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By kilax, March 29, 2009 10:37 pm

Has anyone else seen Knowing?

Steven and I saw a preview for this when we went to see Taken. I turned over to him and said “That looks really good, but… Nicolas Cage is in it…” I had kind of written off Nicolas Cage movies as “immediately in the Netflix Queue” movies. As in, “not worth seeing in theater!”

But Ebert gave it 4 stars (like that means anything, I know), we love “the world’s coming to an end” movies, and had a free movie ticket*, so we decided to go.

Wow. I was completely shocked by this movie. We all know from the previews that the movie is about a sheet of paper with a bunch of numbers all over it. Nicolas Cage gets a hold of the paper and figures out the numbers correspond to dates of horrific events and the number of deaths. Pretty freaky already, right?

Well, I don’t want to give it away, but the movie is a little bit more complicated than that. It took on a much more different angle than I expected it to based on the preview. And it seriously creeped me out. As in, I was grabbing Steven’s arm in the theater, and will probably have nightmares.

I wish I could say more, but I don’t want to spoil it. If you were thinking about seeing it in the theater, I think it is worth it.

*We are signed up for the free rewards program at our theater, and they keep giving us free drinks, and popcorn and tickets! They gave us another ticket tonight! Sweet!!!

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By kilax, March 18, 2009 4:10 am

I have to share two dirty little secrets:

1. I am a runner who NEVER does strength training. (BAD BAD BAD!!!)
2. I am a runner who NEVER gets sore from running. I push myself, but never feel the burn the next day. Lucky, I guess.

With that being said – for me to find a workout DVD that gets the strength training in, AND makes me feel sore as hell, that means a lot! And that’s not mentioning that is also gets my blood flowing and my heart rate up.

I’ve been doing Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred at Level 1 for four days now. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the DVD, it is split into three levels of workout intensity. You become comfortable with one before you more on to the next. I think the idea is that you do it once a day for 30 days straight, but it never actually explains that on the DVD… anywhere that I’ve found anyway!

Each level is a “20” minute (more like 30) workout with a warm up, then 3 intervals each of 3 minutes on strength, 2 minutes of cardio, and 1 minute of abs, and a cool down. It is fast paced and keeps your heart rate going the whole time.

Pros: Just doing this for four days has me walking around like I have stiff, sore legs. It hurts to bend over. My chest is sore. It feels great! I can really see this DVD changing my body in the next 30 days. And I like that it only takes 30 minutes of my time, can be done without leaving my house, and requires minimal equipment – just free weights.

Cons: I worry that the DVD is only going to strengthen my upper legs and chest/upper arms. I hope that we get to a calf exercise in the later levels. And I find Jillian annoying and fake. But I bet a lot of people say that. (In the last ab exercise of Level 1, she says “I know you feel that little knot in your stomach. That’s your body getting stronger.” Ugh. Every time she says that, I DO feel it. Those bicycle crunches ARE HARD.) And one more thing – the DVD doesn’t play nice with our DVD Changer. Oh well.

Overall, I really like it, especially being the first workout DVD I’ve ever tried. I hope that if I ever surpass Level 3, I will have a new found inspiration to continue strength training on my own! I really think anyone* could do this DVD – no matter what your exercise level is. It is tough at first, but even four days later, it’s feeling easier to me.

Side Note: I just remembered that Jillian Michaels has this game for the Wii. I don’t have the Wii Fit, but the game sounds kind of cool.

*Let me know how it goes if you try it! I know Tori is talking about it! And based on offline conversations with Denise, Mom, Courtney and Gina – I think you four would like it as well!

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By kilax, October 15, 2008 5:51 am

It’s time for me to reread Life is Hard, Food is Easy, by Linda Spangle.

It’s also time for me to 100% honest. To let it all out.

This is going to be a long one…

Steven and I have a typical weekday routine. It’s nice for me. He gets home first and makes dinner. I get home, dinner is made, we eat. We almost immediately exercise outside, together, or move camp upstairs to use the treadmill.

Last night, Steven got home about an hour after I did. Of course, no dinner was made when I got home (Thanks a lot, Data).

I immediately started to have a weird “out-of-routine” panic. I wanted to make dinner and eat together, but I knew we would be eating too late for both of us to use the treadmill or exercise outside together.

