Do you hate it when people talk about exercise?
Last week I went to a coworker A’s* desk for some training. When I got there, she was in the middle of a conversation with coworker B. I think they were complaining about their family and the holidays. I felt kind of weird interrupting their personal conversation, so when they were done talking, I asked coworker B where she is from, kind of trying to break the awkwardness.
“Champaign,” she answered.
“Oh,” I said, “I’ve never been there! How far away is it? There is a half marathon there in April and I was thinking about training for it.”
“It’s only two and a half hours away! This is the inaugural race – I was thinking about training for it too – how far away do you live?”
That’s when I broke it to her that I live in the boondocks and we wouldn’t be able to train together. But we did go on to discuss the gym in the building, and talk about our exercise routines for a bit.
I tried to keep the conversation short though. The day before, I had told coworker A about a 5K, and she said “You’re a runner? I couldn’t even jog a minute!”
I tried to encourage her and said, “That is how I started off!” but I stopped and left it at that. In my experience, people don’t want to talk to you about running or exercise, or whatever fitness thing you are into, unless they are into it as well (this generalization does not apply to all of you wonderful readers though – you’ve given me tons of support, no matter what your routine is – and I thank you!). That is why I cut the other conversation short as well. I don’t want to get on people’s nerves, talking about exercise.
I hate that I feel like that though. I want to talk about what interests me, and I want other people to care. Is that too much to ask for? I feel like it is, when it comes to exercise and running. There are only a few people I feel really listen to me (and again, I am not talking about the blogosphere). It just hurts… to be so passionate about something, but mention it and get… nothing.
I consciously try to listen and ask questions when other people are talking about their interests. I really enjoy learning about what other people are interested in. Maybe some people just don’t.
Please tell me – do you hate it when people talk about exercise? Do you feel like they are bragging? Do you get bored? Does it make you feel guilty? What is it? What is too much?
Steven and I often talk about how no one (again, in the REAL world) seems to care much about our running. I don’t expect people to remember when we are running or be enthused, I just want people to act like they care when we talk about it. Or maybe ask, “How did the race go?” “How is your training going?” “Do you run in this cold weather?”
Maybe I am too selfish.
*Sorry for the confusing… titles. I just wanted to keep them straight. It isn’t really important who the conversation was with, just that they were coworkers.
Themocracy
I don’t get bored when people talk about running…but that is because I run! I do try to make an effort to listen when people talk about hobbies I don’t do or know nothing about. I think it’s pretty interesting to learn new things and find out about hobbies I might not have even thought of! But I think that is something a lot of the blog world has in common…we genunely care about each others interests no matter if we are interested in the actual hobby or not.
I think you are right though, that a lot of people don’t care and get irritated about listening to people talk about running. A friend of mine and I were talking about running in front of her husband (now he’s her ex actually) and he rolled his eyes and said something about us thinking we were better than other people because we could run. We were both surprised because that wasn’t what we were doing at all! We were just talking about something we were both interested in.
I do have to say that in my neighborhood, when I first decided to do a triathlon, everyone thought I was crazy. Then when I did it and was so excited about it, a few people asked me more about it. After we talked, I encouraged them to try it and now there are tons of women in my neighborhood who do them. I was actually sort of freaked out about being the center of attention when I talked about it and the fact that other people tried it and now have a hobby they love because of me is insane. So maybe your excitement will spark someone elses interest in trying it?
I don’t mind if people talk about it. Like anything, I just reach a point where if they are blabbing on and on about something, I get bored. Computers, kids, exercise, whatever- if someone insists on going on and on about one topic I want the conversation to stop. It doesn’t sound like you would do that though!
I’ve told you before that my office mate is a tri-athlete . We discuss her races pretty often. I don’t mind hearing about it. I’m proud that she can do all this and she always is supportive of when I do yoga or when I’m eating healthy. Plus, when I was into my gym spurt, she gave me good tips. I guess I would get a lil bored if that was all we talked about. But that goes for talking about any topic.
i understand what you’re saying about people not really seeming all the interested in stuff… and i don’t think it’s just exercise… i think it’s people being selfish… almost like they have the mindset, i’m not into that and i have absolutely no desire to learn anything about it (or anything new so i’m just going to stay close-minded)!
like you, i really try to listen and learn about what other people like… i have to say, i’ve learned (and wound up liking) a lot of things because someone was talking about something and i was interested… (and it hurts my feelings when i come across someone who doesn’t seem to pay me the same respect).
