Comments (34)

By kilax, December 7, 2008 9:57 pm

So, what is the big decision I’ve alluded to a few times that had me all stressed out and feeling guilty?

I’m starting a new job tomorrow.

Yeah, it’s not really a big deal to start a new job. Because usually, when you start a new job, you were looking for one, or you hated your boss, or you were bored to death.

But I didn’t have any of that. I was happy at work, but this opportunity fell into my lap, and I had to ask myself “Would I regret not taking this job in a few months?” The answer was yes.

It took me a long time to make the decision though. It wasn’t as easy as following my gut. I wasn’t used to putting that much thought into a decision.

The decision-making process really stressed me out, especially since I talked to my bosses about it first, who I think were somewhat shocked. Then… I was at work for another three to four weeks while I waited to get clearance for the new job.

So, this last month has kind of been hell. I’ve just felt so guilty about making the decision to try something new… and to leave a firm I really care about.

And some people weren’t so nice to me about it. But that’s okay. A lot of other people were really supportive, and I appreciate that. You all know who you are – thank you.

When I was making the decision, I realized that the two most important opinions in my life are mine and my husbands. No one else is 100% considering my best interest when they give me advice. Even Steven probably isn’t from time to time.

I don’t say that to put down the other people that are close to me in my life. I am just trying to say that the only person’s approval I look for, if anyone’s, beside my own, is my husband’s. I want him to be proud of me, and back the decisions I make. He was very supportive throughout the whole process, and that made me feel so much better.

Sometimes, we live our lives for someone else’s approval. We are always trying to please other people. It’s important to think about whose approval you really want. I realized that I was prone to want to make decisions based on what other people would approve of. I had to make the decision that was best for me, and it was hard. It made me feel awful.

Anyway. Tomorrow is my first day. I am excited to start something new!

Comments (10)

By kilax, October 28, 2008 1:07 pm

While reviewing my senior portfolio, one of my college professors (a mentor, really) advised me not to go into a specialized field when making my “first job out of college” decision. He explained that he worked for a firm in Chicago known for designing skyscrapers. After he left that firm, every other place he worked for wanted him to design skyscrapers – even if other projects were going on in the office.

I was walking to work yesterday thinking about this. I passed a building that is being renovated – they are tearing down the exterior to install new offices.

Seeing that made me think about the fact that all I do is interior build-outs. We don’t do any “ground-up” construction. I am only getting experience in… a somewhat specialized field. I wonder if I should be trying to learn other things.

I wonder if I should take my professor’s advice.

I should just be cautious.

I love what I do and really like the people I work with. I just think about these things… from time to time.

Comments (12)

By kilax, August 26, 2008 1:50 pm

Yesterday was my sister Christina’s nineteenth birthday AND her first day of class (Happy Birthday, right?!). [She is applying to the interior design program this winter, so she is taking classes similar to the ones I took! Drafting! Elements of Design! Woo-hoo! Maybe someday we will work together…]

We took her skydiving for her birthday back in July, but Steven and I still sent her a gift – this “sisters” necklace. I bought one for myself as well.

Christina is the only sister I have, but she has a lot of other sisters – sorority sisters.

And here’s the part where I try to explain what it is like to be jealous of a bunch of girls that I have never even met.

I feel like I wasted most of our time growing up together, playing the part of the bitchy older sister (while she was perhaps playing the part of the bratty younger sister?). We’re only five years apart, but I never felt like we were even close to being in the same stage of our lives during those five years – until the last few years.

Now it’s like I’ve met this really cool person for the first time and I want to spend a lot of time with them, but I can’t – because they live in a different state than me.

Don’t get me wrong – I’ve always loved my sister to death, and would do anything for her. There’s never been a huge rift between us, I just never felt a true sisterly bond with her. Not like this anyway.

Hence, why I am jealous of all of her sorority sisters – that get to live with her, and hang out with her, and share all their day-to-day adventures with her. While I am lucky if I even get to see her 10 times a year.

Comments (18)

By kilax, June 30, 2008 5:45 am

I love seeing the inside of someone else’s house for the first time. I like to see what color their walls are painted, if they have any artwork or plants, what their furniture is like, if they have a library… how organized their house is, and so on…

Is this an “architect-thing” or a human curiosity thing? Do you notice anything in particular when you visit someone else’s house for the first time?