RBF – Why didn’t I know this is a thing?
Awhile ago I had a post drafted about how I really didn’t like the way my face looked in the candid photos Steven would take of me. I looked… grumpy. Unhappy. Like something was wrong. And the pictures were from fun events, where I was having a good time! What up with dat?!
But I didn’t publish the post, because I didn’t want to it seem like I was criticizing the way I look. I wasn’t. I was just confused why I looked that way when I knew I was having a good time.
Then Gina enlightened me during our KC visit by telling me about resting bitch face (which I am abbreviating as RBF). Holy crap, guys! I have it and I didn’t even know! The description from urban dictionary is:
a person, usually a girl, who naturally looks mean when her face is expressionless, without meaning to.
Woo hoo! I’ve got it all figured out now! Er… kinda…
Gina told me about RBF because I was sharing a story with her about asking someone if something was wrong, and how that person had told me no, that they were fine. Then how I rudely said, “Oh, I thought you looked upset.” To which they responded, “That is just how my face looks. I hate it when people tell me I look upset, when it’s my natural expression.”
Oops. I thought I was being considerate, but I was really being an arse.
It’s definitely annoying to get asked over and over “is something wrong?” when something isn’t. Sometimes I feel quiet and people aren’t used to that (ha ha) so they ask a lot if something is wrong. Nope! Just being quiet. Thank you for noticing… but please quit telling me I am not acting normal. Just let me be!
On the other hand… sometimes you want to be asked if something is wrong, right? You want to be noticed.
Sigh. It’s complicated. But I now know to be more sensitive about people’s facial expressions! And to smile a bit more when the camera is out, cause I am not loving my RBD candids!
Do you have RBF? Do you get annoyed when someone asks you over and over if something is wrong… when you’re fine?
Too funny, I went on Facebook to try to find a picture for this post, and this was in the top of my feed!
Themocracy
Hah! I don’t know if I do, I have never thought about it. But it reminded me of a friend of mine, whenever he calls I’m always like, “Crap what’s wrong” and he’s always fine. It’s just his voice when he’s expressionless always has that kind of intonation. Drives him nuts when I ask, haha.
You don’t look like RBF to me though, it looks more like maybe there was sun in your eyes in that one!
Yeah, there are some soft spoken people in my life that I ask that too much of! I need to live and learn.
Ha! That would be a great excuse. It was completely overcast/foggy with no sun when that photo was taken. And there are PLENTY more like it 😉
I have actually wanted to post something about this too! Have you ever turned your camera on your phone only for it to be in reverse and you get to see your bitch face? Mine is always a bitch face! I think everyone should post the face they make while looking at their phone!
BUAH HA HA! That is a really fun idea! But you have to tell them to take the pic first, not what it is for 😉
YES
YES!!!!! It catches me off guard every time!
I think I have RBF, especially when I’m tired. My Dad’s resting face is kind of a frown and I think I’ve inherited that. I’m actually pretty aware of it and try to look less bitchy but if I’m concentrating on something or tired (which seems to be all the time), I look grouchy.
I was trying to do that in a meeting today! It’s a lot of work! Well, cause we aren’t “resting” our faces!
I’m seeing someone with RBF. Very sweet lady, but I’ve seen her scare a waitress away with her expression and we were having a great time!
I think we should start a foundation to educate people about this… 😉
Maybe we should! Sounds like the waitress didn’t know about it 😉
See? There’s definitely a need to get this information out to those who just don’t know… 🙂
We had a good laugh about it, though! 😀
I totally do- I’ve been told I look like I’m judging people, but really I just think a lot! Haha!
Ha! Yeah, it’s also RJF! 😉
Bahahaha, how did you know not about resting bitch face?! That article was on my FB feed today too (um, but I don’t have it, so not sure what FB is trying to tell me), and this one may be helpful too: http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/problems-all-people-with-resting-bitchface-will-understand
I know a few people who have it. Most notably, Bob kind of does! I finally realized it, since I DO often ask him if he’s okay/upset about something and he’s not (since Bob never gets upset – why did it take me so long to connect all of that?).
I am not sure how I missed it! I wonder if I saw references to it and just passed by? Ha ha ha. Too funny that Bob has it.
OMG – I did not know this was a thing, but I think I might be afflicted with it. 🙁
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 😛
HA! I thought RBF was “running best friend.”
