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By kilax, June 9, 2009 5:06 am

Today is my mom’s 50th Birthday! Happy Birthday Mamu!!!

Do you think I look like my mom at all?

My siblings and Steven and I threw my mom a surprise party this Saturday in Cedar Falls, Iowa. When my dad turned 50, we threw him a surprise party as well, so I was sure my mother would be expecting it. I sent her a “fake” birthday gift last week (I am not sure why I am calling it “fake” – it was actually two tangible gifts) to throw her off.

My grandma (her mother) who lives out of town told my mom that she was coming to town to watch her grandkids and wanted to know if my mom wanted to meet her for dinner. My grandma even called my mom during the day and said something like, “The kids are behaving so nicely!” Ha. She wasn’t even in town yet.

We held the party at my uncle’s bar. The bar has a main area, an extended seating area, and a partitioned off room with a bar. We set up the food in the room with the bar, and crammed back there to yell “surprise!” when she arrived. I think we succeeded in surprising her. I wish I had a photo of her reaction. Hopefully someone got one.

I also wish I had a photo of the setup. My sister and Steven and I worked really hard all day at preparing the food and decorations. We had cold cut sandwiches, fresh veggies and dip, a wonderful fresh fruit salad (grapes, cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple and strawberries), chips, pea salad and rye bread cucumber sandwiches that my grandma insisted on making, cookies (photo below!), two cakes and soda and water. We decorated with balloons and streamers and posters I made (I will update them to the photo page later in the week).

A lot of people came to the party -about 35 adults and 4 kids. We had everyone sign a frame with birthday wishes on it, the same thing we did for my dad’s party.

Our big gift for my mom was a purple 8GB iPod Nano (if that’s what it’s called). We put her favorite video – I’m on a Boat – on it. When I showed her the video, she turned to her friends and said, “Did you know these things have video?!” It was pretty cute. I bet she’ll use about 20% of it’s capability in her lifetime. The night before the party, we set up the iPod and named it “Forever 39,” so when we found a “39 Forever” button at the party shop the next day, we had to buy it for her!

Steven and I also bought my mom a big can of beans. Ha.

The party was a whirlwind. I was honestly a lot more worn out than I would have liked to be. Fitting party planning in with my already hectic schedule really exhausted me. I felt pretty edgy on Sunday because of my lack of sleep. I hope I get to catch up… someday. A full six hours of sleep in one night would be nice!

Of course, it was totally worth it. Even though I was totally exhausted, I still was having fun being goofy. My mom and sister are pretty good at bringing it out of me.

Trying to eat ice cream cupcakes…

It would be my honor, to be your new stepfather.

And I have to share this photo of my parents looking pretty bad ass back in the day. Steven really likes this photo for some reason, and we got them to “re-pose.” Ha. When explaining the photo, my mom said they had attitude, before there was attitude. Riiight…

And how is my mom spending her actual birthday? In class all day! She has a three hour math class (with a test!) in the morning, and a three hour speech class in the evening. Boo! I hope she still gets to do something fun today!

More photos…

Me and Steven.

My younger brother, Anthony, and my mom.

My sister, me, my grandma and my mom.

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By kilax, May 27, 2009 12:21 pm

I had such a crappy, “not what I expected” Memorial Day weekend that it’s left me in a fog this week. It’s causing this huge funk that feels like it’s taking forever to shake off.

It’s also reiterated that nothing is ever going to turn out how I expect it. I can’t control people. I can’t stop them from being judgmental and irrational and pushy and ridiculous (the list could go on). ALL I CAN CONTROL IS MYSELF.

I just hate that I turn into a bitch (and more) when someone pisses me off. So I’ll work on that. And I’ll work on avoiding the people that make me feel this way.

This is why we don’t care that we live so far away from our families. Because most of them MAKE US CRAZY after long periods of time.* There, I said it.

*A long period of time being more than a day.

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By kilax, May 15, 2009 7:22 am

How long do you take to respond to an email? Or rather, are you INCREDIBLY back-logged on personal emails, like me?!

