Comments (13)

By kilax, October 6, 2008 12:12 pm

You know what has made following a healthy lifestyle SO MUCH EASIER? Having Steven doing it with me, as well as supporting me and encouraging me.

Sometimes you aren’t lucky enough to have a support system. Sometimes the people around you, the ones you live with and would expect to be the most supportive, are condescending and negative. Or downright spiteful, manipulative and intent on sabotaging your plans.

I haven’t dealt with this in an extreme way, but I think all of us who have tried to be healthier have felt resistance from other people at some point in our lives.

We were talking about this this weekend, and it dawned on me how important it is to have a support system. And how lucky I am to have Steven in this with me, but also all of you, who continue to read this drivel and encourage me. Thank you.

It seems silly to only be realizing this now. I mean, how many health magazines articles have I read talking about this? “Exercise with a friend to keep the weight off for good!” “Cook healthy meals, together!” “Share your weight loss plan with family and friends!”

I guess I didn’t realize how lucky I am, because I have grown accustomed to it. Accustomed to Steven making healthy meals, running with me, asking how my weight loss is going, etc. Accustomed to his encouragement.

And only now that I think about it, I realize all of the times I’ve been unsuccessful in weight loss, I’ve been on my own. Yeah, I’ve lost the weight, but did I keep it off? No. I am almost strong enough. But not quite. Maybe some people are.

I think I at least need someone I can talk to about it, without feeling embarrassed.

To have that, and more, I am grateful.

Comments (9)

By kilax, September 24, 2008 12:46 pm

When, if ever, I am going to NOT feel guilty about taking a day off from exercise?

I know. I need to let my body rest. And I know. I should probably do some strength training, and go easy on the cardiovascular.

But I can’t get over the guilt.

Most days, I really crave the exercise. I feel like it completes my day. But every once in awhile, I just want to relax. I don’t want to scarf down my dinner, rush to put on my exercise clothes and race out the door. I want to get home, eat a slow(er) dinner, maybe sit on the couch, play Rock Band, play with Data, actually talk to my husband…

I don’t want to feel guilty for meeting a friend for dinner instead of going home to exercise. I don’t want to feel guilty when we have to run errands on a weeknight, and it’s too late to exercise when we finally get home. I don’t want to stress out about when we are going to get exercise in when we have house guests.

I just want to accept that I did or did not exercise the day before… and get on with my day. And not dwell on it.

With time. Let’s hope, with time.

(Part of me kind of feels like I should apologize for blogging about the same themes… for such an extended period of time in a row. But, I’m not going to, because it makes me feel better to get it out there. I’ll just say – I hope I’m not boring you too much).

Comments (19)

By kilax, September 23, 2008 5:25 pm

Everyone’s bodies are affected differently by weight loss/gain, but I always lose/gain weight in the same area first.

Can you guess what it is?

I’ll give you a hint: I’ve already dropped two sizes there.

From a D to a B.

Yeah.

I didn’t believe the Victoria’s Secret salesperson helping me in the dressing room. She took my measurements, and gleefully said, “Yep, you’re a B!”

I later asked Steven if he heard me scream, “A B?!” from the dressing room. I guess the music was too loud for him to hear me though (that, and he was too busy feeling disturbed by all the teeny-boppers there buying lacy bras and thongs).

I didn’t believe the salesperson. And I was so frustrated at that point (by the ridiculous amount of people there and the nauseating fragrance area), I just grabbed a B-size bra, bought it, and left. I was sure when I got home, it wouldn’t fit, and I would have to take and back and say, “See! I am at least a C!”

Nope. It fit perfectly.

Which means I need to make an investment in some new bras. And hope that I don’t lose any more weight in that area.

Tell me – when you lose (or gain) weight, where do you first see results?

Comments (15)

By kilax, July 14, 2008 10:14 pm

Kyra’s post about weight today really struck a chord with me, mainly the part when she said (wrote?), “Sometimes I feel as though I have had to give myself permission to lose weight.”

For at least three-quarters of the past year, I haven’t really cared about my body. I ate whatever I wanted and put on weight. I just didn’t care. Even when I saw pictures of myself looking awful and unhealthy. Even when Steven tried to help me. I just didn’t have the right attitude. I wasn’t ready to take care of myself.

Then, a few weeks ago, I started eating healthy again, or at least making healthier choices (unfortunately not on the 4th of July weekend, or this weekend, but… I was at least conscious). I’m not exercising again yet, but I can see this all headed that way.

What worries me, is that I have NO IDEA what made me want to change. NO IDEA AT ALL. I gave myself the permission to be healthy, but why?

So while I am trying to take care of myself now, I know that it could all change again.

I just wish I could figure myself out. Because the physical weight is more than physical. It’s beginning to weigh down on me mentally as well.