Comments (11)

By kilax, February 18, 2009 5:55 pm

It’s been four weeks since I started participating in my office’s Biggest Loser Challenge. We’re one-third of the way done with the challenge. So far, I’ve lost 5.21% of my starting weight.

I have to admit that the competition made me feel a bit different than I expected it would. I’ve been fine weighing-in in front of my coworker. That doesn’t bother me at all.

But when the results were emailed out the first week, and I saw that I was in the top three, I felt a bit of competitiveness. I saw that I was doing well, and wanted to stay in the top. That feeling didn’t last very long, but I admit it was there for a second.

And I wasn’t expecting my coworkers to be so encouraging about the Challenge, but they are. Participating has actually opened up a lot of communication about health and fitness. I found out another coworker loves to run, and that another group of coworkers walk the stairs in our building at the beginning of their lunch break. I am not sure how long these conversations will be around, but I enjoy participating in them (I even laughed when someone, who ISN’T participating, saw that I was in the kitchen making oatmeal for breakfast, and asked what I had… wanting to make sure I was still in the competition… uh… yeah).

The most interesting thing I’ve learned, now that a month is over and I have tracked my progress, is how little my weight actually has to do with how I feel, what I eat, and how much exercise I am getting. One week, I ran around 22 miles, ate like a saint, but somehow gained .2 pounds. The next week, I spent three days eating nothing but carbs and sweets – I was in Denver, and I was there to have fun. I lost 3.4 pounds that week. So, my body is on its own path. What I weigh on any particular day is just a flux number – it doesn’t really mean anything. It goes up and down based on my hormones, how much water I drink, if I eat salty foods… you get the idea.

It’s funny that tracking my weight like this, what so many people DON’T recommend, is what has made me accept that my weight is JUST a number. I hope the challenge continues to let me become more accepting of my body!

Comments (18)

By kilax, January 26, 2009 10:34 pm

“When you swim, you’re gonna get water up your nose. When you ski, you’re gonna fall down. When you fence, you’re gonna get stabbed.”

That’s one of the first things our fencing instructor told us tonight. He was being humorous, explaining the different pieces of clothing you wear to protect your body (I remembered the chest protection, Kyra!).

Are you intimidated? Or at least laughing?

The first night of class was a lot of fun. I wasn’t really looking forward to it, since I have a nasty cold, but moving about seemed to lift my spirits.

We covered equipment, basic footwork and a few positions (if that’s what they’re called?). I can tell this is going to be another sport that adds definition to my already rock hard quads. There is a lot of lunging, and footwork that involves balancing your body weight on slightly bent knees (so much for focusing on different muscle groups on my “cross-training” night).

I am looking forward to when I actually get to fence with Steven. We are already prancing around the house with wooden spoons, practicing our moves (okay, I had a wooden spoon – he was holding Data). I have a feeling this is going to take a lot of practice, since I am a naturally uncoordinated, and this requires a lot of… coordination! But I think it will be a fun diversion from our normal day.

Comments (18)

By kilax, January 20, 2009 1:01 pm

Someone in my office is organizing a 12-week biggest loser (weight loss) challenge. You buy in for $12.  You weigh in each week by Wednesday afternoon (I’ll weigh in on Tuesdays). You pay $2 for each pound gained a week, and $2 if you miss a weigh-in without advance warning. To buy out of the competition, you have to pay out $2 for each week remaining. The cash prize is split between the top 3 losers in the end (55%, 25% and 20% – the winner is calculated by percentage lost, not total pounds).

This has “bad idea” written ALL over it, right?

Of course, I signed up.

I don’t think the idea of winning money will motivate me to lose weight. Or the idea of having to pay money for weight gained. And I don’t even think having someone holding me accountable will make me work any harder either. It might make me feel guilty if I gain weight, but that’s about it.

I think I just thought, “What the hell – I am training for a half marathon and pretty soon I will be putting in between 20-25 miles a week on the treadmill. I might end up losing some weight naturally.” We’ll see what comes of that.

Would you participate in something like this? It seems a bit too private to take to work, but because I’ve just started at this office, and barely know anyone, I don’t care if one person knows what my weight is from week to week.

Revealing it on this blog though, feels impossible. It’s not that I am embarrassed by it; it’s just information I would prefer not to share with family. They already know enough about me and my food struggles as it is, reading this crap. I feel like a number makes my problems even more tangible.

