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By kilax, June 11, 2009 1:07 pm

I have an appointment tonight, as well as guests in town, so I decided to get my run in during lunch, in the office gym. I was really looking forward to it all morning, hoping that it would break up the monotony of the day and get me energized for the afternoon.

But instead of having a carefree, relaxing run like I usually do, I ended up stressing out about work issues and watching the clock the entire time. I had to rush to get 3 miles in, then shower and get ready to go back to my desk (in one hour).

It feels good to have the run out of the way, but it wasn’t the quality I wanted it to be. I didn’t get to de-stress at all.

My marathon training schedule starts next Monday, and I think I am going to have to fit lunch time runs in a couple of times a week. Maybe next time it will be sunny and NOT raining*, so I can get outside and enjoy the run more.

Warning: exercise seems to be one of the only things I feel like writing about right now, so you’ll probably get a lot of that.

*This is June, right?

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By kilax, June 4, 2009 12:59 pm

I have a reoccuring dream that I am on a plane to Rome, feeling extremely guilty because I have “left”* Steven to pursue my own interests.**

This morning the dream was a bit different. I was sitting next to a classmate on the plane, when I looked down into my luggae (why I had it with me, who knows) and realized I didn’t pack ANY of my running gear.

I started to panick and my classmate assured me it would be okay and I could buy running gear in Rome.

“But I didn’t even bring my Garmin! How will I know how far I’ve gone?!”

Oh jeez. This has gone too far.

But after I woke up, I thought, it would have been FUN to run in Rome! I never did. It would be dangerous with the way people drive there, but it would be so neat to run by all of the old, unique buildings. And I know some of my classmates were running when we were there. Maybe someday I’ll get an opportunity to run there again.

Is there any really cool place you like to run? Or do you have a dream run like this? Right now, I love running in the forest preserve, when I am not getting attacked by birds!

*Not “left” as in divorced, but “left” as in “left behind (for awhile).
**I think I have these dreams because I did chose to extend my winter 2006 stay in Rome into the summer ( I stayed to work for an Italian Architect) when Steven and I were engaged. I only saw him twice in seven months.

Comments (28)

By kilax, June 1, 2009 5:36 am

Do I look intimidating? AT ALL?!

Maybe not intimidating, but scary in a sweaty “ew you need to take a shower” sort of way.

Apparently, I do, at least to the Red-winged Blackbird. Yesterday, during my 10-mile run (splits below) at my (and Tori’s!) favorite forest preserve, I was attacked by a bird FOUR TIMES.

The first time, I felt something latch onto my hair and thought “WTF was that?!” then saw the bird fly away. I laughed. The second time, the bird dive-bombed me and clipped my shoulder (no scratches). The third time was a dive bomb, but no contact.

And the fourth time was when I got pissed off. I was especially cautious to run far away from the birds, and even saw the bird watch me as I ran by. Once he was out of MY sight, he went for my hat and latched on and beat his wings against it. Of course, there was a family behind me witnessing the whole thing. I yelled “GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!” and kept running, but turned around and said to them, “This is the FOURTH time this has happened to me today!”

I didn’t see anyone else getting attacked, and there were A LOT of people there. I wonder if the birds were scared of my hat? I know these birds are very protective of their nests, but I felt like I was keeping a respective distance.

I feel like there should be some sort of boy scout/girl scout patches I earn every time I pass a running milestone. You know, milestones like running with a bloody toe, taking a crap in the forest, running in the pouring run, getting attacked by birds, etc. What other milestones am I forgetting?

Distance: 10.00 miles | Time: 1:32:48 | 1: 9:09 | 2: 9:20 | 3: 9:09 | 4: 9:13 | 5: 9:19 | 6: 9:12 | 7: 9:32 | 8: 9:09 | 9: 9:23 | 10: 9:17

Comments (23)

By kilax, May 21, 2009 11:46 pm

HOLY. FREAKING. COW. THAT. WAS. HARD.

I’ve never run such a congested race in my life. The announcer said there were close to 18,000 people. The event coordinators tried very hard to be organized. They had pace signs at the start, and kept repeating over and over NOT to start in the front if you were walking or planning on finishing in over 30 minutes.

