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By kilax, December 12, 2014 6:18 am

One of our favorite pastimes is watching movies. On average we see about one in the theater a month, and watch between four and seven at home a week. Ha, of course you guys know I love the movies – we even hosted an Oscars party this year!

Movies we’ve seen in 2014 (not pictured: The Lego Movie, Captain America: Winter Soldier, Divergent, Lucy). 

So this week, we were watching the DVD of a movie we saw earlier in the year at the theater. I was excited to get the DVD, because I really enjoyed the movie the first time I saw it.

Gah! Instead, at home, I found myself bored and restless, playing on my phone, thinking about other things I needed to do.

Have you ever liked a movie more in the theater than on DVD? Or the other way around?

The thing is – I still liked the film. I just have a really hard time unplugging at home, to watch a film and fully immerse myself in it, like I can in the theater.

It’s that damn phone. And my lack of self control, of course.

I started thinking – what other places, besides the theater, do I absolutely pay 100% attention to what is going on and ignore my phone? Hmm… most meals out (except the horrible habit of using my phone as a watch), plays/concerts, sometimes in work training, um, on an airplane before they changed that rule, during most of my runs (but not all of it), when I’m with a friend (or friends) or family… yeah. That’s a short list.

If movies seem better because I’m fully paying attention to them, I gotta imagine most things in life would be, too. I need to seek out that movie theater focus elsewhere (but not the crappy parts of the movie theater experience, ha!).

Ha ha, this post makes it sound like I’m addicted to my phone. I’m not. I usually use it the most when I’m alone and spend the majority of my time on Duolingo and in Feedly (I don’t have personal Facebook on my phone). When I’m with people I try not to look at it (or excuse myself to respond to a text). Cause… why be with people if you’re all going to be looking at your phones? So I guess what I need to work on is using my phone so much at home! Need to be more serious about the “family time” rule!

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By kilax, December 9, 2014 6:01 am

Yesterday was my six-year anniversary at work! While six years is the longest I’ve worked at any job, it’s hardly a drop in the bucket for a federal employee. A LOT of people work at my agency for their entire career from college to retirement. Thirty-five and forty years of service is not that uncommon, which is pretty cool (when I don’t think about that in comparison to how many more years of my life I’ll be working, ha ha)!

Strangely, I feel like I should be introspective about this anniversary, and think about upcoming years at work… but that’s just not me. I’m not a goal-setter or very long term planner. Really, if my job has taught me one thing, it’s how to go with the flow and be adaptable during times of uncertainty. Things are constantly changing in the federal workforce (for better or for worse), and I’m actually astonished at how much my job has changed in six years, and wonder what the future will bring. But because it does change so much, I realize it’s futile to put much stock in future goals/plans, which sounds horribly pessimistic, but truthfully, is just reality.

Sigh, I really thought I was giving you guys a break from running talk, which has been way too abundant on this blog lately, but my thoughts about work preparing me for uncertainty connect way too easily with an interesting article I just read in the January/February issue of Running Times.

In the article, the author talks about how we maintain as much control in our interval/speed running workouts as we can – we decide on the pace, duration, intensity, rest intervals and so forth. You often start a workout and expect a certain outcome from it. Which is all fine and dandy, except that is not how races work – you have no idea what the competition will bring (if that matters to you), what the conditions will be that day, and how you’ll feel. Basically, there is much more uncertainty at a race – all you know is when it is and how long you’ll run.

So the author suggests training for uncertainty, to strengthen that mental muscle, with some fun ideas:

1. If you work with a coach, have them divulge less details about the workout in advance.
2. If you’re with a group, encourage people in the group to “surge” forward from time to time, and have everyone keep up.
3. If you’re alone, be less of a slave to the watch for those repeats, and run by feel for some. 
4. Or have “uncertainty” days where you choose from a list of workouts or roll a die to see what you’ll do.