At work, I make sure I ALWAYS respond to emails directed to me with in a day, if not within the hour. But when it comes to my personal emails, it seems to take me much longer to respond, especially if the email is highly personal chit chat, which a lot of mine seem to be.

If it is something crucial, or quick, I will respond right away. But something about reading a long email, and writing a long response back… tires me out? Or something? I love exchanging long emails back and forth, but I want to give them the thought and concentration they deserve when I respond, and I feel like I rarely have the time to do that. So they just build up and build up and build up… and I have an email box with 30+ “marked as unread” messages, so I avoid it…

It just makes me feel bad. I feel bad that I am running around writing posts, leaving comments, and living my life, but not responding to emails right away. I’m trying though. And I almost always respond back (because it’s kind of rude not to ever respond at all!).

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By kilax, May 13, 2009 12:53 pm

I’ve casually mentioned here that I am in the process of becoming vegan. I call it a “process” because there is research I need to do (NOT because I plan on making becoming vegan a process by slowly phasing out dairy and eggs). I don’t want to jump into veganism before I fully understand the way the lifestyle affects my health. First, I want to create a balanced diet, learn the many different names of animal products found in processed foods, and fully understand the lifestyle, THEN make the change.

This is something I’ve been thinking about for a long time, but only recently begun researching. I wanted to participate in Chase Daylight’s 30 Day Vegan Challenge in April, but didn’t. At the time, I discussed it with my nutrition commadre (Steven), and he pointed out that it may not be a good idea to alter my diet too much before our 5/2 half marathon. I thought that was a good point, so I’ve been waiting.

Yesterday, I was at lunch with Diane, and she asked me if I had started the vegan diet yet. I thought it was super considerate that she asked me (to which I answered “no,” even though I had a vegan lunch) and it made me think that maybe people would have questions about me becoming vegan, or veganism in general. I want to use this post to invite all of you to ask me any (serious) questions you have. I will write a post and answer them all when I am ready to make the switch. I will also give an explanation then of what the lifestyle is, and why I am following it. There is a lot I want to say now, but I will wait until then.

Funny note – after I got done writing this, my mom called me and asked if I had started the vegan lifestyle yet. She said, “Make sure you get all your protein!” I told her about this post and that if she wanted, she could be the FIRST person to leave that question. I bet it will take her awhile to get here though.

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By kilax, April 29, 2009 6:43 am

Look! Another meme! I’ve seen this one going around the internet A LOT lately, and I finally got tagged for it… by Bethany!

I have to be honest. I usually skim memes. Or just mark them as read. So if you do the same for me, I understand.

Although, this one was interesting to fill out, because I really had to think hard about what to put on these lists! And I am sure as the day goes on, I will think of even more things to add.

8 Things I am looking forward to:

1. The Kenosha Half Marathon this Saturday!
2. Seeing my parents this weekend.
3. Going to SELF’s Workout in the Park with Diane on 5/16.
4. Spending time on the Mississippi River this summer.
5. Going to Disney World in January.
6. Doing the 30 Day Shred for 30 consecutive days (starting 5/1) and getting shredded!
7. Trying a vegan diet.
8. Seeing X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Star Trek, Angels & Demons, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Terminator Salvation this summer.

8 Things I did yesterday:

1. Got caught up at work!!!
2. Blogged. Read blogs. Added new blogs to my reader. Felt guilty for being addicted to blogging.
3. Talked to my coworker about doing a sprint triathlon.
4. Listened to Jillian Michaels’s podcast.
5. Ran 4 miles with Steven.
6. Ate homemade Mexican Food for dinner.
7. Got sick and spent a lot of time on the toilet.
8. Started watching Lady in the Water and wondered, “Is this lame movie going anywhere?!?!”

8 Things I wish I could will do*:

1. Run a marathon in 2009.
2. Finish logging in my IDP** credits.
3. Learn how to style my hair.
4. Work harder at communication with Steven.
5. Experiment more in the kitchen.
6. Try yoga. Try slowing down.
7. Maintain my weight loss.
8. Get more sleep!

