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By kilax, December 21, 2009 4:56 am

Every time I’m about to hit “publish” on this rant post I have drafted out, I end up with some surprise I’d rather blog about. First it was from my mom, and then last week, I got a wonderful surprise almost every single day! I think this is a sign from the universe – save that rant-y post for January, Kim… have some holiday spirit…

I received the first gift was from my blogger buddy Gina on Monday. I have been blogger buddies (well, we call each other blogger sisters) with Gina and Courtney for over three years. We write group emails almost every week, exchange holiday and birthday gifts and cards, and hope hope hope that the three of us can meet up someday (Gina is in New York and Courtney is in Texas).

Appropriately, Gina sent me Julie & Julia – the movie about Julia Childs and the blogger Julie Powell! I had not seen the movie, and I was so so excited when I opened it! She sent it along with vegan popcorn and a thoughtful card. How lucky I am to have a friend like that?! Steven and I really enjoyed watching the movie. It made me hungry though!

What does Data think of Julie & Julia?

He likes it!

Then on Wednesday at work, one of my team members brought in holiday treats for us all. She was thoughtful enough to make me vegan gingersnaps!

Isn’t the packaging cute?

Nom Nom Nom. Looks like something you’d buy in a store!

On Thursday, I received Lindsay’s copy of The Reader, which she is loaning me. I sent her a book of mine to borrow, so we are doing a fun little exchange.

And then Friday a holiday package from Lauren arrived (we participated in Morning Runner’s blogger gift exchange). WOW. Lauren HOOKED ME UP! DUH! How could I have forgotten she works IN a running store???!!! She sent me Saucony socks, Adidas headbands, a “run” keychain, and some prickly pear cactus candies which I am super excited to try. Isn’t that the best gift ever?! I really got lucky in drawing Lauren’s name. I have been having a lot of fun getting to know her through her blog. I love how down to earth she is and the great attitude she has. Check her out if you don’t already read her blog!

On Saturday, there was yet another package, from Courtney, wrapped in adorable “Meowy Christmas” paper!

And inside of an adorable Santa tin! What could it be, Data and I wonder…

Homegrown pecans! WOW! I cannot imagine how long it took to shell all of those! What a thoughtful gift! Steven and I are thinking about using them to make baklava!

Yes, I show Data all of the packages. He is curious.

We also received a ton of holiday cards this week, many from thoughtful bloggers, along with those from family and friends. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!

How lucky I am to have received all of this? Who am I to even consider ranting about the small things in life when I have such a wonderful network of supportive friends? I am so grateful for these relationships! And I am grateful for each and every one of you who take the time to leave comments and develop an online relationship with me. It really makes my day to read your insight and feedback to my ramblings! Thank you!!!

Have you received any surprises lately? Does this time of year make you stop and think about the things in life for which you are grateful?

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By kilax, December 17, 2009 5:01 am

Have you ever been worried about the health of a loved one but not been sure on what you could do to help?

I know I’ve been in that situation. And people have probably been in that situation with concern for me. The problem is, I never figured out what to say/do to help.

I was reading Men’s Health* while working out on the bike on Tuesday. In the “Ask the Girl Next Door” section of “Ask Men’s Health” I saw this question:

Q: My wife eats junk food and never exercises, and I’m worried she’s going to balloon when she hits 35. How can I address this without getting my head ripped off?

Um, I would start by NOT using the world balloon. Men’s Health’s answer (remember, this answer is from a woman):

A: First, see if you can help her change her lifestyle without having a direct conversation. Ask her to take a walk with you after work. Hold her hand and ask about her day. Cook dinner more often and assume grocery duties. In fact, do more chores in general – remove a chunk of her daily obligations, and she’ll have more time and energy to spend on herself. If after a few months you still see no change, that’s when you sit her down, hold her tight, and say you’ve noticed that she hasn’t been taking great care of herself. Tell her it worries you on both a health level and, you’re embarrassed to admit, a sexual level. Say it makes you feel shallow and that you hate hurting her feelings, but that it’s something you want to address. Then ask her what’s going through her mind. And this is the most important part: Listen to her answer, and tell her, as many times as it takes, that you’ll always love her and you’re wiling and eager to help make her life easier.

Wow.

