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By kilax, June 11, 2009 1:07 pm

I have an appointment tonight, as well as guests in town, so I decided to get my run in during lunch, in the office gym. I was really looking forward to it all morning, hoping that it would break up the monotony of the day and get me energized for the afternoon.

But instead of having a carefree, relaxing run like I usually do, I ended up stressing out about work issues and watching the clock the entire time. I had to rush to get 3 miles in, then shower and get ready to go back to my desk (in one hour).

It feels good to have the run out of the way, but it wasn’t the quality I wanted it to be. I didn’t get to de-stress at all.

My marathon training schedule starts next Monday, and I think I am going to have to fit lunch time runs in a couple of times a week. Maybe next time it will be sunny and NOT raining*, so I can get outside and enjoy the run more.

Warning: exercise seems to be one of the only things I feel like writing about right now, so you’ll probably get a lot of that.

*This is June, right?

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By kilax, May 20, 2009 6:39 am

I liked today’s Runner’s World Quote of the Day:

The quote says: Running gives me a sense of controlling my life. I like the finiteness of runs, the fact that I have a clear beginning and end. I set a goal and achieve it. A good run makes you feel sort of holy.

Except for the whole “feeling holy” part (what does that even mean?), I can totally relate to this.

I am someone who struggles with having control in their life. I need structure. I need goals/milestones/guidelines. I can be easy going and go with the flow of things, but I am someone who works best with a PLAN.

Running gives me the opportunity to have long-term goals and plans to achieve them, along with mini daily goals. I DO feel accomplished when I have it in my mind that I am going to run a certain distance/time that day, then I go out and do it. It’s maybe the one thing in my life that is simple enough I CAN control on a daily basis.

My only worry with this is that I am TOO goal-oriented. Honestly, I was feeling a bit lost in my running until I signed up for the Kansas City Marathon. I felt worried that I would “lose” my endurance if I wasn’t following a training plan. Even now, I am keeping up around 20+/- miles a week, but I still feel lost/unstructured, because my official training does not start until 6/15.

And surprisingly, feeling lost in running spilled over into feeling “uneasy” in general. I was really, really anxious until I selected my next goal and developed my next plan. I guess running truly is my balance now.

So, while I think it is good to have plans and goals to follow, because they make me feel like I have some control, I realize that I have some sort of addiction. Steven actually told me he thinks I have compulsive behavior when it comes to running (and other things) – he thinks I set my mind on something, and won’t stop until I achieve it (or something like that – he wasn’t trying to insult me). That can be both good and bad. It would be really good if I could take some of that and apply it to other life goals (oh you know, like getting licensed, blah de blah), but for now, my focus seems to be on running. Which is good… until I become too obsessive. And I don’t feel like I am there yet. Ha!

This is actually not meant to be a post all about running, but about control and goals, and I think it could apply to a lot of different behaviors or activities. Do you feel like there are elements in your life that you feel you have control over, and bring you a sense of accomplishment, or calm?

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By kilax, May 7, 2009 12:25 pm

I had this rant post about my weeklong training all prepared to post today, but… the half marathon pictures came in, so  you are excused from my reading my rant (about immature classmates)! Hurrah! It’s your lucky day!

First, I must say, it is making me ABSOLUTELY CRAZY to let my body rest this week and only do short (3 mile) runs (Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, giving myself tonight off). I am really itching to get a longer run in (6-8 miles) this weekend… and I can’t wait to start marathon training in June!

Okay, on to the photos! All of these were taken by Action Sports International. I knew they would be there, so I made sure to smile every time I saw a cameraman. I tend to run with my mouth open, so I can only imagine how lovely all of the photos would be if I just ran “au natural.”

I put these in chronological order. The only way I could tell what was chronological was by my changing outfit – tissues, then no tissues, then no belt. Ha ha.

Check out all those tissues (again)! Notice the difference in what the two of us are wearing? Steven has on long sleeves, long pants and GLOVES!!! I wished I was wearing a tank. Yeah. I am a super sweaty runner and PROUD of it!

This was right after I went to the bathroom and was still adjusting my hydration belt. Ha ha! I like the “skinny legs” optical illusion going on in this photo!

I remember having my tongue out for this picture! I wondered how it would turn out. No more “skinny legs” optical illusion. That didn’t last long!