8 Shows I watch:

1. I don’t watch television, but I do own all 6 seasons of Sex and the City.

Play along if you want!

*Modified that one a bit!
**It’s an architecture thing.

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By kilax, April 10, 2009 6:51 am

Are you cuddly? Do you like to snuggle?

I’m not opposed to it, but I’m not very good at making it happen. I think I’ve become too comfortable in “my” space. My side of the bed, my side of the couch, etc.

Yet another thing I’d like to work on!

Comments (14)

By kilax, March 17, 2009 6:54 am

Do you ever have a strong urge to call a friend and let all of your emotions and frustrations out, but you hold back, because you don’t want to burden/bother them?

What is with the filter?

I had a day yesterday, that, let’s just say, didn’t make my sour weekend mood go away. Let’s just say it built on it. There’s a lot going at work. It’s nothing bad that reflects on me individually, but something that affects my organization. It was enough to stress me out after I left work and make me have dreams about it last night.

I needed to call someone last night and talk about it. I used to always call my mom first. She has always been my #1 go-to person, and probably always will be. She’s a great listener, and always gives me the reaction I need.

But she’s not always available. She has important daily commitments. And I don’t want to bother her when she’s busy. And quite honestly, I am selfish, and I don’t feel like I get the attention I need when she’s busy (makes sense – she’s busy).

So last night, I had the urge to call a friend first. Someone who is also a good listener. Someone who can relate.

But, I didn’t. I didn’t want to burden her with my work stress, when she already has her work stress.

Thinking about it now, that’s bull-crap. Our relationship is not set up on the premise that we both have perfectly wonderful lives with no stress. Yeah, we’re both generally happy and know we have a lot to be grateful for, but what’s to say I can’t call her and just let her know how stressed I am at the moment?

I believe it’s fine to say I am stressed out about my job right now, without having to justify it with “I am grateful to have a job.” OF COURSE I am. But for the moment, I let that hold me back.

I believe my friend and I are both the nurturing type. We have the tendency to listen a lot to other people’s problems first, before we share ours. It’s not that we don’t share them, just that we don’t prioritize them all the time. We maybe sit on them. I sometimes do, anyway.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’ve had strong urges to reach out and call her other times. Once, when I was having some food related issues. I just needed to talk to someone who understood. But still, I held back.

If I am lucky enough to have this wonderful, understanding friend that I can relate to, and who is also a great listener, why don’t I let myself be 100% MYSELF to her?

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By kilax, February 18, 2009 5:55 pm

It’s been four weeks since I started participating in my office’s Biggest Loser Challenge. We’re one-third of the way done with the challenge. So far, I’ve lost 5.21% of my starting weight.

I have to admit that the competition made me feel a bit different than I expected it would. I’ve been fine weighing-in in front of my coworker. That doesn’t bother me at all.

But when the results were emailed out the first week, and I saw that I was in the top three, I felt a bit of competitiveness. I saw that I was doing well, and wanted to stay in the top. That feeling didn’t last very long, but I admit it was there for a second.

And I wasn’t expecting my coworkers to be so encouraging about the Challenge, but they are. Participating has actually opened up a lot of communication about health and fitness. I found out another coworker loves to run, and that another group of coworkers walk the stairs in our building at the beginning of their lunch break. I am not sure how long these conversations will be around, but I enjoy participating in them (I even laughed when someone, who ISN’T participating, saw that I was in the kitchen making oatmeal for breakfast, and asked what I had… wanting to make sure I was still in the competition… uh… yeah).

The most interesting thing I’ve learned, now that a month is over and I have tracked my progress, is how little my weight actually has to do with how I feel, what I eat, and how much exercise I am getting. One week, I ran around 22 miles, ate like a saint, but somehow gained .2 pounds. The next week, I spent three days eating nothing but carbs and sweets – I was in Denver, and I was there to have fun. I lost 3.4 pounds that week. So, my body is on its own path. What I weigh on any particular day is just a flux number – it doesn’t really mean anything. It goes up and down based on my hormones, how much water I drink, if I eat salty foods… you get the idea.