=^..^=
No that doesn’t bother me. No more than if my friend who plays guitar talks about the guitar-playing or my friend who paints talks about painting. It’s what you do, what interests you, your hobby. I think some people feel insecure amongst runner and project that. But it’s just like asking anyone about how their hobby is going. I personally can’t run because when I tried I screwed up my knee. But I liek to support my friends and coworkers and hear about what they’re doing.
I wonder if talking about your “hobby” may cause some feelings of guilt for not exercising in others and that’s why they don’t seem as interested? Just a thought…
I think people who truly care about you should have at least a passing interest in what interests you. I mean, if it makes you happy then I am happy for you. I’m not into running at all. I don’t enjoy it myself. But I’ve never been bored reading one of your posts about it. I like seeing things through your eyes when you write about it. I suppose if it were all you talked about then I might lose some interest, but that hasn’t happened. On the other hand, I think that a lot of people don’t make a conscious effort like you mentioned you do when you are interested in other people’s interests. Social skills are severely retarded and lacking these days. I think I’m pretty good about it online but from now on I am taking your initiative to be more interested in real life conversations with other people and their interests.
I think the fitness/health stuff is threatening to a lot of people too. Worse, sometimes people can’t tell if you’re just chatting or making a “suggestion” to them (as in “get off your butt!”) even if you aren’t. They bring it up, or latch onto something I might say in passing I’ll discuss it. But otherwise it’s not something I talk about, but I do not go out of my way not to mention it. If someone would say “I’m going to stop by the store after work” I have no problem saying “I’m going for a run later.”
Personally, I like it when people talk about exercise. Because (a) I’m into it and (b) if I haven’t done it for a while, it serves as a reminder to get my ass to the gym!
Also, might I warn you against participating in any inaugural races, especially if it’s your first race at that distance. There are always kinks to be worked out in inaugural races. I’ve heard HORRIBLE stories. Mis-marked routes. No water. Wrong times. Etc. If you think running the race is going to be challenge enough, you might want to reconsider running a more established race. =)
It depends on who it is. If it’s you, then talk away. If it’s me telling the rest of the blogging world, then it’s all good.
Seriously, it depends on how condescending they are being. If they are snooty and all demeaning about it to others, then I want them to shut the hell up. Otherwise, if they are sharing with others and looking for some others to share their workout regimen with, then I think it’s acceptable.
I like hearing about people’s running as long as they aren’t trying to push something on to someone else. Some runners can be very aggressive and think the whole world should be out there running. You are defintely not that way though. Your stories and progress are motivating and inspire me to get my big ole butt to the gym!
I am in AWE of anyone that chooses to run. I also like to hear about your training and your races. What you write after a race is interesting and entertaining. I don’t perceive you as “bragging” or trying to push it on others. I do agree with your Dad
about the guilt thing in some people. Keep writing about it! I may not always have a comment but I do enjoy reading about it.
I think a lot of the comments that have mentioned conversation about exercise causing people to feel guilty are right on target. I have learned over time who I can and cannot talk about exercise with, and even that has changed now and then.
But I also find a lot of people are good at hearing but not listening. They hear what you say but are too wrapped up in their own little world to care enough to really listen. It makes me sad, but there are still good listeners out there–you just have to seek them out specifically. 🙂
tori – Wow. Why didn’t I think of that? DUH! It IS obviously a blogging thing! Bloggers are naturally inclined to care. That is why I kept saying how I DON’T mean bloggers, because I have had nothing but support here. I am worried that a lot of people think like your friend’s ex – that runners think they are better than everyone. We don’t. We want everyone to join us! I am not pushy about it, but I think almost anyone could do it!
