Too much to ask
On Saturday, we stopped at the Village Inn with our friends to have a hearty meal before our day of skiing. I knew I wanted a skillet. When made properly, it’s a cast iron skillet full of diced potatoes and vegetables, and topped with eggs and melted cheese – like the one in the photo but without meat. It arrives at your table hot. Delicious.
I opened up the menu, and saw that every skillet had meat in it. I chose the one closest to what I wanted, “The Original Ultimate Skillet Meal,” and asked the waiter to make it without the meat (ham, bacon AND sausage) and without mushrooms. Steven decided he wanted the exact same thing, but without onions as well (he was getting over a very bad stomach virus, and the last thing he needed was onions in his food).
The waiter wasn’t too happy with us. Let me preface this by saying that when we greeted him and asked how he was, he said “we’re really busy.” Okay. So we made our decisions quickly and said please and thank you.
The waiter gave us a really dirty look when we asked for modifications to the menu. Then he told us that they “really can’t change orders like that” and “there are lots of other options – you need to look over the entire menu and see if there is something else you want.”
Um… what?
He told us that, then quickly took our friends orders, all of our menus, and left.
I sat there wondering how I was supposed to look for something different to eat without a menu. I wondered if he was going to come back and tell me I had to choose something else to eat. I also wondered if I should be ashamed or pissed off. I was definitely a little bit of both.
I am WELL AWARE of how much I inconvenience EVERYONE by being a vegetarian. I feel awful when someone invites me over for dinner and I feel like I have to warn them that I am a vegetarian. I hate it that we couldn’t have Caesar salad in Denver because the dressing had anchovies in it and I didn’t want to eat it. I feel horrible when we have to make sure the restaurant has something that Steven and I can eat before we all go there.
I hate that some people who eat meat automatically assume that I think I am better than them. I don’t. Honestly – I don’t give a shit what you eat.
But apparently, some people do care what I eat. And not in a considerate way. And I’m not just talking about the waiter.
I’m not going to change. This is who I am. I shouldn’t have to feel ashamed to make requests, especially at a “restaurant.”
But I did feel ashamed. Ashamed, uneasy and embarrassed, sitting there with our friends. Of course, if it would have been just me and Steven, I would probably have talked to a manager or left. Instead, we sat there worrying about how our meal was going to come out.
We got what we ordered. It didn’t taste that good, and I had lost my appetite.
The waiter came back with the check and tried to redeem himself by saying the people in the kitchen don’t speak English that well. If that was his excuse, why didn’t he just say that in the beginning?
I don’t know why I am still thinking about this on Thursday. Probably because I am still embarrassed about the whole thing. I feel like it was unnecessary for the waiter to act that way… but it still makes ME feel bad. It makes me feel bad for asking for something to be modified.
Maybe I am asking too much. Or maybe I should just stay out of Village Inn and all the other restaurants that give me grief.
Themocracy
That is NOT asking too much. You’re a vegetarian, not a murderer. That waiter, no matter how busy, should not be giving you attitude. That’s their job to deal with busy times and help the customer have a great experience. He sounds like a real tool.
There’s no reason to be embarrassed and there’s no reason you can’t have it custom made. Unless their omelets are precooked and they slap in a microwave and reheat, then there’s no reason they can just eliminate the addition of a few recipe items. They do not have all that crap stored in cups to be poured on a cook surface as it would make the meat go bad to be sitting in raw egg uncooked for an extended period of time. If anything, it saves the cooks time because they don’t have to reach over and grab those things.
The waiter was lazy and didn’t want to write and explain it. The chefs would get it. Maybe their English isn’t great, but they know their food and the words to say them. I hope your tip reflected his piss-poor attitude.
I agree with Kapgar. I hope you gave the guy a lousy tip.
Even as a non-vegetarian, I feel self conscious when I ask for special requests–omelettes with egg whites, no cheese, etc etc. But a) I am the customer and b) restaurants need to start offering more healthy choices, dammit. I try to tip well for good service so in the end I don’t feel like such a p.i.t.a.
I hope you didn’t leave a tip at all. There is no reason to accept crappy service. Ever. I reckon if we all spoke up maybe it would get better.
We have Village Inn’s here in Utah and they are great. Those skillets are awesome.
But it sounds like your waiter and the service there wasn’t good. That’s too bad, since eating establishments need to bend over backwards to accommodate their customers tastes. While I know making vegetarian meals may be a bit of a hassle for some of these places, it really isn’t if they put customer service first.
Never give in and don’t compromise your demands.
I don’t think that you should feel ashamed or embarrassed for asking something to be made the way you want. How hard is it to say”NO MEAT” to the kitchen staff? AND, IF they don’t speak English that well, maybe someone should be interpreting for them. It really torks me that language is used as an excuse. Hello? English is our primary language. However, what really pisses me off is the fact that the waiter had “attitude”, when you are the customer. He absolutely did not deserve a tip and should have apologized for his behavior. I’m sure there are countless others that don’t eat meat or dairy or fat and would request that it not be part of their meal. Does this mean it is OK for him to treat anyone asking for something to be added/left out of their meal as badly as he did you? Absolutely, NOT!!