Interesting, right? I liked xaarlin‘s idea when I shared this article with her – that on our speed days, we contact the other person right before the workout and they choose from a list of workout ideas, what you’ll be doing. Sounds like fun (even though I tend to be someone who doesn’t like being told what to do, and can’t follow a plan – this is kind of different from a plan, though!).

Even though I’m not someone who does any sort of speed work, and rarely races competitively, I do think something like this would be good for mental training. I was shocked at the race Friday night when someone tried to pass me right before the first mile and I could surge ahead. Maybe that can translate over in to mid-race tiredness with longer distances (when I have no hope of an age group placement and can’t use that for a mental push)?! Maybe I’ll try this sort of training out in the new year.

So, yeah. Planning to train for uncertainty. Trying to be ready for life’s little hiccups. Seems like we’re trying to cheat the system! Hee hee, but it’s something I see as important in all aspects of life – at work, in exercise, in relationships – the more prepared you are that stuff might not go as planned, the more capable you are of dealing with it (duh, Kim, we know!).

How do you prepare for uncertainty in your life?

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By kilax, November 24, 2014 6:23 am

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit guilty about my sharing habits with my girlfriends, because I’ve realized I favor certain communication methods over others, and it’s mostly up to chance on who I will communicate with next, and how. So I am finding myself saying more often, “Did I tell you about this?” and being surprised that I didn’t (and feeling that guilt). 

Ha ha, let me explain. First of all, I feel very lucky to have several close girlfriends*, and secondly, I usually don’t have anything “important” to communicate with them**. Just my typical day-to-day blatherings. 

But who I talk with, and how, changes on a day-to-day basis, so what gets shared with whom does as well. 

I prefer in-person communication above all other. But we can’t see our friends every day, can we? So after that, I really like google chat, cause it’s easier to type using a keyboard, than texting. And it’s live communication. Then, email is nice. And texting is good too***, but some things are just too much to put in a text. 

So, it’s all very obvious, but I have just been thinking about how the people I see in person, tend to get news the soonest, then maybe someone I google chat with, or write an email to, and so on. Ha, notice that phone calls were not on that list? I only call my mother and grandmothers.

Which… brings me to the point of this whole post (long arse intro, huh?!). My parents were in town this weekend and we had such a nice visit with them. The four of us did things together, as well as spending time with other people, but I also had the chance to have some one-on-one time with my mom and dad, separately. 

You guys know that I get that one-on-one time with my dad quite often when I see him, because the two of us work out together. And I truly cherish that time with him. I gossip away, and when I shut up, I get to hear what is going on in his life, ha ha. 

But I rarely, RARELY, get that one-on-one time with my mother. Like… I can’t remember the last time I did before this weekend. When I am around her, there are almost always other people there, too. And she is usually busy, taking care of people! And when I call, she is often on the go, or around other people. 

So, to have that time with her, was just fantastic. We talked about a lot of different things I know we never would have, had we not been one-on-one.

Sigh, I realized though, that I am horrible about keeping them up to date in things that are going on in my personal life****. You know, the things I started out this blog post talking about – the day-to-day blatherings. At least that made me feel better about how quickly I share them with my girlfriends, as I was updating my parents on things that happened over the entire last year!

With whom would you like some more one-on-one time?

*and interestingly, mostly from different social groups – not many are friends with one another
**as in, why do I even feel guilty if they are missing out on my dramz? ha ha
***and really fantastic for keeping in touch, just not sharing long stories, hee hee
****really, just talking about small things here – I tell them “important” news

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By kilax, November 20, 2014 4:18 pm

On Monday, Steven said goodbye and was heading out the door for work when I called to him, “Wait! Don’t I get a goodbye kiss?!”

So he walked over for one. 

And shocked me on the lips. Ouch! 

Ha ha. It’s that time of year. It’s dry. We’re all picking up static electricity. Poor Data has it the worst. You can see his fur light up if you pet him in the dark. 

And my hands! What the heck! Every year. EVERY DANG YEAR! The right one is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more dried out than the left one. Gosh, it hurts so much. 

