TRUST NO ONE
Have you heard of Williams Syndrome? I ran across this article What Happens When You Trust Too Much (pdf here) in my news feed, and with a title like that, of course I clicked through to read it.
Williams Syndrome is caused by deletion of 26 genes at conception, and has several telling characteristics, but this article focused on the behavioral components – extreme friendliness, social interest, empathy, and distraction – and how these components might affect someone with this syndrome in the workplace.
Work is an arena where relationships are forged, and alliances are built. The modern office is a test lab for social discretion, where we quickly learn who we can trust, and who we should avoid. But for individuals with Williams Syndrome, who often trust indiscriminately, this can be a problem.
The article spoke of how it’s easy for employees with Williams Syndrome to be taken advantage of, because they tend to have a decreased sense of social threat and they want to please others. So it wouldn’t cross their mind not to pay for someone else’s lunch (or loan them money, or work more or who knows what else).
Well… this is a long arse intro to what reading this article made me think about – a movie I just watched. Ha ha.
UPCOMING SPOILER ALERT!!!
Have you seen Nebraska? While it had some funny parts, I actually don’t recommend it. It’s too brutally honest. Too painful. You know that dreaded feeling of being forced to do something you don’t want to, but have to out of obligation? That is what watching most of the movie felt like, for me. I mean, there are some heart-warming parts, definitely, and the movie is done well, but mostly… it just made me feel sad about families. And Kim no like feel sad.
Anyway, on to the SPOILER. The premise of the movie is that Bruce Dern’s character thinks he won a million dollars in a Mega Sweepstakes Marketing prize, because of a letter he got from them in the mail. Everyone in his family knows it’s not real, but he insists it is, and keeps trying to walk from Montana to Nebraska to claim his prize. One of his sons sees how distraught he is over getting to Nebraska, and decides to drive him there. There is character development and all that, and some good ole father/son bonding, but in the end SPOILER RIGHT HERE when they get to the Mega Sweepstakes Marketing office in Nebraska, it turns out he did NOT win. The “code” in his letter was not a winner.
So the son is talking to the receptionist in the office, asking if this happens a lot, and she tells him that mostly elderly people come in to claim their winnings. She asks if his father has Alzheimer’s.
“No,” he answers, “He just believes what people tell him.”
“That’s too bad,” she responds.
END SPOILER
Gah, that line made me feel so sad. First of all, that someone would say “That’s too bad” when you are talking about how trusting someone else is. And secondly, that, yeah, you can’t really be 100% trusting, all the time – whether it’s because of a syndrome you have, or because that’s just the way you are, or whatever reason.
So. That is how my brain works. Read that article and it linked me back to that movie. Why I felt the need to share both here and not edit one out? Hee hee – I thought they were both interesting.
But on to the topic of trust. I know people who are overly trusting in real life. Believe anything they are told, even if it’s clearly a scam. Incredibly nice people, but gullible in a very scary way. I remember a friend being outraged when they found out a scam they were told wasn’t real. I tried to be empathetic, but it was hard, as I recognized the situation as a scam from the beginning.
I think in our digital era (*giggle*) it’s smart to be skeptical and question what you read online. But it makes the world feel so harsh, when you take that skepticism everywhere you go. When you start to second guess everything. When you don’t even make eye contact with people in the street because you think they are going to ask you for something.
And I put that quote from the article about the workplace in this post because I absolutely believe that is what happens at work. I’ve told a few friends lately that I never understood the concept of people “having their own agenda” in the workplace. Like, how to do you have the energy to do that, outside of your assigned tasks? But wow, people really do. It sure is interesting, and yeah, you learn pretty quickly who you can trust.
So, which is it, right? Believe what people tell you? Or not?
I’m sure for you, just like for me, it’s very situational, and very dependent on the person. Hopefully, we all get to lean more on the trusting side than not, though.
Do you know anyone who you feel is overly trusting?
