, because I am getting paid. But definitely NOT on a volunteer basis.

I’m just going to have to try really hard not to be a bitch when I tell them that.

If I know I am going out for dinner in the evening (like tonight, with diane and E - a much awaited date!!!), I like to browse the restaurant menu online during the day, and pick my meal in advance.

I do this for several reasons:

One - it gives me time to pick the “healthiest” choices for a meal, if that is what I am in the mood for. Or, it lets me pick out a “not-so-healthy” meal choice, but gives me the entire day to eat a bit less, or even exercise a bit more (if I choose).

Two - it saves time at the restaurant, giving me more time to chat with friends. Normally, I am so excited to talk to friends at dinner, that the waitress comes back 3 or 4 times before we’ve made up our minds about what to order… or even opened the menus to take a peak!

Three - it gives me piece of mind. I have serious anxiety issues when it comes to choosing what to eat at a restaurant if I didn’t have time to research the menu or am not familiar with the place. All of these thoughts go through my head, “What did I eat today?” “Should I eat something unhealthy, or wait for a treat later in the week?” “Will I have time to work out after dinner?”

I try not to be an annoying dinner partner. And I still enjoy eating out! I just have a hard time not getting something really bad for me all the time and not clearing my plate all the time.

So, does anyone else choose meals in advance? For same or different reasons? Please don’t tell me I’m the only one!

When I went to respond to all of today’s comments, I noticed that all of the posts had comments disabled. Then, I noticed all my settings were messed up. Somehow, comments got turned off. Maybe on all my posts. I found this thread talking about it. Anyone else having this issue? Ugh. What a pain in the butt this is going to be.

Update: the SQL command in the post I linked to worked! It turned ALL of my comments back on. But I just wasted an hour figuring it out.

Do you take any vitamins or supplements? Which do you take? Do you notice any difference in your overall health from taking them?

Steven and I both take Centrum Multivitamin in the morning. I honestly don’t feel like it does anything. Anything that I notice. But it makes me feel better that it might be “filling in the cracks” with the nutrients I might be missing in my diet.

I’ve taken iron supplements before. After insistence from my mother. But honestly? It is really easy for vegetarians to get the nutrients they need in non-meat based foods. Well, it’s easy if you’re conscious of it!

Sometimes I have bad dreams right before I wake up. Yesterday morning, I was staying in Cleveland for business, and I had an awful dream that Steven and I were fighting about something. He wouldn’t even talk to me about it.

Then I woke up, alone, feeling guilty and sad. From a dream.

Does this happen to you as well?

Last night, I wrote a rant post about the quote below. I ran across it in the July issue of VOGUE. (I’ve been checking out back issues of VOGUE from our public library, in an attempt to spend less money on magazines, and learn a little more about fashion.) I interpreted the quote as “Starve Yourself!”

My intent was to publish the post this morning, but at the last minute, I didn’t. I figured you’d had enough of the health stuff for awhile. And I also figured I was being a bit extremist about the whole thing. I thought, maybe I was the only person who thought there was something a bit off about this quote (it was not followed by an article).

BUT! Today, after NOT posting that, I actually saw this in the “Letters from Readers” section of the October issue of VOGUE:

I am not alone!

After reading this, my passion came back all of a sudden, and I wanted to share my thoughts again.

First things first - I DO NOT think VOGUE is the place to go for health advice! Of course not! But, the way that quote is written, it DOES make me feel like they are saying “It is okay to not eat when you are hungry.”

SO MANY PEOPLE, myself included, do not eat when they are hungry. They eat all the time. They eat when they are emotional. They eat when they are bored. They eat when they are sad. They eat when they are happy!

I am trying (SO HARD) to learn to eat when I am hungry. To eat a small amount right before hunger hits, then stop when I am satisfied.

I don’t know A TON about how the human body works, but do you think it knows when you are hungry? I mean, if you are gorging yourself everyday (like I WAS), it won’t know, BUT it relearned with time.

So, I say, if you are hungry - then EAT, goddammit!