Right after I saw my mom and ditched the belt. “I want to break free…”

Approaching the finish line…

… and crossing! Nice bunched up shorts! Hee hee. At least I didn’t chafe at all.

Hey! Steven kind of looks happy! Is that allowed?

This is the first time I’ve participated in a race with professional photos. It’s fun to look at them now, but I am not sure if any of them turned out good enough to order. I kind of like that one of me crossing the finish line, but my shorts are all bunched up. Does anyone ever order these?

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By kilax, May 4, 2009 5:56 am

Everyone in my office has a Blackberry. I think it is a great tool, when used correctly. I especially like using the calendar in it, as well as previewing emails before I get into the office. I was really excited when I got mine, back in December.

That was before I really had any use for it.

Now it just serves as a constant reminder of how many “unread” emails I have (I read them and mark them as unread if there is something I need to act on) and how much work I have to do.

Yesterday I looked at my Blackberry and started saying, “shit shit shit.” My mom was there and of course, wanted to know what I was “shit shit shitting” about. Just work stuff mom…

I am in an all day business training every day this week. I need this training to get a certification in my office, so it is really important that I attend. And I am honestly looking forward at being away from my desk all week.

But… that doesn’t mean my regular job is going to do itself while I am out all week! I was “shit shit shitting” about the emails I received this weekend. They were all regarding things that have to be taken care of this morning, which means I had to get up extra early, to make it into the office at 7:00, before my 8:30 training starts, to get these things done… blah blah blah.

I stressed out about all of this for an hour or so yesterday, then told myself – just get done what you can. I am someone who likes to have everything completed and have a clean slate to start the day. That’s just not possible anymore.

Even though I know that though, I still try.

On a related note, I am going to be super busy this week and probably won’t be reading blogs on my lunch break like I normally am. So… the 700+ unread blog entries in my reader is just going to keep growing! I am sorry I’ve been MIA! I’ll get there! You might just be seeing a ton of comments at once from me!

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By kilax, April 23, 2009 5:32 am

Update: Aron is right – the Chicago Marathon is now closed. Funny thing is – it was open this morning when I checked it. Total bummer. Steven wanted our first full to be local – time to look into Wisconsin!

Earlier this week, a coworker (who is also a runner) asked if I will be excited when the May 2nd Half Marathon is over.

No way! I will be SAD when it’s over! I am having so much fun training. I love being on a schedule. I love having a race to look forward to.

And yes, I am a little bit worried of keeping my mileage up when I am NOT training for something specific. I feel great when I get at least 25 miles in a week.

My guess is, I will spending most of May 3rd convincing Steven to sign up for the Chicago FULL Marathon before it’s too late. (Wait, is it a good idea to give away my reasoning for signing up? Ha ha.)

Related story: On Saturday, after I got my medal, Steven said to me, “That medal is pretty cool. A lot better than a block of cheese.”

Ha ha. Yes, the Kenosha Half Marathon Medals are blocks of cheese:

And… today is the first day that weather.com is showing the forecast for race day. Let the worrying begin! I have absolutely NO faith in weather predictions. But I still look at them, and somewhat plan my life around them. Why? I am not sure.

Looks good so far…

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By kilax, March 1, 2009 8:04 am

Yesterday, I had one of those “why I am doing this?” runs on the treadmill. It’s been such a long time since I’ve had one. The training schedule said I had a 3 mile run, but I wanted to do my Sunday 6-miler a day earlier.

By the 2.5 mile mark, I was feeling exhausted and weak. I needed food. Mentally and physically, I knew I could finish the 6 miles, but I made the mistake of focusing on how weak I felt, and how I was really supposed to do the 6-miler on Sunday, not Saturday. And, I was in some sort of “in-between moods” mood that didn’t feel great. I am usually more excited to get on the treadmill and that fuels me through my run.

So I stopped at 3.5 miles, and felt upset with myself.

Which is ridiculous.

I did the run I was supposed to do. I am still in training. I need to stick with the schedule. But, for some reason, I wanted to push myself further.

This is just all the more reason to make the 6-miler today an awesome one! Update: I ran my 6-miler, and it went well. I remembered the mantra “Run the mile you’re in.” It helps keep me from being daunted by the longer mileage.

