Comments (14)

By kilax, March 17, 2009 6:54 am

Do you ever have a strong urge to call a friend and let all of your emotions and frustrations out, but you hold back, because you don’t want to burden/bother them?

What is with the filter?

I had a day yesterday, that, let’s just say, didn’t make my sour weekend mood go away. Let’s just say it built on it. There’s a lot going at work. It’s nothing bad that reflects on me individually, but something that affects my organization. It was enough to stress me out after I left work and make me have dreams about it last night.

I needed to call someone last night and talk about it. I used to always call my mom first. She has always been my #1 go-to person, and probably always will be. She’s a great listener, and always gives me the reaction I need.

But she’s not always available. She has important daily commitments. And I don’t want to bother her when she’s busy. And quite honestly, I am selfish, and I don’t feel like I get the attention I need when she’s busy (makes sense – she’s busy).

So last night, I had the urge to call a friend first. Someone who is also a good listener. Someone who can relate.

But, I didn’t. I didn’t want to burden her with my work stress, when she already has her work stress.

Thinking about it now, that’s bull-crap. Our relationship is not set up on the premise that we both have perfectly wonderful lives with no stress. Yeah, we’re both generally happy and know we have a lot to be grateful for, but what’s to say I can’t call her and just let her know how stressed I am at the moment?

I believe it’s fine to say I am stressed out about my job right now, without having to justify it with “I am grateful to have a job.” OF COURSE I am. But for the moment, I let that hold me back.

I believe my friend and I are both the nurturing type. We have the tendency to listen a lot to other people’s problems first, before we share ours. It’s not that we don’t share them, just that we don’t prioritize them all the time. We maybe sit on them. I sometimes do, anyway.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’ve had strong urges to reach out and call her other times. Once, when I was having some food related issues. I just needed to talk to someone who understood. But still, I held back.

If I am lucky enough to have this wonderful, understanding friend that I can relate to, and who is also a great listener, why don’t I let myself be 100% MYSELF to her?

Comments (14)

By kilax, March 2, 2009 5:45 am

I’m not an economist, but I’ve been making my own internal speculations about products and services that may be affected by the current economy. I figured activities like library visits, grocery store shopping and working out from home would be up, and eating out, going to the movies and getting haircuts would be down.

The Sun-Times featured an interesting article yesterday on the same topic (click here for a visual version of the article). Their lists of “ups” and “downs” reinforced some of my assumptions, but shattered one of them (okay, and some of the things on their list are just silly).

UPS:

1. Seed Sales
2. SPAM Sales
3. McDonald’s Sales
4. Book (American History, Romance, Science Fiction and Fantasy) Sales
5. Library Book Borrowing
6. Wine Sales
7. Movie Attendance

DOWNS:

1. Frozen Meals for Seniors
2. Shark Attacks (???)
3. Stocks
4. Fortune-Telling
5. Cigarette Sales
6. Plastic Surgery
7. Hotel Occupancy

What do you think of the list? Have you been making any speculations of your own?

(I hope this post doesn’t offend anyone or make anyone think I am not taking this very seriously. I just found the article interesting and wanted to share it.)

Comments (13)

By kilax, February 25, 2009 5:53 pm

I religiously (ha) avoid discussing religion on my blog. But, on a day like Ash Wednesday, it’s something that’s hard to ignore. Even if you know nothing about the meaning of the day, you are bound to bump into someone on the street with ashes and wonder a little bit.

I don’t feel like I have a strong religious background. I was baptized in a Catholic Church and attended mass quite a bit with my family when I was younger. I went to “CCD” on Wednesday nights through most of my childhood. But after I started high school, I lessened my attendance of organized religious services. I had a few bouts here and there where I attended mass, but it never stuck. I usually enjoyed the message, but felt out of place. As I’ve learned more about religion as I gotten older, I think I can closely relate to many religion’s principles, but maybe Buddhism the most.

Anyway. I’ve always admired the concept of Lent. Traditional practices during Lent include prayer, fasting (food and festivities), and goodwill towards neighbors (volunteering, etc.) The fast reflects on “the forty days Jesus spent in the desert, during which he endured temptation by Satan.” Fasting begins on Ash Wednesday (today), and lasts until Easter Sunday (April 12th). The six Sundays in Lent are not counted towards the forty days, as they represent a “Mini-Easter.” (Thanks for all the info wikipedia!)

