Comments (18)

By kilax, July 22, 2008 12:56 pm

On Tuesday mornings, sales representatives visit our office to promote their products, as well as (more importantly?) give us free breakfast.

Every week it’s something different – bagels, croissants, yogurt, huge fruit platters, quiche (someone brought two huge quiches today!), donuts, etc.

Normal people can go to the presentation, listen to it, wait patiently to grab one thing to eat at their desk, and call it a day. Not me. I have the unique capability to eat and eat and eat, whether or not it tastes good, until I get too lazy to get up anymore.

So since I have been trying to eat healthy lately, I’ve been attending the presentations, but not eating ANYTHING AT ALL (with the small, occasional exception of a few bites of fresh fruit). Even though the quiche smells amazing, the croissants look incredibly soft and flaky, and they brought that yummy strawberry cream cheese… I am mentally saying “no.”

And that is because I don’t know moderation. Only restriction and indulgence.

I’ve never learned moderation. Even when I’ve been at my healthiest, I’ve still been extremely careful about what I eat. I’ve flirted with moderation a bit – counting out how many chips is a serving, only eating one piece of chocolate. Yeah, it feels good to have that control, but it is not something that comes natural.

I’ve always been an “all-or-nothing” person when it comes to eating. So that is why I will write here that I am eating healthy, but then when we go out together, I’ll stuff my face. That’s because I’d rather eat what I want at a restaurant then eat something “healthy” that isn’t what I really wanted… and probably doesn’t even taste that good! And after I eat all of that yummy restaurant food, I will get back on my healthy eating plan.

I know I should be able to eat half a croissant, or half of a veggie burger, or whatever, and moderate it. But I can’t. I’m really trying to work on it so I can be a more normal person though.

On the side: I constantly feel like I am repeating myself here. Constantly. Ha. I think half of that feeling is true – I AM repeating myself. But I think the other half is that I am so familiar with the thoughts I am sharing with you, I only FEEL like I am repeating myself. So, if I really am repeating topics… sorry!