Comments (8)

By kilax, May 20, 2009 6:39 am

I liked today’s Runner’s World Quote of the Day:

The quote says: Running gives me a sense of controlling my life. I like the finiteness of runs, the fact that I have a clear beginning and end. I set a goal and achieve it. A good run makes you feel sort of holy.

Except for the whole “feeling holy” part (what does that even mean?), I can totally relate to this.

I am someone who struggles with having control in their life. I need structure. I need goals/milestones/guidelines. I can be easy going and go with the flow of things, but I am someone who works best with a PLAN.

Running gives me the opportunity to have long-term goals and plans to achieve them, along with mini daily goals. I DO feel accomplished when I have it in my mind that I am going to run a certain distance/time that day, then I go out and do it. It’s maybe the one thing in my life that is simple enough I CAN control on a daily basis.

My only worry with this is that I am TOO goal-oriented. Honestly, I was feeling a bit lost in my running until I signed up for the Kansas City Marathon. I felt worried that I would “lose” my endurance if I wasn’t following a training plan. Even now, I am keeping up around 20+/- miles a week, but I still feel lost/unstructured, because my official training does not start until 6/15.

And surprisingly, feeling lost in running spilled over into feeling “uneasy” in general. I was really, really anxious until I selected my next goal and developed my next plan. I guess running truly is my balance now.

So, while I think it is good to have plans and goals to follow, because they make me feel like I have some control, I realize that I have some sort of addiction. Steven actually told me he thinks I have compulsive behavior when it comes to running (and other things) – he thinks I set my mind on something, and won’t stop until I achieve it (or something like that – he wasn’t trying to insult me). That can be both good and bad. It would be really good if I could take some of that and apply it to other life goals (oh you know, like getting licensed, blah de blah), but for now, my focus seems to be on running. Which is good… until I become too obsessive. And I don’t feel like I am there yet. Ha!

This is actually not meant to be a post all about running, but about control and goals, and I think it could apply to a lot of different behaviors or activities. Do you feel like there are elements in your life that you feel you have control over, and bring you a sense of accomplishment, or calm?

Comments (13)

By kilax, May 9, 2009 5:52 pm

Things making me happy this Saturday:

• Sleeping in until 9:30!
• Waking up to Steven making banana donuts.
• Steven helping me find vegan-friendly* products at Target.
• Buying a dry-erase calendar to keep track of events/training!**



Too lazy to take a photo with my actual camera!

• Running an overcast 34:24 4-miler
• Registering for the 10/17/09 Kansas City Marathon. Steven and I discussed our long-term fitness goals a lot this week. He is going to start the 90-day P90X workout series soon, and focus on building muscle, along with becoming a better***/faster runner. I am going to start the marathon training in June, and focus on endurance, as well as speed training and mileage upkeep in the meantime. Steven told me to go ahead and register for the Chicago Marathon (through a charity) without him, that he would be a spectator, but I really don’t want to run that one without him, or search for a charity to raise money for that I am not 100% behind. I want to save the Chicago Marathon for something special that we can do together, whenever that may be. I chose Kansas City because it is still in the midwest (won’t have any travel shock), is a “smaller” race, and is Steven’s hometown – his parents, brother and a lot of friends still live there. And since the Kansas City Marathon registration is open until the day before the race, he is going to see how he feels about jumping in on the marathon training with me, and either sign up for the half marathon or full marathon version of that race.
• Steven getting to work on the Datsun 280Z today.
• Knowing we get to go to the park to run and see Star Trek tomorrow!

What’s making you happy today (whether or not it’s Saturday when you read this!)?

*I am planning on making trying veganism soon, and his support really means A LOT to me.
**I love calendars. I love writing out what I have to do and crossing it off. This makes me really giddy.
***Not better as in “faster is better,” but better as in, better breathing, better form, etc.