Do people listen? NO! Because everyone is SO special that the rules do not apply to them (this is not a new thought in my head – I recognize this pattern in a lot of people). I got very frustrated when a lot of my coworkers started at the 7:00 minute mile pace, after they had all told me they planned on finishing in over 30 minutes. I passed them. Anyway…

The race was so congested that I did not cross the start line until well over a minute, and I was shoulder to shoulder with people the entire 3.5 miles. I actually saw one guy get knocked over onto the pavement because he was pushed from behind. People started in front of me who were walking, or running much much slower than the people around them. It was frustrating to have to dodge around these people. Oh well. I guess that is to be expected at a big race like this.

This is a race where I kept thinking, “And… why do I run again?” Because it was hard course (it was extremely muggy when we had to run under bridges), it was HOT (75°), and it was so freaking congested. It was just a HARD run. BUT, I gave it my all and finished 3.5 miles in 27:13. My clock time was 28:22 because I didn’t cross the start line right away.

Steven came downtown to watch me race and hang out with me and my coworkers at the after party (I totally sucked at introducing him to people – what is my problem?). I am so happy he came to support me! He said he enjoyed watching people race.

Video of the start!

I started where I was supposed to… this is well before the HUGE crowds! (Click on the photo to enlarge and check out my awesome farmer’s tan! Lame)

The start line.

Starting off… still smiling…

Scary finish photo!

Me and Steven-o.

I was super pumped for this all day, and am happy with my time, but it was not as fun (the racing part) as I expected. I am worn out, and happy I have tomorrow off to kind of relax. And maybe go on an easy run (I can’t help it!).

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By kilax, May 20, 2009 6:39 am

I liked today’s Runner’s World Quote of the Day:

The quote says: Running gives me a sense of controlling my life. I like the finiteness of runs, the fact that I have a clear beginning and end. I set a goal and achieve it. A good run makes you feel sort of holy.

Except for the whole “feeling holy” part (what does that even mean?), I can totally relate to this.

I am someone who struggles with having control in their life. I need structure. I need goals/milestones/guidelines. I can be easy going and go with the flow of things, but I am someone who works best with a PLAN.

Running gives me the opportunity to have long-term goals and plans to achieve them, along with mini daily goals. I DO feel accomplished when I have it in my mind that I am going to run a certain distance/time that day, then I go out and do it. It’s maybe the one thing in my life that is simple enough I CAN control on a daily basis.

My only worry with this is that I am TOO goal-oriented. Honestly, I was feeling a bit lost in my running until I signed up for the Kansas City Marathon. I felt worried that I would “lose” my endurance if I wasn’t following a training plan. Even now, I am keeping up around 20+/- miles a week, but I still feel lost/unstructured, because my official training does not start until 6/15.

And surprisingly, feeling lost in running spilled over into feeling “uneasy” in general. I was really, really anxious until I selected my next goal and developed my next plan. I guess running truly is my balance now.

So, while I think it is good to have plans and goals to follow, because they make me feel like I have some control, I realize that I have some sort of addiction. Steven actually told me he thinks I have compulsive behavior when it comes to running (and other things) – he thinks I set my mind on something, and won’t stop until I achieve it (or something like that – he wasn’t trying to insult me). That can be both good and bad. It would be really good if I could take some of that and apply it to other life goals (oh you know, like getting licensed, blah de blah), but for now, my focus seems to be on running. Which is good… until I become too obsessive. And I don’t feel like I am there yet. Ha!

This is actually not meant to be a post all about running, but about control and goals, and I think it could apply to a lot of different behaviors or activities. Do you feel like there are elements in your life that you feel you have control over, and bring you a sense of accomplishment, or calm?

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By kilax, May 19, 2009 6:47 am

I get a lot of comments at work like, “your lunch is so healthy,” “your snacks are so healthy,” “you always eat so healthy,” “do you count carbs or calories?”* “what do I need to eat to lose weight?” “when is your next run?” “what do I need to do to start running?”**

I think that people think I am some sort of… health freak? They see me walking around with an apple, or eating my homemade granola bar, or getting fresh veggies out of the fridge for lunch, and think I am super focused on eating healthy ALL THE TIME.

Ha. Ha ha. I WISH! While it is my goal to get closer and closer to eating a healthy, fresh diet most of the time, I am totally not there yet.

I have two secrets to share:

1. I want to run the Chase Corporate Challenge 3.5 miler in 28 minutes.
2. I’ve gained 4 pounds in the last 4 weeks.

The second secret pretty much cancels out the first one.*** Because, I can feel the small amount of extra weight and it is slowing me down a bit during my runs. I can feel it shaking in my butt.

