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By kilax, May 22, 2008 5:34 am

Steven called me yesterday at work to tease me. “I have a surprise for you.”

“Oh! What is it?”

“You have to wait until you get home tonight.”

“You turd.”

I love surprises. I looked forward to it all day. I was having a crappy day. I got home and my surprise was… a bag of bath goodies from Lush, the “fresh handmade cosmetics” store. YAY!!! Steven got me bath bombs and bath bars, for soaking in nice, long, hot baths. Which is just what I need to relax, because I have been such a cranky you-know-what lately. Especially to him. (Maybe that was the inspiration?)

What a sweetie. I’m still smiling.

Of course, this reminded me of another story. It’s story-time kids! Sick of it yet? Please tell me if I am repeating previous stories.

Last year I was flying to Denmark from O’Hare airport, and Steven decided to come have dinner with me before my flight took off. He did the same thing; called and said, “I have a surprise for you.”

I excitedly told a few of my classmates, “My fiance has a surprise for me! I wonder what it is!”

So the first thing I said to Steven when we sat down at the dinner table was “What’s my surprise? Where is it?!”

He opened up his briefcase and handed me…

… a calendar. From Chipotle. With pictures of burritos for each month.

Seriously.

I was so mean! I said “THIS is it?”

“Yeah,” was his reply. “We both love burritos so much, I bought one for each of us.”

I still feel bad for having such a mean reaction. Because it was a really sweet and thoughtful gift (that I used ALL year long), just not what I was expecting.

My friends asked me what Steven gave me when I got back from dinner. I pulled it out of my bag and handed it to them.

“Sweet! Where can I get one of these?!” Their reaction was genuine.

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Today’s Idiom: thumb’s down – signal of rejection (Roman emperors could condemn a gladiator who fought poorly by turning their thumbs down)

Steven gave my gutter ball a thumb’s down. Unfortunately, I didn’t do any better in the second frame.

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By kilax, January 15, 2008 8:18 am

There is a quote from Susan Sarandon’s character, Beverly Clark, in Shall We Dance? that I think of often. She is talking about why she thinks people get married:

“We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet … I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things … all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness’.”

I think this quote applies not only to marriage, but to any long-lasting relationship. But of course, my point in this post is to tell you how this quote has brought new meaning to me since getting married.

When I first saw this movie in 2005, I interpreted this quote negatively – as this witness role being a burden. I took it as meaning, “no one life is unique, so everyone needs a partner to make it feel that it is.” My interpretation supported a personal belief of mine – that the reason people are in relationships is to feel special (and, well, loved!).

Now, I feel differently. After getting married, I had some sort of mind shift. My independent mind suddenly realized I had another person to rely on, another person to care for, another person’s life to take as seriously as my own.

I wish I could explain it better.

Now, I interpret the witness role completely differently. It’s not that of an indifferent witness, but that of a caring, loving, involved (although “involved” goes against the meaning of the word) witness.

For me, marriage has been like living two lives. My own, and that of my husband. His concerns are mine, his anxieties are mine, his cares are mine. Of course, they were before marriage, but never this deeply.

Maybe this is what really connecting with another person is?

Anyway, I think I am realizing that this type of relationship has helped me “see the bigger picture.” It’s helped me, “not sweat the small things.” It’s helped me be less selfish, by understanding someone else’s needs and desires.

I think this type of relationship is capable on many levels – between family, friends and spouses – this is just the first time I have experienced it.

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By kilax, December 25, 2007 9:34 am

Happy Holidays from me and the boys…

… who will probably remain in this position all day long.

We plan to spend the day eating fettucine alfredo, rolls, stuffing, pumpkin pie, and sugar cookies (jealous of our amazing menu?) while watching movies on our new 50″ plasma. It should be a nice, relaxing day.

Happy Holidays to everyone! I hope your day is filled with fun and laughter!

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By kilax, December 22, 2007 9:04 am

Today is Steven’s birthday and I am really excited to give him the two gifts I got him – a watch case engraved with his initials, and a watch:

Steven doesn’t like surprises. I love surprises. So every year, I buy him something not on his wish list, in hope that he will start to love surprises like I do.

And every year, he guesses what the thing is I bought him. Even though it wasn’t on his list. This year was no different! How does he do it? Am I that obvious?

Oh well, I still enjoy pretending that I was really clever and bought him something he would never figure out.

Happy Birthday, Steven.

Comments (9)

By kilax, December 18, 2007 5:50 am

I think I may have inadvertently insulted my husband’s manhood the other day.

I went outside on Sunday to begin the 20-minute long process of cleaning ALL the snow off of my car. I decided to go above and beyond, by opening my hood and brushing off all the hard-to-get-to snow from around the windshield wipers.

In the process, I noticed my engine coolant tank was low. I went into the house and asked Steven if I could borrow his phone.

“Sure,” he replied. “Who are you calling?”

“My dad.”

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“No. I just noticed the antifreeze is low in my car. So I am going to call my dad and ask him what to do.”

He hesitated before speaking. “Why didn’t you just ask me for help?”

“Because my dad’s a mechanic!”

Ouch.

Of course, my dad told me to do the exact same thing that Steven would have, if I had given him the chance.

But I did ask Steven to put the antifreeze in my car – that must count for something!

Comments (12)

By kilax, December 11, 2007 5:49 am

The last time I checked, the whip was not considered a musical instrument.

Of course, that was a long time ago.

My charming husband insists that a whip noise(s) can be added to any song. Even county music. Even classical music. And apparently, especially holiday music.

My ride home with Steven last night was especially fun. I got to hear his “expert-level” whip noises added to “O Holy Night,” “Christmas Shoes,” “Linus and Lucy,” and Dolly Parton and Kenny Roger’s “A Christmas to Remember.” A youtube video may be in production soon.

If you don’t know Steven, this is probably not that funny; but he’s really such a goofball. And so much fun. He acts all serious around my friends and coworkers (and sometimes family) but when we’re alone he is completely different. I imagine it is this way with a lot of couples.

Also, it’s nice to know I’m not the only crazy one.

Comments (10)

By kilax, December 5, 2007 5:19 am

Wives must never forget this Bible verse, as it is written in the Book of Steven:

If thine husband dost desire pizza during a snowstorm, thou shalt drivest to pick it up after work. Pronto. Snap snap!

Driving in a snowstorm makes me a lot more nervous than it used to. I get in the car and all I can feel is my heart heavily pounding in my chest. I think I have used up all of my “get away free” cards when it comes to accidents in snowy weather… so I would rather just stay inside. Or take public transportation!

The pizza was good though.