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By kilax, January 12, 2010 5:31 am

Thank you for all of your feedback and questions yesterday – I really appreciate it. I am taking many notes to review. Keep the suggestions/questions coming!

I have to share a little secret – I have been weighing myself every single day since October 17th.

And to make it worse? I have been tracking every weigh-in in excel. Oh yes, so I can make fun charts like this:

What does this all mean?

That I am about to get chewed out for weighing myself 7 times a week?

Actually, it means that I have been using the home scale since October 17th and have not stayed overnight anywhere since then.

Well, that is about to change! We’re going to Barbados!

Ha! Not! I wish. No, we are leaving for Iowa soon and will be there 5 nights and 4 whole days.

That is a lot of time away from the scale.

Dun dun dun… what is going to happen?

What usually happens when I visit family (or they visit) is that I lose all abandon and stuff my face silly. But these past few months we’ve had family over a few times, and I have been fine. In fact, in the past few months I have only had four incidences where I felt like I was binge-eating, and they were all at work.

So, I am feeling pretty optimistic that I can forget about that scale for (gasp!) 5 days and see what happens. I think I can have fun and eat reasonably. And I know I can fit exercise in.

But just in case, what are your tips for eating healthy when you are in a situation that normally triggers the opposite?

My tips are to focus on the company, not the food, and to drink lots of water.

Comments (22)

By kilax, January 9, 2010 6:46 am

Do you ever catch signs that you are slowly falling into a funk?

Sometimes I catch signs such as:

• losing interest in things
• being extremely irritable
• feeling anti-social
• not wanting to take care of my body
• wanting to sleep all the time
• feeling defensive and cranky

The question is, once we’ve noticed the signs, how do we avoid falling into a full fledged funk? This is something I’ve been trying to figure out for eight years.

I’ve noticed that if I develop a plan of reaction to each sign of falling into a funk, it helps. It gives me tools to use when I realize I am not feeling like myself. Now, I completely prefer preventitive actions to reactive actions, but for now, this is the best I can do.

When I first notice the signs of falling into a funk, I tell myself to pause and look at the bigger picture. Is the reason for my funk right in front of me? Is there an issue I have been avoiding? If it’s situational, and I can nip my unease in the butt by addressing the issue, I try to. Otherwise, I address each sign one by one until I work my way out of the funk. Click “more” if you’d like to read examples of my plans of reaction.

What are your tips on how to avoid falling into a funk? Do you ever catch signs that you are? What are your signs?

Continue reading 'How to avoid falling into a funk'»

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By kilax, January 8, 2010 4:26 am

What are your tips for reducing spending?

Two Mondays ago, I mentioned that we cut back on spending in 2009, and Chez Julie asked me to share some of my tips. What a great idea!

I have a lot of tips and I bet commenters will too – so don’t feel bad if you can’t read them all – PLEASE SHARE your ideas!

I broke my tips into three categories: Shopping, Entertainment and General. Click “more” to read (skim, really) on.

Continue reading 'Friday Question #95'»

Comments (28)

By kilax, January 7, 2010 4:56 am

Gossiping. We all do it from time to time. It’s so fun, yet so wrong… right?

There was an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal yesterday – “Killing Gossip with Kindness.” The article discussed methods teachers are using to quell student gossiping, rampant gossiping on the internet, and the merit of gossiping.

Quelling Gossiping in Schools

A teacher quoted in the article said kids today seem more sarcastic than past generations. She suggests to students that before saying something about someone else, to ask themselves, “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?“

What a great triad of questions to remember. It seems obvious to think through these questions before you open your mouth, but of course, we don’t. And while I have to say – I think many kids are just MEAN – I believe this exercise would be helpful and develop good habits.

Rampant Gossiping on the Internet

The article mentions the plethora of gossip online, and how it can permanently tarnish your image – because it’s online forever. We bloggers are familiar with this. People seem to be apt to say things online, behind the safety of a computer screen, that they would NEVER say in real life.

Professor Daniel Solove*, who wrote a book about internet gossip, was quoted:

Given the times we live in, he says it can’t hurt to reinforce in our children the need to ask: “Is it kind? True? Necessary?” But he suspects that “we can’t make people nicer. So we need to keep pushing legal consequences.” He advocates the strengthening of laws against Internet irresponsibility, arguing that the specter of being sued is the best weapon to slow down malicious gossip.

Can you imagine being sued for what you say online? That seems like an invasion of freedom of speech, but hey, it wouldn’t surprise me.

The Merit of Gossiping

To me, the most interesting part of the article was the section with quotes from Professor Susan Hafen**. She argues for gossiping:

In her research, she has found that workplace gossip often serves a positive function. For instance, it helps people conform: When we gossip about someone who got fired, we learn what happens to people who break the rules.

