Just as guilty
Comments (16) Not really sure where this is coming from… but it’s been on my mind for awhile.
Have you ever had someone withhold important information from you, and later found out, either because they finally told you, or you heard it somewhere else*? They aren’t lying, but when you find out, your first reaction almost always ends up being “why didn’t you tell me sooner (or when it happened)?” and you’re not really able to process the information as you naturally would, because you feel somewhat betrayed.
I think part of this may be a personality thing, but it just baffles me, because I have the type of personality where I will talk to almost anyone about almost anything. Not much is taboo with me. As long as the person is non-judgmental, I’m an open book. I like to share.
BUT. I learned something new about myself last year – there are people in my life I don’t feel comfortable sharing my full self with, because of their judgment. It only takes so many ill reactions to teach me to be a different version of myself around certain people. And I find myself doing the thing I most despise – not sharing important details and news, because I don’t want to deal with a reaction to it. Or maybe still presenting the details and news, but in a manner different than I would with someone I feel more comfortable around.
Doing this makes you feel secretive and protective of your personal information. You become defensive of everything you think, say or do. You feel uncomfortable and on edge. Yuck.
So. Could I be any more vague? Basically, I feel really upset when someone feels like they can’t tell me something important, and I often think it is just because they are an inconsiderate person. But here I am, doing it on purpose. I’ve tried to make these instances two separate things in my head, to justify what I am doing, but I can’t. It’s the same thing. It happens so infrequently that I rarely think about it, but it’s still there.
So yeah. I have nothing to say (And I didn’t even get into wanting to share information but having to withhold it because it’s not yours to share. Ugh.).
In this instance, I am talking about your personal life, but I know it happens at work too.
Themocracy