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By kilax, April 10, 2009 10:25 am

In celebration of having dental insurance, I made a slew of appointments for March and April. Three appointments, every other Friday – general check up, teeth cleaning, then filling some teeny tiny cavities.

Today was the final appointment, filling the cavities. A new (to me) dentist was working with me. He asked if I wanted to do the fillings on the top today and the bottom one at another time, so my whole face wouldn’t be numb. I let him I know I had been coming to their office every two weeks, and unless there was a risk to doing it all at once, I was fine with doing it all today so I wouldn’t have to come back.

I don’t mind the dentist. I am not freaked out and I like it when they clean my teeth. But I must admit, that when they prepared my gums to give me the shots (in three locations), I got a little bit anxious. And when they were giving the shots, I really wished my sister was there to hold my hand. Not that they hurt that much, but my sister took care of me when I had my (6!!!) wisdom teeth removed, and it was really comforting.

The dentist told me “I only put a little bit of anesthesia in the bottom, so when we are working on that one, you’ll have to let me know if it hurts.” Uh, great. He told me that, then left the room with his assistant to give me time to get numb. Of course, it was just time to think, ” how much will it hurt?”

I was sitting there, pondering the pain, and flipping through the stations on the ridiculously large but ridiculously slow plasma tv, when a different assistant came in the room.

She told me that my normal dentist doesn’t work there anymore (explains why I was seeing this new guy) and that he was the only “in-network” (or whatever they call it) dentist. So if I used this guy, today, it would cost more.

Uh. No thanks.

She was really apologetic, which I appreciated. And I told her it was no big deal, and made an appointment for May 15* when the other in-network dentist comes back from maternity leave.

I would rather use an in-network dentist and save myself the money, especially since these cavities are so small and probably don’t even need to be filled. Thank heavens she caught it before they started working on me.

But now I have a numb face, and for nothing. I just tried to drink some water… yeah, that was amusing. And I’m super hungry, but I am not sure if I should eat anything? Ha ha. Maybe this numbness will help me relax!

*Sister, will you come hold my hand?

Comments (16)

By kilax, April 9, 2009 5:17 am

Update on yesterday’s post: I realized that it was impossible for me to have a quiet day on a work day. In fact, I realized that being so busy at work is probably fueling a lot of my over-thinking and maybe a bit of anxiety. Today’s post is kind of related.

I decided my quiet day will have to be tomorrow (I have the day off) or this weekend. We have some fun activities planned – Farmers Market, baking cookies, running, maybe bowling – I should be able to find relaxation and calm!

I was trying to explain to Steven the other day that I think my new* job has made me more “vocal.” That’s not exactly the right word, but I’ll explain.

I am in more of a project manager position now. It’s not my title, but it’s what I do. I’ve been finding that I need to speak up a lot more lately, to keep things in the best interest for my company and our clients.

But I’ve found some side effects to my “vocality,” and I am not sure if they are positive or negative.

At work, I’ve been a bit short with a couple of people. I don’t want to go into much detail about that, but I feel like I should be nicer, and give people the benefit of the doubt… even when I feel like they really, REALLY have not earned it.

At home, I’ve been more “direct” when dealing with companies. I let the Nissan Customer Service department know exactly** what I thought of their service on Saturday. I told the Sun-Times I was canceling my subscription because they couldn’t get their act together. I argued with the dentist about why my bills are coming to my home in MY HUSBAND’S NAME when we don’t share insurance.

On the plus side, I feel good saying what I want to say and not playing any games. But I know I am coming off as a bitch***. And I don’t want to be the bitchy demanding customer, because Steven works with customers like that most days, and I see what it does to him.

But here’s the thing. I don’t want to waste any time. I feel more and more pressed for time EVERY day. I am struggling with it so much right now, and I think that has a lot to do with what I wrote about yesterday. So if I can cut through a lot of bullcrap by being direct and honest, why not do it?

I just need to sound sweet and nice. And – make it clear that I don’t want to be rude, impolite, or nasty. I just want to be direct and honest, and get to the point.

As a side note, there are a few personal relationships I have, where I wish I could be this direct and honest. Instead of playing their games.

I am really honest with my parents (and my husband, of course). I think about that a lot. They get the 100% version of me. Nothing’s fake. I tell it like I see it to them. I think I am too honest sometimes. But in my most important relationships, why not show myself exactly as I am? What would be the point of doing otherwise? Facades are too much upkeep and stress.

*Can I still call it new if I’ve been working there since 12/8/08?
**Yes, it felt good to tell them I went and bought an Infiniti after I left their showroom and crappy offer behind.
***Steven cofirmed this.