Comments (16)

By kilax, May 27, 2009 12:21 pm

I had such a crappy, “not what I expected” Memorial Day weekend that it’s left me in a fog this week. It’s causing this huge funk that feels like it’s taking forever to shake off.

It’s also reiterated that nothing is ever going to turn out how I expect it. I can’t control people. I can’t stop them from being judgmental and irrational and pushy and ridiculous (the list could go on). ALL I CAN CONTROL IS MYSELF.

I just hate that I turn into a bitch (and more) when someone pisses me off. So I’ll work on that. And I’ll work on avoiding the people that make me feel this way.

This is why we don’t care that we live so far away from our families. Because most of them MAKE US CRAZY after long periods of time.* There, I said it.

*A long period of time being more than a day.

Comments (26)

By kilax, September 6, 2008 11:45 pm

I’ve been a little bit bummed all week – Steven’s been in Denver for a conference (he comes home tomorrow evening). And even though I lived by myself for so long… even in a foreign country, my daily routine feels all off with him gone! I feel like I am rushing through everything so I can just get to bed and sleep another night away. Have I lost my independence? No, ha ha! I’ve just become very accustomed and happy to spend so much time with him.

Anyway. It’s been awhile. Here’s what’s new with me:

• I am an aunt again! Meet Thomas Patrick – born on Thursday! Isn’t he perfect? Don’t you love his hair? No, I am not biased. He’s actually stuck in the hospital for some time because his white blood cell count is too high. They say it’s not serious, but you can say a little prayer for him if you’d like.



He is my older brother and sister-in-law’s second child. They named him after my dad’s brother (Tom) that passed away. I can’t wait to meet him!

• We spend Labor Day weekend with my family at their cabin on the Mississippi River. What a perfect weekend. The weather was AMAZING. We grilled on the beach, went on boat rides, tubing, sunbathing… and ate TONS and TONS of food. I don’t want to say that it was the perfect end to summer – because I don’t want to admit summer is coming to an end – but with our cold temperatures and rain all week, I think it’s safe to say it.

• Our one-year anniversary was Monday! The cake tasted JUST AS AMAZING as it did on our wedding. I think credit goes to my mom for wrapping it in a million layers of saran wrap. And I think the 3/4″ fondant the covered it also preserved it. Yummy. (And I can’t forget to give credit to Andrew and Courtney for perfectly separating it from the rest of the cake)

We didn’t exchange anniversary gifts, but decided to buy something nice together. I am happy that is the decision we made. I’d rather do that then buy something silly for Steven that he doesn’t need/want.

• I’ve been doing a lot of shopping. At my one-year review in May, my boss politely told me that I need to dress less frumpy. That is not how she said it, and she was really nice about it… and… I knew she was right. I looked like crap because I felt fat and crappy. Now that I’ve lost quite a bit of weight, I’ve been buying a lot of clothes. I know it is materialistic, but it’s really made me feel better about my appearance. Before I just wore button-down tops everyday. Now I am trying more trendy, form fitting things. I’m still quite a bit away from my goal weight though – so I may be too small for these in another year! We’ll see. I’m excited to see progress from all of my hard work.

Comments (10)

By kilax, August 16, 2008 11:09 pm

Steven and I just finished watching Definitely, Maybe. You could probably guess that I put it on our netflix list, but we both liked it.

The story is about Will, who is going through a divorce when his 10-year old daughter Maya questions him about how he and her mother met. Will tells Maya the story of three women in his life – his college sweetheart, his best friend, and a talented writer – and leaves it up to Maya to guess which is her mother.

The story made me think about when Steven and I first met and what a wonderful start we had to our relationship.

Yes, it brought back all those warm fuzzies, that I feel I must share with you.

I met Steven the Friday before I started my freshman year of college. We were at the same Frat party (reluctantly drug there by friends) and two completely random people introduced us to each other. Steven ended up walking me back to my dorm and (aww) asking me for my number. He promptly called me the next day to invite me to watch a football game at a friend’s house.

You know when you immediately get that feeling about someone? That there is something intriguing about them, and you want to spend more time with them? You’re giddy and happy and excited and nervous all at the same time? It was like that.

It was my first week of college, and already I was thinking, “when will class be over so I can see him?” We both went away for Labor Day weekend, and the whole time, I was thinking about him. I remember telling my parents about this new “friend” I met. I called him immediately when I got back to school.

Steven was a senior and knew a lot about the town that I didn’t. It made me feel special when he would take me to places he liked – like this coffee shop, where we would “study,” which really means we stared at our books for awhile, then would start talking and flirting, and sitting closer to each other on the couch.

I had so much fun getting to know him, finding out his interests, sharing our pasts, being coy with each other…

… it just brings back a smile to my face. I wonder if there is a way to recapture that mystery, intrigue and excitement of first getting to know someone. Even thinking about it now makes me feel that kind of contentment.