What do you people do so you don’t get all dried out when the humidity and temperature drop? Use humidifiers? Actually use lotion? 4za <—-added text from Data

Hmm, maybe the lotion thing would be a good start. Muah ha ha. 

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By kilax, November 19, 2014 6:42 am

I’d love to take an anatomy class and woo hoo – our local, fab community college offers one!

I love this muscular system cheat sheet my parents gave me, but I’d like to rely on it a bit less.

Sigh, the problem though?! It’s online, and I struggle BIG TIME with learning from videos. Sigh sigh sigh.

What’s your preferred learning mode? In person? Hands on? Classroom? Textbook? Video? Osmosis?

I greatly prefer a classroom/in-person setting with hands on training when applicable. This is followed by text book. I can learn from a book, I just really have to focus, and hey, that’s easier for me in a classroom. Video? Not a good chance. With dual monitors, I’m constantly screwing around with something on the other screen. It’s pathetic how short my attention span is when it comes to watching videos (for learning or for fun).

Maybe I’ll look around and see if other local colleges offer a weekend course. Or I’ll just have to learn to focus on the screen!

(Total FWP, fo sho. I’m grateful to have the opportunity to expand my knowledge, and the money and resources to do so. Just thinking about how I learn best, is all.)

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By kilax, November 18, 2014 7:35 pm

A photo just popped up on my kitchen digital frame that made me realize I’ve only run with my running club once this year. And that was in *cough* January. 

Oops?

Not really oops. In December I contemplated whether I’d rejoin the club or not. I’d been a member since very late 2010, but hadn’t done much with them for the past year and a half. Not for any bad reason. It’s just that I joined, originally, got/learned what I needed, then cut back.

The running club was a fantastic way for me to meet new people. And then meet people through those people. Like, Brian, at Essential Fitness, which is where I work as a personal trainer now. I first met him in very early 2011, never thinking I’d be working for him some day!

And also, through those people, I learned a lot about the area I live in – places to run I didn’t know about, which schools are the best (not that this knowledge affects me, but it’s interesting), new shops, best roads to take to avoid traffic, and so on. 

The thing is, I don’t use the club anymore to support those relationships (and haven’t for a long time). I’ve taken them outside of the club. They’re good enough that they sustain on their own. I don’t go to club events, or join club runs (I’ve learned I prefer to run solo or one-on-one (group runs are not my thing)). 

I’ve noticed other people are like this too – they got what they needed (and it was good) – and now they are cutting back. Or have completely cut back. 

Again, no malice. It’s just the cycle of life. 

I don’t plan on rejoining in 2015, since my interaction this year so far, has been ONE run, and liking posts on Facebook. 

But hey, thankfully Facebook is around. I won’t be on the club page anymore, but I can still see what everyone is up to on their personal pages (and all the time I see them in person)!

Are you a member of a running club? Have you ever left a club, because you felt like you got what you needed out of it?

Ha! That last question makes me sound like I don’t know what a club is – a group of people organized around a similar interest/purpose. People who mostly don’t just come and go. Oops. Again. 

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By kilax, November 17, 2014 11:26 am

What if you could only gift people “homemade” items this holiday season? What would those gifts be?

(Ha ha, I know, another holiday post SO soon! Hey, better this than what I’ve been thinking about – how this time of year makes me feel bad about how well I don’t know certain family members, and vice versa.)

As I am bundled up at work today, wearing some finger-less gloves that a friend made me, I’m thinking about what a nice, thoughtful, useful gift that was… and how I’ve used them for years!

And my mind also wandered to “what could I make for someone?” Um… I bake. I can make those fleece cut & tie blankets. Err… I can offer personal training sessions? Ha ha – no one wants that. 

Man, I need some skillz! Knitting/crocheting (whatever the difference is) is actually something I’d like to learn! And I could probably stand to try a few other things.

