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By kilax, June 2, 2009 6:37 am

For some reason, I was really excited that June 1st started on a Monday. I felt like it was giving me a “fresh start” – a new month and on a MONDAY! I was going to get enough sleep, eat healthy, exercise, get everything done in the evening, and go to bed at 9:30.

Ha. Ha ha. My day quickly turned to crap around lunch time, and didn’t get much better. I suppose the gloom and rain in Chicago didn’t help either.

What’s so silly is that I know that ANY moment can be the moment to make a “fresh start” or change something. A phone call that bothers me in the morning shouldn’t ruin my day. I shouldn’t just throw my healthy diet out the window if I eat too much at lunch time. I’ve got to get rid of this “all or nothing” mindset!

I’ve been saying that forever…

And I’ve been thinking about this forever, which is just fueling the fire. I am sick of trying to “fix me.” I am sick of thinking about being healthy. I am sick of trying to figure out what makes me so anxious and impatient. I just want it all to go away. I just want it all to work ITSELF out.

I don’t want to think about it anymore.

So I’m going to pay someone else to think about it. I’ll see how that goes. I’ve had both bad and good experiences with therapy. Maybe it will be different now that I am an adult paying for it with actual health insurance (versus being in college).

Side Note: It totally cracks me up how many comments I got on yesterday’s “Attacked by birds” post! Thanks for all of your fun comments!

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By kilax, May 20, 2009 7:23 am

Maybe this is why people think I eat so healthy:

This is the fruit I brought to eat at work today – a peach, a gold delicious apple, a gala apple, an orange, a pink cripps apple, grapes and a banana*.

This is a completely normal amount of fruit to eat, right? Ha ha. How much fruit do you eat in a day?

As I am reseaching more and more about veganism, I am realizing I need to be very careful about my protein intake, especially since I exercise. I am sad to say, I think I am going to have to cut out some of the fruit and replace it with legumes and seeds; I need to “re-balance” my diet. Oh well. I’ll get used to it. (I hope!)

*That banana is not brown enough! But at least it did not explode like the one did from yesterday.

Comments (20)

By kilax, May 19, 2009 6:47 am

I get a lot of comments at work like, “your lunch is so healthy,” “your snacks are so healthy,” “you always eat so healthy,” “do you count carbs or calories?”* “what do I need to eat to lose weight?” “when is your next run?” “what do I need to do to start running?”**

I think that people think I am some sort of… health freak? They see me walking around with an apple, or eating my homemade granola bar, or getting fresh veggies out of the fridge for lunch, and think I am super focused on eating healthy ALL THE TIME.

Ha. Ha ha. I WISH! While it is my goal to get closer and closer to eating a healthy, fresh diet most of the time, I am totally not there yet.

I have two secrets to share:

1. I want to run the Chase Corporate Challenge 3.5 miler in 28 minutes.
2. I’ve gained 4 pounds in the last 4 weeks.

The second secret pretty much cancels out the first one.*** Because, I can feel the small amount of extra weight and it is slowing me down a bit during my runs. I can feel it shaking in my butt.

AND, it’s NO BIG DEAL! I was stressed out, I was eating emotionally, blah blah blah, what did I expect to happen? Mathematically, I knew my calories in was higher than my calories out, even when running 20+ miles a week. I just chose to ignore it for awhile. Because I am human, and I cannot eat perfectly all the time, no matter how hard I try. And I don’t even WANT to eat perfectly all the time. How boring would that be?

Anyway, it makes me laugh at work when I get SO MANY comments on what I am eating and how healthy it is, because I do not “eat healthy” all of the time and I don’t think of the food I eat during the day as “healthy,” I think of it as the food I want to eat – fruit, veggies, whole wheat crackers, granola bars, cereal, veggie dogs, etc.

The good thing is, when people keep saying that to me, it encourages me. It keeps me going. It reminds me that I do need to be making conscious, healthy choices most of the time. And not just “for show” (which it’s not), but because I want to.

