Comments (18)

By kilax, November 6, 2008 5:03 pm

I keep little serving size containers of snacks in my drawer at work. It’s mostly carbohydrates – triscuits, barbara’s bakery shredded oats, pretzels, sometimes a granola bar or animal crackers. The idea is that these snacks are there to supplement my hunger if I need them in the afternoon. I try to eat fruit, vegetables, and sometimes dairy products before I resort to these snacks so I don’t overload on carbs.

I’m finding it is both beneficial and harmful to always have a snack there.

It’s beneficial because I am always prepared – if I am unexpectedly hungry, I know I have something small and somewhat healthy that will tide me over until I get home for dinner. I don’t have to leave my office in search for a “healthy snack.” Sometimes, that is hard to find!

It’s harmful because I know the snacks are always there. Sometimes, I will start thinking about a snack, when I am not even hungry, and my mouth will start watering. It’s really hard then, to tell myself “no,” when I want it so badly.

I’ve tried only bringing one snack at a time, but that always turns out to be the day I am hungry for more. And it’s more convenient to bring a bunch of them in at once so I don’t have to carry one every day.

I’ve been really stressed out lately. Stressed out about things I don’t want to discuss here, right now.

Yesterday, around 4:00 pm, all of the stress got to me. I was trying to prepare for a meeting and was having a hard time getting the documents I needed from someone. I started eating my snacks. One by one, until they were all gone, and I had reached my day’s goal of calorie intake! I wasn’t eating the snacks mindfully, I was shoveling and barely chewing.

After I was done with my snacks, I felt the urge to keep snacking. I was worried and scared. I hadn’t felt that urge in a long time – the urge to stuff my face until I got sick of it. I used to have that urge everyday! I wondered if something was changing in me – if all of my good eating habits were going down the drain.

I went downstairs to our building’s convenience store, searching for something to munch on. I knew, in my mind, that I was just frustrated and stressed out. I thought about the emotional eating book, and the fact that I was just trying to brush aside those feelings and focus on something soothing.

But I didn’t care. So I kept searching for something to eat, and finally settled on a package of pop tarts. Do you know how many calories are in a package of pop tarts? At least 400! I even thought about that, but still took the package back to my office.

Then, I got back to my desk. And put the pop tarts in my drawer. And thought about how I wanted to eat dinner with Steven and exercise afterward. And how I was going to feel really crappy if I ate those stupid pop tarts.

I decided not to eat them. Before I left, I put them in the kitchen for someone else to have.

So why is this story so long and drawn out and even worth telling? Because it is a BIG DEAL that I did not eat those pop tarts, and fall into one of my binge eating patterns. I think if I would have eaten them, I would have had something else to eat on the train, then snacked on some stuff at home before Steven got there, then had dinner with him, then snacked some more afterward.

Usually, I can’t stop once I start. But this time I did.

And I don’t think this stress is going to go away, so I have to remember I have the power to say “no” to mindless eating. I know this may sound silly and dumb for those of you who do not struggle with this, but mindless eating has always been a huge problem for me.

Do you keep snacks at work? Do you find it beneficial or harmful? Do you “mindlessly” eat them?

Comments (11)

By kilax, November 5, 2008 5:37 am

A bad runner’s habit of mine is skipping the post-race awards ceremony. I’ve only stayed once – the time my mom, sister and aunt came to watch us. And I am not sure what made us stay then.

As soon as I finished running this past Sunday, I was ready to go home. I felt really sick. And I didn’t think my time was that good. And I was a bit disappointed in myself. Just a bit.

I searched the internet tonight to find Steven’s score for him… and found out that I placed first in my age bracket (AND that 16 seconds got added on to my score?!?!). First out of two people, but first nonetheless.

Guess I should have stuck around to hear my name called for once.

I need to make more of an effort to stick around just to cheer others on, and participate in the running community. It’s time to be less selfish about running… I do it for my health, but it’s not just about me when I am at a race!

Dammit. I feel stupid.

Comments (17)

By kilax, November 4, 2008 4:47 am

Data looked particularly mopish last evening while Steven and I were using our computers, so I asked (okay, told, I was being bossy) Steven to get a new toy out for Data to play with.

Steven grabbed the little box we keep Data’s toy collection in out of the linen closet. He sat down with it on the floor and Data rushed over. I walked over to see what he had in stock. Lots of plastic balls, catnip, felt mice and one lone feather.

I grabbed the feather and bent over to run it in circles around Data on the floor. He chased it over and over again, until I stopped and stood up, then pulled it up my leg to try to get him to jump up on me and grab it.

“Look at how big your thighs are!” Steven said.

