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By kilax, December 21, 2009 4:56 am

Every time I’m about to hit “publish” on this rant post I have drafted out, I end up with some surprise I’d rather blog about. First it was from my mom, and then last week, I got a wonderful surprise almost every single day! I think this is a sign from the universe – save that rant-y post for January, Kim… have some holiday spirit…

I received the first gift was from my blogger buddy Gina on Monday. I have been blogger buddies (well, we call each other blogger sisters) with Gina and Courtney for over three years. We write group emails almost every week, exchange holiday and birthday gifts and cards, and hope hope hope that the three of us can meet up someday (Gina is in New York and Courtney is in Texas).

Appropriately, Gina sent me Julie & Julia – the movie about Julia Childs and the blogger Julie Powell! I had not seen the movie, and I was so so excited when I opened it! She sent it along with vegan popcorn and a thoughtful card. How lucky I am to have a friend like that?! Steven and I really enjoyed watching the movie. It made me hungry though!

What does Data think of Julie & Julia?

He likes it!

Then on Wednesday at work, one of my team members brought in holiday treats for us all. She was thoughtful enough to make me vegan gingersnaps!

Isn’t the packaging cute?

Nom Nom Nom. Looks like something you’d buy in a store!

On Thursday, I received Lindsay’s copy of The Reader, which she is loaning me. I sent her a book of mine to borrow, so we are doing a fun little exchange.

And then Friday a holiday package from Lauren arrived (we participated in Morning Runner’s blogger gift exchange). WOW. Lauren HOOKED ME UP! DUH! How could I have forgotten she works IN a running store???!!! She sent me Saucony socks, Adidas headbands, a “run” keychain, and some prickly pear cactus candies which I am super excited to try. Isn’t that the best gift ever?! I really got lucky in drawing Lauren’s name. I have been having a lot of fun getting to know her through her blog. I love how down to earth she is and the great attitude she has. Check her out if you don’t already read her blog!

On Saturday, there was yet another package, from Courtney, wrapped in adorable “Meowy Christmas” paper!

And inside of an adorable Santa tin! What could it be, Data and I wonder…

Homegrown pecans! WOW! I cannot imagine how long it took to shell all of those! What a thoughtful gift! Steven and I are thinking about using them to make baklava!

Yes, I show Data all of the packages. He is curious.

We also received a ton of holiday cards this week, many from thoughtful bloggers, along with those from family and friends. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!

How lucky I am to have received all of this? Who am I to even consider ranting about the small things in life when I have such a wonderful network of supportive friends? I am so grateful for these relationships! And I am grateful for each and every one of you who take the time to leave comments and develop an online relationship with me. It really makes my day to read your insight and feedback to my ramblings! Thank you!!!

Have you received any surprises lately? Does this time of year make you stop and think about the things in life for which you are grateful?

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By kilax, December 17, 2009 5:01 am

Have you ever been worried about the health of a loved one but not been sure on what you could do to help?

I know I’ve been in that situation. And people have probably been in that situation with concern for me. The problem is, I never figured out what to say/do to help.

I was reading Men’s Health* while working out on the bike on Tuesday. In the “Ask the Girl Next Door” section of “Ask Men’s Health” I saw this question:

Q: My wife eats junk food and never exercises, and I’m worried she’s going to balloon when she hits 35. How can I address this without getting my head ripped off?

Um, I would start by NOT using the world balloon. Men’s Health’s answer (remember, this answer is from a woman):

A: First, see if you can help her change her lifestyle without having a direct conversation. Ask her to take a walk with you after work. Hold her hand and ask about her day. Cook dinner more often and assume grocery duties. In fact, do more chores in general – remove a chunk of her daily obligations, and she’ll have more time and energy to spend on herself. If after a few months you still see no change, that’s when you sit her down, hold her tight, and say you’ve noticed that she hasn’t been taking great care of herself. Tell her it worries you on both a health level and, you’re embarrassed to admit, a sexual level. Say it makes you feel shallow and that you hate hurting her feelings, but that it’s something you want to address. Then ask her what’s going through her mind. And this is the most important part: Listen to her answer, and tell her, as many times as it takes, that you’ll always love her and you’re wiling and eager to help make her life easier.

Wow.

So… I thought there as definitely some good advice in there – splitting chores to allow equal free time between spouses, listening to each other’s concerns, working out together…

But damn. The sexual comment? Not being honest about your concerns from the get-go? That doesn’t fly with me. If you are going down that route, you might as well follow this AWFUL list of “10 subtle ways to tell her she’s getting fat.” Yep. It’s awful. Read it if you want to be a little bit pissed off for the rest of the day.

Would these techniques work on you? What would work? Have you ever tried to help someone out with following a healthier lifestyle?

I sometimes have food issues – binge eating and eating too fast. These issues are triggered by being rushed, feeling like things are out of my control, stress, general anxiety, and we can’t forget the last one – boredom. Steven has tried to help me. But I am so defensive about it. I think even if I came up with the perfect thing for him to say, and he said it, I would still find something wrong with the tone of his voice, or his timing. I don’t want to make it a lonely battle, because I am sure I could use support from time to time, but I am just not ready for it.

In the same sense, I don’t think I discuss exercise with him in the way he would prefer. I love to hear about other people’s workouts, so I will ask if he had time to fit one in, and if he didn’t, I think me asking makes him feel bad.

I am not mentioning these two examples because it’s a huge problem for us – it surely isn’t. We support each other by cooking healthy meals, working out together, and discussing our healthy goals. I just want to say that I think it is difficult to help someone else get healthy**, even if you have great communication. It’s so personal. You have to be really comfortable to even talk about it.

