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By kilax, April 16, 2008 5:57 am

Update: It is also radioactive girl’s birthday today! Happy Birthday! Wow… July’s the month to get busy!

There are four blogger birthdays this week (that I know of!). Today is Diane’s, so Happy Birthday Diane! (And feel better soon!) Friday belongs to Gina and sizzle. So… Happy Early Birthday Gina and Happy Early Birthday sizzle! And Lisa’s is this week as well… Happy Birthday Lisa!

And… I want to tell you about the book I bought Gina for her birthday. I have this little problem with thumbing through quite a bit of the books I buy for my friends… hey, it happens.

I read about Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure in some magazine I got in the mail in March. The premise of the book is, you guessed it, six-word memoirs of authors. Some of my favorites are:

“No shit I’m critical – you’re flawed.” – Elizabeth Koch

“I am awfully bored at work.” – Chris Ponchak

“Didn’t fit in then; still don’t.” – Bob Fingerman

“Asked to quiet down; spoke louder.” – Wendy Lee

Of course, I could go on and on… I recommend picking up a copy of the book, just because these memoirs really make you think.

Right before I bought the book I found out that another blogger – Freak Magnet – created her own six-word memoir on her blog! What a fun idea for us bloggers! Has this gone around all ready and I missed it? I’ve seen it a few other places since I originally wrote this post…

Anyway, here’s mine, which took a while to think up. Please share yours in your blog, or in the comments!

Always known as “the loud one.”

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Today’s Idiom: Pyrrhic victory – a too costly victory

Getting our neighbors to quiet down was a Pyrrhic victory – we now live in peace inside our home, but are uneasy being outside our home… and I feel guilty for being so spiteful and mean-spirited.

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By kilax, April 15, 2008 5:43 am

Dear JCPenney/Worthington Clothing Co.,

I don’t blame you. I blame myself for buying your shirt and taking it home, only to have to return it after getting a second opinion (thank heavens for my husband’s honesty).

But I just wanted to let you know – the Pleat detail shirt? It doesn’t look so good on us bigger girls. We like to wear shirts that make our bodies look slimmer, or at least in proportion. We don’t like shirts that make us like we’re wearing shoulder pads, ready to step out onto the football field.

It looks good on Natalie Portman. But not on me.

I appreciate that you offered it in my size. But I just wanted to give you a heads up on this one – there might be a lot of returns.

Thanks for trying,

kilax

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Today’s Idiom: the sword of Damocles – any imminent danger

Even though my boss gave me a raise, I sometimes feel like the sword of Damocles is hanging over my head – at any minute, I could be kicked out of there.

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By kilax, April 14, 2008 5:46 am

Notice a similarity in the two books I just added to my amazon wishlist?

It’s a fantasy I can’t give up. Although before, it was fueled more by my desire to travel and experience new cultures, than by my frustration with our country’s… politics.

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Today’s Idiom: to throw cold water – to discourage a plan or idea

Kim kept talking to Steven about traveling over the summer, but he threw cold water on the idea by asking “and how are we going to pay for that?”

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By kilax, April 8, 2008 8:50 am

It perplexes me that any pedestrian in the Chicago Loop would run through the crosswalk when the “do not walk” sign is present – rather than wait 20 seconds for the “walk sign” to appear again.

Is the pedestrian in such a hurry to get to work that they would rather risk their life running in front of traffic than be late?

There are a lot of cars in the Loop during rush hour. I have a suspicion the car is most likely to win the race.

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Today’s Idiom: to pour oil on troubled waters – to make peace, to calm someone down

I tried to pour oil on troubled waters, but Steven was so infuriated he wouldn’t listen to me, and continued to yell back at our neighbors.

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By kilax, April 7, 2008 6:04 am

Guess what? It’s Celebrate Architecture Week!

Officially, I don’t know what that means. I know it doesn’t mean we will be having a party in my office. Or getting any days of from work. Or really even discussing it.