Or, I could just buy items from my talented friends and family! I have a second cousin who makes pens, bowls, jewelry and other items out of wood. My friend Kelly makes beautiful wreaths. And Steven is super duper handy! Hee hee.

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By kilax, November 14, 2014 6:39 am

Or instagram or any other social media platform that uses metrics to show you the amount of “interest” in your postings, whether by likes, followers, etc. (And really… was the “like” feature always there? I can’t even recall!)

Well, this article is interesting (pdf here) (highly recommend if you have the time to read it!). The author discovered there is a browser plug-in called “Facebook Demetricator,” which removes all of the “numbers” from Facebook – likes count, who liked it, dates, etc. The plug-in description explains it well:

The Facebook interface is filled with numbers. These numbers, or metrics, measure and present our social value and activity, enumerating friends, likes, comments, and more. Facebook Demetricator is a web browser addon that hides these metrics. No longer is the focus on how many friends you have or on how much they like your status, but on who they are and what they said. Friend counts disappear. ’16 people like this’ becomes ‘people like this’. Through changes like these, Demetricator invites Facebook’s users to try the system without the numbers, to see how their experience is changed by their absence. With this work I aim to disrupt the prescribed sociality these metrics produce, enabling a network society that isn’t dependent on quantification.

Interesting to think that you get your “social value” from places like Facebook, but hey! That is the society we live in now. And that is what made the author of the article try it – they read a paper the plug-in developer, Benjamin Grosser, had written, where the point was that people are using these numbers to assign value to their relationships and life. SCARY! (or not? normal, maybe? sadly?)

So what did the author think after using the plug-in?

• They weren’t sure if it was “liberating or invalidating” to not know how many likes a photo would get. 
• They did like not seeing who liked something, then liking it themselves, based on its merit and not feeling like they had to, because their friends did. I thought this was really interesting. I have liked things after seeing a friend like them, too. 
• They felt immune to “viral posts, to Facebook peer-pressure, and to acutely targeted ads.” They hardly clicked anything, anymore, feeling like they were in a vacuum.

Super interesting, right?!

Alright, now tell me…  would you try this Demetricator plug-in? Or do you NEEEEEED your numbers?!

Of course, I turned it on, to try! Here is a screenshot of the changes I noticed so far (showing my blog page for privacy reasons, but it’s similar on the personal page):

(Also, if someone likes a comment, it doesn’t show who, or how many, just that it was liked – you have to click on it to see by whom. And I really like that it turns off how many unread posts you have in your groups!!!)

But, I think I will still see these metrics in the pages app on my phone and on the iPad! We’ll see how this experiment goes!

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By kilax, November 13, 2014 6:31 am

Crazy how much the closing statement of an article can make me think so much about “tribe,” labels, and branding.

In Rachel Toor’s December Running Times column (pdf here), she compares the “excessive celebrations” of football to the ways runners display their accomplishments. It inevitably comes around to the way runners sometimes celebrate themselves (and their feats) on social media, or by putting a 13.1 or 26.2 sticker on their car, or by wearing their medal or race shirt around. She ends the article saying she misses the subtlety of an old giant Timex Ironman watch she used to wear, because it identified her to the tribe of runner without being so “in your face” about it (now she uses her phone and a Garmin instead). 

Tribe. What a perfect way to put it. 

There are many tribes to which we can choose to identify ourselves with – the type of exercise you do, what you eat, what you drink, if you have kids or not, if you have pets or not, the types of activities you do (or don’t do), your religion… you get the idea. But! How do we identify ourselves to these tribes, and… do we want to?

Like Toor, I personally prefer subtlety in my tribe identification. Ha ha, funny I say that, since I have the tribe of running permanently inked on my back, but that is not going to be visible that often.  I like the tribe reveal to be more organic, like a few weeks ago, when wearing an old pair of running shoes (to change out of, obvs) to a meeting caused a contractor to ask me what I think of those shoes, and ask me about running.

