Not a clue
Comments (15) Kyra’s post about weight today really struck a chord with me, mainly the part when she said (wrote?), “Sometimes I feel as though I have had to give myself permission to lose weight.”
For at least three-quarters of the past year, I haven’t really cared about my body. I ate whatever I wanted and put on weight. I just didn’t care. Even when I saw pictures of myself looking awful and unhealthy. Even when Steven tried to help me. I just didn’t have the right attitude. I wasn’t ready to take care of myself.
Then, a few weeks ago, I started eating healthy again, or at least making healthier choices (unfortunately not on the 4th of July weekend, or this weekend, but… I was at least conscious). I’m not exercising again yet, but I can see this all headed that way.
What worries me, is that I have NO IDEA what made me want to change. NO IDEA AT ALL. I gave myself the permission to be healthy, but why?
So while I am trying to take care of myself now, I know that it could all change again.
I just wish I could figure myself out. Because the physical weight is more than physical. It’s beginning to weigh down on me mentally as well.
Themocracy