Learning to give the benefit of the doubt
Comments (13) When did I become so cynical?
I loved sizzle’s post last week about how someone double-parked her, and she left a note on their car, and they actually left an apology letter on hers. I felt like sizzle wrote that post directly to me, like she was saying, “Wake up Kim! You aren’t perfect either! Give people the benefit of the doubt!”
You see, I’ve become quite… fed up with human interaction in public spaces lately. It’s mostly in the morning and evenings, on my walks from the train station to work. I know I walk faster than most, and I don’t expect people to go my speed, but I do expect them to get the HECK out of my way.
I’m sad to admit, I’ve developed the habit of bumping into people and not saying anything. Why should I always be the one to have to move out of the way, you know? It’s just that crowded.
Well, the day before sizzle wrote that post, TWO people stepped in front of me in the morning. But you know what was weird? One apologized, and the other said, “excuse me.” I immediately felt guilty for all those times I’ve been so rude, because I was simply assuming the other person is just a jerk.
And on Tuesday, while dining with a friend, a woman apologized to me for bumping into my chair when she left her table. I didn’t even feel it. How polite!
Now, I am not the type to be rude and not say something when it’s due, but I have just spent so much time assuming most of the people downtown were self-centered jerks, that I’ve sort of given up. And decided to be pushy as well.
I’m different in the suburbs, surprisingly (or not?). One day at the theater, I opened the door to leave (the exit only door) and a bunch of people rushed in, bumping into me. Steven wondered why I wasn’t upset. I explained that it was nothing compared to my morning and evening walks downtown, simple as that. He explained that HE was fed up with holding the door for others, letting others go by first, etc., and feeling taken advantage of all the time. I understood – that is how I feel in the city.
Now I am trying to be less judgmental and pushy. I won’t be walked over, but I can at least give people the benefit of the doubt.
It’s hard.
Related: I think Hilly was on the same page with her manners bullet from an older post.
Themocracy