So, what happened? I tried to busy myself by cleaning up the kitchen before preparing dinner.

But I was feeling stressed, anxious, and nervous. How I’ve felt since Sunday. There’s more bothering me than what I’ve mentioned in my lovely “Why I’m Pissed Off Today” series. I’ve been externally avoiding these things (not talking about them), while internally dwelling on them and feeding my “pissed off” mood.

I think I’ve created a self-fulfilling pissed off mood. Anyway.

It happened. Those leftover, p.o.s., “I’m too pissed off to take these ugly oatmeal raisin cookies to work” (long story) cookies were sitting on the counter, all crumbled up in a container. Stupid p.o.s. cookies.

I ate one crumble. Yum. I ate more. I kept eating. I couldn’t stop. Inside my head I was telling myself, “No! You have to eat dinner with Steven soon!” But I couldn’t stop my hand and mouth. I was just grabbing them as fast as I could and chewing them even faster.

It literally felt like something took over me.

Somehow, I stepped away, and sat down on the couch with my computer. Steven called, and I told him about it. He suggested throwing the cookies away. I did. I am thankful for that.

I still ate dinner. But I didn’t exercise. In fact, I laid in bed while Steven exercised, feeling cranky and upset. About so many things.

I tried to be reassuring. I told myself, “You only ate about 600 extra calories! You’ll be fine! No biggie! Sometimes you eat more than that at a restaurant and still lose weight!” (see how positive my self-talk can be?)

This morning, I stepped on the scale. I have a love/hate relationship with the scale. As in, I love it when the number goes down, and hate it when it stays the same or goes up.

I still weigh myself every day, to keep on track. My dream is that someday, when I am “maintaining” my weight, I will only step on that b*tch once a week. Ha.

It said I went up TWO pounds. This is illogical. I did not eat THAT much. I quickly came up with reasons in my head to defend the gain, then told myself, “STOP – STOP DOING THIS!”

Stop obsessing.

I should be proud of myself. Last weekend, I got my “Size 12” box out of my closet. It had been on a shelf since last winter. Everything fits. Everything. Shouldn’t I be proud of that? I am moving through clothing sizes so fast now (so fast, that I am wasting money when I buy new pants – they only fit for a month or so).

I was a size 18. My goal is a size 10 (maybe smaller). I’m so close. But still, I obsess.

I worry. I think about food too much. I’m afraid of food. I. Have. To. Be. In. Control.

This weekend, Steven and I are traveling to Iowa to visit my family. We even took Friday off from work. I am excited about the trip. I haven’t seen some of my family since June!

But I worry. Like I always do. I worry I won’t have a good time unless I am stuffing my face. I worry I will eat too many “bad foods.” I worry about losing self-control.

Seriously. What’s the big deal, if every once in awhile, I let things go and eat more? (A lot more)

I beat myself up about it though. Even though I am telling myself, “This isn’t a big deal, Kim! It’s just one time weekend! You eat healthy all the time! Give yourself a break, girl! You deserve it!” I still feel guilty.

I have such an unhealthy, warped relationship with food/eating.

I’m so into “self-help,” I am convinced I can “fix” myself.

I read this book the last time (sad to write that) I lost a lot of weight, and I have reread a few sections since then.

It’s funny how I only read health books/fitness magazines when I am already in the process of a healthy lifestyle. I guess when I am not following a healthy lifestyle, I just feel too hopeless to even kid myself by opening it.

Anyway. I remember that I connected with this book so much when I read it.. that it was eerie.

Of course, I always think I am the only person who has overeating/binge problems. I’m not. But I forget.

The book links certain emotions with food and recommends a 5-step plan to overcome, essentially, eating your emotions.

I’m always weary of “step” programs. But the rest of the book seems so smart – I feel like it is speaking directly to me – that I think it is time for a reread/rethink. There must be something in there to help me.

I have to share the portion of the book that really “clicks” with me. The author identifies two kinds of “hunger” that bring on the emotional eating reflex – “head hunger” and “heart hunger.”

Head Hunger begins with a specific craving for something chewy, crunchy or textured (examples – chewy: candy bars, trail mix, steak; crunchy: nuts, breakfast cereal; textured: pizza, fries). “Head hunger is usually prompted by pressure-type emotions like anger, frustration or resentment.”

