Left out

By , January 7, 2008 5:50 am

Whenever I visit my family in Iowa, I feel so out of the loop of what is going on with everyone.

My younger brother quit his job a few months ago and is working at a completely different place. Didn’t know that.

My sister had a car accident (not a serious one) in December. Didn’t know that.

My parents bought a “new-for-them” van. Didn’t know that.

That is the bad part about living so far away from your family – you can never really be completely “in-the-know” with their lives.

Now that my sister is in college, and I feel like we can finally relate to each other, I would like to spend more time with her. But she’s busy, I’m busy, we live so far away, I hate to talk on the phone… most of our communication is emails and facebook now.

I feel like a broken record. I know I have mentioned this before. But I think this is an unsolvable problem for me. I like working in Chicago, and my family happens to live in Iowa. Until the day that Chicago’s suburbs begin to sprawl into Iowa, and I can take a rapid transit train to see them, I will have to deal with it.

14 Responses to “Left out”

  1. kapgar says:

    My mom would tell me to pick up the phone and that I obviously don’t do it enough. But I won’t say that to you. πŸ˜‰

  2. Kyra says:

    We’re out in vermont, everyone else is in Colorado and Arizona. I know how you feel. πŸ™ But you know, some of those things are big things that you would think they would tell you (like the car accident.) My husband’s family purposely doesn’t tell him things like that because it makes THEM feel better to take a shot at him on that level. I’m not saying that is what your family is doing, but maybe you should tell them you would like to be more in the loop about things?

  3. Dad says:

    Some clarification- Didn’t buy the van, it was given to us, probably because it had/has some issues that would have made it more work than it was worth to sell. I would never buy one of those things.
    Your sister’s accident- she slide into (over?) a stop sign, only damage was a cracked windshield.
    Your brother’s job- I didn’t know about it until I asked why he was getting mail from his new employer.

  4. Jenniy says:

    Well, obviously your family needs to be like my in laws – call each other ten times a day. I am exagerating only slightly. Although, now that I think about it, one of Scott’s cousins does call my MIL about that many times a day. And it’s not unusual to look at our caller ID and see that my MIL has called our house a few times that day.

    While the in laws were in CA over the holidays our phone was oddly silent. I finally asked Scott if he had talked to his parents and he said no, but acted like that was a really, really weird question. As soon as they got back into town she called three times in ten minutes. I didn’t say anything, but I wanted to hit him on the head and say “THAT is why I asked if you had talked to her.”

  5. diane says:

    Good grief, if I don’t call my parents every couple days they worry I am dead!! I suppose that is the joy of being an only child… πŸ˜‰

  6. laughing at what Diane said, I so know what she means.

    Sounds like your family needs a blog! All Kilax goings on should be posted for you and Steven to read. :o)

    And don’t fret about only keeping in touch with your sister via Facebook and emails. I keep in touch with my cousins (21, 18, and 13) through Facebook and text messages and I think it works well.

  7. kilax says:

    kapgar – I try to call my mom almost every day. Often she doesn’t answer πŸ™ She’s so busy!

    Kyra – I know they are not doing it on purpose… but I also know that a joint effort would be required from all of us to make it work… and that won’t happen.

    Dad – Thanks for the clarification πŸ˜‰ I am not surprised you didn’t know about Anthony’s job either… I feel like I never know what is going on with him.

    Jenniy – ha ha. That might annoy me too much!

    diane – They know I am alive because they see I update my blog each day πŸ˜‰

    Gina (Mannyed) – That is a good point – more blogs, ha ha! When Andrew started his blog I felt like I started to know him a lot better.

  8. I just realized I wrote Kilax instead of Ilax…oops – but you knew what I meant.

  9. ajooja says:

    I’m having a difficult time even commenting knowing your dad reads your blog. πŸ˜€

    I don’t see my mom nearly enough and she lives about six blocks away. She talks non-stop about my neice’s boyfriend and what everyone ate the last five or six meals, so it’s difficult to make that call.

    I basically just hold the phone to my ear and say, “Uh huh,” about every couple of minutes. πŸ™‚

  10. Hilly says:

    I know how you feel. MY family and best friend live in the same town, only 386 miles away, I talk to them all of the time and I STILL feel like I am on the ass-end of their stories sometimes.

  11. E says:

    After reading your post, and given that I also have family in Iowa and have had a similar experience, I began wondering if the state is a black hole of family information — news swirls in, but it never leaves. πŸ˜›

  12. kilax says:

    Gina (Mannyed) – I get you πŸ˜‰

    ajooja – ha ha. Sometimes I forget a lot of my family reads what I write here. I should be more careful. Your mom sounds… chatty πŸ˜‰

    Hilly – Exactly. Even though you have a general idea of what is going on, you’re NOT there, so it makes no difference πŸ™

    E – perfect description – “news swirls in, but it never leaves.” Or maybe “people get stuck there and never leave.” HA HA. Just kidding. I know Iowa has one of the highest “move-out” rates, or whatever it is called!

  13. Christina says:

    That is just our family dear. My accident was really nothing. No police, no fines :D! Just crappy weather, crappy roads and a silly stop sign that got in my way!! It really was not a big deal at all! Sorry you thought you were out of the loop, but I doubt anyone knew but mom and dad. And I hate talking on the phone too, hopefully some day I have enough money to visit you whenever I can!

  14. kilax says:

    Christina – I know that is the way it is – no one knows what is going on with anyone! When I talk to mom I ask her what is new with everyone and she never knows… oh well. Don’t worry about visiting me πŸ˜‰ I know it’s a pain to drive out here!

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