At the same time, gossip is a social interaction. “Is it kind? Is it necessary? Those are good questions,” says Dr. Hafen. “But it would be a boring world if we always had to tiptoe around, being kind. For one thing, we wouldn’t be able to tell any jokes.”

More seriously, she says, prohibiting gossip that isn’t “kind” may be a way of “avoiding unpleasantness, of fence-sitting, of not rocking the boat. If we only tell kind stories about people, then we may be avoiding holding people responsible for their actions.”

That last sentence quoted is what I struggle with – keeping my mouth shut and letting other people get away with irresponsible behavior. No matter how hard you try to communicate your concern, it can still be perceived as an attack to the person, rather than a discussion of their actions (or lack thereof).

What do you think of the article? Are you going to ask yourself “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?” Are internet laws against gossiping appropriate? Is there merit to gossiping? Do you think you need to cut back on gossiping? (please comment on what particularly interests you from the article!)

Overall, I can say I gossip much less than I used to, and that is a direct reaction to the work environment I entered in December of 2008. But, there ARE people who irk me the wrong way, ALL THE TIME, and boy, does Steven get to hear it. I make a conscious effort to try to say some nice things about them from time to time as well, but yeah, not all the time. I am going to start asking myself the three questions.

Bonus Question: Have you ever tried to remain neutral when with a group of people who are gossiping?

I have. You don’t say anything and they get VERY upset. It makes them feel bad. I’ve been in this situation a lot.

*From George Washington University Law School.
**A professor of communication at Webster State University in Ogden, Utah.

Comments (33)

By kilax, January 6, 2010 5:40 am

What’s better than arriving home to a fresh cooked meal?

Nothing, really.

When I arrive home and Steven has a warm dinner on the stove, ready for me to eat, I feel like a pampered princess.

Do you like it when someone else cooks for you? Whose cooking is your favorite? Or do you prefer to make your own food?

Last night, Steven made a modified (because we were missing a few ingredients) version of Anna’s (newlywednewlyveg) Black Bean Fiesta Soup.

Here are the original ingredients, crossed out with what we substituted. Check out her site for the full recipe! I hope you don’t mind that we changed it up a bit, Anna!

• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 3 clove(s) garlic, chopped
  
• 1 tsp. olive oil
• 1 red bell pepper, chopped 1 1/2 T. Dried Red Pepper, 1 1/2 T. Dried Green Pepper
  
• 1 4. oz. can green chilies, chopped 1 1/2 Tsp Dried Jalapeño
• 1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper
• 1/2 tsp. chili powder 1/4 tsp. Ancho Chili Powder and 1/4 tsp. Chipotle Chili Powder
  
• 1 tsp. cumin
• 1/8 tsp. turmeric
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. lime zest
• juice of one lime 1 Tsp. Lime Juice
  
• 3 2 15. oz. cans black beans, drained and rinsed
• ADDED: 1 15 oz. can pinto beans, drained and rinsed
  
• 3 cups 2 cans vegetable broth
  
• 1 15 oz. can corn
• ADDED: 1 15 oz. can diced tomatoes
  

Also, our favorite cornbread made a guest appearance. It went deliciously with this soup! I recommend trying the soup (either the original or our version). It was so tasty – perfect for a cold evening, and not too spicy!

Crap. I better be careful. I don’t want to turn into a food blogger. Stop making such tasty eats Steven! (no really, please don’t stop)

Time for another meme! Ayla (dainty vegan), Leah (why deprive), Kim (Adventures in Wanting) and Trayn Harder all gave me the Happy 101 award. Thank you! I am supposed to list 10 things that make me happy. Making this list was fun (I could have kept going past 10). I think I could do this everyday! Give it a try! Click “more” to read on.

Continue reading 'A twist on Anna’s Black Bean Fiesta Soup / Happy 101 Meme'»

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By kilax, January 5, 2010 5:04 am

Whether it’s good or bad, is it a honor or burden to be the “first to know” news?

I have a friend who tends to confide in me with news before she tells anyone else in our circle. For example, she told me she was pregnant well before she told anyone else. And I was honored! But then when she told everyone else, I had to pretend that I didn’t already know. And since some people were not happy to know the news (I know, AWFUL) I had to deal with that as well.

It’s not that big of a deal when the news is good, but now the friend confided some news in me that is others will not take so well. I admit, I am saddened by the news, but am looking at how it benefits her in the long run, so I am happy for her. Sorry to be vague (you know how it is).