So even though the comments do get annoying from time to time (I mean, come on, can I just prepare my lunch in peace?!), I am going to channel it into good – encouragement.

And I am going to quit all of that mindless gosh darn**** snacking.

*Give me a freakin’ break. I am NOT afraid of carbs.
**My punctuation kind of went to crap in this paragraph.
***So I think I will try to finish in under 30 minutes.
****This is me not swearing.

Comments (15)

By kilax, April 25, 2009 8:39 pm

Peanut Butter is a trigger food for me. It can sit in the pantry for weeks and I don’t even think about it, but once I open it, I eat WAY too much.

We had two containers in our pantry from November – creamy and crunchy. They were both half full this week. They are now gone – mostly because of me.

We went to Target today to get groceries, and even stopped by the peanut butter, but I didn’t say that we needed any, because I didn’t want it in the house. I was being selfish.

Steven noticed we were out when we got home. He was upset that we didn’t get any. I can understand that. He likes to have it every once in awhile. And it was wrong of me to only think of myself when making the grocery list. I told him I would go pick some up, but that it is a trigger food for me, so I had no idea how long it would last. And I have no idea how long this overeating/binging phase is going to last for me. Why do I go through phases like this?

So now I feel guilty for eating too much AND for not getting any more peanut butter for the pantry. Yay.

Comments (14)

By kilax, April 22, 2009 5:48 am

Even though I’ve been losing weight, I’ve still been struggling with some food issues. I forced myself to think about it and try to get to the root of the problem. And I think I actually began to figure a few things out.

I am afraid of hunger. I am afraid of being caught unprepared. I am afraid of the unplanned.

What does this mean? I worry about becoming hungry, I am scared I will be unprepared and have to eat something unplanned. I am afraid of the unknown. I hate being out of control.

So here’s what happens. I always have a ton of healthy snacks with me. I stick to my grazing plan and eat something almost every 2-3 hours, sometimes more frequently, especially at work. I never let myself feel hunger. I worry about fueling before a workout, so I always make sure I have something in my stomach. I try to prevent hunger.

It’s not a super big issue. The snacks are usually healthy, I never feel full to the point that my stomach hurts, and I’ve only had a few out of control moments (more the last few days).

But still – what’s the deal? Why am I not listening to my real hunger signals? I think I’ve lost touch with hunger, and it’s time to try to find it again.

Glamour photo gone wrong?

I think that this photo of Data requires a caption and submittal to icanhascheezburger… I just can’t come up with anything clever? Can you? (diane, I’m looking your way!)

Comments (27)

By kilax, April 20, 2009 5:03 am

How ripe do you prefer your bananas?

I am a #7 – I like my banana a bit brown and lightly bruised. I think Steven is more of a #4 or #5. So at the beginning of each week, we buy about 15 bananas in different stages of ripeness. Every once in awhile, we end up with some “leftovers” at the end of the week that are even too ripe for me to eat (although, I probably would have eaten one of them in the photo below).

I usually make banana bread or banana donuts when we have leftovers, but we were already using the bread pans to make granola bars and it was too late in the day for donuts, so I decided to try Jen’s Banana Chocolate Chip Cookies.

I’m pretty new to the idea of mixing bananas and chocolate, and I’ll admit, it’s taking me awhile to get used to it. BUT, I thought this recipe was cool because it’s fairly healthy (no added sugar!).

Waiting to go in the oven…

Finished! They didn’t change shape at all while they cooked!

I tried one right away when it came out of the oven, but the chocolate had too strong of a taste and was too hot. Even though I put less chocolate in it, I still think I put in too much. Next time I make them, I will probably add a bit more cinnamon, less chocolate, and try some without chocolate completely.

Jeez. I can’t believe I am complaining about too much chocolate. What has happened to me? Ugh. After not eating sweets for so long, sweets taste too sweet.