Comments (13)

By kilax, January 19, 2009 9:16 pm

My entire right arm, right shoulder and the right side of my neck are sore. It’s the result of carrying too heavy of a purse for too long, bowling* for the first time in months on Saturday, and playing Wii Tennis** a bit too intensely on Sunday.

The funny thing is, I’ve been ignoring the neck pain caused by my purse for a couple of months. It wasn’t until this Saturday, when the pain spread to my shoulder, that I thought I better do something about it, because I was worried it would affect my running. Since I’ve been training for the half marathon, I’ve really become more in touch with how my body feels when running, and what I need to do before and after running to make it feel its best. My neck wasn’t bothering me too much while running, but I could tell the shoulder pain was going to turn into something awful if I didn’t act on it. So I am acting on it. So I can run better.

It’s really interesting, to follow a half marathon training program, and learn so much about my body while I am doing it. I just never expected to become so in touch with what my body likes and doesn’t like. I won’t go into details, but I’ve learned how important my diet is when it comes to running. If I am running that night, I need to stick to my healthy diet throughout the day, or I am going to be sluggish and uncomfortable on the treadmill. And the thing is, when I am running that night, I DO want to stick to my healthy diet. I am enjoying the training so far and how it makes me feel. I just hope I don’t have any more interruptions in my training schedule. December through mid-January has been hell on my schedule.

*Remember when all I used to blog about was bowling? Then our summer league ended, I and quit playing, because my hip was killing me, and I wanted to focus on running. Well, even though it took me an embarrassingly long time to get back into the swing of things on Saturday, I had a lot of fun, and I miss it.

**Christina and Kyle came to visit us this weekend! We spent ALL day Sunday at home, playing Wii and… playing Wii. Maybe we watched a DVD? I don’t recall. Anyway, I’ve had the Wii for over 5 months and NEVER played Wii Tennis. Kyle and I were fooling around with it, and convinced Christina and Steven to join us after our late lunch. We ALL became ADDICTED! Christina and I had to go change into gym clothes because we were working up such a sweat! Why didn’t anyone tell me Wii Tennis is so fun? I think we spent over 3 hours playing it yesterday. Christina and I were teamed up against Steven and Kyle most of the time, then we let the two of them duke it out, “competitive ass” style.

Competitive asses in action.

FYI: I haven’t really been feeling like myself lately, and I realize that this blog post is a big steaming pile of crap. And… it took me almost 2 hours to write. I mainly wrote it to make Christina happy… are you happy now Christina, are you?!?! Ha ha. Come back to Chicago!

Comments (26)

By kilax, January 9, 2009 9:19 am

Is it harder for you to eat healthy or get exercise?

Last week a friend told us he had lost 40 pounds since the last time we saw him. We asked if he changed his diet and started exercising, and he kind of laughed, saying he was just eating healthier, not exercising.

Of course, that got me thinking…

Whenever I start on one (ha) of my healthy lifestyle quests, I always start by eating healthier. For me, that is easier. I can’t even begin to think about exercise until my body feels a bit healthier/lighter.

Even now, if I eat something crappy during the day, I feel awful when I am exercising at night. That’s kind of where I am right now, getting my diet back on track so I can start exercising 5+ days a week again.

Comments (20)

By kilax, December 6, 2008 2:28 pm

When you wake up at 7:30 on a Saturday morning, still recovering from a bad cold, and look out the window to see the ground covered with fresh snow, and more snow coming down… what do you do?

You get out of bed to run a 5K! Ha!

Mr. and Mrs. Santa Runners

Today we ran the Santa Sleigh 5K, for the Arlington Heights Rotary. I’ll admit, the big thing that got me to run this race is that EVERYONE is given a Santa costume to wear! (And yes, we did get to keep our costumes)

Santas at the starting line

I was laughing so hard when we driving around to park our car, because we were seeing all these random groups of Santas walking to the race.

During the race

The race went very well, considering that it was snowing and slushy, that we haven’t been running as much lately, that I am recovering from the cold from hell, that we ate Mexican food last night, and that I had to hold my pants up during the entire race (we got there 20 minutes before start and I think all they had left were the XL and larger sizes). I think we finished just after the 30 minute mark.

My disheveled post race outfit

The Santa beard actually kept my face surprisingly warm! I told Steven I think I am going to start wearing it during my walk to work in the mornings! Ha ha.

