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By kilax, September 8, 2009 1:05 pm

Day One of Operation “Appear Awake at Work” is off to a rocky start.*

Can you even tell I have makeup on in this photo?!

I am probably setting myself up for failure by trying to wake up so early. Last night was one of those nights where the bed felt perfect and I instantly fell asleep. And I didn’t wake up once!** Not until this morning, when Steven was rubbing my arm (and I was thinking, “What’s he up to?!” Winky Wink.) then said, “Are you going to get up?” It was 4:05. My alarm had gone off at 4:00, and I hadn’t even realized it… yet had somehow managed to turn it off. Weird. Good thing he woke me up!

This weekend was so relaxing. I don’t recall the last time I’ve felt so relaxed. I got a full nine hours of sleep on both Friday and Saturday night, and felt refreshed and energetic all day Saturday and Sunday. It was really weird not to feel tired and crash and the middle of the day like I normally do.

It sure would be great to get that much sleep every night.

I had to wake up earlier this morning so I can make it to an evening appointment with my therapist (Yay flexible work hours!). I think it’s been a month since I last saw her. I canceled my last appointment because I didn’t feel like I had made much progress. And I didn’t feel like sitting there, complaining about the same old issues. It would just make me feel worse for, well, not having made any progress on the same old issues!***

It’s so weird to sit and talk to someone for an hour about how you feel and not have to ask them anything AT ALL. When I am talking to someone, I am naturally conscious of how much I am talking in comparison to them, if I am interrupting them, and if they look bored. Well, talking to a therapist throws all of that out the window. I can just go on and on about whatever I want, and they have to listen. Yippee!

The only problem is that I enjoy bitching to my therapist so much that I have a hard time remembering what she says. She has a lot of good feedback, ideas and analogies, but she tells me so much that I can’t remember it all. An hour is a long time! Maybe I should bring a notepad.

*I’ve decided it’s time to start putting some effort into my appearance again. I am sick of the “you look so tired” comments. I am tired, DAMMIT!
**I’ve been having issues with waking up often in the night, so this is awesome.
***I doubt some issues EVER go away.