The cookies did have a nice chewy texture, and a yummy banana flavor! If you are into the chocolate/banana combination, they are worth a try! They are pretty good for a “healthy” cookie.

See the recipe in the extended post below.

More Rainbow Cake Photos: I thought I would share the photos of the inside of Christina’s Rainbow Cake with you! It’s so colorful and fun!

Continue reading 'What to do with super ripe bananas'»

Comments (16)

By kilax, April 17, 2009 5:36 am

When you bake or cook, do you follow a recipe?

According to this article, most people DO NOT follow a recipe. But I almost always DO. I’m not confident enough in the kitchen not to!

Steven, on the other hand, only uses recipes and cookbooks for inspiration. Sometimes when he wants to try something new, he’ll look at a bunch of recipes for ideas, then write his own. But sometimes, he just improvises! He’s a true chef.

Some administrative stuff: On Saturday, I put up a poll asking where recipes should be posted, and the majority voted for a new recipes category, so I am adding that today. In it, you will find Fruit Pizza, Swiss Apple Pie, Banana Donuts, Granola Bars (re-visit the comments section for an update on the recipe!), the Pad Siew teaser and Christina’s Rainbow Cake. Most of the recipes for these items are posted in the comments section or in a link in the post. In the future, I will post the recipes in an extended post.

I’ve also been bookmarking a few recipes to try in the future: Denise’s Pumpkin Spice Muffins, Chocolate Covered Katie’s 24-Carrot Cake Muffins, Nicole’s Cinnamon Bun Muffins and Cathy’s Gluten-Free Brownies. Yes, I like to bake sweets! And I love to share them with my coworkers or Steven’s, so we don’t eat them all.

Comments (14)

By kilax, April 16, 2009 10:05 pm

A cute little bonus story for you:

One night a week, I stay late at the office so I can exercise in the gym with my coworker. I don’t get home until around 8:30, by which time Steven has usually eaten dinner, unless  we decided beforehand that we would eat together.

The last three weeks, something very strange has happened.

When I got home the first week, I started toasting an English muffin. “I am really craving an egg sandwich!” I said. “That’s what I had for dinner too!” Steven replied.

The second week, I got home and made a peanut butter sandwich. “I had a peanut butter sandwich too!” Steven told me.

Last night, and this is really weird,  I called Steven when I got off the train. After teasing him a bit, I randomly said, “Pizza?” “What did you say?” he asked. “Pizzaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” He responded, “How did you know I am heating up the oven?”

Isn’t that weird? Steven can STILL read my mind. I almost wish we were always on the same “food wavelength,” because we struggle with it when we aren’t. Sometimes we end up making two different things, but we don’t really like to do that!

Comments (15)

By kilax, April 11, 2009 7:11 am

4/10/09 Version of our homemade Pad Siew

You’d think a spouse that had Friday off and stayed at home all day (and took a 3 hour nap!) would have dinner ready when their spouse came home. Oops, not THIS wife!

Steven asked me to cook Pad Siew while he ran, and I gave him a really pained look. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to cook it, just that I was nervous about it. Steven’s the Chef, I’m only the Sous Chef. My responsibilities in the kitchen include baking, cleaning up, washing dishes, and chopping vegetables. Asking me to make this dish was a big step… for me. I guess I should consider it an honor!

Steven gave me very specific instructions then went up for his run…

A bit of history on this dish: In winter of 2008, I went to a Thai restaurant (with a buddy) for the first time and randomly selected Pad Siew, a dish with chewy noodles, sweet soy sauce, broccoli, egg and sometimes tofu (or meat). I was instantly hooked on the dish and introduced it to Steven, who also loved it… but wanted to try and make it at home. So I talked to a coworker from Thailand about the dish, and he hooked me up with the key ingredients. Steven kept making the modified recipe (we add more veggies) over and over and over until he got it very close to perfection. Steven’s still working on it though! I like to consider this one of our “signature” dishes – we like to share it with friends and family, usually with egg rolls or pot stickers – but it’s different every time we make it! The last time we made it for kapgar, tori and diane, I asked Steven to leave out the crushed red pepper, and oops, it was so bland, we discovered that IS one of the key ingredients. Sorry guys!