I stopped. And looked at him. And thought. I do have bad hearing, so I sometimes don’t know what Steven is saying. And I don’t always ask him to repeat himself, because that is annoying, and I can usually figure out what he said if I think about it a bit. But I had to ask this time.

“What did you say?” I asked a bit cautiously.

He looked at me and repeated, “Look at how big his eyes are.”

Comments (15)

By kilax, November 3, 2008 5:19 am

A few months ago, I decided it was time to quit chewing my nails for good. I’ve gone through many phases of not chewing my nails – it never lasts very long though. I end up get stressed out at work, usually on a Monday afternoon, and chew every single one off. Sometimes, I would just go into the bathroom, take the clippers out, and cut all my fingernails there so my coworkers won’t be annoyed by that biting noise (because it really, really annoys me!).

What was different this last time? Really, it’s a mix between an appearance and work-related thing. I don’t like the look of short, stubby, bleeding fingernails (duh), but I also do a lot of pointing and explaining at work. I print out a plan, section, elevation, whatever, and say – “This is where such and such will be” or “This is how I imagine this will work.” If someone was presenting something to me, and had those nasty fingernails like I used to, I would be distracted!

This time, to get myself to stop, I just painted my nails in one of my standby OPI shades – No Bees Please, from the GardenParty collection. I only put on two coats, and it turns into a nice, natural, sheer pink. Every time I looked down at my nails, and saw that pretty shade, I thought about how nice it looked, and how much nicer it would look if I would quit chewing them.

A friend introduced me to the OPI nail polish brand quite a few years ago, and I have been hooked ever since. Their polish is the highest quality I have ever used. It seems to always go on smooth, and does not chip for a long time (sometimes 5 days or more!).

I usually do stick to sheer shades, but have been branching out more lately to try some darker ones – see Crêpes Suzi-ette and Eiffel For This Color, above (along with two other sheers I like).

I always paint my nails at home though. I got a manicure ONCE. On a whim. At one of those “college-salons” where people go to learn how to cut hair and poor college students go to get their hair cut. The girl who did my nails did SUCH AN AWFUL JOB, that I picked the nail polish off as soon as I got away from her, and stopped at a store on the way home to buy those travel nail-polish remover pads. (She didn’t let the base dry and put it on WAY too thick. Duh.)

That turned me off manicures. Of course, I realize that was just her, and not all are that bad. But if I can do a decent job at home, I just do it there.

It’s easy with sheer colors, but the dark ones are different. Mistakes are more noticeable! You really have to devote the time and patience to putting on the dark colors at home. Below are a few tips I read in the November InStyle about wearing dark polish:

• Keep Them Short: Trimming the nails to 1/4″ past the fingertip keeps them looking more modern. You’ll be able to tell if it looks a little… vamp! Time to trim!
• Be Well Rounded: Have you heard of the “squoval”? That is the shape salons recommend for nails – a rounded off square (hence, squoval). Straight hard edges look a little – straight and hard and uptight!’
• Take Your Time: Set aside an hour – dark shades dry slowly. I like to read blogs or type while mine dry!
• Stay Smooth: Moisturize and take care of those cuticles!

And my advice? This is only from experience of mistakes I’ve made.

• Use a Base Coat: Dark polishes STAIN your nails. Use a base coat so it won’t be as difficult to remove the polish, and you won’t have funny colored nude nails!
• Try One Coat: After the base, apply one coat. It may be enough! These dark colors put a lot in on one coat, unlike a sheer, where you have to apply a few shades.
• Add a Clear Top Coat: If you do go with one coat, think about adding a clear top coat for a bit of shine and to protect your nails.

And two general tips:

• Buff Your Nails: Use a 4-way buffer stick. They work wonders and smooth our your nails beautifully. AND add shine!
• Know the Return Policy: If you are spending $8.50 on a bottle of OPI nail polish, make sure you can return it. Ideally, you can use those little fake nails thing in the store to see if the color will work on you, but they might not have them. I really thought Tickle My France-y was going to look great on me, but it didn’t. I gave it to a friend who thought it would look nice on her, and it didn’t (who does this polish look nice on?!). A friend told me I could return it at Ulta. Phew. They’re not all meant to be!

Any advice/favorite brands to share with me? What polish are you wearing these days, if any?

Comments (13)

By kilax, November 2, 2008 12:10 pm

5K #3 – The Red Ribbon Race in Lake Forest, IL.

This race supports LEAD (Linking Efforts Against Drugs) – a local area “organization dedicated to parents and other adults and their role in the promotion of healthy family relationships and the prevention of alcohol and other drug use and risky behavior by youth.”