I’m not sure if I have this face…guessing probably yes as I don’t hide my emotions very well. Definitely something I am working on.
I am really bad at hiding my emotions, too! But this is just when you are not really emoting anything… and your natural face looks bitchy/grumpy. LOL!
HA! I am guessing many of us have this face. LOL
It is so funny you posted about this because my friends and I were just talking about RBF this weekend at my bachelorette party. In my case RBF stands for running bitch face, anyone who has ever seen me run says I look so angry. This sweet old guy at the gym came up to me last week and said he saw me running and was going to stop and say hi, but I looked very upset and he didn’t want to bother me!
Ha! Running BF! LOL! When he said that to you, did it make you laugh? Or make you want to have less RBF? I actually try to smile when I run outside so when other people see me, they know that running can be fun (yes, cheesy).
This is amazing. Just last week, I tried to explain to a friend the mannerisms of one girl I don’t particularly care for. I described her as having a permanent scowl on her face. Maybe she’s got RBF, but I do think she has some of the not-so-nice characteristics as well (I don’t say that often). I am sure you are 100% sweet 😉
It is quite possible that people with RBF are 100% B. Ha!
Oh yeah, I am (okay, more like 75%…)
I just read a Buzzfeed thing on this very topic today, haha. The bf and I have this condition as well. We can look mad at the world together.
Article –> http://www.buzzfeed.com/elliewoodward/things-people-with-bitchy-resting-face-are-tired-of-heari
I’m pretty sure I “suffer” from RBF too–I HATE HATE HATE it when random people (sometimes on the street) would come up to me and say “you should smile” or “it’s really not that bad”. So I should walk around with an idiot grin on my face? I know I was not projecting mad/angry when these comments were made so I guess it’s just my face. I try to be really cognizant of it in meetings but it’s tough!
Oh gosh! Who the hell walks up to someone and says that stuff?! SERIOUSLY?! I felt bad asking someone if something was wrong… and that someone was a relative!
My BFF has RBF and my SIL once asked me if she didn’t like her. I told her that’s just the way she looks. Ha!
I have a similar problem but it’s that my face is often red and it isn’t usually related to sunburn… but TONS of people like to point out how red my face is and how much sun I got or how sunburnt I am… I get tired of people telling me to wear sunscreen and stay out of the sun. I am usually wearing sunscreen!
This post made me laugh! I don’t think you have a crabby face, more of an intent one. 🙂
Hee hee, thanks 😉
OMG- there is a name for this???? I have it!!!!!
At work, people are always asking if I am mad or upset. It’s just my face, which I guess is pretty terrible, haha!
This post cracked me up. Now I can diagnose myself!!
Ha ha, now you know, too! 🙂
lol this post is hilarious! I, too, am a chronic sufferer of RBF!
I have this ALL THE TIME. And I haaaaate when people tell me to smile. Or ask me what’s wrong. Or tell my friends that I clearly need a drink. Or that I need to lighten up. This often happens at bars and it is the worst.
I’m not sensitive about this at all, ha.
That would get so darn old. I am sorry people do that to you. I talked to a friend about this yesterday who said men approach her all the time and tell her to smile. WTF?!
I prefer RBF over my “I really can’t believe you are that stupid face” that I am known to give. lol
Ha ha ha. Yeah, for me, it might be better than letting some of my true emotions run freely 😉
Ahhhh! My sister has this! I don’t think she’s aware of it though. Her resting face is so bitchy but she’s usually pretty happy. I’m afraid to say something because I don’t want her to feel bad…
Is she like the others who’ve said that people are always telling them to smile and be happy and all that? I would want my sister to tell me about it… but accept that not much may be done about it, LOL!
The current Batchelorette has been criticized for having RBF. (Not that I watch the Batchelorette of course, no way, not me)!
Buah ha ha! I know a lot of people that like that show. That stinks that they are criticizing her for that, though!
LOL, i’ve never hear of RBF, but i’m totally going to keep an eye out for it now. i don’t think i have it, but i think my hubby does (although i’m sure there’s a different word for men who do this…). he always looks grumpy.
I bet there is NOT a word for men doing it… it’s accepted for them not to be smiley all the time. Kind of sexist, huh? 😉
RBF, haha! I don’t think I have it, so I’m probably always the insensitive one who’s like “Whoa, are you upset?!?”
You should ask Data if he has RBF.
Ha ha. Data has RJF – resting judgey face 😉