So… I thought there as definitely some good advice in there – splitting chores to allow equal free time between spouses, listening to each other’s concerns, working out together…

But damn. The sexual comment? Not being honest about your concerns from the get-go? That doesn’t fly with me. If you are going down that route, you might as well follow this AWFUL list of “10 subtle ways to tell her she’s getting fat.” Yep. It’s awful. Read it if you want to be a little bit pissed off for the rest of the day.

Would these techniques work on you? What would work? Have you ever tried to help someone out with following a healthier lifestyle?

I sometimes have food issues – binge eating and eating too fast. These issues are triggered by being rushed, feeling like things are out of my control, stress, general anxiety, and we can’t forget the last one – boredom. Steven has tried to help me. But I am so defensive about it. I think even if I came up with the perfect thing for him to say, and he said it, I would still find something wrong with the tone of his voice, or his timing. I don’t want to make it a lonely battle, because I am sure I could use support from time to time, but I am just not ready for it.

In the same sense, I don’t think I discuss exercise with him in the way he would prefer. I love to hear about other people’s workouts, so I will ask if he had time to fit one in, and if he didn’t, I think me asking makes him feel bad.

I am not mentioning these two examples because it’s a huge problem for us – it surely isn’t. We support each other by cooking healthy meals, working out together, and discussing our healthy goals. I just want to say that I think it is difficult to help someone else get healthy**, even if you have great communication. It’s so personal. You have to be really comfortable to even talk about it.

*Seems like a great mag, by the way!
**Especially since healthy can mean so many different things to different people.

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By kilax, December 14, 2009 5:15 am

Last year, I tried to use the Livestrong dailyplate. Yeah, that didn’t work for me! But I still get the Livestrong Newsletter in my email. Last week, there was an article titled “How to Survive Holidays with the In-Laws” that I thought actually had some good advice.

Ha, don’t get me wrong. I think it had good advice for dealing with ANY family member during the holidays, whether they are blood-relatives or not. Here’s the short version of the tips (which focus on when family visit):

1. Communicate your needs in a gentle, but confident manner.
2. Stick Together.
3. Find out what works and stick to it.
4. Trade holiday traditions with your in-laws.
5. Try not to take criticism personally.
6. Accept or redirect offerings of help.
7. Remember that the visit is temporary.

I suggest looking at the article for the full description!

The one I think I need to work on the most is tip #5 – try not to take criticism personally. The full tip says:

Try not to take criticism personally. As long as a mother- or father-in-law is not abusive in his comments and critiques, let his advice cause as little emotional defensiveness in you as possible. Handle his suggestions the same as you would from any other adult.

I have major issues with people telling me how to do things. Especially in the kitchen. Which is funny, because I know nothing about being in the kitchen. I just always feel so defensive when people stop me in the middle of doing something and tell me to do it another way.

Are any of these tips things you need to work on? What is your method for having a stress-free family gathering? Any crazy stories you want to share?

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By kilax, December 11, 2009 4:12 am

Tell me all about your holiday gift-giving! To whom to you give gifts? Do you make them or buy them (in stores or online)? Do you have any gift-giving traditions? Do you participate in gift exchanges? Do you share a holiday wishlist with friends and family? Does all of this STRESS YOU OUT?!

We usually buy* gifts (in stores and online) for all of our immediate family and grandparents. But we are cutting back this year. In my family, my three siblings and the three significant others all drew names. Steven is buying a gift for my older brother’s wife and I am buying a gift for my younger brother’s girlfriend. Then, we are only buying gifts for our parents and Steven’s brother. I thought I would feel sad about this, but actually, I feel RELIEVED and not stressed at all. Instead of buying a lot of gifts, I get to focus on the one specific person whose name I drew! Edited to add: Steven and I exchange gifts every year, but have not decided if we will this year or not. Not because we don’t want to, but to save money.

And I am ALL ABOUT the wishlists. I created two separate wishlists this year for me and Steven – one for my family and one for his. And we asked for them in return, especially for the people whose names we drew! I know some people think having a wishlist means you don’t get to be creative, but I just think it means you know what the person actually wants. If I am spending money, I want to make sure it’s well spent.