Themocracy
I, like you, believe it’s situational. I think that it’s a great life-lesson learned somewhere during “growing up” to be able to tell the difference between who you can trust and who you can’t. I think I still tend to be more gullible than I should be, trying to see good in people and give the benefit of the doubt, and sometimes this means getting hurt. But, I think it’s better than being the other way – too cynical about life. Day-to-day it’s hard enough to get by, especially at work, to worry about everyone else’s agendas. People that suck are gonna suck, I just try not to let it affect my well-being. It gives those people too much power and that’s what they crave.
I probably won’t see the movie, so thanks for the synopsis. I don’t like movies that make me feel uncomfortable or sorry for people. There is too much of that in real life to watch it on the screen. “That’s too bad” really is a sad line. I have a hard time processing my sadness for the elderly that struggle with reality and gullibility. I don’t think I could handle the movie.
I agree – I think it’s better to mostly try to see the good, too. Otherwise life would be… not so fun!
And I do wonder about the miserable life sucking people that you mentioned… do they just want everyone else to be as miserable as them? Are they unhappy others have joy? Eh. Whatevs, suckas!!!! 😛
Yeah, you definitely won’t like this movie, then. I recommend Philomena if you want to watch an Oscar nominated family-focused movie that has a mostly good feel. Her character is so nice and forgiving. Gives me hope. LOL.
There’s a Law & Order SVU episode about a little girl with Williams Syndrome, and she’s the only witness to her mother’s murder. In the episode, they don’t know if she’s a good witness or if she’s only saying what she thinks they want to hear. It was good! I love that freaking show. haha
I’ve seen previews for that movie, and my sister keeps telling me to watch it, but it just doesn’t sound like anything I give a shit about seeing.
How interesting! So, what happens in the show?! TEll me!
Don’t watch it. It’s a waste of time 😉
I agree, trust is very situational and one learns fairly quickly, especially in the workplace, who is trustworthy and who leans to the opportunistic side. That movie sounds like it has some pretty heavy undertones.
It did! I heard the same thing about August: Osage County or whatever that one is called and don’t plan on seeing it 😉
I have very serious trust issues, as in I have been burned so many times, I can’t trust many. Sad…trust me
LOL, are you being ironic by telling me to trust you?
LOL good point..I wasn’t even trying to be
I’d never heard of Williams Syndrome. Interesting!
I tend to think that people generally want to do the right thing so I tend to trust that they’ll do what they say they’re going to do. And then I get annoyed when they don’t! Not sure I’ll ever learn 🙂
You’ve probably at least learned that certain people will or will not do what they say 😉 I probably told you, but I read a book about the workplace (and wrote about it here) and one of the top things it recommended doing was… DOING WHAT YOU SAY YOU WILL. LOL. Why is this so hard?!
20/20 did a segment on Williams Syndrome a few years ago. You might be interested In the segment:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/friendly-extreme-meet-kids-adults-williams-syndrome/story?id=13795416
Wow! That was really interesting! Did you watch it? I thought their conclusion was interesting – that they think it’s a blessing and that it would be great if more people had these characteristics (I think I tend to agree?). But it’s scary what they were saying (for kids, especially) – that if someone smiles at you, they are your friend. In the article I linked to, they were talking about how they were trying to teach kids not to trust strangers, and I can see where there would be some real internal struggle.
Interesting about the hearing and dancing too. Thanks for the share!
(Totes annoyed at the commercial it showed before playing – one of those ones that portrays a father as being incompetent when the mom is out of town. In this one, she video chatted them and everything looked fine, but then it scrolled out from what she could see and the entire kitchen was covered in food/paint/mud/whatever. Those commercials make me and Steven bonkers. Especially the ones that imply men can’t cook, since it’s the opposite in our house).
I’ve never hard of Williams Syndrome!
I try to see the good in people and trust them. That is until they do something that makes me NOT want to trust them again.