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By kilax, February 6, 2009 6:42 am

What is your opinion on wearing a uniform to work or school? Would you be upset if you had to wear one, or happy?

Last week, I was discussing work attire with two coworkers, and one of them asked me what the dress code was at Steven’s office. I told them that Steven wears a long-sleeved button-down shirt with the company logo and his name on it almost everyday, every week.

They were very excited about this.

“Wow, that sounds great! I would love to wear a company shirt and a pair of khakis each day!”

“It would be so much easier!”

I thought about it, and although it would be easier and save time, I think I might miss wearing “my own” clothes after awhile. I don’t have great style or anything, but it might get old to see everyone wearing the same thing, day after day.

Now that I think about it, this question should be asked directly to my dad, who is a mechanic, and wears those blue Dickies almost 365 days a year, and has as long as I can remember.

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By kilax, February 5, 2009 5:37 pm

It felt good today, to meet a friend in a similar profession for lunch, and tell her exactly what I do in my new job, and how much I like it. I told her passionately, without hesitation – something I haven’t been doing much of lately.

A lot of people have preconceived thoughts in their head about what it means to work for the federal government. A lot of people also have preconceived thoughts in their head about what I should be doing with my architecture degree.

Please stop judging me. Please let me be. I think I will figure this out on my own.

I hate that I feel afraid to talk about my job, because of other people’s judgment. I’m sorry I’m not being more specific – I think that would be inappropriate. Let me just say, I thank you all for the support you’ve given me.

Comments (13)

By kilax, February 3, 2009 5:50 pm

I had a post scheduled for tonight and I took it down at the last minute. It’s the first time I’ve ever done that.

The post was poorly written, and in effect, I think some of the responses would have frustrated me.

All I do is work and run. So… just imagine there’s a post here tonight about either of those topics. Thanks.

Comments (13)

By kilax, February 2, 2009 5:57 pm

Awhile ago, Steven told me he felt like he needed to start eating more. The half marathon training was making him feel hungry all the time (plus he does weights and about 10 million crunches every night).

I was a bit behind Steven in the training, so I was kind of like, “Uh huh, use that as an excuse to eat more. Sure.” I mean, why would running more make you more hungry? That just doesn’t make any sense.

Uh… duh, Kim.

Now I am putting in around 16 miles a week (4 days of running) and a few miscellaneous hours here and there (walking, fencing, wii tennis [ha – can I include that?], etc.) and I am HUNGRY. HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY.

I don’t know why, but I just wasn’t expecting this effect. I thought about how I would have to eat healthy, to fuel my body, but I didn’t think my body would respond by demanding more fuel. I guess it all makes sense though.

It feels really good to eat healthy food all day, then have a long run at night. When I am eating healthy, with fueling my body in mind, it doesn’t feel like work. It doesn’t feel like I am being forced to do it. It just feels good – it feels like the right thing to do. It’s the thing I WANT to do.

Will this half marathon training actually make me have a healthy relationship with food? Is that even possible?

I’ve just noticed that I seem to be less worried about how much I eat, since I am running so much, and actually feel hungry. I feel less guilty, having a treat on a rest day, because I know I will work it off. I feel like I deserve it!

Of course, I must admit that my competitive streak did kick in just a tiny bit on the work Biggest Loser Challenge. More about that tomorrow, but I do realize I need to be careful. I want to lose weight, but I don’t want to be so weak I can’t walk up a flight of stairs – I’ve exercised/eaten so little before that I’ve been in that situation, and it’s awful.

That’s not my intent. When I say I am hungry, it means I am eating more, and enjoying it!

So… we’ll see where all of this goes. I am only 6 weeks into my training. I have 10 weeks of training left – and I will be running quite a bit more during those last 6 or so weeks. Maybe the hunger will go away as my body gets used to running so much. Or maybe I will just have to keep eating more. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as my body continues to adapt if I end up putting in less miles per week after the half marathon.

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By kilax, January 22, 2009 5:55 pm

For a few weeks in December, I worked in the same building as Barack Obama. The office I work for was actually in charge of his transition! Of course, I wasn’t one of the lucky people that got to meet him (My mom kept saying to me, “If you run into him, tell him I said hi!” To which I responded, “Mom. You voted Republican.” Her response: “That’s okay! Tell him hello anyway!” Ha.).

Today we were allowed to tour his transition office. I felt kind of dorky going up there, but knew I would regret it if I didn’t.

His office layout is very similar to the layout of the floor I work on. Actually, the only difference is the color of the chairs and columns, and a few different office configurations. It was exciting though, to know which office was Obama’s, his wife’s, Biden’s, Jarrett’s, Emanuel’s, etc.

I’m not sure if this guy is moving in now or what. I think that most of the excitement is in the past now though.

Me at Obama’s old desk

Obama’s conference room

Obama’s private bathroom… built just for him!

