Comments (22)

By kilax, January 9, 2010 6:46 am

Do you ever catch signs that you are slowly falling into a funk?

Sometimes I catch signs such as:

• losing interest in things
• being extremely irritable
• feeling anti-social
• not wanting to take care of my body
• wanting to sleep all the time
• feeling defensive and cranky

The question is, once we’ve noticed the signs, how do we avoid falling into a full fledged funk? This is something I’ve been trying to figure out for eight years.

I’ve noticed that if I develop a plan of reaction to each sign of falling into a funk, it helps. It gives me tools to use when I realize I am not feeling like myself. Now, I completely prefer preventitive actions to reactive actions, but for now, this is the best I can do.

When I first notice the signs of falling into a funk, I tell myself to pause and look at the bigger picture. Is the reason for my funk right in front of me? Is there an issue I have been avoiding? If it’s situational, and I can nip my unease in the butt by addressing the issue, I try to. Otherwise, I address each sign one by one until I work my way out of the funk. Click “more” if you’d like to read examples of my plans of reaction.

What are your tips on how to avoid falling into a funk? Do you ever catch signs that you are? What are your signs?

Continue reading 'How to avoid falling into a funk'»

Comments (24)

By kilax, December 30, 2009 7:48 am

It seems like I am making a New Year’s Realization instead of a Resolution. Ha, ha… ha?

I keep putting myself on ridiculous schedules because I think it will help me out, when really, it just hinders me.

I have to STOP doing this. I have to.

Today is a perfect example. I am having lunch with a coworker and I also want to get a run in. I obviously can’t do it during lunch time anymore, so it would probably make sense to do it in the evening. No, that makes TOO MUCH SENSE, let’s get up at 4:30 so we can get to the office gym at 6:30 and put 6 miles in before work! Then, you get to run, see your friend for lunch, AND spend quality time with your husband when you get home!

It sounds so perfect when I write it all out, but Steven can tell you which one of these things doesn’t happen. By the time I get home, I am so tired from getting up so early that all I want to do is eat dinner and go to bed. I try to “relax” (how does one do that?) by sitting on the couch watching a movie, but I just feel exhausted.

And I keep doing this… why? It’s like I want to prove to myself that I CAN fit it all in to one day – working out, lunch with a friend, time with Steven, 3 hours commuting and 9.5 hours at work.

I can’t do it all. I can’t have it all. I have to prioritize. I have to be flexible/less rigid with my schedule. Ugh. I just need to learn HOW TO RELAX.

Friends, I have been fighting this for a long time. It’s what causes me to get burnt out and give up. I don’t want that to happen anymore. I am sick of yo-yoing with my weight, and really, with my life.

Do any of you ever feel like you are doing this to yourself? How to you stop/slow down?

Comments (14)

By kilax, November 23, 2009 6:57 am

This weekend, while the boys were doing this,

Steven working on the Datsun

this,

Dad working on the Datsun

and this,

Data watching over us

my mom, grandma and I were doing this,

Visiting Millennium Park (and downtown Chicago)

this,

Since Christina couldn’t be there, mom talked to her on the phone while she frosted cookies.

this,

Mom wraps the gifts while Data watches

and this,

Posing for silly photos so we won’t lose our minds

with finished products like this

Sample plate of goodies
(We ended up making vegan sugar cookies, vegan chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter kisses, peanut clusters (some vegan), caramel popcorn (some vegan), butterscotch num nums, vegan chex mix, and (pre-made) toffee)

and this.

Mica’s Prize

And now it’s all over! I’m always sad to see family (or friends) go – it’s a fun change of pace to have more people in the house. But I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t looking forward to resting and sitting on my ass tonight!

It’s funny how spending two whole days with my mom and grandma really made our similarities and differences stand out. And you could say that about spending concentrated chunks of time with anyone – not just family. Take college roommates for example. After just a full day or so together, you realize whether or not you have the same methods of doing things and whether you were raised with the same values. It’s things as simple as how you clean, or how often you clean, and how you communicate about it.

Obviously, I have more specific examples from this weekend, but I don’t think it would be nice to talk about them here. It was just interesting to me to see which family traits (or values and methods) I’ve held on to, and which I have modified. Some of it has to do with food choices, like the on-going (for years) butter vs. margarine debate, and some of it had to do with conflicting personality characteristics – not conflicting because they’re different, but because they’re the same. Maybe I can write about that at a later date.

These last two paragraphs make it sound like I didn’t have a great time, when really, I did. It’s just that I don’t see my family very often, and I rarely get them all to myself, so I just feel like our interactions are more intense, because they’re so rare.

Anyway, have you had an experience with someone else that really made your similarities and differences stand out?

And now it’s time to tackle google reader and email. How long will it take me to read 340 new posts? Ha. I’ll get through them, but don’t be surprised (or offended!) if you see me commenting on posts a few days old. I haven’t logged in to reader since Thursday night, or even spent much time on the computer.