Heart Hunger doesn’t bring up specific cravings. You just have to eat and begin to mindlessly search for things (this used to happen to me A LOT). You often pick something soft, smooth or creamy (examples: ice cream, cheese, chocolate, cake, mashed potatoes, ethnic foods). “Heart hunger usually creeps in gradually.” It’s fueled by subtle emotions like loneliness, boredom, fatigue, need for love, etc.

Gosh. How can a book understand me that well? Why don’t I “understand me” that well?

Seriously. Can you relate to these descriptions at all?

The book goes on with steps to deal with the emotions in other ways than eating. The method is more than just distracting yourself, if I recall correctly.

I feel hopeful just writing about it.

The funny thing is, overeating/binging hasn’t been a huge problem for me lately. But last night scared me. I used to eat like that ALL THE TIME. And I’ve mentioned that I don’t understand how my mood suddenly changed to allow me to follow a healthy lifestyle.

I’m afraid. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to stay at a healthy weight.

Right now, I’m at my “plateau” weight. The weight I always get to and stall, then regain. I was hoping to just bust right past it. But I am dwelling on it too much. I’ve got to let it go. I’ve got to give my body time.

I think the whole “Body Mass Index” (BMI) is kind of bs, but I am in the overweight category with a 28.7. I’m almost “obese.” I’d just like to get into the “normal weight” range and STAY THERE.

But you know what? That’s probably not truly “normal.” Normal for most people is probably just like me, having issues and struggling with food.

But, we try. Right?

So, I’m going to keep trying. I already feel better. Thanks for reading.

Comments (9)

By kilax, May 22, 2008 12:35 pm

Emergency midday lunch break post!

I saw this graph on icanhascheezburger this morning while I was checking blogs and brushing my teeth… and was still giggling about it when I got to work.

I just had a chance to look at the actual site – Graph Jam – during my lunch break – H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S! How did I not know about this site?! Why don’t you people tell me about these things?! I immediately added it to my reader.

The subtitle for the site is “Pop Culture for People in Cubicles.” The site contains funny graphs about… pop culture. That is it. I have a feeling Steven will love it. He loves making graphs and charts in excel. Sometimes, I think he loves excel more than me.

Here are a few of my favorite graphs:

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By kilax, April 16, 2008 5:57 am

Update: It is also radioactive girl’s birthday today! Happy Birthday! Wow… July’s the month to get busy!

There are four blogger birthdays this week (that I know of!). Today is Diane’s, so Happy Birthday Diane! (And feel better soon!) Friday belongs to Gina and sizzle. So… Happy Early Birthday Gina and Happy Early Birthday sizzle! And Lisa’s is this week as well… Happy Birthday Lisa!

And… I want to tell you about the book I bought Gina for her birthday. I have this little problem with thumbing through quite a bit of the books I buy for my friends… hey, it happens.

I read about Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure in some magazine I got in the mail in March. The premise of the book is, you guessed it, six-word memoirs of authors. Some of my favorites are:

“No shit I’m critical – you’re flawed.” – Elizabeth Koch

“I am awfully bored at work.” – Chris Ponchak

“Didn’t fit in then; still don’t.” – Bob Fingerman

“Asked to quiet down; spoke louder.” – Wendy Lee

Of course, I could go on and on… I recommend picking up a copy of the book, just because these memoirs really make you think.

Right before I bought the book I found out that another blogger – Freak Magnet – created her own six-word memoir on her blog! What a fun idea for us bloggers! Has this gone around all ready and I missed it? I’ve seen it a few other places since I originally wrote this post…

Anyway, here’s mine, which took a while to think up. Please share yours in your blog, or in the comments!

Always known as “the loud one.”

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Today’s Idiom: Pyrrhic victory – a too costly victory

Getting our neighbors to quiet down was a Pyrrhic victory – we now live in peace inside our home, but are uneasy being outside our home… and I feel guilty for being so spiteful and mean-spirited.

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By kilax, March 23, 2008 9:47 am

Originally, I thought liking musicals films was an all or nothing thing – you either liked them or you didn’t.

So I thought I was in the “like” category – I really like Moulin Rouge (for obvious reasons, SJ), Rent, and classics like The Sound of Music, Grease and White Christmas. But then I saw Hairspray… and despised it so much I wanted to stab a pen into my ears and eyes to stop the horror. I put myself in the “dislike” category and figured new musical films just aren’t for me.