I truly believe that the practice of fasting, along with giving up other non-food luxuries, can be a healthy reminder of our good fortune and blessings. It can be used as a time to reflect upon who we really want to be – as an individual, spouse, friend, neighbor, coworker, citizen, etc. Ideally, we would focus on these things ALL YEAR LONG, but the truth is, we don’t. We get comfortable and we take things for granted – whether that be our supply of food, a good friend’s companionship, job security, our health, etc.

I suspect that now, with the state of the economy, people are reflecting on their fortune and luxuries a bit more than they had before. People are naturally cutting back. I feel like we are. The “bad” economy has not affected us directly, but we are conscious of it. So why not use that as a start to fully engage in a self-examination? What luxuries do we have in our lives? Which could we give up, or cut back on?

I think many of the tangible things I take for granted on a daily basis could be considered luxuries – owning our own home, owning two (running) cars, owning a treadmill, owning multiple high-priced electronic items, owning a laptop, having enough food in the house that I can overeat, and so on.

And there are non-tangible things I take for granted – having a full-time well-paying job, the physical ability to work out, my marriage, my relationship with my family, the right to speak my mind, the good will of my neighbors, and so on.

What actions can I take to be more appreciative? What could I cut back on in my life, that would allow me to be a better person to myself, and also to my friends/family and community?

Realistically, I could give up:

• Sugary Treats. Kevin is giving up sugar – but has the same partial reasoning behind it as me – it might boost some weight loss. Would giving up sugary sweets be a real sacrifice to me, or would it be selfish? I have a definite sweet tooth that causes me to seek out a sweet treat almost once a day… how would refusing that urge better me? Would it teach me to be grateful?
• Swearing/Gossip/Negative Talk. I don’t think this is always 100% possible, but I think I could be making a lot greater effort than I am.
• Spending money on frivolous items. Every once in awhile, I get the urge to read a new book, or magazine, even though I have plenty of them at home. It’s an indulgence and a waste of money.
• Dining out. Cut back to 2 nights a week (one being Subway before fencing) and 1 lunch throughout the week. This one may be difficult. I would have to be prepared by always having something to eat with me.
• Blogging. I wouldn’t stop blogging, but cut back on the amount of time I spend reading blogs and possibly, writing for mine. Would this be beneficial, or detrimental? I find blogging and reading blogs therapeutic and an aid to my well-being. I can at least monitor the hours spent on it.

Actions to better myself, my relationships, and my impact on society:

• Be a better listener
• Volunteer
• Have more patience
• Call family/friends more often
• Focus on meaningful communication

(What am I missing, from either list?)

I think I would like to give this a try. I think I could use some betterment, and reflection right now, especially when it comes to the second list. I spend a lot of time thinking about my own goals… about my life. I feel that I am a thoughtful and considerate person, but I could MAKE THE EFFORT to become more involved with other people.

Maybe I will end up writing some progress reports on this experiment. Or at least a summary in the end.

I hope I conveyed all of this in the most respectful manner possible.

Side note: Jen has some interesting input on the topic.

Comments (15)

By kilax, January 24, 2009 9:03 am

There are three townhomes in the photo below, and one “residential brokerage”  (aka “for sale”) sign. Which house does the sign look like it is in front of – the one on the left, middle or right?

Maybe the photo is a bit too skewed. Here is a more straight-on photo.

Guess which house is ours.

And not for sale.

Last Saturday, after opening the shades so Data could sit on my desk and look out the window, I went into the bedroom and said to Steven, “Guess what? Our house is for sale!”

He didn’t find it as amusing as I did until he actually looked out the window, and saw where the sign was (I think he thought I was exaggerating in my description of it). We haven’t had any next-door neighbors for quite some time (hurrah!) and we were wondering if the house was going to go on the market.

He called the number on the sign, and left a polite message inquiring about the price of the home and told them that they put the sign in front of our house by mistake.

He didn’t actually talk to the real estate agent until this Thursday. She told Steven that she has to remove the sign anyway (it is against our townhome association code to put them up) and that the house is going for about 20-25% less than its original cost.

Yikes. I told Steven, “I guess that means we’re stuck here for awhile!”

We aren’t planning on moving anytime SOON, but we definitely aren’t going to move if the market is so bad. I suppose we’ll have to wait it out a few more years…