I think this is going to be our last 5K in 2008. It’s getting a bit cold outside. We plan to keep training during the winter, and maybe run a half marathon in the spring!

Comments (18)

By kilax, November 25, 2008 5:24 am

Last week I only ran ONE DAY. Not because I was lazy, or not in the mood, but because all of my nights were occupied with painting our bedroom, being sick, or having a migraine (wonderful week, right? And yeah, I still owe you some photos of the new paint).

On Thursday (the day with the migraine), I decided I HAD to run on Friday. All week I could feel the urge to run in my legs – when I was walking to work in the morning, I would wish I was running. I ran a little bit on the train platform (to get around some slow people) and I didn’t want to stop. But the only way to run on Friday was to do it in the morning, because I was going to be with my family all night.

So on Friday, I got out of my warm bed at 4:00 a.m. to go run in the 20°F weather. Steven made sure to call me a “crazy runner” when I woke him up to tell him not to be startled when I opened the garage door.

I felt like I was crazy, putting on long running tights under my pants, thick cold weather socks, Under Armour under a long-sleeved shirt under a jacket, along with gloves and a hat. But I knew I would warm up.

And I did. I walked a cold 5-minute walk to warm up then started my run, and felt fine after a minute or so. I had my mp3 player on, and the upbeat tunes made me feel energized. It was actually a pretty good run, despite being so gosh darn early and so gosh darn cold. The only bad parts were that my thick socks kept making my shoes untie (duh, I need to double knot them) and that I got cold when I stopped to walk back to the house (I’ll just run home next time).

When I got done with my run and got home, I felt completely energized. I ran up the stairs to take my shower. I thought, “This is a great way to start my day! I feel great!”

Yeah, it’s a great way to start my day… if I could be in bed by 9:00 every night!

So, I’ll try it for a few days this week, and whenever I need to, because of time constraints. But I really can’t do this all the time. I feel too exhausted by the end of the day.

It’s a shame, because I really prefer to exercise in the morning. I have that great, “I exercised this morning!” feeling, and I feel just the right amount of tired when I go to bed at night. And my stomach doesn’t get upset because I am running right after dinner.

But it just doesn’t work with my schedule all the time. And I DO prefer to run with Steven. So I guess I just need to fit it in whenever I can.

Comments (20)

By kilax, November 24, 2008 1:17 pm

When I went to bed last night, feeling like I was going to throw up from sugar overload, I said, “I don’t want to bake, see or eat another cookie EVER again.”

But when I woke up this morning with a splitting sugar-induced headache, and went downstairs to feed Data, I almost ate one of the cookies sitting out on the counter.

What is that about?

We ended up making 7 different sweets this weekend – caramel popcorn, frosted sugar cookies, caramels, kringla, snickerdoodles, fruitcake and no-bake cookies (we also had toffee and crispix mix to put in all of the gift baskets).

My favorite treat we made – Sugar Cookie Reindeer!

All the sweets we made

Some of the wrapped gift baskets

We had a few issues though. And that made the day a lot more stressful. The first batch of caramels took over an hour to make and turned out too hard. The fruitcake wouldn’t bake, so that ended up being a waste. The kringla got burnt because the temperature was too high on the recipe – only half the batch turned out.

Ugh. At the end of the day, I think all of us were thinking, “Why did we want to do all this?” We still had a ton of fun, but it was too much work. My back has hurt all weekend from standing on my feet so much. And I am dead tired. Oh well. That’s why I took the day off – to catch on rest.

We talked about getting together again next year around this time – but not doing all the baking. Ha!

And now…

… so forget everything I wrote on Saturday about being in control of my eating. Yeah, I was on Saturday, but yesterday was like a free for all with the cookies and sweets we made. I don’t know WHY I thought I would be able to resist. I tried for awhile, but that didn’t really amount to anything.

I am sick of thinking about it and writing about it, but it really helps. So bear with me.

I loved Diane’s comment on my post on Saturday:

Try not to worry too much about gaining weight. I mean, I think it is sort of inevitable that we are all going to do that this week, and that lots of sugar and comfort foods will bloat us up a bit. But real substantial weight gain happens over a long period of time. Get back to your routine as soon as you can and you will be fine!