Before seeing being tortured by that movie, my older brother told me he really wanted to see Across the Universe, the Beatles-based musical film set in the 1960s, when he came to Chicago in the fall. I was all gung-ho and excited to see it, but then he had to cancel.

He and I both never saw the movie, and it left theaters. Then, after seeing Hairspray and feeling just a bit pessimistic, I though, “It’s a good thing I didn’t see that movie. It probably sucked and would have been a waste of time.”

I never told anyone about my new found dislike, and still bought a copy of the DVD for my brother for his birthday, fully expecting him to hate it, but kind of short on gift ideas (I’m such a great sister, right?).

When he called me to thank me for the gift, and I asked him how the movie was, I was completely surprised to hear how much he liked it. At that point, SJ had already raved about it, but I was so put off by the suckiness of Hairspray and afraid of what the movie might do to my beloved Beatles music.

My brother bought the movie with him last weekend during his visit.

Of course – I loved it.

I loved the talented singing. I loved the new take on the songs.

I loved the acting.

I loved the costumes.

I loved the stories.

I loved that it was a very artistic movie but still had a plot you could follow.

So… I guess I was wrong about musical films. They are just give-or-take.

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By kilax, January 9, 2008 5:50 am

Have you seen the Onion’s Our Dumb World: Atlas of the Planet Earth?

It is a politically incorrect, spoof atlas of the world. I read a review of it in the beginning of December, and just from the book excerpts in the article, I immediately knew I had to buy it.

In the book, nearly every country is featured on its own page (the US section spans several pages, with a description for each state), with full color maps, made-up statistics based on stereotypes, and humorous photos. You’ll get a small glimpse of what the book is like by visiting the interactive atlas on their website.

What makes the book so funny is that it is full of exaggerated stereotypes of what Americans think of other nations. The description of Italy really made me laugh:

Italy is known as one of the most racially intolerant nations in the world, where citizens base their opinions of other ethnicities on appearance and stereotypes alone. But then, what more do you expect from a bunch of greasy, filthy womanizers?

And so did that of India (but like I said, it is NOT politically correct):

Mired by rising poverty levels, polluted groundwater that threatens the lives of millions, and a rapidly crumbling infrastructure, the nation of India has every intention of addressing these problems just as soon as it finishes telling Midwesterners how to install Windows XP on their home computer.

I know you have to have a certain sense of humor to enjoy the book, but I really did. I actually bought a copy of it for my brother-in-law for Christmas, but when I couldn’t put it down even before I gave it to him, I knew I would have to buy my own copy as well.

For being a joke book, there is a ton of content. I cannot imagine how long it took the authors to make it all up, or at least discover of all those stereotypes. I am looking forward to buying my own copy soon, and tainting my mind just a little bit more.

I recommend it to anyone with a good sense of humor, especially if you love maps like I do!

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By kilax, December 4, 2007 6:15 am

I am a very dedicated Natalie Portman fan. I will see any film she is in, no matter how awful (or wonderful) it might look, and poor Steven gets drug along to the theater with me. Sometimes he lucks out and ends up loving the movie – as was the case with V for Vendetta – and sometimes we leave the theater with him asking, “why did you want to see that?” (as was the case with Closer). I always tell him the same thing – that I will see anything she is in… and he always says that doesn’t make any sense. But I bet some of you are the same way, right? RIGHT?

Anyway, the newest film of hers that caught my interest is The Other Boleyn Girl, which comes to theaters in February. I knew the film was based on a book by Philippa Gregory, but I wasn’t planning on reading it. That is, until I saw this preview, and was so intrigued by the preview that I went and bought the book that day because I knew I couldn’t wait until February to know what the story is about.

Surprisingly, I ended up really liking the book. I usually don’t read novels so I was worried that I would struggle through it. But it has quite a bit of history in it, and a lot of scandal. Even though it was well over 600 pages, I finished it in a week and never grew tired of it.

And since I am clueless about world history, and had no idea who Henry VIII or Anne Boleyn were, I was actually surprised by a lot of the twists and turns in the plot.

The amazon site for the book has a pretty good review from Publishers Weekly if you are interested. I definitely recommend the book! I hope the movie doesn’t disappoint!