Subtlety (actually, privacy) is something I’ve started to prefer over the last few years, really, as social media has expanded. It’s blatant that people are making assumptions about me based on what I put out there (and how they interpret it), so I really don’t put much of critical substance in the interwebs. 

And that is the risk with tribe identification, and why I avoid being identified as part of some of the tribes I could. We identify in the first place, because it makes us feel good to belong. It feels good to be part of a group. It feels good to say, “I did that!” or “I don’t do that!” or “I made that!” or “I drink that!” or “I believe that!” or whatever. And have people relate. 

And it gives you power. By claiming a tribe, you are taking control over your identification/personal branding. But you are also giving power to other people, to make assumptions about you, based on what they already think about that tribe. Confusing, right? So do you claim or tribe, or not?

Not that we should give a crap about other people’s assumptions. But, it may still make you think twice about which tribes you identify with! That is why I avoid the tribe of vegan. I don’t go out of my way to tell people I am vegan. Vegans have a pretty negative connotation, and I can totally see why. A lot of them that I’ve met have been judgmental a-holes.  Which is a shame, because “vegan” can be a really useful label to use, when trying to explain your dietary preferences. Too bad it’s so damn loaded of a word. 

Now that you’ve read this far (if you made it through the blabbering), you can probably think of some tribe identification you have seen in other people. I see it A LOT. And unfortunately, some of it is people forcing themselves to do things to identify with that tribe, despite not liking it, or preferring it. I see this a lot in the health and fitness arena, and honestly, it concerns me. People who really want to do a certain exercise, because they want to be seen as someone who does that… despite hating the exercise. Or people who follow a certain diet, and struggle with it, but want to be seen as “healthy.” I am sure you’ve seen it to. 

I encourage everyone to follow what Torr said in her column – “We each get to figure out how much cheering we require and get it where we can.” Do what you need. Identify with the tribes you need to, how you want to. Post away on Facebook if you need to! Don’t, if you don’t like it. Share what you want. Keep things private. Whatever. Just don’t get too lost from the tribe of you! That’s the most important tribe with which to identify. 

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By kilax, November 11, 2014 11:58 am

To be thinking about holiday gifts?

Usually I am all ready for Christmas by November 1. I know. I am one of those people. 

Oh! And I don’t mean ready in the sense that I have my house decorated and meals planned and gifts purchased. Ha ha ha. No. 

I mean ready, in the sense that I am excited for it! Feeling gung ho about it!

Well, it’s November 11th, and I am still waiting for those feelings to kick in. The holiday still seems far away, even though it isn’t. 

I’m not feeling grinchy or anything. I was super excited to get my first Starbucks red cup drink last week. 

I’m ready for the radio station to start playing holiday tunes. I’m greatly looking forward to watching holiday movies with my mom when she visits in a week. And somewhat looking forward to outlet mall shopping with her, ha ha. 

And that’s probably the big thing that is making me feel like I am not in my normal holiday mood – the gift ideas. I usually only have a few presents purchased by this time in November and some ideas for the rest, but this year, I have very few (I have an idea for one friend, and a few for Steven). And I am not feeling too excited about present research. 

Because of that, and because I think it’s a fun idea, I asked a few friends if they wanted to do “experiences” this year instead of gifts. A spa day. A hotel and a race the next day. Spending time together. Making memories. Ha ha, queue cheesy music here—>!

Luckily, the friends I talked to about it really liked the idea, and didn’t seem to think it was somewhat (only somewhat) what it feels like to me – a cop out. But the thing is, the friends I asked are the friends I would have no problem finding gifts for, and kind of gift to all year long.  They’re the people I feel really excited about having a day planned out in the calendar to spend with. 

And researching races and other things to do with friends is a lot more appealing to me, right now, than researching gifts. Ha ha, that is probably because another reason I don’t have Christmas-brain yet is because I have marathon-brain! I am so focused on that December 14th marathon, that 11 days after, I’m going to be like “Christmas, what?!??!?!” Ha ha. 

Do you get in to the holiday mood? About what time of year?