Why worry about something only I care about?
I always feel so guilty when I am posting away and have not been commenting on my friends’ blogs posts! I will get to them! I have just been too tired to read blogs on the train. And when I have something I want to write, I always give that priority – whether that is bad or good, it makes me feel better to get things off of my chest.
I’m totally losing my mind this week. Since Sunday, all I can think about is my lower legs. I’m icing them, stretching them, foam rolling them, not running, even taking ibuprofen when I remember*… why do they still hurt (hurt areas circled in photo below**)?
I say to myself you barely run, you run slow, you run low mileage, there is no reason your legs should ache!
But I also say you got too fat, you ran too many hills, you didn’t stretch properly, you did too much cross training and now you are paying the price.
Ah, the back and forth mental battle. I swing from extreme optimism that this is just an off week and I will be fine soon, to extreme worry and doubt that I will have to cancel all of my upcoming races.
See? I am losing my mind.
To try to comfort myself, I started thinking about why not running bothers me so much. And it’s the same problem I had before – I let it define me. It’s my fun evening activity. It’s what I do. I am a runner. Just thinking about not being able to run causes extreme angst and makes me wonder “what will others think if I can’t run?!”
And that is when I though “aha!” See, no one, no matter how much they care, will ever care about MY running as much as I do. Not even Steven (and boy, he must be sick of me this week). If I can’t run a race, people will say, “I’m sorry, I hope you are better soon!” and mean it, but they won’t think less of me for not being able to run (they might think, “I totally saw this coming!” though). And they definitely won’t waste the time thinking about it that I have.
I can’t believe I’ve been so caught up in that this week – in the worry of what others will think (and by others, I mean blog readers, because my family/coworkers don’t really ask about my running). That’s really not like me.
Have you ever really worried about something and the way it makes you look to others, only to realize that you are probably the only one who cares about it so much?
Not to say that no one cares about us and our concerns, just that they aren’t always as important to others as they are to us!
Side note: I took that image from a cool website called Athletes Treating Athletes. The website is a resource for self treatment for the aches and pains we get from training. Check it out!
*I rarely take medicine and forget you can take it for muscle pain!
**If I have pain in the areas circled in red, are they shin splints? Last year, my shin splints were on my inner leg.
Themocracy
Yes, I definitely know the feeling you have about “what will other people/bloggers think”. This is why, for people like us, blogging is so good as a motivation tool – we can poop out on ourselves, but God forbid we should let other people down (i.e. the federal crime of not having any workouts to post about!!!) But it does have a down side – when we keep going despite injury or other reasonable reasons… I know where you’re coming from, but try to take good care of yourself, and truly, we won’t hold it against you! PS thanks for the tip on the website – sounds right up my ally!
I’m actually getting more amazed at how much we think alike. If you have noticed, my blog is down. I “ran” my half-marathon on Sunday and got hurt pretty bad. I’ve definitely been so worried about what others would think about someone who has about a diet and running blog falling off the bandwagon with diet and not being able to run. You probably hit the nail on the head– it’s not that people don’t care (they may be genuinely concerned), but when something defines us, we can’t see the forest for the trees…
All the time! My main one is a physical thing, my arms. Seriously I have this hate relationship and worry about my arms making me look lazy (if that isn’t just ridiculous). When I work out, go out, etc I make sure to wear sleeves long enough to cover up my upper arms because of it. Logically, I know that no one else pays attention but I have yet to get over it!
Constantly! My latest ones, were I worried that we would be late for an even event though we left super early, I worried that my lost lip gloss would be found and eaten by the dog, I worried that I did not have the right accessory for an outfit. So it is some silly stuff that worries me. But then I also worry about money, weight and stress so it is a hodgepodge of stuff.
I worry all the time about my weight and probably no one really cares if I am carrying extra pounds. My loved ones just want me to be healthy and happy. But I constantly think they are ashamed of me. When really it is me that is ashamed of me.
I worry about being overweight and what people think about that. Like – they must think I have no self control or she doesn’t take care of herself. And frankly? I’m far from being super overweight. I don’t know why I worry about it so much.
I am pretty sure that 90% of what I worry about, is just me. I think it is a flaw that I will always have 🙁
You kind of sound like me right now. My right leg hurts a lot and I’m starting to freak out because I’m running a race on Saturday..
What kind of pain do you have? Is it pinpointed to one location on your leg?
Can I just say I agree to all of this post? Because I do. And hills really do kill your legs!!
I blame all the problems Ive had lately on the hills. They have done wonderful things for my butt, and Im SO unbelievably sad to cut them out of my runs, but I really think thats where my ankle problems started.
I think to some degree we all worry what other people will think of us, but no one is ever going to be as critical as you are to yourself.
I can completely relate to this!! I’m the same way when it comes to running, and it’s just ridiculous. Sometimes our bodies just need rest and even though it’s extremely frustrating, pushing it sadly isn’t going to make that feeling go away.
And I think it’s even harder NOT to wonder what others think of you in the blog world. You’re putting your workouts and/or frustrations out there for all to see. And if you define yourself as a runner, it’s hard to admit or accept when you just can’t run! So while you shouldn’t feel bad about getting caught up in it, you definitely should NOT worry. I’d say 90% people aren’t going to hold it against you or think any less of you. And those that do — well, it’s like Dr. Suess says “…those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”
Um, yes. I am doing this right now. I feel like everyone feels like I am not a runner! And all my friends are running the half marathon without me on Saturday and I feel like a failure. 🙁
They probably all wish you could run with them though! Are you still going to cheer them on?
Are you starting to wonder if our bodies think we aren’t meant to run?
You sound a little like me… though I would in no way call myself a runner!!
99% of the time, we worry about things that other people don’t even notice. And if they do, they’re not very likely to spend much time thinking about it.
<3 <3
do you ride the metro train or the el?
I ride Metra 🙂 For about an hour and 20 mins each way.
I’m extremely vain, so I guess it really doesn’t occur to me that other people might not be completely and totally engrossed in what is going on in my life. (Ha, doesn’t that sound terrible?) I have considered this idea from a beauty point of view, e.g., that I’m my biggest critic and no one else thinks I look particularly fat or tired on a given day.
With running, I get so stressed out about races, and I really have to remember that it does not matter. Even when I had a terrible half a few weeks ago and people looked up my time, no one cared! They just said, “Ooh, I’m sorry that you had a bad race! You can come back from it though” and went on their merry ways.
All the time 🙂
The pain can be shin splints, it could also be something worse. If nothing is working definitely won’t hurt to go see someone. Also, invest in some compression socks! You can do the fancy ones all over blogworld or the ones found at a drug store. It might help a bit.
Yes, definitely. I have been feeling the ups and downs mentally that you have been lately, I don’t know what’s up but maybe it’s just putting too much pressure on myself with expectations and such. Running is fun – I have to keep telling myself that.