I am participating in Morning Runner’s gift exchange. I got paired with RunningLaur and am sending her gift off today! Here’s a sneak peak, Lauren! You’ll have to guess if you are getting the gray item or the pink item.

*I do LOVE to make people’s favorite treats and give them to them as well.

Comments (17)

By kilax, December 8, 2009 5:32 am

Do you ever get it in your mind that you ABSOLUTELY have to do something, and that is all you can think about, obsessively, until you’ve done it?

This is not necessarily a good thing. It’s compulsive.

com-pul-sion: Psychology. a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one’s will.

If my photo were next to a definition in the dictionary, I fear it would be that one. I sometimes think compulsion is the cause of many of my actions. A few examples:

• When I found out Foer was speaking in Chicago, it was all I could think about for hours while I figured out the logistics. I was stressed out about it at work, when I should have been focused.
• I missed 1.5 miles of my Thursday run and thought obsessively about fitting it in last Friday, when really, I needed to rest my legs*. I didn’t run the 1.5 miles, thankfully.
• This post. I wrote it on my exercise sheet while I was doing my strength routine last Friday. It was all I could think about. Even when writing it (last night on the airplane) I closed the lid of my computer for take-off, but thought of something to write and had to open it back up.
• I had it in my mind that I was going to make certain dishes for my family when they visited. Apparently my mother had a few dishes in mind too? (Hence the Similarities and Differences post – I think we are both like this.)
• I couldn’t get it out of my mind that I had to get our holiday tree last weekend before “all the good ones were gone.” Luckily, Steven humored me on this one and we picked out our tree on Saturday (free delivery to the house on Sunday!).
• I won’t even go into how this affects my relationship with food!

What is all of this about? Why do I obsessively think and plan things? I sometimes think it is because I am afraid of missing out on events and afraid of forgetting thoughts I have. AND, I just get so excited and pumped about things, I want to get them out there while they are fresh!

But it makes it hard for me to focus. I have all of these thoughts swirling around in my brain. I feel like I have to get certain things done right away. I am agitated if I don’t.

Part of me enjoys the rush that I create for myself. The realistic part of me knows it’s a problem.

I’m hoping someone can relate? It’s one of those things where I feel like “Boo-hoo, I’m the only one” but I can’t be… right?

(Note, while I was finishing writing this, I got another blog idea in my head and had to open a new tab to start typing that out).

*Related, have you read the article titled “Your Better Half” in the January 2010 issue of Runner’s World? Great article. It’s about turning your inner critic into your biggest fan. I paid close attention to the little part about taking a day off when you don’t want to.

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By kilax, December 1, 2009 5:26 am

When we were done painting the guest bedroom, we decided not to put the dresser back in there because it takes up too much space. Instead, we put some shelves up where the dresser was, and are temporarily storing the dresser in our room. We now have three dressers in our room that are not being used – and this new one which doesn’t even match the others! Ha ha. Our long term plan is to re-finish the dresser we just brought into our room and its match in the guest bedroom, and get rid of the two in our room now. Anyway.

The Lone Dresser. Data likes to run across the room and jump onto it, then on to the treadmill.

On Saturday night, Steven and I were discussing the design of the dresser, and how it’s silly that it looks like it has small drawers on the top, but it really doesn’t. We started to open the drawers to look at how it is built and…

… we found a drawer full of STUFF!!! Holiday stuff!* Stockings filled with goodies and other treats! My mother must have hid them in there when she visited two weekends ago!**

The loot!

Of course, we went through everything right away. I am not sure when we were supposed to find the stockings, but it was so exciting to find a holiday gifts so early!

My mother is so thoughtful. She is constantly thinking of how other people feel, and how her actions affect other people. I think this is a wonderful characteristic, and wish I knew more people like her.

Do you know anyone who is super caring, thoughtful and considerate? How do they inspire you?

I like to think a bit of this rubbed off on me, because I do seem to be hyper-aware of how other people are feeling, and I try to do thoughtful “out-of-the-blue” things for them. Of course, my budget doesn’t always allow it!

Besides this drawer full of goodies, my mom sends me cards throughout the year, and even surprise gifts! Two Decembers ago, I was telling Steven how I really wanted the game Apples to Apples, and it just appeared on my doorstep the next night – from my mother! She also sent me the book Thrive: The Vegan Nutrition Guide to Optimal Performance in Sports and Life this past October, as a surprise, just because she knew I wanted it (watch for an upcoming review of the book).