AND, it’s NO BIG DEAL! I was stressed out, I was eating emotionally, blah blah blah, what did I expect to happen? Mathematically, I knew my calories in was higher than my calories out, even when running 20+ miles a week. I just chose to ignore it for awhile. Because I am human, and I cannot eat perfectly all the time, no matter how hard I try. And I don’t even WANT to eat perfectly all the time. How boring would that be?

Anyway, it makes me laugh at work when I get SO MANY comments on what I am eating and how healthy it is, because I do not “eat healthy” all of the time and I don’t think of the food I eat during the day as “healthy,” I think of it as the food I want to eat – fruit, veggies, whole wheat crackers, granola bars, cereal, veggie dogs, etc.

The good thing is, when people keep saying that to me, it encourages me. It keeps me going. It reminds me that I do need to be making conscious, healthy choices most of the time. And not just “for show” (which it’s not), but because I want to.

So even though the comments do get annoying from time to time (I mean, come on, can I just prepare my lunch in peace?!), I am going to channel it into good – encouragement.

And I am going to quit all of that mindless gosh darn**** snacking.

*Give me a freakin’ break. I am NOT afraid of carbs.
**My punctuation kind of went to crap in this paragraph.
***So I think I will try to finish in under 30 minutes.
****This is me not swearing.

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By kilax, May 17, 2009 5:12 pm

Apparently, besides worrying about bugs flying down my bra and biting me (yes, that happened today), water from my hydration belt spilling all over my legs (felt kind of good), having to poo (always a concern), and a killer sunburn (totally my fault), I also need to worry about GETTING LOST while I am running.

Today I decided to do an 8-miler close to home, but I chose to explore the neighborhood north of ours (thought that would be FUN). Without looking at a map (first mistake!) I figured it was small and only had two entrances, like ours.

Uh, no.

About 5 miles into the run, I realized I could see a major street that I shoudn’t be able to see. And wasn’t planning on seeing during this run. I knew where I was, but only by the major street – and there was no way I would run on it because of the high speed limit. So I kept heading east then south then east then south (with one long accidental north) until I finally got back to an area I had run by earlier. I was kind of freaking out a little bit, because I was running low on water, but I felt reassured knowing I had my phone and could call Steven for directions. Ha!

Has this happened to any of you?

It was pretty funny when I got home and uploaded the map of my run – I had accidentally run into another neighborhood that I didn’t know was connected to the one north of our house.

If I am wearing a Garmin Forerunner 405, shouldn’t it tell me how to get back home? I mean, it IS a Garmin! It has GPS! Who knows. Maybe it can. I think the new model should have an actual map with directions as well as a thermostat. Just because that would be cool.

And you know what else IS cool? I figured out how to set up the 1-mile lap button on Jack so I can share my splits. Because they are oh so awesome. Not. I tried really hard to start out slow, but I still started out too fast and ended slower than I wanted. I need to work on that. Along with not getting lost.

Distance: 8.01 miles | Time: 1:14:05 | 1: 9:19 | 2: 9:24 | 3: 9:09 | 4: 8:58 | 5: 9:14 | 6: 9:12 | 7: 9:18 | 8: 9:20 | 9: 0:06

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By kilax, May 12, 2009 5:18 am

I know some of you have got to be sick of all my running posts, but I really need to get this out there. And it’s not too brag, or gloat, but just to share my happiness.

I am at a point in my running where it feels so good to run. It feels so natural. I feel like I could keep going and going. I don’t want to stop. I look forward to my run all day long. I veg out on it. I let my mind wander. I let my body take over. I let it do what it wants to do. It feels right.

I really think my body wants me to be a runner.

I am trying to enjoy every minute of this, because I am aware of the taxing effect running can have on your body if you are not careful. I am aware that I could sustain an injury that would sideline me for awhile. I am really hoping that doesn’t happen, but I know it’s a risk, so even though I love running so much, I make sure not to run too much. I make sure to take a day off here and there, even though I don’t want to.

Yesterday was the perfect day, running-wise. I checked the forecast on Sunday, and knew it was supposed to be somewhat sunny, in the upper 50s around 6:00 PM, so I got up extra early, and got to work by 7:00 on Monday, so I could leave at 4:30 and run at 6:15. I saw the sun all day at my office, and on the train ride home, and I was just stoked. My neighbor decided to run with me (the awesome neighbor I am always writing about), so we chatted the whole way. We ran an easy 5 miles (around 10:00 minute mile pace), and pushed it the last quarter of a mile (between 7:00-8:00 minute mile pace). It felt great! He was so stoked when we hit 4 miles, then 5 miles when we ended, because he hadn’t run that far in quite some time. His excitement and energy rubbed off on me as well, so I felt even better.