So again, I am honored that she sought me out and told me first, but now, I feel somewhat burdened. I know this news, and have to wait for it to come down the pike. I have to orchestrate my reaction when I receive it from other people so it doesn’t seem like I already knew.

Maybe I’m just over thinking it.

Have you ever felt burdened by knowing a piece of news before everyone else did? Or do you find it exciting and wait for the day when the person makes the reveal?

To whom do you first tell YOUR news?

I first tell my news to… my mom. Yes, it’s true. I tell all of my BIG news to Steven first, but I call my mom to tell her I got a great deal on paper towels, made a really good wrap for lunch, am excited to see her… okay, maybe those things don’t count as news!

Comments (24)

By kilax, December 30, 2009 7:48 am

It seems like I am making a New Year’s Realization instead of a Resolution. Ha, ha… ha?

I keep putting myself on ridiculous schedules because I think it will help me out, when really, it just hinders me.

I have to STOP doing this. I have to.

Today is a perfect example. I am having lunch with a coworker and I also want to get a run in. I obviously can’t do it during lunch time anymore, so it would probably make sense to do it in the evening. No, that makes TOO MUCH SENSE, let’s get up at 4:30 so we can get to the office gym at 6:30 and put 6 miles in before work! Then, you get to run, see your friend for lunch, AND spend quality time with your husband when you get home!

It sounds so perfect when I write it all out, but Steven can tell you which one of these things doesn’t happen. By the time I get home, I am so tired from getting up so early that all I want to do is eat dinner and go to bed. I try to “relax” (how does one do that?) by sitting on the couch watching a movie, but I just feel exhausted.

And I keep doing this… why? It’s like I want to prove to myself that I CAN fit it all in to one day – working out, lunch with a friend, time with Steven, 3 hours commuting and 9.5 hours at work.

I can’t do it all. I can’t have it all. I have to prioritize. I have to be flexible/less rigid with my schedule. Ugh. I just need to learn HOW TO RELAX.

Friends, I have been fighting this for a long time. It’s what causes me to get burnt out and give up. I don’t want that to happen anymore. I am sick of yo-yoing with my weight, and really, with my life.

Do any of you ever feel like you are doing this to yourself? How to you stop/slow down?

Comments (26)

By kilax, December 29, 2009 5:14 am

According to the article “Lose the Weight: Are Your Friends a Fat Influence?” in the January issue of Women’s Health, our friends’ health decisions have a huge effect on us. So huge that the World Health Organization has listed them as a determinant of health, having as big of an influence as genetics and income level.

When I read that, I thought “Ha ha! That doesn’t affect me!”*

But then I started thinking outside of the realm of the article – about how my eating changes when I am around family. Then it hit – holy crap… their habits do affect me. When I see someone eating more, I feel like I should eat more too. When I see someone with a full plate, I feel like my plate should be full. It’s just an automatic response for me.

The article says that:

Consciously or unconsciously, people look to others when deciding what and how much to eat, and how much weight is too much.

Part of the reason we’re so easily swayed may be hardwired. Gregory Berns, M.D., Ph.D., a professor of psychiatry and economics at Emory University, found that when others influence us, the area of our brain that makes conscious decisions is not activated. Instead, the occipital lobe, where vision originates, lights up. Translation: We focus on what we see other people doing (like biting into a cupcake), not what we know is right for ourselves (biting into an apple).

So, our brains are working against us. I can believe that. I know that I often feel like I need to eat, when I am really just “fake hungry” and looking to fill some other void with food.

And unfortunately, I could relate to this:

In some cases, we may even seek out relationships that allow us to indulge, says Susan Bowerman, R.D., of UCLA’s Center for Human Nutrition. “Many women have ‘food friends’ they can call up to say, ‘I had a lousy day and some fried mozzarella sticks sure would make me feel better.'”

I had a “food friend” in college. I could pig out around her and not feel bad. Unfortunately, it didn’t have to be after a “lousy” day. It was often a weekly date!

Of course, the article mentions that this influence can be beneficial as well – your friends’ good habits can rub off on you. And in the end, it is your responsibility to make your own decisions about food, no matter how hard that is.

Ugh. It is hard. But it’s important to learn how to live in the real world and not some imaginary safe place in your head. As private as we want our food consumption to be, it really isn’t in our society.

What do you think about the article? Do you feel like your friends/family influence the way you eat? What are your tips for dealing with “fat influences**”?

*Mostly because I don’t have many friends to hang out with!
**Their term, not mine.

Comments (29)

By kilax, December 28, 2009 6:55 am

Yeah, this is going to come off as cheesy, but I have to get it out there.

