No more letters to Rome
I wrote the excerpt below on 10/12/06 (scroll down on this page). I had just returned from Rome and was missing a friend I had met there:
LETTERS TO ROME | OCTOBER 12, 2006
Every week, I write and send a letter to Rixa. She is my German friend that I worked with at the cat shelter in Rome.
I miss talking to her and seeing her on a daily basis (because I seriously did work at the cat shelter every night), and I wonder how she is doing. Every time I send a letter I hope that she will send a response in return.
But she never does (at least, not yet). And even though she told me before I left that she wouldn’t have a lot of time to write to me, I am still a little hopeful. How’s that for nice and optimistic?
I wanted to make sure she was receiving my letters, so I emailed another friend of mine at the shelter (Rixa does not do email). And I did not get a response back. Arg.
So I am feeling a bit bummed out about it all. I feel like information is being withheld from me because I am overseas! I suppose this is one of the consequences of having friends in a faraway country.
But then I had an epiphany – why don’t I just call her? All I need to do is by a phone card and find out if I can use it on my cell phone (probably not) or find a land line to use. Then I can talk to her right away! I am such a genius.
Bad blogger mistake – I never followed up with that post (that I recall). I did get in touch with Rixa – she called me. I continued to send her letters (not as frequently as mentioned) since then, and she would call me every few months.
I received an email tonight from a volunteer at the shelter Rixa and I worked at in Rome – Rixa passed away from cancer on May 12.
Interestingly enough, they were not contacting me only to tell me the news, they were also wondering if I had any picture of her. No one in her family did and they thought that I might. They were right. I sent the one above. Apparently, it is tradition in Germany to post a picture on one’s tomb.
I knew Rixa was sick, but her English was not good enough to explain to me what was going on. And even if she could, she was not the type to dwell on herself.
Either way, I did not expect to receive this email. Honestly, I had fantasies in my head of meeting up with her again someday in Rome. I met her at the beginning of my stay in Rome (January 2006) and we worked together almost every night until I left (August 2006). She was like a grandmother* to me. She was my closest companion when I was there. Even though we had completely different life experiences, we could relate on so much.
I’ll miss her. And the opportunity to ever see her again.
Have you ever bonded with someone who was much older or younger than you?
*I would say mother, but there was a huge age difference between us. I think about 50+ years.
Themocracy
My husband is 17 yrs older than me!
Wow, what a tough thing to hear. 🙁 One of my favorite people is 94 years old. I see her every evening at work and know that when she dies, my heart will break.
Oh, Kim, I am so sorry to hear about your friend passing – it is hard to lose someone you have a special bond with, even if you didn’t know them that long or didn’t live close to them. It is still so hard. I’m sending you hugs and good thoughts.
I’m sorry to hear that you lost someone so close to you. It is always hard to leave people you care for, but even harder to know you will never see them again. What a blessing it must have been for you to send the photo to her family. I tend to get along better with people who are older than me compared to people my own age.
Oh, wow. That is a really hard e-mail to receive. I’m so sorry that this door has closed on a really amazing, overseas friendship. At least you have a lot of really good memories from spending all that time together.
That is a tough thing to find out. Cherish your memories (at least you had your blog and a photo!) and she will never truly die.
Sounds like an amazing friendship, girl. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I remember that post!
So sorry for your loss 🙁
My stand has always been that a friendship is to be treasured, no matter what form it takes, and with whom it happens to be (this probably developed because of my lack of connection with my own immediate family: I go back to Malaysia to meet my friends [and for the food], not for family!).
While I perhaps have not had the opportunity to hit if off with someone 50+years older than me, I definitely have good friends with a +/- 15 year difference!
So sorry to hear about Rixa… I can totally understanding bonding with someone older. I don’t really discriminate by age. One of my very good friends is 20 years older than me. I don’t usually relate to people younger than me though. I love my husband’s grandpa. There are so many interesting, wonderful people in the world, of all ages.
I’m sorry about your friend, Kim. As you know, most of my friends are younger…but not by that much. How lucky that you had such a special friendship. 🙂
That sounds like a wonderful friendship – coming together from different nationalities and ages because of being kindred spirits on the inside. My thoughts are with you for losing your special friend today.
my piano teacher (who was 90 when i was 12) developed quite a friendship. she died at 100, when i graduated college but we kept in touch til the end.
I was good friends with a lady that I met while working my first job (Sears sales associate). We used to take breaks together and she would invite me out to her house sometimes. I was 18 and she was in her 60s and really close to retirement.
First, I am sorry you lost a friend.
Yes, in fact many of my friends are older. I hacve always felt out of touch with my generation and sadly, have very few close friends my age. One of my closest friends, Karen, is my best friends mom…he passed away when we were 19 but Karen and I have stayed close. I don’t think age matters.
I’m sorry for your loss- it sounds like the two of you had a special relationship despite your age difference- isn’t that neat how age doesn’t matter once you become an adult?
That is too bad. It sounds like you had a fun relationship. I have friends that are a lot older too I feel.
oh, that is very sad. i think it speaks volumes that you had the one picture of her. what a tribute and touching to place it on the tomb. i had/have a friend who i connected with. she was a counselor at the school i got hired at. she was a true mentor and taught me anything she could. unfortunately, we drifted apart, we are still in touch, but not like before. she has offered to be my mentor, should i get a job in the schools again. i must admit, that would be worth it right there to get the job!
My best girlfriend is in her 60s. Yes, no lie. 😀 In fact I need to send her an email to catch up with her!
I’m sorry to hear of your friend passing away. The memories and moments you’ve shared sound amazingly special.
I’m sorry to hear about Rixa … definite sadface. 🙁 My tendency is to bond with people who are older, whether it’s just a few years (like my husband) or several decades (like a few friends I’ve met through work).
That is very cool that you were able to help them out like that. Good on you.