Our sweaty “after race” faces!

I just realized I never tell you guys what the races we run are actually benefiting. Honestly – and this is going to sound really, really bad – I usually run them to benefit me, and my health. The fact that my entry fee goes to support something else is basically a plus. There have been a few races that support causes I really wanted to run, but haven’t worked out with my schedule.

There is one race that I am really excited about though – the wondergirl 5K sponsored by Girls on the Run, on November 15 in Bridgeview, IL. This organization supports running for girls. Check out this description from their website:

The bi-annual WonderGirl 5k is the culmination of the Girls on the Run-Chicago 10-week season each spring and fall. More than 1000 young girls aged 8-13 will celebrate their “girl power” by running 3.1 miles together with their parents, teachers, and community members.

Girls on the Run-Chicago is a non-profit after school program for 3rd through 8th grade girls. We use running to help prepare girls for a lifetime of self respect and healthy living. The character-building program focuses on building self-esteem, confidence and improving physical and emotional health. Over the course of a 12-week season our volunteer coaches teach life-skills lesson such as handling bullies, dealing with body image and the media, making healthy decisions and contributing to the community. Along the way, the girls train together to run in a 5k (3.1 mile) run, the WonderGirl 5k.

I read about this in a magazine and wanted to look up when the organization was racing in Chicago, and forgot about it until today – there was a flier for it in our race packet! The race sounds like it will be crazy, but a lot of fun. I love the idea of running a race that supports a group like this. If I had a daughter (or a son!), I like to think we would run it together. I am wondering if I can convince a fellow blogger to run this with me… (yeah, diane, I am talking to you! Maybe we can convince Tori to join us?)

I’m surprised I am even thinking about another 5K right now. Today’s was not so great for me. Steven did very well. He finished in under 26:00 minutes. We will have to look up his time when the scores go up this week (can you believe he didn’t look when he crossed the line?!). I finished at 27:04, 4 seconds slower than last time.

We did a great first mile – an 8-minute mile! I kept repeating in my head “You feel good. You feel good. You feel good.” And I generally did feel good, I just can’t figure out my breathing lately.

About half way through, I started to get a really bad stomach pain, like I was going to throw up. “You feel good” turned into “Keep running, you can do this!” and “Ignore the pain.” I didn’t have the watery taste in my mouth (that one you get before throwing up), but my stomach just didn’t feel right.

Steven went ahead of me (obviously) and I am happy he did. I could see him up ahead and I was thinking about how proud I was of him for running so hard. It didn’t bother me that we split. I don’t think we would split up on a longer race, but on a 5K it’s no big deal.

I sprinted the last .1 mile to try to beat my last time, but it just didn’t happen. Oh well. Now I just want to figure out why I have this stomach pain. My stomach still hurts right now, as I am typing.

If you want my body and you think I’m sexy… JUST KIDDING!

I don’t think the pain is any big deal. I just want to figure my body out – what to eat before a race, how to breathe, how to pace myself. Blah blah blah. I signed us up for a subscription to Runner’s World. There are a lot of good tips in there. I think I will be doing a lot of searching on the internet too.

Comments (15)

By kilax, November 1, 2008 7:04 pm

I actually have good news about my goal to eat slower.

I’ve been consciously putting my fork down between bites, chewing slowly and thoughtfully, and waiting to pick up the fork and get a small bite AFTER my mouth is empty.

And it’s been working! I’ve noticed my meals are lasting longer, and I feel full sooner.

I didn’t realize it until I started working on this, but I had been basically shoveling food into my mouth. Now, when I reach for more food, I actually stop myself and wait until I am done chewing. It sounds dumb, but it is really helping.

The other day, Steven finished his meal at Subway before me. This never happens. But this time, I was eating slow and really talking a lot.

So Steven is sitting there, waiting for me to finish and says, “Is there a speed somewhere between fast and… that?”

Ha ha.

Remember my other goal, actually, goals, from the beginning of the month? Let’s revisit them. I’ll cross out the ones that I accomplished:

• I posted here every day That kind of happened
• I finished drawing the sketch of a friend’s home based on measurements I took in… June – I didn’t do this, and still feel guilty
• I actually opened the LEED book I borrowed from my father-in-law last winter and READ it
• I gave Steven the photoshop lessons I’ve been promising him – guilty about this too
• I wrote a letter to my friend Rixa, who lives in Rome – working on this today!
• I finally visited my new nephew! (We plan on it)
• I ran another 5k (with Steven)
• I got rid of some of the jiggle in my butt and thighs – But not through toning, just through exercise
  
• I lost ten pounds

So I guess writing goals down may or may not be an effective method for me!