Comments (19)

By kilax, December 10, 2008 9:01 pm

A little public announcement before the post: I feel guilty writing posts, when I have emails that need to be responded to, as well as over 400 unread items in my google reader. I feel guilty for responding to things slowly or late (like birthday announcements and other important news in posts). Please forgive me. Writing here is an outlet for me. It really alleviates stress, so it is the first thing I make time for. I really enjoy writing emails and reading blogs too. In fact, I am upset that my schedule has not allowed me to “catch up.” You all know how that is though. Anyway, my apologies. I hope to have time to catch up… some weekend? Okay, announcement over.

This year, both of our families have told us to “expect a smaller Christmas.” Or rather, they’ve apologetically told us they don’t have as much money to spend as in years past.

I’m guessing we’re not the only ones hearing this?

It makes me really sad that people feel like they have to apologize for giving less presents during the holidays. It makes me sad, because I know they are genuinely upset that they cannot give as much to us as they have before. And I know that no matter how much I tell them it doesn’t matter to me, it will still matter to them.

It’s hard not to let gift-giving become some sort of obsession during the holidays. You stress and stress over how much money to spend, what to buy, and then how they will react when they open it, whether or not they like it…

Our big thing is that we want to buy people things they actually WANT, rather than aimlessly searching for something, just to say “I got you a gift!” So, we started brainstorming ideas for people back in October. But, as my second cousin Denise wisely told me, “I stress about buying present every year because I never know what to buy for people. I guess we’ve all gotten to the point where we buy what we want and things that we don’t buy no one else can afford.” Ugh, exactly. For some people, it is impossible for Steven and I to come up with good gift ideas, unless they’re super expensive. People in our lives generally have what they want. Or sadly, we don’t know enough about our own family member’s interests to buy them something new they may enjoy.

So, we get caught up in this whole stress thing too.

I always have fun buying and giving gifts, but I do worry about finding that “perfect” gift.

Yeah, it doesn’t exist. And I have quit pretending it does. I am just going to enjoy the holidays.

I started thinking about all of this because my office is answering “Letters to Santa.” Children in impoverished neighborhoods write the letter to Santa at their schools and then the Sun-Times newspaper delivers the letters to organizations that buy and wrap the gifts these kids are asking for.

I didn’t participate (because I just started), but I think it really put things into perspective for a lot of people, answering a letter where a kid would ask for something so simple, like “a stuffed bear I can hug,” “anything Hot Wheels,” or “a Barbie.” One woman said it made her feel awful that a kid was asking for a $10 Barbie and she bought her own son a $200 PlayStation.

We all know we’ve become incredibly materialistic. We live our lives in pursuit of “stuff.” You want to earn more money at your job, so that you can get the “stuff” you want, and live in your preferred comfort zone.

And yes, we all think about this more around the holidays, maybe feeling a little guilty about it, maybe not.

I just want people to understand that “having less” at Christmas isn’t going to ruin the holiday for me. But there is really no way to alleviate someone else’s guilt.