Comments (20)

By kilax, September 30, 2009 7:32 am

Data has decided to honor me by sleeping with me the last 4 or 5 nights.

What this really means is that I wake up a few times in the middle of the night because I want to roll over, but I don’t, because he is sleeping so peacefully between my legs/next to me/on my feet. And I would never dream of interrupting his slumber (in the middle of the night)! I mean, he wouldn’t do that to me!

Oh, wait. He does. Every time I try to sleep in past 5:30 a.m.

Data sleeping between my legs. It’s kind of hard to tell, but I am under the covers! Like my cat blanket? HA!

The things we do for our pets. Does anyone else have this half-conscious, “I shouldn’t interrupt the sleeping pet” mentality in the middle of the night?

Ha. On a somewhat related note, Steven and I watched The Cat from Outer Space Monday night on DVD. If you like cats and cheesy old movies (released in 1978*), you have to watch this. I was laughing out loud for much of it, just because it was so ridiculous. It’s definitely going on my holiday wishlist.

*For some reason, I expect movies that were released after Star Wars (1977) to have similar quality graphics (The Cat from Outer Space, The Last Starfighter, Robocop)… they don’t. And why would they? I guess that just shows how ahead of his time (crazy) Lucas was.

Comments (11)

By kilax, September 29, 2009 7:01 pm

… I just want to go to bed.

I’m not sure if I am ready for another dark and cold season. Each year I try to come up with a new way to deal with it, but I always feel a little crummy overall. I suppose last year’s method of keeping myself purposefully busy helped somewhat. I’ll try that again.

Comments (12)

By kilax, September 8, 2009 1:05 pm

Day One of Operation “Appear Awake at Work” is off to a rocky start.*

Can you even tell I have makeup on in this photo?!

I am probably setting myself up for failure by trying to wake up so early. Last night was one of those nights where the bed felt perfect and I instantly fell asleep. And I didn’t wake up once!** Not until this morning, when Steven was rubbing my arm (and I was thinking, “What’s he up to?!” Winky Wink.) then said, “Are you going to get up?” It was 4:05. My alarm had gone off at 4:00, and I hadn’t even realized it… yet had somehow managed to turn it off. Weird. Good thing he woke me up!

This weekend was so relaxing. I don’t recall the last time I’ve felt so relaxed. I got a full nine hours of sleep on both Friday and Saturday night, and felt refreshed and energetic all day Saturday and Sunday. It was really weird not to feel tired and crash and the middle of the day like I normally do.

It sure would be great to get that much sleep every night.

I had to wake up earlier this morning so I can make it to an evening appointment with my therapist (Yay flexible work hours!). I think it’s been a month since I last saw her. I canceled my last appointment because I didn’t feel like I had made much progress. And I didn’t feel like sitting there, complaining about the same old issues. It would just make me feel worse for, well, not having made any progress on the same old issues!***

It’s so weird to sit and talk to someone for an hour about how you feel and not have to ask them anything AT ALL. When I am talking to someone, I am naturally conscious of how much I am talking in comparison to them, if I am interrupting them, and if they look bored. Well, talking to a therapist throws all of that out the window. I can just go on and on about whatever I want, and they have to listen. Yippee!

The only problem is that I enjoy bitching to my therapist so much that I have a hard time remembering what she says. She has a lot of good feedback, ideas and analogies, but she tells me so much that I can’t remember it all. An hour is a long time! Maybe I should bring a notepad.

*I’ve decided it’s time to start putting some effort into my appearance again. I am sick of the “you look so tired” comments. I am tired, DAMMIT!
**I’ve been having issues with waking up often in the night, so this is awesome.
***I doubt some issues EVER go away.

Comments (18)

By kilax, July 2, 2009 7:05 am

Because today is an 8-hour workday for me, I took the 6:25 am train instead of the 5:23 am train.

Wow. What a difference an hour of sleep makes. I woke up with a bounce in my step, instead of feeling like zombie-woman.

It’s a reoccurring theme here – my struggle to get enough sleep. I fill my days too full and make my expectations too high. I set myself up for failure and exhaustion.

It makes me very disappointed in myself that I am still struggling with this. Being healthy is not just eating well and exercising. It’s a triad of eating well, exercising AND getting enough rest.

I tried to combat my exhaustion by taking naps the past two weekends. But a 2 or 3-hour nap in the middle of the day? Or two 1-hour naps in one day? That doesn’t seem right (even if it feels right).

I’ve been putting a lot of hope into this 3-day weekend at the river with my family – that it will be relaxing and easy-going. I imagine myself sleeping on the beach, closing my eyes and relaxing on the boat, having relaxing conversations with my (immediate) family, enjoying leisure activities… we’ll see. I’ve learned it’s best not to have my expectations too high (ever, really) when going somewhere where my imaginary schedule has to be coordinated with 9 others people’s.  