It’s funny that tracking my weight like this, what so many people DON’T recommend, is what has made me accept that my weight is JUST a number. I hope the challenge continues to let me become more accepting of my body!

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By kilax, January 20, 2009 1:01 pm

Someone in my office is organizing a 12-week biggest loser (weight loss) challenge. You buy in for $12.  You weigh in each week by Wednesday afternoon (I’ll weigh in on Tuesdays). You pay $2 for each pound gained a week, and $2 if you miss a weigh-in without advance warning. To buy out of the competition, you have to pay out $2 for each week remaining. The cash prize is split between the top 3 losers in the end (55%, 25% and 20% – the winner is calculated by percentage lost, not total pounds).

This has “bad idea” written ALL over it, right?

Of course, I signed up.

I don’t think the idea of winning money will motivate me to lose weight. Or the idea of having to pay money for weight gained. And I don’t even think having someone holding me accountable will make me work any harder either. It might make me feel guilty if I gain weight, but that’s about it.

I think I just thought, “What the hell – I am training for a half marathon and pretty soon I will be putting in between 20-25 miles a week on the treadmill. I might end up losing some weight naturally.” We’ll see what comes of that.

Would you participate in something like this? It seems a bit too private to take to work, but because I’ve just started at this office, and barely know anyone, I don’t care if one person knows what my weight is from week to week.

Revealing it on this blog though, feels impossible. It’s not that I am embarrassed by it; it’s just information I would prefer not to share with family. They already know enough about me and my food struggles as it is, reading this crap. I feel like a number makes my problems even more tangible.

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By kilax, January 19, 2009 9:16 pm

My entire right arm, right shoulder and the right side of my neck are sore. It’s the result of carrying too heavy of a purse for too long, bowling* for the first time in months on Saturday, and playing Wii Tennis** a bit too intensely on Sunday.

The funny thing is, I’ve been ignoring the neck pain caused by my purse for a couple of months. It wasn’t until this Saturday, when the pain spread to my shoulder, that I thought I better do something about it, because I was worried it would affect my running. Since I’ve been training for the half marathon, I’ve really become more in touch with how my body feels when running, and what I need to do before and after running to make it feel its best. My neck wasn’t bothering me too much while running, but I could tell the shoulder pain was going to turn into something awful if I didn’t act on it. So I am acting on it. So I can run better.

It’s really interesting, to follow a half marathon training program, and learn so much about my body while I am doing it. I just never expected to become so in touch with what my body likes and doesn’t like. I won’t go into details, but I’ve learned how important my diet is when it comes to running. If I am running that night, I need to stick to my healthy diet throughout the day, or I am going to be sluggish and uncomfortable on the treadmill. And the thing is, when I am running that night, I DO want to stick to my healthy diet. I am enjoying the training so far and how it makes me feel. I just hope I don’t have any more interruptions in my training schedule. December through mid-January has been hell on my schedule.

*Remember when all I used to blog about was bowling? Then our summer league ended, I and quit playing, because my hip was killing me, and I wanted to focus on running. Well, even though it took me an embarrassingly long time to get back into the swing of things on Saturday, I had a lot of fun, and I miss it.

**Christina and Kyle came to visit us this weekend! We spent ALL day Sunday at home, playing Wii and… playing Wii. Maybe we watched a DVD? I don’t recall. Anyway, I’ve had the Wii for over 5 months and NEVER played Wii Tennis. Kyle and I were fooling around with it, and convinced Christina and Steven to join us after our late lunch. We ALL became ADDICTED! Christina and I had to go change into gym clothes because we were working up such a sweat! Why didn’t anyone tell me Wii Tennis is so fun? I think we spent over 3 hours playing it yesterday. Christina and I were teamed up against Steven and Kyle most of the time, then we let the two of them duke it out, “competitive ass” style.

Competitive asses in action.

FYI: I haven’t really been feeling like myself lately, and I realize that this blog post is a big steaming pile of crap. And… it took me almost 2 hours to write. I mainly wrote it to make Christina happy… are you happy now Christina, are you?!?! Ha ha. Come back to Chicago!