Okay. Now. How do YOU interpret it?

(Edit: A “pang” is a “a sudden feeling of mental or emotional distress or longing.” Does that mean that it is not true hunger? Did I misinterpret this completely? AH! My anxiety just came back!)

(Edit 2: Oh. And “Picturing my last meal” would make me feel more hungry. If I am feeling “snacky” but NOT hungry, the best thing for me to do is distract myself with something else not food-related!)

It’s taken me an embarrassingly long time to learn how to apply makeup. And I’ve had a lot of help in the process - from my sister, my sister-in-law, a coworker, the women at Ulta and Clinique… After many years, I feel like I am finally coming close to liking what I am seeing.

I thought I should share some of the tips I’ve learned - most of which seem to be related to eye makeup. Maybe this knowledge is natural to some women - but it sure wasn’t to me! (I apologize for the long post, and the fact that it has a more specific audience.)

Brand Loyalty Isn’t Always a Good Thing!

I think the first mistake I made was that I was trying to stay loyal to a drugstore brand - Maybelline. Seriously, I had been buying their products since 2000. When I wanted to try a new color, I would stick to Maybelline, and often be disappointed. This resulted in tubes of unused lipstick and stacks of barely-touched eyeshadow (Do people ever return those things? I feel guilty, since I used it ONCE).

Now I’ve realized that just because I love ONE Maybelline product (their liquid eyeliner) doesn’t mean I need to stick with them for EVERYTHING. I’m branching out.

The Brows Frame Your Face

I’m not sure if I was looking for an eyebrow pencil and gel when I went into Ulta a few months before our wedding, but I ended up with Sue Devitt’s “Sudan” pencil and gel (I’ve since moved on to Maybelline gel - it works the same for half the price) in my shopping bag when I left.

Wow, penciling in my eyebrows really helped me look more polished. Of course, it’s taken me quite awhile to learn how to use the right amount of pencil. At first, I was using the side of the pencil, drawing long, flat strokes. Ugh… no! No wonder that pencil lasted a whole year!

I recently read in Allure’s Confessions of a Beauty Editor (you know I was thinking of  you, Diane, when I checked it out at the library) that the pencil should be sharp, and the strokes more “hair-like.” Yeah. Duh. That’s helped. A LOT.

Add a beautiful Mario Tricoci eyebrow wax (because they don’t do threading) and some gel and voila - muchos polished.

Use an Artist’s Tools for Your Canvas

I took my mother to Ulta the day before the wedding for a makeover, and to surprise her by buying some of the products. (My mother RARELY wears makeup. I’m not even sure if she brought any with her! Maybe some lipstick.)

The makeup artist used an assortment of brushes to apply her eyeshadow. Larger, softer brushes for the entire eyelid and up to the brow, and angular, flatter brushes for close to the eyelid. I was hooked. These brushes can be expensive, but I feel like I have so much more control with them - compared to the ones that come with the shadows. Of course, I am still learning how to blend colors and create different effects.

Get a Professional’s Advice

A month ago, I dug out all those old eyeshadows to look for something “new” to try. I tend to wear the same shadow everyday, but vary it by season. And it was time for a “Fall” look.

I saw nothing I liked at home. I finally dumped all that old crap into the garbage and made my way to the Clinique counter. I told the stylist the look I was going for, and she recommended the Strawberry Fudge Duo.

I’m liking it so much, I am considering trying another duo for a different, more dramatic, evening look. I am applying the shadow the same way - with the brushes - bit first using a bit of foundation on my eyelids to give the powder something to stick to all day. They had a product for this purpose at Clinique, but foundation works well for it.

Clump Free Is the Way To Be

I think I’ve tried every Maybelline mascara. Thick, Volume, Extending, Rubber Applicator - they all clumped and made my lashes look like nasty spider legs!

I decided to go out on a limb and try the CoverGirl Last Blast.

THAT was an extreme help.

Then, a coworker recommended using a round mascara-wand-like brush to comb my lashes before and after applying mascara (then clean the brush).

