Comments (54)

By kilax, January 11, 2010 5:06 am

I feel like I am having a bit of a blogger identity crisis.

I am passionate about what I am writing, and I really enjoy writing, receiving comments and interacting with all of you. It’s so fun. And I like the style I’ve developed and the blogging schedule I am following.

But… I have this itching feeling that I could be more personal here. I just worry about doing that without comprising my “in real life” relationships.

I suppose most bloggers struggle with this.

Have you ever felt like you were having a blogger identity crisis?

Maybe I will work on a “FAQ” page or update my About page in the meantime. Do you have any questions for me? Is there anything you would like to know about me? Me, me, me, me, me. It felt weird asking you guys that. But I have always wondered!

I have a non-traditional giveaway for you. It is more of a “pay it forward” giveaway, but I didn’t just want to say “whoever comments first gets it!” So I will do a traditional giveaway and draw a name.

Have you heard of the book Such a Pretty Fat by Jen Lancaster? The book is about Lancaster’s weight loss journey (warning: if you have/had an eating disorder, this book may be triggering). She tells her story with a sense of humor and does not apologize for who she is. And bonus! The story is set in Chicago. Leah wrote about the book a few weeks ago, saying how much it made her laugh, and I thought, “Jeez, instead of letting this book sit on my shelf never to be read again, I should pass it on!”

So, I decided to. Let me know if you like this idea, because I used to have a book purchasing problem and could probably find a few more to pass on!

If you are interesting in having my meticulously well taken care of copy of Such a Pretty Fat, you’ll be excited to find out there are three entry possibilities! And, I decided to throw in some LastLine bookmarks for fun!

Contest Rules:

1. To enter the contest, simply leave a comment below recommending a fiction or non-fiction book to me.
2. To get an extra entry, link to the giveaway in your blog, and leave me another comment linking to your post.
3. And for the bonus extra entry, related to the first half of this post, leave me another comment below telling me something you like or dislike about this blog. Example? I dislike how RIDICULOUSLY long my posts have been lately. (And while I do write for me, but would love some feedback.)
4. This contest is open until 5:00 PM CST on Sunday, January 17th. I will probably use the old “name out of a hat” drawing to select a winner on Sunday evening. I will announce the winner on Monday, January 18th.
5. This contest is open to readers everywhere.

Comments (17)

By kilax, December 8, 2009 5:32 am

Do you ever get it in your mind that you ABSOLUTELY have to do something, and that is all you can think about, obsessively, until you’ve done it?

This is not necessarily a good thing. It’s compulsive.

com-pul-sion: Psychology. a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one’s will.

If my photo were next to a definition in the dictionary, I fear it would be that one. I sometimes think compulsion is the cause of many of my actions. A few examples:

• When I found out Foer was speaking in Chicago, it was all I could think about for hours while I figured out the logistics. I was stressed out about it at work, when I should have been focused.
• I missed 1.5 miles of my Thursday run and thought obsessively about fitting it in last Friday, when really, I needed to rest my legs*. I didn’t run the 1.5 miles, thankfully.
• This post. I wrote it on my exercise sheet while I was doing my strength routine last Friday. It was all I could think about. Even when writing it (last night on the airplane) I closed the lid of my computer for take-off, but thought of something to write and had to open it back up.
• I had it in my mind that I was going to make certain dishes for my family when they visited. Apparently my mother had a few dishes in mind too? (Hence the Similarities and Differences post – I think we are both like this.)
• I couldn’t get it out of my mind that I had to get our holiday tree last weekend before “all the good ones were gone.” Luckily, Steven humored me on this one and we picked out our tree on Saturday (free delivery to the house on Sunday!).
• I won’t even go into how this affects my relationship with food!

What is all of this about? Why do I obsessively think and plan things? I sometimes think it is because I am afraid of missing out on events and afraid of forgetting thoughts I have. AND, I just get so excited and pumped about things, I want to get them out there while they are fresh!

But it makes it hard for me to focus. I have all of these thoughts swirling around in my brain. I feel like I have to get certain things done right away. I am agitated if I don’t.

Part of me enjoys the rush that I create for myself. The realistic part of me knows it’s a problem.

I’m hoping someone can relate? It’s one of those things where I feel like “Boo-hoo, I’m the only one” but I can’t be… right?

(Note, while I was finishing writing this, I got another blog idea in my head and had to open a new tab to start typing that out).

*Related, have you read the article titled “Your Better Half” in the January 2010 issue of Runner’s World? Great article. It’s about turning your inner critic into your biggest fan. I paid close attention to the little part about taking a day off when you don’t want to.

Comments (17)

By kilax, April 8, 2009 6:37 am

I don’t understand me lately. I feel like my emotions and thoughts are out of my control or something. I don’t feel like they are bad, just that they move forward without me. Like my brain won’t shut off.

I’ve been writing, passionately. I have all of these post sitting in my queue, just waiting to be posted.

But I am going to take a “quiet day.”

I think I need to start reviewing before I hit “publish.” I am letting myself get overwhelmed and too caught up in things.

If I keep “going going going” like this, I am going to end up crashing and getting sick again.

Comments (13)

By kilax, February 3, 2009 5:50 pm

I had a post scheduled for tonight and I took it down at the last minute. It’s the first time I’ve ever done that.

The post was poorly written, and in effect, I think some of the responses would have frustrated me.

All I do is work and run. So… just imagine there’s a post here tonight about either of those topics. Thanks.