I think it was created last year to celebrate (boast about *cough*) the 150-year anniversary of the American Institute of Architects (of which I am an Associate Member… under Steven’s last name. Oops, I’ve created a person who doesn’t legally exist!).

Unofficially, I am going to use this as an excuse to ask you what your favorite building is, and why. It could be a place you’ve lived in, went to school in, worked in, walked by, got arrested in… or never even seen! It could be existing, planned to be built, or demolished. If you can’t pick one, tell me about them all! If you don’t like any, tell me why! Believe me, whatever you say is going to interest me, because this is the dorky stuff I am in to (Hey, it’s my job to be a dork).

Since I am asking you, I must tell you what MY favorite building is – the Sagrada Família designed by Antoni Gaudí in Barcelona Spain. (See my personal photos of it here).

I love everything about the Sagrada Família, but especially it’s beauty and structural system. It is completely unconventional and creative. You are awestruck upon seeing it – whether or not you like it! I cant wait to see it completed someday. In person.

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Today’s Idiom: a flash in the pan – promising at the start but then disappointing

Kim was really excited after training her new coworker. She listened intently, asked a lot of great questions, and showed promise and dedication in her first days of work. Unfortunately, she turned out to be a flash in the pan – not a few days later and she was writing 30-minute personal emails, playing around on MySpace, and searching for a new home – while at work.

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By kilax, April 6, 2008 7:55 pm

I used to be that woman who refused to buy clothes that weren’t a certain size. Even though the clothing size label isn’t on the outside of clothing, it still makes me feel rotten on the inside to not be wearing “my size.” It’s a mental thing.

So I wore all “my size” clothes until they got tighter and tighter. Then I finally went shopping and couldn’t find anything that “fit.” Well duh. I kept looking for “my size.”

Steven was with me and trying his hardest to help me find a pair of pants for work. He brought me a nice pair of pants and said, “Why don’t you try these on?”

Well, I freaked out. “THOSE WON’T FIT!”

“What do you mean they won’t fit?” he asked. “You haven’t even tried them on!”

“They are my OLD size. I don’t fit that size anymore. I need something BIGGER.”

After I told him, I wanted to cry. But at the same time, getting it out made me feel better. I didn’t feel so bad buying bigger clothes after that.

And honestly, I don’t think I am a disgusting, unattractive person at this weight. I just look at pictures of myself, say, 50 pounds ago, and feel so sad for what I know I can be.

*that is not me in the photo, but probably close to what I look like*

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Today’s Idiom: a pig in a poke – an item you purchase without having seen; a disappointment

Luckily, our new couch and loveseat didn’t turn out to be a pig in a poke! We placed our order based off of a picture in an ad!

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By kilax, April 5, 2008 11:56 am

Today I showed this book to Steven at the bookstore and said, “Steven, look at this book! I think it will like, help me with my vocabulary! And sounding smarter and stuff.”

Alright, that is not a direct quote, but it is unfortunately close to what I actually said.

I’ve wanted to improve my vocabulary for sometime now. And one of my coworkers has an extremely wide range of vocabulary, and I am just a teensy bit jealous…

I bought the book and started working in it tonight when I realized each daily worksheet has a feature called “Today’s Idiom.” Apparently, an “idiom” is what I actually meant the other day when I said “A lot of my older colleagues use figures of speech I have never heard before…”

So, I am going to introduce a new feature on my blog to help me learn the idioms – I will share them here at the end of each post, in a section called “Today’s Idiom.” Well, I’ll do that until I get sick of it anyway.

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Today’s Idiom: to eat humble pie – to admit your error and apologize

A few weeks ago, when Christina and Kyle were here, we challenged them to a game of bowling. After losing miserably, Steven and I both had to eat humble pie. (Steven and I don’t like the taste of humble pie, so on Friday we each bought our own custom bowling ball. Now Christina and Kyle are going to get some humble pie in their FACES the next time they’re here.)