Comments (35)

By kilax, December 24, 2009 6:14 am

We’ve been searching for art for our dining room for a few years, but we’ve struggled to find anything that suits our tastes. And our dining room looks so sad and plain (I apologize for the nasty photo taken with flash).

We knew we wanted three pieces, and possibly a theme that tied together, but we couldn’t find nature scenes that weren’t cheesy or graphic prints that were “us.”

A few weeks ago, I saw some simple graphic prints in the art shop across my office and fell in love. The problem? One print was about $150 each (with frame), and that was after the 50% off discount! I snapped a photo and sent it to Steven, to show him what I had in mind.

And he suggested we buy canvases and do it ourselves! Yes, I was skeptical*. BUT, we bought the canvases this weekend, and Steven painted them on Sunday! And voila! We now have art! We are counting this as our holiday gift to each other, and I couldn’t be happier to finally have something hanging in our dining room. I think they turned out great! (And guess what? Steven used our house paint to paint them! So the colors definitely tie together!)

Do you have art hanging in your home? How did you choose it? Did it take you a long time to find the “perfect” piece(s)?

*Due to my lack of artistic talent, not his.

Comments (32)

By kilax, December 23, 2009 5:58 am

Yesterday was Steven’s birthday, and even though I had to work, I wanted to make the evening as special as I could!

What do you do to make your loved one’s birthday special?

On my train ride into the office, I got off quite a few stops early to go to Steven’s favorite bakery (Deerfields) and pick up some of his favorite donuts for him (yes, the same donuts last year’s donut tower was made out of)! When I got off the train, the conductor said “Leaving so early?” When I told him I was going to the bakery, he said “Deerfields? I LOVE that place! I would hold the train for you if I could.” Ha. What a nice guy. I wish he could have held the train for me! Luckily, the bakery is right by the station, so I walked there (in the snow) and back and caught the next train. I made sure to pick up donuts for two of my coworkers too!

Steven picked me up after work, and we went to Red Robin for dinner. Red Robin is actually my favorite restaurant, but Steven wanted to go there since we hadn’t been for awhile. I love it because they have two different kinds of veggie burgers and BOTTOMLESS Vegan Steak Fries! Of course, the veggie burgers aren’t vegan, so I get the Red’s Rice Bowl without the fried noodles on top. I still love going there because I think it is great that they cater to so many diets. They even have a great tool online for calculating the calories in your meal.

Onion Rings

Red’s Rice Bowl (actually on a plate)

Whiskey River Boca Burger with Fries

Plus, the give you free ice cream on your birthday (after they sing you an obnoxious song of course)! You can’t beat that!

Steven opened his gifts before dinner. I gave him Pictionary, the same lego calendar I got Lauren (it’s so cool!), his favorite Christmas Tree Cakes, and a little monkey (we have an inside joke that he likes monkeys). A few days ago, I told Steven not to go in my closet because I had a small present in there for him that was not wrapped. So during dinner, I said, “Oh no! I just realized I left that unwrapped gift at home! You will have to open it later.” and acted all sad. But it was a trick (more below).

After dinner, we went bowling. Fun fact – we used to be on a league so we both have our own bowling balls and shoes.

I was a bit rusty – it’s been awhile! We bowled three games and Steven’s top score was 190 and mine was 132.

Steven had one of his donuts when we got home.

Is it salmon flavored?

The glorious inside of the donut

After he finished the donut, I gave him the “little gift” that was in my closet – which was really a HUGE gift that I could not have taken to the restaurant.

I got him the weight stand he wanted, and get this, I only paid a fraction of the price it was listed for on amazon! We have a reward program at work, and I used my points to get $80 worth of amazon gift cards to use towards his gift. Score! It felt good to get Steven something I know he really wanted AND needs!

The new weight stand (before, the weights just sat on the floor in this spot)

I hope Steven enjoyed his birthday – I know I enjoyed it!

What what your perfect birthday day be like?

I actually got mine this year– I got to spend the day on the river, relaxing, then eat vegan chocolate cupcakes and cake!

Comments (36)

By kilax, December 17, 2009 5:01 am

Have you ever been worried about the health of a loved one but not been sure on what you could do to help?