And I really shouldn’t leave my dad out – I’m sure he was a part of all that. I know he was in charge of sending me my care packages (scroll down to 2/23 post) when I lived in Rome!

I know some people don’t like surprises, but to me, it always feels good when I know someone went above and beyond because they were thinking about me.

Here’s a better question, how do you plan on being thoughtful this holiday season?

Side Note: Don’t forget to enter my Eating Animals Giveaway!

*Because I am crazy, I thought I had hid all of this stuff in there for a split second.
**Ha ha ha. I didn’t have the opportunity to talk to my mom about this until yesterday. But I tricked her and told her we had Salvation Army come up and pick up all the dressers. Ha ha! She freaked out for a minute. “I thought you were going to keep them!” “You said you were going to paint them!” “You said you were going to get rid of the other one.” I’m SO MEAN. She told me she hid the stockings there when I was running the Friday night they visited. Everyone told her not to hide them there (that we would find them) but she said, “Kim said she doesn’t use her dressers!” I don’t use them – it was completely by chance that we opened them. My poor mom. I ruined her surprise! She was going to call us Christmas morning and tell us to look in the dresser. What a thoughtful idea. She said on the phone “Did Data see them too?!” He did. “No one will be surprised!” But I let her know she made my day!

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By kilax, November 28, 2009 7:20 am

We celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday with my sister, Christina, and her friend, Will. What does a vegan Thanksgiving look like? Let me show you…

The Sous Chef and Chef

The main dish: Stuffed Acorn Squash

Your choices are lentils and rice or…

Dressing!

We also had lentils and rice

and dressing on the side!

A delicious new Green Bean Casserole recipe! We used the leftover sauce as gravy for…

… the potatoes! Nom nom nom.

Of course, we had to have Cranberries. We just bought the canned Ocean Spray kind, but I may make a fresh cranberry dish for Christmas.

And you can’t forget the rolls (from ALDI)!!!

The fully set Thanksgiving Day Table…

and the fully set table with peeps!

My plate (this is all I ate – I knew we would have LOTS of leftovers)

Christina makes the classic mashed potato sandwich!

There were just a FEW servings of leftover mashed potatoes

We waited a few hours (Christina and Will played Wii the whole time) until we got out the DELICIOUS vegan pumpkin pie (new recipe here)

My plate

Everyone else’s plates!

The only thing that wasn’t vegan at this meal was the butter for the rolls, the whipped cream, and ice cream.

We had a lot of fun yesterday. Steven and I did the food prep while Christina and Will chilled, then we just played Wii all day and hung out. Sometimes, it’s good to spend a day indoors!

I didn’t do a thankful post this year. After reading many of yours, I can say I am thankful for the same things. But one unique thing I have to mention is how thankful I am too have a supportive husband who loves to experiment with food. I became vegan on June 15, but Steven is still a vegetarian. However, he fully supports my decision to be vegan and is always “veganizing” dishes we used to make with animals products, and trying out new recipes that I can eat. What a sweetie! Being vegan is not impossible, but Steven makes it much easier.

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By kilax, November 24, 2009 5:00 am

If you don’t already read the Well blog on the New York Times, I highly recommend you do. The blog is focused on health and wellness topics and updates a few times a day. I always find the articles interesting.

Yesterday, the author linked to an interesting article called “Food, Kin and Tension at Thanksgiving.” I recommend reading it. You’ll either find it amusing, or that it hits too close to home and makes you dread the upcoming holiday meals.

The article is about all of the family drama that happens during holiday meal times – people commenting on you eating too little, people commenting on you eating too much, people sneaking stuff into your food*, people telling you to quit eating so fast, etc. The article gives specific examples, some of which I find ridiculous, like this story:

A Long Island woman, who like others interviewed for this column didn’t want to be named, said she and her family traveled 12 hours by train for a summer vacation gathering with her husband’s family. When her husband asked for seconds, the sister-in-law said there wasn’t any more food.