Other running news:

• Steven and I are working out some finances, but I think there is a 90% chance we will run the Disney Half Marathon on January 9, 2010!
• Steven ran his first 7-miler yesterday and kicked butt! I am so proud of him. I cannot convey in writing how joyful I am to be able to share my love of running with him.
• We are going to visit Fleet Feet for this first time today for gait analysis and running shoe recommendations. And I am going to get some help picking out a new sports bra! Let me tell you, as the miles add up, you really need a supportive bra. Things start to chafe.
• A Snap Fitness 24/7 has just opened extremely close to our house! Our plans were to buy a bowflex machine for our home, but we may not have space for it. We’re not looking for a gym, but this one is so close, I thought I may look into it. Does anyone have any experience with them?

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By kilax, February 11, 2009 6:47 pm

Besides the running portion of training for the half marathon, there is also a bit of “diet” training. I need to figure out which foods my body prefers to fuel a run, and eat right before a run.

I already know my body prefers a “first thing in the morning” run, preferably on an empty stomach or after a very light meal. But my schedule doesn’t allow that. I have to run in the evenings on week nights . So, I get home, eat dinner, and run 30-60 minutes later.

At first, I was just getting a stomach cramp every night after my post-run shower. But starting last week, I’ve had a different problem.

(This is the part where you stop reading if you don’t want to know about my bowel movements.)

Three times in the last week, I’ve had to stop during a run and sprint (ha ha) to the bathroom… to poo. You know that uncomfortable feeling, like “I have to go right now“? That is the feeling I had – an awful, sudden cramp that had to be answered immediately.

I attributed the first two times to the fact that I had eaten some of my favorite Valentine’s Day treat the day before. I liked the treat – my body didn’t. I threw them away. One of those runs was a week night one, and one was a weekend, so I didn’t think it was from eating too close to running.

The third time though – last night – didn’t make ANY sense. I’ve been eating healthy for quite a few days before the run, but it still happened.

I did some internet research (you can imagine how fun THAT was), and this is the best article I came up with. It advises to:

• Cut dairy out of your diet
• Reduce your fiber intake
• Don’t eat anything with sweeteners ending in “ol” (sorbitol, mannitol, etc.)
• Avoid cruciferous vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower
• Empty your system before a run
• Eat big meals at least 3 hours before a run

I suspected the first item. Dairy and I have been enemies for quite some time now. And I’ve been having a cheese stick once a day. Goodbye dairy, except for that occasional Chile Relleno that is no where near a running day.

I should be able to follow all of these items, except the fourth and sixth. I gotta eat my steamed broccoli. I love it. And 3 hours? Ha!

I am going to try these things and see how it goes. Apparently, all that bouncing and giggling of your intestines speeds up your need to use the bathroom no matter what, so I may not have any luck.

I’m not afraid to “go” outside if I have to – I’ll do what I gotta do!

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By kilax, February 2, 2009 5:57 pm

Awhile ago, Steven told me he felt like he needed to start eating more. The half marathon training was making him feel hungry all the time (plus he does weights and about 10 million crunches every night).

I was a bit behind Steven in the training, so I was kind of like, “Uh huh, use that as an excuse to eat more. Sure.” I mean, why would running more make you more hungry? That just doesn’t make any sense.

Uh… duh, Kim.

Now I am putting in around 16 miles a week (4 days of running) and a few miscellaneous hours here and there (walking, fencing, wii tennis [ha – can I include that?], etc.) and I am HUNGRY. HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY.

I don’t know why, but I just wasn’t expecting this effect. I thought about how I would have to eat healthy, to fuel my body, but I didn’t think my body would respond by demanding more fuel. I guess it all makes sense though.

It feels really good to eat healthy food all day, then have a long run at night. When I am eating healthy, with fueling my body in mind, it doesn’t feel like work. It doesn’t feel like I am being forced to do it. It just feels good – it feels like the right thing to do. It’s the thing I WANT to do.

Will this half marathon training actually make me have a healthy relationship with food? Is that even possible?

I’ve just noticed that I seem to be less worried about how much I eat, since I am running so much, and actually feel hungry. I feel less guilty, having a treat on a rest day, because I know I will work it off. I feel like I deserve it!

Of course, I must admit that my competitive streak did kick in just a tiny bit on the work Biggest Loser Challenge. More about that tomorrow, but I do realize I need to be careful. I want to lose weight, but I don’t want to be so weak I can’t walk up a flight of stairs – I’ve exercised/eaten so little before that I’ve been in that situation, and it’s awful.