sizzle – OH YEAH, me too. Too much talk about ANYTHING makes me want to gouge my eyes out. I do try consciously not to do that in PUBLIC. Poor Steven though – he gets the same thing over and over and over…
Gina (Mannyed) – I wish I was your office mate! Because you’re cool and considerate 🙂
CourtneyInControl – It just makes me REALLY REALLY sad that so many people in my life show NO INTEREST in me. I ask them about their interests. I listen. I ask questions. Why don’t they do the same? 🙁
Cheryl – It IS JUST like any other hobby! I hope I don’t make it sound like anything more than that. That’s cool that you are so open to it, after your knee got all screwy.
dad – Bingo. That is a suspicion of mine. That’s not my fault though, goddammit!
teeni – Socially retarded. Heh. EXACTLY. Where are people’s social skills? And I try to be interested, but I know I can try even harder. Starting a new job has reminded me of that. I am just having so much fun learning about people though. That is an interest of mine in its own!
Kyra – Oh my gosh. I wonder if anyone has ever thought I am making a “suggestion!” I am not qualified for that, that’s for sure! I wish it wasn’t threatening, but I can understand that. I can. Awhile ago I wouldn’t read a health magazine because I felt threatened by it.
Nilsa – I like when people talk about it and I learn about new types of exercise or workout classes! I think we are going to pass on that race because it is too soon – but I am happy you brought it up. I didn’t even think of that, and if it would have been like that, I would have been… upset!
martymankins – I do love reading your posts. Is it time for one soon? I haven’t had a snooty experience yet… but I suppose I can picture that 😉
Emma – I like to tell people that they could run if they want to, but I am not the type to push people to do something they don’t want to do, because I hate it when they do that to me! I am happy I can motivate you a bit!
Denise – Thank you 🙂 I am happy that people still like to read it, even though it is kind of the same thing over and over. I try to vary it a bit! Thanks for reading (here and email! HEH!)
diane – I’ve been really interested in hearing your stories, since you have been an avid exerciser for so long now! It’s cool that some of your … acquaintances came around in the long run. I hate that people PRETEND to listen. That is bullshit. Although, if I recall, a certain someone (ME) kept interrupting a certain someone’s (YOUR) bf yesterday, oops.
Well, you know me, I love fitness and exercise! So I enjoy talking about it with others, because I always learn new things. I love learning new tips, or training techniques. I have a lot of runner friends, so I find I talk about it a lot.
I like what “dad” said, maybe it makes others feel a little guilty because they are not doing too well with their exercises? It wouldn’t bother me. I’d actually like the encouragement….
marissa – I did love your post about your love of exercise! It made me feel good 🙂
jQ – I wish more people were like you then – not bothered by it 🙂
I generally don’t mind talking about exercise with people, though it depends on how they communicate… As long as they aren’t clearly trying to brag about their accomplishments at the expense of others, it’s another topic I can talk about with people. 🙂
(Also, no worries – you didn’t interrupt me last weekend. Or if you did, it wasn’t enough that I remember it, anyway. 😛 )
E – I haven’t run across any braggers yet. But… I can imagine it. Ha! I am happy you don’t remember me interrupting you 😉
I don’t mind talking about exercise with people, even people who are way more into fitness than me. I think of it like talking about crochet, a game you play, or any other hobby you may have (for me TV LOL). It is fascinating to hear about what others do, how they do it, how they got involved, ect.
However, if they start doing the whole you need to do this, this, this, and this because what you are doing isn’t good enough, right, or as good as my workout then I kind of tune out. But I tune out if they start doing that about crochet, a game they play, or any other hobby (unless they are talking TV then I take them down LOL)!!!
Felicia – I get annoyed when someone is really REALLY pushy about trying something too, no matter what it is. I just don’t like people telling me what to do!
What I don’t like is how fitness is pushed on everyone. I can’t turn on my tv, or get on the computer without being bombarded with “healthy” ads. I have to say it gets pretty annoying. There is more to life than looking good. Not to mention that I look good and I don’t exercise. It is fine to do what you enjoy, but don’t lay the guilt of being out of shape and “ugly” on people who think it is a waist of effort to exercise.
Gerett – That makes me crazy too – especially at the beginning of the new year when all the fitness and diet fad ads start up. (Was “waist of effort” a pun? :P)