Another reminder to watch my tongue
During my annual review at work last week, one of my constructive criticisms was that when I am told to do something I don’t know how to do, I say “I don’t know how to do that,” then find someone who knows how.
The feedback was that time and time again, I’ve figured out how to do things I don’t know how to do, so when tasked with something like that, I should build on that past confidence to figure it out. And not say “I don’t know how to do that.”
Bottom line – they don’t want to hear “I don’t know how to do that.” Fair enough.
I know I need to change this instinctual response. I need to replace “I don’t know how to do that,” with “I’ll figure it out.” The first response is way too negative, and probably makes it sound like I am not going to figure things out, even though I always do.
And figuring it out will still involve, yes, me asking people who’ve done it before for advice. Because I don’t need to reinvent the wheel with most things I do at work. Especially procedural things. I prefer being taught. I prefer being efficient, when possible.
It’s funny I got this feedback right before a work day trip where I was going to do something I’ve never done before, and feeling nervous about it. How did I prepare? By asking people on my team who’ve done it before for tips and lessons learned. Did I say it was my first time and I didn’t know how to do it? To coworkers, yes. It’s almost like I do that to set expectations – hey, just a heads up, I have no idea how to do this, because I wasn’t trained on it, and never thought I’d have to, and don’t want it to be part of my job. But I’m gonna do my best! (Ha, not what I actually said…)
It all boils down to change being hard (and me being stubborn). My job is so different from when I started, and I understand why, but the new work doesn’t appeal to me. I work hard, but I don’t enjoy it. It’s rare I get excited about things at work anymore.
Luckily I work somewhere with lots of positions so I keep watching for something new! And yes, I can use a more positive vocabulary while I do so.
I just have such a hard time not saying what I’m thinking… or showing my reaction on my face even if I don’t say anything (ha, that was another constructive criticism years ago). But I can continue to work on that, and fake it until I make it at work!
No related picture, so here’s one from yesterday’s run
Themocracy
Interesting! My response tends to be “I’m not sure, but I’ll figure it out and let you know.” or “I’m not sure, but why don’t you ask so-and-so. I bet they can help. And let me know what you find out!”
My boss tells me that sometimes I “play the victim” instead of pushing for results. I think that’s because he doesn’t understand how hard I’ve pushed for things only to get shot down in the past. It’s hard to change your mindset after you’ve gotten nowhere so many times!
I need to use your first response! (Ha, but not the second one, because if they are telling me to do it, they want me to, even if it’s someone else’s job, which means I ask that person, and do the work… yay)
I can totally understand getting to that point. If you see the same results so many times, that is what you have been TRAINED to expect! (And I am making an assumption that pushing for results sometimes means nagging people to do THEIR job and that just gets so old.)
Ugh! So much nagging! And I fully admit that it’s the thing I hate to do. I mean, if you don’t want to do your job it shouldn’t fall on me to make you do it. I’m not your boss!
And it shouldn’t fall so much on their boss either! People should just do their work 🙁
When you right about your job I nod my head along with you. I didn’t receive that criticism but I feel the same way about my job. I loved it for many years and then it changed a lot and now I just tolerate it.
Ugh, sorry you are in the same boat 🙁 Are you looking around for a move?
I veer toward the negative when asked to do something that I’m not comfortable with; once I have time to think, I usually figure out a way to do it, but I wonder why I instantly go negative instead of being accommodating? It’s weird to get a performance review and hear what others think of you.
I wonder why we do this too! I know for me, I don’t want to be “tagged” as the person who is an expert in something she really isn’t. I want my chance to learn. So I quickly let people know I don’t know. But why so negatively?!
It’s weird, but good. And I am never surprised lol!
I go all negative when someone doubts that I can do something. At my last job, I was told, “well, that is your opinion…” After almost 2 decades of doing that job. I was also told I was not a team player. And that, my friends, is why I am no longer there. I have Post Traumatic Job Syndrome, however, and find myself apologizing when I have no reason to apologize. I think you are right, though. Just change that first phrase that pops out of your mouth… (Go ‘Clones…)
Being told you can’t do something is horrible! I’m sorry that happened. The PTJS makes sense from that!
Go Cyclones!
When I first started administering a system at work, I found my answer to questions was almost always started with, “I don’t know…” (how to do that, how that works, etc.). I didn’t want to anyone to regret putting me in charge of the system (especially because I wanted to be in charge of it!), so I was very intentional about following that up with an “…off the top of my head, but I’ll look into it and get back to you.” It turned out to be a great way to motivate myself to learn more about the ins and outs of the system – and keep my responsibilities, haha.
Ahh, good for you that you caught that right away and changed what you were saying!
It honestly sounds like semantics to me. Saying “I don’t know how to do that” is simply a statement of fact. Its not like you are say I won’t do it!
I think that’s exactly what it is. I thought it was funny, because they said “You always figure it out!” So yeah, they are just asking me to change what I say.