Comments (29)

By kilax, December 28, 2009 6:55 am

Yeah, this is going to come off as cheesy, but I have to get it out there.

I had a lot of  “how lucky am I?!” realizations this year. Without going into too much detail, I will just say that 2009 involved some changes in our financial situation, and I had a hard time adapting. Not that we were spendthrifts before… we weren’t. We just didn’t have to think twice about going out to the movies, to Subway, or where to buy groceries.

Now we rarely eat out, only see movies if we have a gift card, and do most of our shopping at a discount store.

And it’s no big deal.

But change is hard.

I am embarrassed at how long it took me to adapt to being more financially aware. And embarrassed at how long it took me to realize how lucky I am as it is.

I have a roof over my head. I can still afford to make payments on a luxury car. I don’t go hungry. I have a gym to use. I have a wii to play. We can still afford Netflix. We’re healthy. I can run!

And most importantly of all, I have wonderful people in my life. People who love me enough to come all the way out to the Chicago suburbs to see me. Friends who send me emails and snail mail. Blogger friends who actually read what I write and leave me wonderful and thoughtful comments!

And of course, my partners-in-crime – Steven and Data. I cannot even count how many times this year I have looked at my husband and thought, “How did I get so lucky? How is it that I ended up with him? How lucky am I that we ran into each other at that random party at college?” We have so much fun together. I think we help each other be a better person. We support each other. We let each other be themselves. We work through things the best we can. I just feel so lucky to have found a wonderful partner.

Yeah. I told you it was cheesy.

I don’t want to make resolutions, but this seems to be something I am thinking about a lot (last week too), so I’d like to work towards being more grateful and mindful in 2010. I want to live in the moment. No more looking forward. I need to be grateful for what is in front of me. What I already have. Aspirations and goals are great, but I need to keep in mind how lucky I already am.

Do you have the “how lucky am I?!” moments? Share them!

And how could I NOT be grateful for this little furball? He even helps me with blogging. Hmm, maybe that should be “help” in parenthesis!

Comments (14)

By kilax, March 17, 2009 6:54 am

Do you ever have a strong urge to call a friend and let all of your emotions and frustrations out, but you hold back, because you don’t want to burden/bother them?

What is with the filter?

I had a day yesterday, that, let’s just say, didn’t make my sour weekend mood go away. Let’s just say it built on it. There’s a lot going at work. It’s nothing bad that reflects on me individually, but something that affects my organization. It was enough to stress me out after I left work and make me have dreams about it last night.

I needed to call someone last night and talk about it. I used to always call my mom first. She has always been my #1 go-to person, and probably always will be. She’s a great listener, and always gives me the reaction I need.

But she’s not always available. She has important daily commitments. And I don’t want to bother her when she’s busy. And quite honestly, I am selfish, and I don’t feel like I get the attention I need when she’s busy (makes sense – she’s busy).

So last night, I had the urge to call a friend first. Someone who is also a good listener. Someone who can relate.

But, I didn’t. I didn’t want to burden her with my work stress, when she already has her work stress.

Thinking about it now, that’s bull-crap. Our relationship is not set up on the premise that we both have perfectly wonderful lives with no stress. Yeah, we’re both generally happy and know we have a lot to be grateful for, but what’s to say I can’t call her and just let her know how stressed I am at the moment?

I believe it’s fine to say I am stressed out about my job right now, without having to justify it with “I am grateful to have a job.” OF COURSE I am. But for the moment, I let that hold me back.

I believe my friend and I are both the nurturing type. We have the tendency to listen a lot to other people’s problems first, before we share ours. It’s not that we don’t share them, just that we don’t prioritize them all the time. We maybe sit on them. I sometimes do, anyway.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’ve had strong urges to reach out and call her other times. Once, when I was having some food related issues. I just needed to talk to someone who understood. But still, I held back.

If I am lucky enough to have this wonderful, understanding friend that I can relate to, and who is also a great listener, why don’t I let myself be 100% MYSELF to her?