I had a lot of  “how lucky am I?!” realizations this year. Without going into too much detail, I will just say that 2009 involved some changes in our financial situation, and I had a hard time adapting. Not that we were spendthrifts before… we weren’t. We just didn’t have to think twice about going out to the movies, to Subway, or where to buy groceries.

Now we rarely eat out, only see movies if we have a gift card, and do most of our shopping at a discount store.

And it’s no big deal.

But change is hard.

I am embarrassed at how long it took me to adapt to being more financially aware. And embarrassed at how long it took me to realize how lucky I am as it is.

I have a roof over my head. I can still afford to make payments on a luxury car. I don’t go hungry. I have a gym to use. I have a wii to play. We can still afford Netflix. We’re healthy. I can run!

And most importantly of all, I have wonderful people in my life. People who love me enough to come all the way out to the Chicago suburbs to see me. Friends who send me emails and snail mail. Blogger friends who actually read what I write and leave me wonderful and thoughtful comments!

And of course, my partners-in-crime – Steven and Data. I cannot even count how many times this year I have looked at my husband and thought, “How did I get so lucky? How is it that I ended up with him? How lucky am I that we ran into each other at that random party at college?” We have so much fun together. I think we help each other be a better person. We support each other. We let each other be themselves. We work through things the best we can. I just feel so lucky to have found a wonderful partner.

Yeah. I told you it was cheesy.

I don’t want to make resolutions, but this seems to be something I am thinking about a lot (last week too), so I’d like to work towards being more grateful and mindful in 2010. I want to live in the moment. No more looking forward. I need to be grateful for what is in front of me. What I already have. Aspirations and goals are great, but I need to keep in mind how lucky I already am.

Do you have the “how lucky am I?!” moments? Share them!

And how could I NOT be grateful for this little furball? He even helps me with blogging. Hmm, maybe that should be “help” in parenthesis!

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By kilax, December 21, 2009 4:56 am

Every time I’m about to hit “publish” on this rant post I have drafted out, I end up with some surprise I’d rather blog about. First it was from my mom, and then last week, I got a wonderful surprise almost every single day! I think this is a sign from the universe – save that rant-y post for January, Kim… have some holiday spirit…

I received the first gift was from my blogger buddy Gina on Monday. I have been blogger buddies (well, we call each other blogger sisters) with Gina and Courtney for over three years. We write group emails almost every week, exchange holiday and birthday gifts and cards, and hope hope hope that the three of us can meet up someday (Gina is in New York and Courtney is in Texas).

Appropriately, Gina sent me Julie & Julia – the movie about Julia Childs and the blogger Julie Powell! I had not seen the movie, and I was so so excited when I opened it! She sent it along with vegan popcorn and a thoughtful card. How lucky I am to have a friend like that?! Steven and I really enjoyed watching the movie. It made me hungry though!

What does Data think of Julie & Julia?

He likes it!

Then on Wednesday at work, one of my team members brought in holiday treats for us all. She was thoughtful enough to make me vegan gingersnaps!

Isn’t the packaging cute?

Nom Nom Nom. Looks like something you’d buy in a store!

On Thursday, I received Lindsay’s copy of The Reader, which she is loaning me. I sent her a book of mine to borrow, so we are doing a fun little exchange.

And then Friday a holiday package from Lauren arrived (we participated in Morning Runner’s blogger gift exchange). WOW. Lauren HOOKED ME UP! DUH! How could I have forgotten she works IN a running store???!!! She sent me Saucony socks, Adidas headbands, a “run” keychain, and some prickly pear cactus candies which I am super excited to try. Isn’t that the best gift ever?! I really got lucky in drawing Lauren’s name. I have been having a lot of fun getting to know her through her blog. I love how down to earth she is and the great attitude she has. Check her out if you don’t already read her blog!

On Saturday, there was yet another package, from Courtney, wrapped in adorable “Meowy Christmas” paper!

And inside of an adorable Santa tin! What could it be, Data and I wonder…

Homegrown pecans! WOW! I cannot imagine how long it took to shell all of those! What a thoughtful gift! Steven and I are thinking about using them to make baklava!

Yes, I show Data all of the packages. He is curious.

We also received a ton of holiday cards this week, many from thoughtful bloggers, along with those from family and friends. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!

How lucky I am to have received all of this? Who am I to even consider ranting about the small things in life when I have such a wonderful network of supportive friends? I am so grateful for these relationships! And I am grateful for each and every one of you who take the time to leave comments and develop an online relationship with me. It really makes my day to read your insight and feedback to my ramblings! Thank you!!!

Have you received any surprises lately? Does this time of year make you stop and think about the things in life for which you are grateful?