Comments (15)

By kilax, April 25, 2009 8:39 pm

Peanut Butter is a trigger food for me. It can sit in the pantry for weeks and I don’t even think about it, but once I open it, I eat WAY too much.

We had two containers in our pantry from November – creamy and crunchy. They were both half full this week. They are now gone – mostly because of me.

We went to Target today to get groceries, and even stopped by the peanut butter, but I didn’t say that we needed any, because I didn’t want it in the house. I was being selfish.

Steven noticed we were out when we got home. He was upset that we didn’t get any. I can understand that. He likes to have it every once in awhile. And it was wrong of me to only think of myself when making the grocery list. I told him I would go pick some up, but that it is a trigger food for me, so I had no idea how long it would last. And I have no idea how long this overeating/binging phase is going to last for me. Why do I go through phases like this?

So now I feel guilty for eating too much AND for not getting any more peanut butter for the pantry. Yay.

Comments (18)

By kilax, July 7, 2008 6:02 am

What are you supposed to say to a friend when they tell you they are in so much physical pain they understood why some people end their lives?

My friend Rixa (a 71-year old German woman who lives in Italy) called me this weekend. I met her when I lived in Rome, and I still write to her twice a month, and she calls me every 3 or 4 months.

During this call, she told me about a slew of bad things that happened to her last year that I didn’t even know about. She got hit by a car. Burglars broke into her home while she was there. Then she was in so much pain all the time, and couldn’t walk well or go to the bathroom, that she thought about ending her life, but wondered who would take care of her cats (please, no crazy cat lady jokes).

She had an operation near the end of June that she just now came home from, and has to rest for three weeks. She said she already feels better, which she can’t believe – she was in so much pain she thought it would never end.

She’s a very serious woman. It actually took me awhile to find out what made her smile (and laugh!) but after that, we became very close. It makes me feel awful to know she was in so much pain, and I didn’t even know about it. But what could I have done? She is not the type to want help from anyone else.

She was happy to be receiving my letters at least.