I know I’ve been in that situation. And people have probably been in that situation with concern for me. The problem is, I never figured out what to say/do to help.

I was reading Men’s Health* while working out on the bike on Tuesday. In the “Ask the Girl Next Door” section of “Ask Men’s Health” I saw this question:

Q: My wife eats junk food and never exercises, and I’m worried she’s going to balloon when she hits 35. How can I address this without getting my head ripped off?

Um, I would start by NOT using the world balloon. Men’s Health’s answer (remember, this answer is from a woman):

A: First, see if you can help her change her lifestyle without having a direct conversation. Ask her to take a walk with you after work. Hold her hand and ask about her day. Cook dinner more often and assume grocery duties. In fact, do more chores in general – remove a chunk of her daily obligations, and she’ll have more time and energy to spend on herself. If after a few months you still see no change, that’s when you sit her down, hold her tight, and say you’ve noticed that she hasn’t been taking great care of herself. Tell her it worries you on both a health level and, you’re embarrassed to admit, a sexual level. Say it makes you feel shallow and that you hate hurting her feelings, but that it’s something you want to address. Then ask her what’s going through her mind. And this is the most important part: Listen to her answer, and tell her, as many times as it takes, that you’ll always love her and you’re wiling and eager to help make her life easier.

Wow.

So… I thought there as definitely some good advice in there – splitting chores to allow equal free time between spouses, listening to each other’s concerns, working out together…

But damn. The sexual comment? Not being honest about your concerns from the get-go? That doesn’t fly with me. If you are going down that route, you might as well follow this AWFUL list of “10 subtle ways to tell her she’s getting fat.” Yep. It’s awful. Read it if you want to be a little bit pissed off for the rest of the day.

Would these techniques work on you? What would work? Have you ever tried to help someone out with following a healthier lifestyle?

I sometimes have food issues – binge eating and eating too fast. These issues are triggered by being rushed, feeling like things are out of my control, stress, general anxiety, and we can’t forget the last one – boredom. Steven has tried to help me. But I am so defensive about it. I think even if I came up with the perfect thing for him to say, and he said it, I would still find something wrong with the tone of his voice, or his timing. I don’t want to make it a lonely battle, because I am sure I could use support from time to time, but I am just not ready for it.

In the same sense, I don’t think I discuss exercise with him in the way he would prefer. I love to hear about other people’s workouts, so I will ask if he had time to fit one in, and if he didn’t, I think me asking makes him feel bad.

I am not mentioning these two examples because it’s a huge problem for us – it surely isn’t. We support each other by cooking healthy meals, working out together, and discussing our healthy goals. I just want to say that I think it is difficult to help someone else get healthy**, even if you have great communication. It’s so personal. You have to be really comfortable to even talk about it.

*Seems like a great mag, by the way!
**Especially since healthy can mean so many different things to different people.

Comments (31)

By kilax, December 16, 2009 4:17 am

There was an interesting article about bad gift-giving and how it can be straining on marriages this Tuesday in the Wall Street Journal. I found it humorous, but also, disappointingly sexist – both for men and women.

The article gives the classic examples of “bad” gifts given to wives from their husbands – vacuum cleaners, over-sized sleepwear, cooking pots, golf clubs, etc. Those stories are always good for a laugh or two.

But I felt like the whole article made men sound like thoughtless idiots who don’t listen to their wives, think twice about what they are getting them, or care if they are given a “bad” gift. It made women sound like they are overly emotional about receiving a “bad” gift, elusive about what they want, and the perfect gift givers.

Well, I always say “stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason,” but come on*. I know this isn’t true in our relationship. Since we’ve been together (7 years) I have not been able to get Steven the “perfect” holiday** gift. First it was an XBox. Then a printer. Specialty items for the Saab. A nice watch. A Garmin. So on and so forth. Run-of-the-mill things. How do we measure the worth of a gift? By the excitement of the person opening it? By how much they use it? How much they talk about it? If they thank you?

Steven has given me amazing, thoughtful gifts. Probably the most amazing was the first thing he ever gave me – a handmade box for holding my drawing pencils. He made that!