You should never have to feel bad about being vegetarian. This waiter was just plain RUDE. Unfortunately, there are more out there just like him. Who have somehow decided that they are allowed to treat PAYING customers badly. He is there to serve the public, without predjudice, without attitude,without trying to make excuses for his rude behavior. Vegetarian choices should be easy to provide, afterall most restaurants offer lowfat food choices. How hard would it be to offer vegetarian also?
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEEL ASHAMED ABOUT. My 12 year old daughter has been a little veg-head for a few years. I EXPECT restaurants to accommodate her. When we go to McDonalds, she gets a cheese burger MINUS the meat w/ extra pickles and ketchup- And, I’d be pissed as hell if someone ever gave me attitude about it. She is an animal lover/activist and the thought of eating meat could make my girl sick- she has every right to have a meatless dish. You are saving the restaurant money too btw! All those meats are expensive… you are still paying the same amount, you just don’t want it in your skillet. You’re lucky I wasn’t there with you, I would have made a scene in your defense! I also would have been pissed at his excuse that their staff doesn’t speak English? Um, hello- we’re in America! Not to mention, there are people of all races and ethnicities that are vegetarians, it’s not like you are from another planet. GAH, I’m sorry this happened. I love that you write, you don’t do this to act superior to other people, that you don’t give a shit what people eat. It’s just a choice you’ve made for yourself. That’s completely understandable to me. If someone else doesn’t get that, it’s their problem. You and Steven rock on, ya little veg heads!
Unless the menu states ‘no substitutions’, there should be no reason your requests could not be accommodated. As Kevin said, it’s not like everything’s pre-made. Many people have foods that they don’t (or can’t) eat. Having been on both sides of the table, it sounds like your waiter just didn’t want to be bothered. I agree with the others who said that your tip should reflect the quality of the service (or lack thereof). When I make special requests that are handled well and cheerfully, I’m much more inclined to tip extra. When waiting on others, I do my best to see that their requests are met, and if it is not possible, to help them choose something that will fit their needs. No need for you to feel shame, it’s all on him.
You should not be embarrassed…the waiter should be! A lot of people don’t eat meat and I don’t think it should incovience them too much to make something minus a few ingredients! I have some vegetarian friends (it sounds sort of funny to label my friends that way!) and when they come over it isn’t a big deal. I still make whatever I was going to make and then make sure I have a few sides that are meatless. They don’t make a big deal, I don’t make a big deal because it IS NOT a big deal. Maybe I am more tolerant/accepting of the different ways/things people eat because I grew up in a house with very picky eaters and it was always “a thing” when we went anywhere so maybe I am more sensitive to NOT making it a thing for other people? I don’t know, but I do know that especially at a restaraunt where you are paying for your food, you should definitely get things the way you would like them! If/WHEN you guys come over her for dinner it will be no big deal at all, I promise!
P.S. my 8 year old son orders his pizza with no cheese and they always ask him about a million times if he is sure. Yes, he’s sure! Just do what he says! (so food issues are something I deal with a lot and I am sure that is why I don’t care at all what/if people eat)
It is upsetting that they could not accomodate you. Especially in a city like denver. There are so many people who are veggies and have food issues so it should not be a shock to resturants that you had a change. Plus the fact that they did not have a veggie skillet is a bit strange.
I am sorry that that happened but it is not something to be ashamed off!
oh hell to the no!!!! your post just pissed me off- not you though- the waiter and his attitude!!!! there are just so many things wrong with that whole scenario!!! you have no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed of anything- you know what you like and don’t let ANYONE make you feel bad for your choices and beliefs!!! everyone likes different things and if the restaurant and/or staff can’t or won’t accomodate changes- unless like odie says it specifically says no substitutions- then maybe they should really re-think what they are doing… that is their job, you are the customer, that’s what you are paying them for!!! to me that would be like you telling one of your clients, sorry, i’m really busy, but, i will do you the favor of drawing this up for you (i have no clue how to say that- sorry!!) AND you will accept it as i draw it up with no changes… i think that would go over like a lead balloon!!!
=^..^=
isn’t it weird how somehow YOU feel bad in this situation? i feel TERRIBLE if i ever send food back because it’s wrong / terrible / undercooked / whatever – i mean, i’m PAYING for it, it should be how i want it! but i still feel like i’m being an inconsiderate asshole. ah, the guilt complex 🙂
sorry your waiter was a tool. what an assinine and condescending thing to say – “you should really read the whole menu”??? EGADS.
Whoa, that guy is lucky I wasn’t sitting at that table, I would’ve flipped and then he would have got one hell of a crappy tip. You’re absolutely right, the waiter should have said, “I’ll do my best but the cooks. . .”
One, it’s not that hard to tell the non english speaking cook “NO CARNE, PORFAVOR” or in whatever language the cook spoke.
