My office’s holiday parties are this week. That’s right, parties, as in plural. We have a team lunch at a restaurant on Wednesday (there will be 6 of us), a floor potluck on Thursday (about 100 people), and the company party on Thursday afternoon (about 300 people?).
I don’t worry too much about the food and drinks. I know I will be able to get a vegan meal at the restaurant (I called on Monday to check) and I will bring my own food to the potluck and not have anything at the other party. Really, the point is to have fun and socialize.
And that is what I worry about, a bit. I know I will be fine socializing at the team lunch and floor potluck, because I know people. But trying to navigate the company party and talk to people is difficult. And I’m not shy! I’m pretty friendly and open, and am rarely at a loss for things to talk about*. I just have not mastered the art of joining a conversation already in process, and since our company has a lot of groups, that is a lot of what the party is. I aimlessly wander around, trying hard not to stick with just my group, but struggle to break into conversations with the few people I do know outside of my group…
There was actually a great article about social anxiety in the December issue of Women’s Health containing a lot of tips about interacting with strangers/coworkers. One of the best tips (which is not in that link) was on how to break away from a conversation, by saying something like “There are a few other people I’d like to say hello to. I had a great time talking to you. I’ll catch you later.” That is definitely something I’ve been trying to figure out how to tactfully say! If you’re not careful, you’ll be talking to the same person all night!
The other tips (actually in the link) were to “play mind games,” “try a new tactic,” and “work the room” (I guess you’ll have to read it for those to make sense!). But the tip I needed wasn’t there – how to join a conversation that has already started.
Are you attending any Office Holiday Parties this year? Do you look forward to them or dread them? Do you ever feel like you have a hard time breaking into a conversation? What are your tactics? Have any tips for me?!
*This could be seen as good OR bad.
Life, Work + Design
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alcohol, beer, drink, food, Holiday Office Party, holiday parties, indulge, office, party, people, social, social anxiety, socializing, Vegan, Vegetarian, Wine, Women's Health, Work + Design
If you had the opportunity to know what someone truly thought of you, would you want to know?
I wouldn’t want to know what people are thinking all the time, but I do often wonder how people perceive me (coworkers, friends, strangers, family).
And I am not fishing for compliments and input. Just sharing a thought.
I sometimes think if I knew how people perceive me, I would learn a little more about myself*. Not that I think everyone’s perception is spot on. I’ve just noticed that some people I know think of themselves in a certain manner, and broadcast who they think they are. But they don’t come off that way. At all.
I’ll use my personal example. I think of myself as an optimistic, happy, friendly person, but sometimes find myself talking about things in a negative manner (maybe this post came off that way?). So… I am either really a negative pessimistic person, or I need to change how I communicate.
But, how would I know, unless someone pointed that out to me? Maybe I should offer a different question – does anyone in your life claim to have certain characteristics, but not come off that way at all? Have you ever wanted to say anything to them about it?
Does this make any sense at ALL?! I’m not sure, but I’m going to hit “publish” anyway.
*Because I sometimes feel like I don’t really know who I am or what I want. I seem to be stuck in the short term – I want to relax, have fun, travel, spend time with friends and family… what is that?! Those aren’t life goals.
You know what’s exhausting? Trying to give someone what they want, when what they want is constantly changing*.
I am sick of trying to figure people (and their mood swings) out. I know it’s their issue, not mine, but still, it’s exhausting and wearing me down.
My therapist pointed out that when someone is really detail oriented and likes to pick things apart, that by letting it ruin my day, I am doing the same thing – focusing in on the irrelevant details. What a good point. So I am working on not letting the small things build up, but in the meantime… ugh. I feel like I am constanlty being attacked.
*Because they are crazy, and want one thing one day and something different the next.
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