And however the weekend turns out, what happens when I come back? I’ll still be skimping on sleep, I’m sure.

Comments (5)

By kilax, May 31, 2009 8:34 am

This post is a reminder to myself.

Slow down. You keep “going going going” and you are going to CRASH.

Quit packing your schedule so full. Take time to RELAX.

Ha. Who am I kidding? Even as I write this, I know I have a FULL day ahead, and at least two full weeks. Busy all day at work, busy all night at home. Too much to do.

And about the super long post below – just a Target rant and some food reviews I wanted to share. It ended up super long, so read it only if it interests you.

Comments (23)

By kilax, April 28, 2009 6:53 am

I’ve been tagged by Mrs. Smith. Here are the rules:

1. Take a pic of yourself right now.
2. No primping or preparing.
3. Just snap a picture.
4. Load the picture onto your blog.
5. Tag some people to play along. I don’t tag, but participate if you want!

This is me, when I woke up at 5:00 am, sans makeup! (See how wavy my hair is, Denise?!)

Of course, Data saw that I was snapping pics with my phone and wanted to get in on the action. I think he cheated though – he was definitely licking himself before he jumped into the photo!

See how tired I look? I look this tired ALL DAY LONG. Even though I put on makeup, try to get enough sleep and drink lots of water… I always look tired. Even when I don’t feel tired.

And… more blabbing – I love Jillian Michaels’s* podcasts. I often feel like she is speaking directly to me, about something I am personally struggling with. Already, I have been able to apply something I listened to last night to a situation this morning. More below…

Continue reading 'No primping or preparing / Why I love Jillian Michaels'»

Comments (17)

By kilax, March 24, 2009 5:13 am

For your entertainment, here is a blog post I wrote about being sick while I was sick. Yeah… it kind of doesn’t make any sense.

My exhaustion finally caught up with me.

On Thursday I developed a small cough in the afternoon. On Friday, it was deeper, but I felt well enough to go to work. But by lunch time I started to feel weak. I had aches in my legs and couldn’t walk very fast. I left early and the aches spread to my hips and lower back. We had tickets to a comedy club with friends that night and were supposed to meet them for dinner first. Instead, I laid in bed all night, as the aches moved to my chest. Wonderful wife I am. $50 down the drain.

On Saturday, surprisingly, I felt somewhat better. Still weak, but not coughing as much, and not achy. We took Sir Data Lor to the vet, and cleaned the house a bit for friends to come over. I was terrified I would have to cancel our get together* with Kevin, Katie, Diane, E and Tori, but I felt great all day. Until about 9:00 pm, when they probably noticed me continually getting up from playing Wii Trivial Pursuit** to blow my nose, cough, and wash my hands in the bathroom.

On Sunday I felt miserable. I kept getting hot and cold, hot and cold. I would be shivering under the sheets, then they would be wet from me sweating too much. I had to go to Target to pick up a prescription. You know what the pharmacist*** said to me? “You look tired.” You know what it means when people say that to  you? “You look like crap.” I DID look like crap. I laid in bed all day.

I thought I may go to work on Monday, but decided not to. It’s a good thing I didn’t. I could barely stand up when I was trying to make myself oatmeal in the morning – I felt too weak and dizzy. I had aches during the day again. Felt too weak to get out of bed most of the time. But the coughing had gone down. Hurrah.

On Tuesday, I think I’ll go into the office. What the hell. Should be fun.

You know what? I have been PISSED OFF this whole time I’ve been sick. I’m angry. This stupid sickness is putting a serious hamper in my exercise plans. Taking four days off is making me crazy. And I don’t feel like I should be sick. I eat well and I exercise. I’m healthy!

I know what you’re thinking, “Um, Kim, maybe it’s because you don’t get enough sleep?” Yeah, that has got to be it. From now on, I am going to recommit to getting 7 hours of sleep a night. I will set a timer for 10:00 or whatever, and when it goes off, I’ll stop what I’m doing, and go to bed, as often as possible. If that doesn’t happen, I am going to start sleeping on the train again.

I’ll do whatever it takes to get healthy.

And yeah, that includes finally going to the doctor. I’m working on that one.

*We had such a wonderful time having everyone over on Saturday night. We rarely get to spend time with friends, so it was a real treat. And I love that blogging has given me so many “real life” friends. I never thought that would happen when I started this blog! And I must say – I have a very real blogger crush on Tori. She’s even more awesome in person.
**I sucked at Wii Trivial Pursuit just as much as the tangible board game. What a surprise! Not!
***My pharmacist is pretty funny. The last time I was there, she was so excited to enter my new government insurance info in the computer because of the “awesome low prices!”
BONUS FOR MAKING IT THIS FAR: Anyone sick of me using asterisks all the time? Muah ha ha! Blame it on diane! I copied her’s! I love it when she adds little tidbits!