Wow. This helps so much more. The wand separates the lashes and you can actually tell I have individual eyelashes! I am only embarrassed that they were clumpy for so long!

Fin

Well, these are all of my tips as of now. I am still working on figuring out lips and face! What tips do  you have to share?

You know what has made following a healthy lifestyle SO MUCH EASIER? Having Steven doing it with me, as well as supporting me and encouraging me.

Sometimes you aren’t lucky enough to have a support system. Sometimes the people around you, the ones you live with and would expect to be the most supportive, are condescending and negative. Or downright spiteful, manipulative and intent on sabotaging your plans.

I haven’t dealt with this in an extreme way, but I think all of us who have tried to be healthier have felt resistance from other people at some point in our lives.

We were talking about this this weekend, and it dawned on me how important it is to have a support system. And how lucky I am to have Steven in this with me, but also all of you, who continue to read this drivel and encourage me. Thank you.

It seems silly to only be realizing this now. I mean, how many health magazines articles have I read talking about this? “Exercise with a friend to keep the weight off for good!” “Cook healthy meals, together!” “Share your weight loss plan with family and friends!”

I guess I didn’t realize how lucky I am, because I have grown accustomed to it. Accustomed to Steven making healthy meals, running with me, asking how my weight loss is going, etc. Accustomed to his encouragement.

And only now that I think about it, I realize all of the times I’ve been unsuccessful in weight loss, I’ve been on my own. Yeah, I’ve lost the weight, but did I keep it off? No. I am almost strong enough. But not quite. Maybe some people are.

I think I at least need someone I can talk to about it, without feeling embarrassed.

To have that, and more, I am grateful.

I never thought the term “retail therapy” applied to me. Even though I have spent a few lunch breaks walking up and down State Street, wandering in and out of stores I had visited only a week or so before… I just thought I was looking for “essentials” for my work wardrobe.

Right.

Now that I have cut back on that (really, I have most of what I need) I realize that shopping was just a replacement for what I used to do during my lunch break to get away from work stress for awhile - eat eat EAT!

Don’t worry - I didn’t waste a lot of money, or even spend that many days at the stores, I just realized when I was out there, I wasn’t really looking for anything in particular. I was just looking for a mental break.

For a few months, I have been eating my lunch at my desk. Every day.

I hate this. It makes me feel anti-social. And it doesn’t really count as a mental break. Even if I am sitting there, reading email or blogs, or whatever.

Somedays, I don’t even leave the floor of my building.

Which must be why I liked going to shops. It just got me out of the building. And may be why I would run around outside looking for treats, before I started my healthy lifestyle quest.

We have a “break room.” But you know what? I can’t eat in there. I can’t sit still, and watch people eat their lunch. Without craving something more than mine. I am not starving myself, but I am grazing - I eat small things throughout the day. It actually feels great. But sitting down, and seeing someone eat so much more, along with trying to make small chat - I can’t do it. It makes me all nervous and antsy and depressed. It affects my ENTIRE day.

And I can’t take my small lunch back there and make it last very long. I already eat fast, and I am not eating much. So put those two together - why even go back there?

When I lived and worked in Rome, I did this as well. Only, we HAD to leave the office during lunch. So I would walk around and see the sights, eating my small lunch. Why can’t I do that here?

Yeah, ideally, I wouldn’t be this weird about food.

It would be amazing if these things happened in October:

• I posted here every day
• I finished drawing the sketch of a friend’s home based on measurements I took in… June
• I actually opened the LEED book I borrowed from my father-in-law last winter and READ it
• I gave Steven the photoshop lessons I’ve been promising him
• I wrote a letter to my friend Rixa, who lives in Rome
• I finally visited my new nephew! (We plan on it)
• I ran another 5k (with Steven)
• I got rid of some of the jiggle in my butt and thighs
• I lost ten pounds

If the cold weather keeps me inside, maybe I will get some of these things done. What do you think? What’s on your plate?