“There was all this food around, but she had cut us off,” the woman said. “We were just really shocked we were being told you can’t eat any more after coming all this way. We found out later she really controlled food in the household.”

Whoa! Kind of unbelievable, but then again, kind of NOT! People get weird about food, especially around the holidays! I know I felt territorial in my kitchen this past weekend (even though I love love LOVED that my grandma made breakfast).

Food is just so personal, but then again, it isn’t. Everyone pays attention to what other people are eating (makes me crazy) and a lot of people love to comment on it. That’s just the society we live in!

So, do you have any crazy family food drama like in the article?

I bet most of my family finds my vegan ways ridiculous! But, that is why we are hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas, suckas!** I have had people watch what I eat and tell me to eat more. Or eat meat. Or slow down. Or not to use margarine. Or hey, that is the wrong kind of baking powder! Don’t use that salt! What?! You eat SOY?!

Ha ha. The article has a pretty humorous solution at the very end. My solution? Grin and bear it then bitch to my husband later!

*Well, I added that one, but it’s happened to me!
**Just joking here.

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By kilax, November 23, 2009 6:57 am

This weekend, while the boys were doing this,

Steven working on the Datsun

this,

Dad working on the Datsun

and this,

Data watching over us

my mom, grandma and I were doing this,

Visiting Millennium Park (and downtown Chicago)

this,

Since Christina couldn’t be there, mom talked to her on the phone while she frosted cookies.

this,

Mom wraps the gifts while Data watches

and this,

Posing for silly photos so we won’t lose our minds

with finished products like this

Sample plate of goodies
(We ended up making vegan sugar cookies, vegan chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter kisses, peanut clusters (some vegan), caramel popcorn (some vegan), butterscotch num nums, vegan chex mix, and (pre-made) toffee)

and this.

Mica’s Prize

And now it’s all over! I’m always sad to see family (or friends) go – it’s a fun change of pace to have more people in the house. But I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t looking forward to resting and sitting on my ass tonight!

It’s funny how spending two whole days with my mom and grandma really made our similarities and differences stand out. And you could say that about spending concentrated chunks of time with anyone – not just family. Take college roommates for example. After just a full day or so together, you realize whether or not you have the same methods of doing things and whether you were raised with the same values. It’s things as simple as how you clean, or how often you clean, and how you communicate about it.

Obviously, I have more specific examples from this weekend, but I don’t think it would be nice to talk about them here. It was just interesting to me to see which family traits (or values and methods) I’ve held on to, and which I have modified. Some of it has to do with food choices, like the on-going (for years) butter vs. margarine debate, and some of it had to do with conflicting personality characteristics – not conflicting because they’re different, but because they’re the same. Maybe I can write about that at a later date.

These last two paragraphs make it sound like I didn’t have a great time, when really, I did. It’s just that I don’t see my family very often, and I rarely get them all to myself, so I just feel like our interactions are more intense, because they’re so rare.

Anyway, have you had an experience with someone else that really made your similarities and differences stand out?

And now it’s time to tackle google reader and email. How long will it take me to read 340 new posts? Ha. I’ll get through them, but don’t be surprised (or offended!) if you see me commenting on posts a few days old. I haven’t logged in to reader since Thursday night, or even spent much time on the computer.

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By kilax, November 5, 2009 12:17 pm

Note to self: Using a napkin to cover your mouth so you can talk with your mouth full of food is NOT COOL. QUIT DOING THAT.

So, I’ve been eating a lot of salad lately, and for some reason, it takes me forever to chew, and I get anxious when I am eating with other people because I cannot respond as fast. So… yeah. The napkin thing.

That is just so gross.

Do you know anyone (besides now, me) who has gross food habits? Do you?

Steven and I once worked with this guy who always chewed with his mouth open at his desk, and smacked his food so loud… you wanted to smack him. He was always eating something, and would walk around the office smacking his food. Yuck. Oh yeah, and he was a vegetarian who any ate meat if it was free (?). And he cut all of the tops off of the cupcakes I brought into the office because he didn’t like frosting (he ate 6 or so cupcakes though).

Bitter much? Ha. I laugh about it. Now.

My other bad food habits are eating too fast and apparently, Steven says, I do a bit of smacking too. BUT NOTHING LIKE THAT GUY! I am working on it too!