I felt a lot better after I read that. Because it’s true. I AM going to eat more during the holidays. If I didn’t, I would feel deprived. And all I need to do is get back to my routine as soon as possible.

I realized that there are at least two patterns to my overeating – my crazy, “out-of-control” binges where I stuff my face with whatever is in the house for a short amount of time (like 30 minutes), and the all-day free for alls where I pick and eat at things all day long – never getting uncomfortably full, but always eating, eating, eating.

I’m actually excited that I am learning what is bringing on these beahaviors. I just wish I didn’t have to deal with them to begin with. I think we all have problems though. It’s just… being human. Or… American. Or something.

Comments (14)

By kilax, November 22, 2008 11:25 am

Ask…

… and you shall receive!

My parents arrived bearing gifts last night. Yes, I know I am spoiled!

I am so completely exhausted right now. I don’t think my body has felt this physically exhausted in a long, long time.

My sister, mother, grandma and I got up early and took the train to Chicago My grandma had never been to downtown Chicago! We mostly shopped, but I also had a chance to meet up with my friend Clare, WHO I HAVE NOT SEEN SINCE SHE WAS A BRIDESMAID IN MY WEDDING OVER A YEAR AGO! (Yeah, I was a bit excited!)

Kim, Clare and Katie (a college roommate of hers)

It’s really crazy that you can feel so close to someone, after not seeing them for an entire year. I meet Clare the last semester of college, and I always wish we had gotten to know each other sooner. We immediately clicked. That doesn’t happen often. I wish we could have visited longer today, but she was in town for a conference and had to leave.

We had a lot of fun in Chicago, going to the shops on State Street and Michigan Avenue. We took the train home very late. I am so happy Steven had dinner started when we got home. We cooked, ate, did dishes… and started in with the treats! I made all of my sugar cookie dough so it could cool in the fridge overnight, and my mom started in on the caramel popcorn!

Yummy… cookie dough! I resisted!

It’s just as good as it looks!

Even though it was a somewhat stressful day – not because I am unhappy, but because a lot is going on – I still managed to be in control of my eating. Yes, I ate more than I do on a daily basis, but I didn’t stuff my face. I suppose I just hope to make it through this weekend and next week without gaining weight. It’s going to be hard though. I cannot do my normal exercise for a few days this week, and I get pretty stressed about food around Thanksgiving. But, like I’ve said before, I am just going to keep going and trying.

Comments (9)

By kilax, November 20, 2008 10:40 pm

Every once in awhile, Steven and I go to Sweet Tomatoes, our favorite buffet. We like it because they have a huge salad bar right when you walk in – that is the focus of the place. You make your salad and pay, then there is a little baked goods counter, soup counter, pasta counter, and sweets counter.

I have such a hard time going there.

Even though I make my healthy salad, and steer clear of the baked goods and grab a little dish of pasta… I just gobble it down. I get into some weird “buffet-dining” mentality that I need to eat my food as fast as possible so I can get up for more. And I always get more.

I’ve actually gotten better at eating slower at Sweet Tomatoes (and at home, and other restaurants), but every time I go there, I eat a lot more than I should. I don’t get a stomach ache or anything like that, but I just eat too much. Because it’s a buffet. And I feel all weird and rushed. And I feel deprived. And sad. Sad that I am not eating as much as I used to at a buffet, before I started caring about my health.

Today I was thinking about what it would be like to stop counting calories and just listen to my hunger. What would happen if I ate when I was hungry, rather than sticking to the allotted meals and snacks I have set up for myself throughout the day? Would I eat less? Would I eat more? Would I lose weight? Would I gain weight?

I really want to do that – stop counting, stop worrying. Stop thinking about it. But I don’t think I am ready. I really don’t think I am ready to live that guilt-free of a life. I have been having some binging issues lately. I’ve been avoiding some emotions, and eating them out instead. I feel that, until I conquer emotional eating, I may not be ready to listen to my hunger, because I am not really listening to it. I am letting my emotions dictate my eating patterns. And that just feels awful.

I am just going to see how the next few weeks go. This is a stressful time for me. I’d still like to lose some weight, and I think counting calories may be the way to do that. Oh, and avoiding the buffet.

On the side: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE someone help me with wordpress. I could not login to my admin panel tonight for a very long time. It just kept resetting every time I entered my login and password. I tried a million things to fix it, and nothing worked very well. I am not sure what finally got it.