Comments (24)

By kilax, December 30, 2009 7:48 am

It seems like I am making a New Year’s Realization instead of a Resolution. Ha, ha… ha?

I keep putting myself on ridiculous schedules because I think it will help me out, when really, it just hinders me.

I have to STOP doing this. I have to.

Today is a perfect example. I am having lunch with a coworker and I also want to get a run in. I obviously can’t do it during lunch time anymore, so it would probably make sense to do it in the evening. No, that makes TOO MUCH SENSE, let’s get up at 4:30 so we can get to the office gym at 6:30 and put 6 miles in before work! Then, you get to run, see your friend for lunch, AND spend quality time with your husband when you get home!

It sounds so perfect when I write it all out, but Steven can tell you which one of these things doesn’t happen. By the time I get home, I am so tired from getting up so early that all I want to do is eat dinner and go to bed. I try to “relax” (how does one do that?) by sitting on the couch watching a movie, but I just feel exhausted.

And I keep doing this… why? It’s like I want to prove to myself that I CAN fit it all in to one day – working out, lunch with a friend, time with Steven, 3 hours commuting and 9.5 hours at work.

I can’t do it all. I can’t have it all. I have to prioritize. I have to be flexible/less rigid with my schedule. Ugh. I just need to learn HOW TO RELAX.

Friends, I have been fighting this for a long time. It’s what causes me to get burnt out and give up. I don’t want that to happen anymore. I am sick of yo-yoing with my weight, and really, with my life.

Do any of you ever feel like you are doing this to yourself? How to you stop/slow down?

Comments (14)

By kilax, November 23, 2009 6:57 am

This weekend, while the boys were doing this,

Steven working on the Datsun

this,

Dad working on the Datsun

and this,

Data watching over us

my mom, grandma and I were doing this,

Visiting Millennium Park (and downtown Chicago)

this,

Since Christina couldn’t be there, mom talked to her on the phone while she frosted cookies.

this,

Mom wraps the gifts while Data watches

and this,

Posing for silly photos so we won’t lose our minds

with finished products like this

Sample plate of goodies
(We ended up making vegan sugar cookies, vegan chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter kisses, peanut clusters (some vegan), caramel popcorn (some vegan), butterscotch num nums, vegan chex mix, and (pre-made) toffee)

and this.

Mica’s Prize

And now it’s all over! I’m always sad to see family (or friends) go – it’s a fun change of pace to have more people in the house. But I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t looking forward to resting and sitting on my ass tonight!

It’s funny how spending two whole days with my mom and grandma really made our similarities and differences stand out. And you could say that about spending concentrated chunks of time with anyone – not just family. Take college roommates for example. After just a full day or so together, you realize whether or not you have the same methods of doing things and whether you were raised with the same values. It’s things as simple as how you clean, or how often you clean, and how you communicate about it.

Obviously, I have more specific examples from this weekend, but I don’t think it would be nice to talk about them here. It was just interesting to me to see which family traits (or values and methods) I’ve held on to, and which I have modified. Some of it has to do with food choices, like the on-going (for years) butter vs. margarine debate, and some of it had to do with conflicting personality characteristics – not conflicting because they’re different, but because they’re the same. Maybe I can write about that at a later date.

These last two paragraphs make it sound like I didn’t have a great time, when really, I did. It’s just that I don’t see my family very often, and I rarely get them all to myself, so I just feel like our interactions are more intense, because they’re so rare.

Anyway, have you had an experience with someone else that really made your similarities and differences stand out?

And now it’s time to tackle google reader and email. How long will it take me to read 340 new posts? Ha. I’ll get through them, but don’t be surprised (or offended!) if you see me commenting on posts a few days old. I haven’t logged in to reader since Thursday night, or even spent much time on the computer.

Comments (16)

By kilax, December 30, 2008 7:09 pm

My wish didn’t come true.

My Metra wish, that is.

All I could think about at the end of the day was getting home. I had a wonderful Christmas, but I am exhausted. I feel dead tired – more tired than I’ve felt in a long time. This month is just wearing me out, and our travels aren’t over yet – we’re flying to Kansas City on Thursday. It’s fun to spend this time of year with family (or any time), but the back to back traveling just kills me.

The holidays just aren’t the same as they used to be.

Anyway. The train I was taking out of Chicago tonight went about 500 feet then stopped for an hour. We saw cop cars pull up and a stretcher go by. No announcements were ever made. People on the train started to complain to one another. One man said “We’re like hostages on this train!”

Why tonight, on a night when I just want to get home? I tried to relax and make the most of my time sitting there… but really, I’m stuck on a train. There’s not much “making the most of my time.”

Bleh. When will I feel energized again?

Soon, please, soon!

(Even though this is written in the past tense, I am still on this gd train as I post this!)