So I took a lot of photos while I was making it all by myself last night, hoping to share the recipe and step by step with you guys! But when Steven came down after his run, he had to do a little “re-seasoning.” He said, “Re-seasoning is when you season it the first time then tweak it in the end!” (I think he was trying to make me feel better)

So it turned out good, but he doesn’t want me to share his recipe until it is perfecto! Should I share it then? Does it look like something you’d like?

Simmering on the stove…

I look funny – my face felt sore all day Friday, especially when I was eating dinner.

I am a stickler about eating at the dining room table, but we almost always eat this dish on the couch, while watching a movie. The perfect Friday night!

Just a little question – when I write about cooking/baking, do you think it makes sense to go into the “Health + Fitness” category? I don’t think I cook/bake enough to have a “recipe” or “food” category… Steven does though! I’ve added a poll below if you’d like to leave input!

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Comments (18)

By kilax, April 10, 2009 6:45 pm

Runner’s World recommends refueling with carbs during a run if you are running 75 minutes or more, and refueling with carbs and protein (4:1 ratio) within 30 minutes after a run that’s longer than an hour.

Hey, just tell me I need to eat more, and I’m a happy camper.

Seriously though, I’ve noticed that I feel much better if I refuel immediately after a long run that’s more than an hour. I’ve been refueling during runs that are longer than 75 minutes, but haven’t noticed much of an energy surge from it… yet! (Steven’s noticed the difference it makes though)

During long runs, I’ve been using Jelly Belly Sports Beans and Luna Moons. The beans are really easy to throw into the side of your mouth and chew while you are running. I’ve only tried the fruit punch flavor, which I liked (even though it was very sweet), but Steven has tried orange and lemon lime and liked those (orange the best). I really like the flavor (I’ve tried pomegranate and blueberry) and chewiness of the Luna Moons, but they get stuck in my teeth! So I will probably use the sports beans during the half marathon so I don’t have to deal with that.

I have not tried GU’s, gels or bloks. I am worried about the gag effect as I try to swallow them.

The truth is, I really just wrote this so I could tell you how excited I am that I finally, finally think I found the perfect “energy” bar for after my long runs. I feel like I’ve tried a zillion different ones. So many of them tasted too thick, chewy and artificial to me. I like things that are fruit flavored, especially strawberry. I don’t like the chocolaty stuff.

The perfect bar is… the Odwalla Berries GoMega bar! It’s a softer bar, more “granola-y,” with a few different kinds of fruit in it. I really like the flavor and texture of it, and the sweetness.

I also like the Luna Sunrise bars in Strawberry Crumble and Blueberry Bliss, and the ZonePerfect bar in Cranberry Orange. I like the flavor of all three of these, but they border on “too chewy and artificial” tasting. And I think they may contain traces of milk, which will be a problem if I decide to go vegan.

And if I need some electrolytes*, I like to drink Powerade Zero in the strawberry flavor. This stuff is super sweet, but I like it!

I just realized that most of these things probably cater best to someone who has a sweet tooth, like me. Steven likes energy/protein bars that are completely different than what I like, because all of mine are “too sweet.”

Steven really likes the ZonePerfect Banana Nut, ZonePerfect Fudge Graham, ZonePerfect Chocolate Peanut Butter and the Kashi Go Lean Crunchy Chocolate Peanut.

I know this is a super long, boring post, but I wanted to share my preferences with other runners/exercisers and anyone who is interested! Does anyone have any recommendations for someone with a sweet tooth? Or maybe something for my chocolate/nut/peanut butter lovin’ husband? Or just something you’ve tried and loved and want to share?

*It’s what plants crave!