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By kilax, January 21, 2009 5:57 pm

Last November, when I was offered a new job, I decided to ask my boss out for “coffee” (I don’t drink coffee) to discuss the situation. I wanted to give him a heads up of what was going on, as well as ask his opinion on what I should do. I felt like he was a mentor, as well as a boss, and his opinion was (still is) highly important to me.

Of course… he thought I shouldn’t take it, that I would hate it, and it would ruin my career. Oh well. You’ll have that.

Anyway, we started to discuss my performance in the office. He had a lot of very nice things to say about me, but did mention one thing that bothered him – that I didn’t seem to be doing much research on my own about our profession outside of the office. That I wasn’t reading the trade magazines or coming up to him saying, “Did you read about that project at such and such location? What did you think about the glazing system they used? Blah blah blah.”

He was/is right. I’ve received an issue of Architectural Record every month since I’ve graduated. I never finish reading an issue. Sometimes, I don’t even open it! And I feel kind of guilty. And I feel kind of… not guilty.

I was so burned out at that job that I didn’t feel like devoting any extra time to personal, self-enriching career-related research. I often worked through my lunch break so that I would only have to work an 9-hour day. The last thing I wanted to do was spend what little free time I had thinking about work-related topics.

I kind of asked him when he expected me to be doing this research… because if he wanted me to sit around at work looking at trade magazines and websites, I would be more than happy to. But that wasn’t the case. I explained to him that I got home around 7:30 each night, ate dinner, exercised then went to bed. And yes, I do spend almost 3 hours on the train, but a lot of the time I am sleeping, because I only get 6 hours of sleep a night. So… wah. Wah wah wah.

I didn’t say it to him, but the thing is, I don’t want my career to define who I am. I want it to be a part of me, and I want to discuss it with people, and I want to love what I do (which I DO), but I don’t want to be… THAT architect. The one who lives for architecture. The one who devotes ALL OF THEIR TIME to being an architect. That’s just not me. I have too many other interests in my life that I want to devote my time to: travel, running, bowling, volunteering, restoring the Datsun (are you reading, Steven?), spending time with family and friends… you get the idea.

The funny thing is, now that I have a new job, and don’t feel so overwhelmed all the time, I think I COULD find time to read those trade magazines. And maybe I will.

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By kilax, January 20, 2009 1:01 pm

Someone in my office is organizing a 12-week biggest loser (weight loss) challenge. You buy in for $12.  You weigh in each week by Wednesday afternoon (I’ll weigh in on Tuesdays). You pay $2 for each pound gained a week, and $2 if you miss a weigh-in without advance warning. To buy out of the competition, you have to pay out $2 for each week remaining. The cash prize is split between the top 3 losers in the end (55%, 25% and 20% – the winner is calculated by percentage lost, not total pounds).

This has “bad idea” written ALL over it, right?

Of course, I signed up.

I don’t think the idea of winning money will motivate me to lose weight. Or the idea of having to pay money for weight gained. And I don’t even think having someone holding me accountable will make me work any harder either. It might make me feel guilty if I gain weight, but that’s about it.

I think I just thought, “What the hell – I am training for a half marathon and pretty soon I will be putting in between 20-25 miles a week on the treadmill. I might end up losing some weight naturally.” We’ll see what comes of that.

Would you participate in something like this? It seems a bit too private to take to work, but because I’ve just started at this office, and barely know anyone, I don’t care if one person knows what my weight is from week to week.

Revealing it on this blog though, feels impossible. It’s not that I am embarrassed by it; it’s just information I would prefer not to share with family. They already know enough about me and my food struggles as it is, reading this crap. I feel like a number makes my problems even more tangible.

Comments (14)

By kilax, January 6, 2009 12:23 pm

I’ve somewhat stayed in touch with my coworkers from Italy (I worked there summer ’06). Somewhat, as in, every once in awhile, one of us sends out an email. And, every once in awhile, as in, every six months…

So I was excited when a French coworker contacted me last week saying she was trying to find me on facebook. I know if we are facebook “friends,” our chances of keeping in touch with increase dramatically, because that is what a lot of people prefer over email.

I was looking through her photos and saw a group photo of all of our coworkers at the studio. I looked to see if I was in the photo.

Then I didn’t see myself and felt kind of sad.

Sad because it reminded me how antisocial I was that summer. I was friendly and talkative at work, but I didn’t spend a lot of time hanging out with friends after work.

Okay, I hardly spent ANY time hanging out with friends after work. There were only two occasions I went out with them – for my birthday dinner, and a night in August before we all departed for holidays (because the studio closed for two weeks in August).

My birthday dinner with coworkers in Roma. What a fattie I was! Ha! I miss that Italian bread!

I didn’t regret it then, or feel left out, or lonely. I was volunteering every night. I was super busy and super tired.

But now I look back at her photo, with a bunch of people smiling and having a good time, and I do feel left out. I feel stupid for being so independent.

I feel sad that I don’t have a large group of friends – now or then (or even before then). I feel sad that I don’t connect with people very well.