*Seems like a great mag, by the way!
**Especially since healthy can mean so many different things to different people.

Comments (17)

By kilax, December 8, 2009 5:32 am

Do you ever get it in your mind that you ABSOLUTELY have to do something, and that is all you can think about, obsessively, until you’ve done it?

This is not necessarily a good thing. It’s compulsive.

com-pul-sion: Psychology. a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one’s will.

If my photo were next to a definition in the dictionary, I fear it would be that one. I sometimes think compulsion is the cause of many of my actions. A few examples:

• When I found out Foer was speaking in Chicago, it was all I could think about for hours while I figured out the logistics. I was stressed out about it at work, when I should have been focused.
• I missed 1.5 miles of my Thursday run and thought obsessively about fitting it in last Friday, when really, I needed to rest my legs*. I didn’t run the 1.5 miles, thankfully.
• This post. I wrote it on my exercise sheet while I was doing my strength routine last Friday. It was all I could think about. Even when writing it (last night on the airplane) I closed the lid of my computer for take-off, but thought of something to write and had to open it back up.
• I had it in my mind that I was going to make certain dishes for my family when they visited. Apparently my mother had a few dishes in mind too? (Hence the Similarities and Differences post – I think we are both like this.)
• I couldn’t get it out of my mind that I had to get our holiday tree last weekend before “all the good ones were gone.” Luckily, Steven humored me on this one and we picked out our tree on Saturday (free delivery to the house on Sunday!).
• I won’t even go into how this affects my relationship with food!

What is all of this about? Why do I obsessively think and plan things? I sometimes think it is because I am afraid of missing out on events and afraid of forgetting thoughts I have. AND, I just get so excited and pumped about things, I want to get them out there while they are fresh!

But it makes it hard for me to focus. I have all of these thoughts swirling around in my brain. I feel like I have to get certain things done right away. I am agitated if I don’t.

Part of me enjoys the rush that I create for myself. The realistic part of me knows it’s a problem.

I’m hoping someone can relate? It’s one of those things where I feel like “Boo-hoo, I’m the only one” but I can’t be… right?

(Note, while I was finishing writing this, I got another blog idea in my head and had to open a new tab to start typing that out).

*Related, have you read the article titled “Your Better Half” in the January 2010 issue of Runner’s World? Great article. It’s about turning your inner critic into your biggest fan. I paid close attention to the little part about taking a day off when you don’t want to.

Comments (32)

By kilax, December 1, 2009 5:26 am

When we were done painting the guest bedroom, we decided not to put the dresser back in there because it takes up too much space. Instead, we put some shelves up where the dresser was, and are temporarily storing the dresser in our room. We now have three dressers in our room that are not being used – and this new one which doesn’t even match the others! Ha ha. Our long term plan is to re-finish the dresser we just brought into our room and its match in the guest bedroom, and get rid of the two in our room now. Anyway.

The Lone Dresser. Data likes to run across the room and jump onto it, then on to the treadmill.

On Saturday night, Steven and I were discussing the design of the dresser, and how it’s silly that it looks like it has small drawers on the top, but it really doesn’t. We started to open the drawers to look at how it is built and…

… we found a drawer full of STUFF!!! Holiday stuff!* Stockings filled with goodies and other treats! My mother must have hid them in there when she visited two weekends ago!**

The loot!

Of course, we went through everything right away. I am not sure when we were supposed to find the stockings, but it was so exciting to find a holiday gifts so early!

My mother is so thoughtful. She is constantly thinking of how other people feel, and how her actions affect other people. I think this is a wonderful characteristic, and wish I knew more people like her.

Do you know anyone who is super caring, thoughtful and considerate? How do they inspire you?

I like to think a bit of this rubbed off on me, because I do seem to be hyper-aware of how other people are feeling, and I try to do thoughtful “out-of-the-blue” things for them. Of course, my budget doesn’t always allow it!

Besides this drawer full of goodies, my mom sends me cards throughout the year, and even surprise gifts! Two Decembers ago, I was telling Steven how I really wanted the game Apples to Apples, and it just appeared on my doorstep the next night – from my mother! She also sent me the book Thrive: The Vegan Nutrition Guide to Optimal Performance in Sports and Life this past October, as a surprise, just because she knew I wanted it (watch for an upcoming review of the book).

And I really shouldn’t leave my dad out – I’m sure he was a part of all that. I know he was in charge of sending me my care packages (scroll down to 2/23 post) when I lived in Rome!

I know some people don’t like surprises, but to me, it always feels good when I know someone went above and beyond because they were thinking about me.

Here’s a better question, how do you plan on being thoughtful this holiday season?

Side Note: Don’t forget to enter my Eating Animals Giveaway!

*Because I am crazy, I thought I had hid all of this stuff in there for a split second.
**Ha ha ha. I didn’t have the opportunity to talk to my mom about this until yesterday. But I tricked her and told her we had Salvation Army come up and pick up all the dressers. Ha ha! She freaked out for a minute. “I thought you were going to keep them!” “You said you were going to paint them!” “You said you were going to get rid of the other one.” I’m SO MEAN. She told me she hid the stockings there when I was running the Friday night they visited. Everyone told her not to hide them there (that we would find them) but she said, “Kim said she doesn’t use her dressers!” I don’t use them – it was completely by chance that we opened them. My poor mom. I ruined her surprise! She was going to call us Christmas morning and tell us to look in the dresser. What a thoughtful idea. She said on the phone “Did Data see them too?!” He did. “No one will be surprised!” But I let her know she made my day!