I was done running around 7:20, and Steven was just finishing the end of the P90X Shoulders and Back and Ab Ripper DVD. I took a quick shower, then we made dinner together and were able to relax a bit before going to bed a little early! A perfect run, followed by a perfect night! I usually have to exercise after dinner, so it means a lot when I actually get to sit down with my husband.

I just wanted to share this, because I have been portraying a lot of stress here lately. And I am stressed, but aren’t we all? I don’t want to portray myself as an unhappy person – just your normal, “stressed out from time to time and trying to figure themselves out” type of person. It helps me relieve stress by writing about it here, but I don’t want you to think that’s all that I am about. I am actually very, very happy right now.

And I hope that all of you can find an activity that makes you happy, whether it is exercise or not! Something you really enjoy and make the time to do – something that you can just “get in the zone” of it and clear your mind a bit.

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By kilax, May 9, 2009 5:52 pm

Things making me happy this Saturday:

• Sleeping in until 9:30!
• Waking up to Steven making banana donuts.
• Steven helping me find vegan-friendly* products at Target.
• Buying a dry-erase calendar to keep track of events/training!**



Too lazy to take a photo with my actual camera!

• Running an overcast 34:24 4-miler
• Registering for the 10/17/09 Kansas City Marathon. Steven and I discussed our long-term fitness goals a lot this week. He is going to start the 90-day P90X workout series soon, and focus on building muscle, along with becoming a better***/faster runner. I am going to start the marathon training in June, and focus on endurance, as well as speed training and mileage upkeep in the meantime. Steven told me to go ahead and register for the Chicago Marathon (through a charity) without him, that he would be a spectator, but I really don’t want to run that one without him, or search for a charity to raise money for that I am not 100% behind. I want to save the Chicago Marathon for something special that we can do together, whenever that may be. I chose Kansas City because it is still in the midwest (won’t have any travel shock), is a “smaller” race, and is Steven’s hometown – his parents, brother and a lot of friends still live there. And since the Kansas City Marathon registration is open until the day before the race, he is going to see how he feels about jumping in on the marathon training with me, and either sign up for the half marathon or full marathon version of that race.
• Steven getting to work on the Datsun 280Z today.
• Knowing we get to go to the park to run and see Star Trek tomorrow!

What’s making you happy today (whether or not it’s Saturday when you read this!)?

*I am planning on making trying veganism soon, and his support really means A LOT to me.
**I love calendars. I love writing out what I have to do and crossing it off. This makes me really giddy.
***Not better as in “faster is better,” but better as in, better breathing, better form, etc.

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By kilax, May 7, 2009 12:25 pm

I had this rant post about my weeklong training all prepared to post today, but… the half marathon pictures came in, so  you are excused from my reading my rant (about immature classmates)! Hurrah! It’s your lucky day!

First, I must say, it is making me ABSOLUTELY CRAZY to let my body rest this week and only do short (3 mile) runs (Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, giving myself tonight off). I am really itching to get a longer run in (6-8 miles) this weekend… and I can’t wait to start marathon training in June!

Okay, on to the photos! All of these were taken by Action Sports International. I knew they would be there, so I made sure to smile every time I saw a cameraman. I tend to run with my mouth open, so I can only imagine how lovely all of the photos would be if I just ran “au natural.”

I put these in chronological order. The only way I could tell what was chronological was by my changing outfit – tissues, then no tissues, then no belt. Ha ha.

Check out all those tissues (again)! Notice the difference in what the two of us are wearing? Steven has on long sleeves, long pants and GLOVES!!! I wished I was wearing a tank. Yeah. I am a super sweaty runner and PROUD of it!

This was right after I went to the bathroom and was still adjusting my hydration belt. Ha ha! I like the “skinny legs” optical illusion going on in this photo!

I remember having my tongue out for this picture! I wondered how it would turn out. No more “skinny legs” optical illusion. That didn’t last long!

Right after I saw my mom and ditched the belt. “I want to break free…”

Approaching the finish line…

… and crossing! Nice bunched up shorts! Hee hee. At least I didn’t chafe at all.

Hey! Steven kind of looks happy! Is that allowed?

This is the first time I’ve participated in a race with professional photos. It’s fun to look at them now, but I am not sure if any of them turned out good enough to order. I kind of like that one of me crossing the finish line, but my shorts are all bunched up. Does anyone ever order these?