I like to think that I am outgoing and fun to be around, but I find myself at parties, keeping to myself, not feeling like talking to new people. I sometimes find myself being quiet around people I DO know (only sometimes, but still).

Lately, I’ve been quiet when a group of people are talking about something I know nothing about. And they keep talking and talking about it. Like gossip. Or a tv show I don’t watch. Or how drunk they were the night before. I try to stay interested, and involved, because I would expect them to do the same, but hey, they don’t! So, I just get more turned off and discouraged from reaching out to people.

Oops. I didn’t mean for this to turn into another rant. I just wanted to express how seeing that photo made me feel. It’s weirding me out that it made me feel this way.

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By kilax, December 17, 2008 5:36 am

I have a cubicle at my new office. It has a u-shaped work surface, tackable privacy panels, a lockable wardrobe, 2 pedestals, and filing cabinet.

I love it.

At my old office, we had an open work area – just long rows of desks. No dividers. No privacy. I didn’t mind it, but having a cubicle is a pretty big change for me, so I am using that as justification to write about how much I like it now.

I am all about personalization. I don’t want to go overboard, but I want to have a bit of personality in my workstation. At my old office, I was the only person who had photos on my desk (a digital photo frame). It wasn’t prohibited – I just think the open desks didn’t particularly lend themselves to that sort of… clutter.

Now, I have my digital photo frame out, a few photos on magnets, and some cute desk organizers. That’s it. It’s fun and simple and makes my desk feel more personal. And my workstation is big enough that I have space for these things.

I enjoy seeing what other people have in their cubicles – sports paraphernalia, family photos, architectural photos, fun magnets, holiday decorations, and so on. It’s a good way to start a conversation, and I think it livens up the space a bit.

Do you have anything personal on your desk at work? Or do you think it just lends itself to being clutter and a distraction?

Comments (16)

By kilax, December 11, 2008 8:27 pm

It’s really weird, starting a new job as Mrs. “Steven’s Last Name.” In fact, I haven’t become fully accustomed to it yet. As my new supervisor was introducing me to people on Monday, I just introduced myself as “Kim.” Only when they asked for my last name did I give it, after thinking about it for a split second. (It’s necessary to know the last name of the “Kims” – there are 4 or 5 others on my floor!)

I didn’t exclude Steven’s last name out of insult… I just really haven’t gotten used to it yet (well, obviously, if I am still calling it “his last name”). We got married in September of 2007, but I didn’t change my name until October of 2008. For various reasons. So, it’s a recent development.

Now it is almost 100% changed. The passport and a few various subscriptions and rewards cards remain. Ilax is now my middle name. Goodbye, Marie. (Sorry, mom)

So, having a “new” last name kind of adds to the fun of starting a new job. Because starting a new job is kind of like a chance to start over. You can be whoever you want! You can leave behind your bitchy ways (unlikely), be less of a goober (very unlikely),  quit it with the potty mouth (I’m trying!), work harder (not a problem, heh), be more social (also not a problem, HA!), etc. You get the idea.

I like that having a new last name means NO ONE from work knows about my website. If you search for my first name and Steven’s last name, it takes a long time to get to me. And the first correct hits are my 5K results. Ha! Anyone is welcome to see those! There is one post I wrote that reveals my last name, but I made it private.

Why do I desire to remove my “new” last name from public search? So that I can start to be a bit more candid here. I don’t plan to bash people I work with. In fact, I don’t plan to write about work at all.* I just want to be able to say I feel upset about things, like my problems with food, and not worry that my boss read it and thinks I’m a super weird-o. It’s a relief.

You know, it’s hard not to tell people about your blog. When they say “You ran a 5K as Santa? Are there any pics?” You want to say, “Yeah, go to www.ilaxstudio.com!” But, I won’t be saying THAT anymore. I’ll get used to it. It will be worth it.

So far, I am having a lot of fun my first week at work (hmm… is it a good thing to say you are having “fun” at work?!). My old office had 15 people on a full day, but the floor I work on now has almost 100 people. And we have at least 3 other floors in my building. It’s really fun to meet new people, share your interests, and discover their personalities.

I am in a training group, so there are a lot of social activities. Also, with it being the holidays, we have a lot of social events going on – 3 parties next week! And I even volunteered to help bartend at one. I also volunteered to help load the “letters-to-santa” gifts into the cars for delivery tomorrow. Yes, I like to get involved.

I can tell I am going to like the work, and the complexity of it. And I already know quite a bit about it because my previous employer was a contractor for where I work now (the naked truth comes out!). Of course, it being my first week, I am still filling out paper work and settling in. But I will let you all know how it goes. I really appreciated everyone’s support on Sunday’s post! It made me feel great!

*I work for the government now. Anything mentioned about work is going to be SUPER SUPER SUPER GENERIC. P.S. Did I tell you that I work just a few floors under Mr. President-Elect, Barack Obama?

What is with the two annoying super-long posts in a row? A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G!!!