So, I am not anti gift-giving or saying I am awful at giving gifts, but… maybe it’s not all that important, in the long run. Maybe it’s not something worth getting upset about. Maybe we should just be excited when someone was thoughtful and generous enough to get us something. You can tell when it is sincere and from the heart, not matter how good or “bad” it is.

What do you think? Are these gift-giving stereotypes true?

*I would love to see this article include some examples of same-sex relationships as well. I wonder what the gift-giving stereotypes are there.
**Steven, it doesn’t help that your birthday is THREE days before Christmas!

Comments (32)

By kilax, September 1, 2009 5:30 am

Today is our two-year wedding anniversary! Happy anniversary Steveno!

Last week a college friend asked if I felt like my relationship with Steven was any different since we’ve been married. I think she was referring to the way we act around each other. And really, that isn’t any different. We’re still big goobers all the time.

But there were small subtle changes in how I feel. I feel more comfortable, secure and complete. Not comfortable in a “I can wear sweatpants now!” way, but comfortable in a “I have someone who’ll always love me for who I am” way. Not secure in a “I didn’t trust him before” way, but secure in a “We’ll always take care of each other, not matter what” way. Not complete in a sappy “You complete me!” way, but complete in a “I have partner in crime for life!” way.

There is something about knowing you always have someone else to count on that is really comforting and reassuring. It’s a good feeling.

Sappy sappy sappy!

• Photos of the wedding here
• Photo slideshow here
• Awesome photographer’s website here
• Special wedding song here

Comments (15)

By kilax, April 10, 2009 6:51 am

Are you cuddly? Do you like to snuggle?

I’m not opposed to it, but I’m not very good at making it happen. I think I’ve become too comfortable in “my” space. My side of the bed, my side of the couch, etc.

Yet another thing I’d like to work on!

Comments (20)

By kilax, March 27, 2009 8:10 am

Do you “brown-bag” your lunch or a lunch for your kids/family members? How often?

A little blurb in the April issue of Marie Claire made me think about this. They had a little chart that compared the cost of making a sandwich at home, to buying one at Subway. They concluded that the cost was so close ($5.01 vs. $5.59), it might not even be worth the effort to make the sandwich at home.

Hmm.

I bring my lunch to work every day of the week, unless I have a planned lunch date. I usually only have one lunch date a week (with my favorite lunch buddy, diane), but this week, I had THREE lunch dates – one every single day I was at work!

It’s expensive to eat out downtown every day. But some people do. I know people at my old office who did. And I am sure there are people at my new office who do as well. I’d rather have it be a treat, then do it every day. Three days in a row was too much this week.

Comments (19)

By kilax, February 7, 2009 11:10 pm

Steven told me I am becoming known in his office as “the wife who bakes cookies.”

Even though I vowed in November that I never wanted to “bake, see or eat another cookie EVER again,” I’ve probably made cookies at least four times since then – as Christmas gifts, for birthdays, baby showers, now for Valentine’s Day.

It always seems like there are extras for Steven to take into work. Oops. This time, the cookies were a request (sort of) from a coworker/friend. He informed Steven that I could make him sugar cookies for any of his birthdays (?), Valentine’s Day, etc. “You can never have too many sugar cookies.”

Sugar cookies are my favorite to make – probably because I’ve been baking them the longest, and have figured out exactly how to make them. I’ve got the frosting figured out too. I have fun sitting down and decorating them – even though my decorating isn’t the prettiest.

Yum. Cookies. The thing is, I like to make them, but haven’t been eating a lot of them lately. I just like to share. I do have a live-in taste tester though!

Comments (10)

By kilax, December 5, 2007 5:19 am

Wives must never forget this Bible verse, as it is written in the Book of Steven:

If thine husband dost desire pizza during a snowstorm, thou shalt drivest to pick it up after work. Pronto. Snap snap!

Driving in a snowstorm makes me a lot more nervous than it used to. I get in the car and all I can feel is my heart heavily pounding in my chest. I think I have used up all of my “get away free” cards when it comes to accidents in snowy weather… so I would rather just stay inside. Or take public transportation!

The pizza was good though.