Two, you should never feel ashamed or embarrassed to alter what is on the menu. Sometimes I’m not in the mood for meat so I have asked plenty of times for no meat. I don’t think it’s a far fetched request especially if they didn’t offer an option for people not wanting meat.
I have plenty of veggie friends and it really doesn’t faze me at all. I would never want my dinner guest/companions to feel awkard or put out over something such as not wanting meat. It’s such a reasonable request and a request that can easily be accomondated.
I AM SO PISSED FOR YOU!
okay, why did you and your friends stay? after that BS I should have left. if I heard them talk that way to my friends I would have left, forget the manager just leave.
I’m pissed now too!
I was going to say that I could understand them not wanting to make changes to a standard menu system if it were a place like McDonald’s or Burger King, but hey, even THEY will do it your way! That waiter should be ashamed of HIMself, you shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself. That is ridiculous. You don’t go out to a restaurant where you are supposed to be waited on, to be treated as if you are inconveniencing people for doing their jobs. That place deserves a nasty letter and a suggestion that they offer more vegetarian offerings. Hello?!! There are tons of vegetarians and vegans out there. And not only that – sometimes meat eaters like an occasional veggie meal as well! Grrr! I’m mad FOR you! 😉
sizzle – Thank you for saying that. Because even as I wrote this, I still felt like maybe I was the one who was out of line.
kapgar – When we were there I mentioned that to Steven – “It’s not like the skillets are pre-made!” At a few Chicago pizza places, they WON’T let you take things off the pizza because they are pre-made.
diane – I am not sure what tip Steven gave him. I’ll have to ask. I am happy to hear that people are making “non-meat” special requests too 😉
Nat – You’re right. I should have said something to the manager. I wanted to when I left, but didn’t want to make too big of a deal of it. Dammit.
martymankins – If you say they’re good, maybe I should give them another chance sometime. I usually love those diner-like places!
Denise – Since when is the waiter allowed to be rude? That is what I want to do. It IS the service industry after all. And if English is the problem, hablo espanol, so maybe I should just go back there and tell them what I want in my frickin’ skillet.
JavaQueen – I wish you would have been there! You are the most awesome life cheerleader! 😀 I was thinking that – I am taking ALL of that meat off (pork, bacon and sausage?!) and they have the nerve to act like it is a big deal? I hope your daughter has your attitude and sticks up for herself 🙂
Odie – I don’t think the menu said anything like that. And really, there were empty seats at the restaurant, so I don’t know why he was so stressed. We usually leave a very generous tip, especially if they are accommodating. I understand how hard working in food service can be – I worked at McDonald’s for 4 years! But I always kept my attitude in check, unless the customer was the one bringing it, unnecessarily.
tori – I knew you would be understanding – just because that is the type of person you are. And it shouldn’t be a big deal – there are tons of food allergies that have to be accommodated as well – would he have responded like that to one of those requests?!
Christina – The funny thing is, this was right after we had a conversation about how cool and laid-back the Colorado people are. And aren’t there a bunch of earthy/healthy/hippie type people out there anyway? I was really surprised.
CourtneyInControl – Ha! I like your architecture example. It IS like that though. A customer is a customer, no MATTER the service! They all deserve respect. And jeez, just act like you care if you really don’t!
Alice – It is weird, but completely understandable, that some of us just feel guilty for making other people go out of their way. But jeez, we are already paying for the over-priced crappy food anyway! We should get what we want!!!
Gina (Mannyed) – Thanks. I love your comment 🙂 Sorry I made you angry too! Ha. I don’t think I am going to let this happen again. I think this situation was presented to me so that I can learn from it. Learn not to be walked over and ask for what I want and get it without feeling bad. The feeling bad part may be the hard part.
DeAnne – I would have left if he would have brought out the dish with meat, or told me to get something else. But that is where our friends wanted to eat. There weren’t many other options 😉
teeni – I was thinking about this the other day, and I thought of the Burger King “Have it your way” song. And I was like, “WTF?! Even BURGER KING will make it MY WAY?” Arg! I hate that, and I’ve run into it SO MANY TIMES – people acting like you are inconveniencing them by making them work. You know, maybe another waiter would have been nicer.
I have to disagree with everyone who suggested the waiter receive a lousy tip. I hope you didn’t tip him at all, because otherwise his rude disservice isn’t discouraged.
If he and his restaurant are too busy to serve you properly, then they’re also too busy to count your money. He did seemingly nothing to earn your money – and gave you rude service in an attempt to lose whatever you might’ve considered giving him (e.g. for water service).
Tips are a customary pay for performance, not charity… The customer isn’t always right, but vegetarianism is not a particularly unusual habit (and certainly not one you should be embarrassed about!). If they are socially-aware enough of this fact and care about customer service — and if nothing else, if they care about making money during the hardest recession since the Great Depression — then they should *try harder* to serve you.
If they didn’t, hopefully another, more-deserving restaurant did…
(That leads me into meandering about the weak (or non-existent) incentives for low-level employees, like wait staff, to care about customer service, profitability, etc., as compared with management. But that’s a whole separate diatribe…)