That’s not my intent. When I say I am hungry, it means I am eating more, and enjoying it!

So… we’ll see where all of this goes. I am only 6 weeks into my training. I have 10 weeks of training left – and I will be running quite a bit more during those last 6 or so weeks. Maybe the hunger will go away as my body gets used to running so much. Or maybe I will just have to keep eating more. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as my body continues to adapt if I end up putting in less miles per week after the half marathon.

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By kilax, January 19, 2009 9:16 pm

My entire right arm, right shoulder and the right side of my neck are sore. It’s the result of carrying too heavy of a purse for too long, bowling* for the first time in months on Saturday, and playing Wii Tennis** a bit too intensely on Sunday.

The funny thing is, I’ve been ignoring the neck pain caused by my purse for a couple of months. It wasn’t until this Saturday, when the pain spread to my shoulder, that I thought I better do something about it, because I was worried it would affect my running. Since I’ve been training for the half marathon, I’ve really become more in touch with how my body feels when running, and what I need to do before and after running to make it feel its best. My neck wasn’t bothering me too much while running, but I could tell the shoulder pain was going to turn into something awful if I didn’t act on it. So I am acting on it. So I can run better.

It’s really interesting, to follow a half marathon training program, and learn so much about my body while I am doing it. I just never expected to become so in touch with what my body likes and doesn’t like. I won’t go into details, but I’ve learned how important my diet is when it comes to running. If I am running that night, I need to stick to my healthy diet throughout the day, or I am going to be sluggish and uncomfortable on the treadmill. And the thing is, when I am running that night, I DO want to stick to my healthy diet. I am enjoying the training so far and how it makes me feel. I just hope I don’t have any more interruptions in my training schedule. December through mid-January has been hell on my schedule.

*Remember when all I used to blog about was bowling? Then our summer league ended, I and quit playing, because my hip was killing me, and I wanted to focus on running. Well, even though it took me an embarrassingly long time to get back into the swing of things on Saturday, I had a lot of fun, and I miss it.

**Christina and Kyle came to visit us this weekend! We spent ALL day Sunday at home, playing Wii and… playing Wii. Maybe we watched a DVD? I don’t recall. Anyway, I’ve had the Wii for over 5 months and NEVER played Wii Tennis. Kyle and I were fooling around with it, and convinced Christina and Steven to join us after our late lunch. We ALL became ADDICTED! Christina and I had to go change into gym clothes because we were working up such a sweat! Why didn’t anyone tell me Wii Tennis is so fun? I think we spent over 3 hours playing it yesterday. Christina and I were teamed up against Steven and Kyle most of the time, then we let the two of them duke it out, “competitive ass” style.

Competitive asses in action.

FYI: I haven’t really been feeling like myself lately, and I realize that this blog post is a big steaming pile of crap. And… it took me almost 2 hours to write. I mainly wrote it to make Christina happy… are you happy now Christina, are you?!?! Ha ha. Come back to Chicago!

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By kilax, January 5, 2009 12:39 pm

December is full of celebrations, family get-togethers, and days off from work… then January hits and NOTHING is going on.

I distinctly remember spending most of LAST January’s weeknights and weekends on my couch, watching DVDs, and probably eating something.

As awesome as that is, I really hope I don’t let that happen again this year. It’s fun for one day (like yesterday, where I stayed in my pajamas until 8:00 pm when I put on clothes to exercise), but then it just becomes an addicting cycle of doing nothing that makes me feel worse and worse about myself.

I like to have something to look forward to. I know I am supposed to live in the moment and all that, but having something to look forward to gets me going through the day.

So what I am looking forward to this winter?

• Our trip to the Bahamas at the end of January. HA HA, JUST KIDDING! I WISH! HA!
• A (real) trip to Denver to see friends and try skiing for the first time.
• A weekly fencing class that runs until the middle of May.
• A gun safety class in January (okay, I just had to put that one on there to be funny).
• A 4-day weekend in both January and February.
• On-going half marathon training.
• A game night with friends?
• Seeing friends and family? Nothing is set in stone, but I always look forward to that.

Yeah, it’s a pretty lame list, but it’s all I got. Anything on yours? Or are you able to make it through the winter blahs without one?