Does social media make us lazy in relationships?
When I started my blog in 2005 the purpose of it was to keep in touch with family while traveling abroad. It was before Facebook was prevalent, before everyone had smart phones, and before WIFI was widely available. Skype was kind of new. I still took photos with an actual camera. I didn’t text, I called (whut?!).
Anyway, things have changed. Now we can get in touch with anyone within seconds – IF we have signal, and IF they respond.
So the purpose of my blog is no longer to keep in touch with family. It’s to document what I want to from my life, and sometimes, to meet new people (rarely happens anymore though! blogging is dying!).
I’m writing all this because sometimes people say to me “Sorry I haven’t been reading your blog” as a reason why they don’t know about something about my life, OR, just because they actually feel sorry, and like I expect them to.
NO – do NOT be sorry. If you know me, if you are a family member or friend, and we are in touch with each other outside my blog, I do NOT expect you to read my blog to stay “caught up” on my life (I don’t expect anyone to). I’d really LOVE IT if you’d ask me questions about my life. I write all of this for me. And while I LOVE when people read and respond, I do NOT expect them to AT ALL.
PLEASE. TALK TO ME. I spend a lot of time alone. I crave someone asking me a specific question about my life. I crave someone reaching out and just asking me how I am doing. I crave purposeful interaction!
And I do have it! I do! What I am saying though, is, you don’t have to read my blog, or follow any of my social media, as a primer for talking to me! You don’t have to be sorry for not reading this!!! Really!
Social media* can make us lazy (along with a lot of other things). We see someone’s posts, and we don’t reach out to that person – eh, we got an update on Facebook. Or worse, we see someone’s post, and they are a completely different person online than in-person, and we don’t WANT to reach out to them anymore – the online them ruins the in-person them for us.
That will always blow my mind – having a completely different online persona than in-person. The internet DOES bring out the worst in some people! And then, yes, there are people who only post happy stuff online, so if you don’t reach out to them, you do think things are all hunky dory (usually not the case).
What is the point of all this? Ha. Just a reminder to actually talk to people, to ask how they are doing**. And if you want to be extra, to remember something important to them, or something going on in their life, and ask about that. I guarantee they’ll appreciate it! I do!
You can always ask me about our cats! Ha!
*Not that you need social media to be lazy in relationships. Some people are without it!
**And I am not implying that people need to be asked to share information. Just that it’s NICE to be asked!
Themocracy
Sometimes I feel weird about social media. Like if someone saw my social media stuff do they want to hear about it again in person? I feel like I am repeating myself. Since i don’t blog anymore, I guess social media is all i have. But i really prefer the face to face time with people.
I feel that way too. And just hope people will tell me if they already know part of what I am telling them, from my blog or whatever!
With my running friends, sometimes I’ll preface a story at breakfast with “did you read my blog” because I don’t want to repeat something if they have already heard it, so to speak, but they know I don’t expect them to read it. Of course they do when it’s a race recap and I’ll get comments around the breakfast table like “I made the blog!” which cracks me up.
But yeah, you make some excellent points. With me not working and when Jeff used to travel all the time, I could easily go 48 hours without speaking to anyone. We all text and while that’s a great, instant way to keep in touch, it’s nice to hear a voice and the emotion behind the words, if that makes sense.
Ha! I made the blog! I’m famous! I am glad you have a system that works out with them and that they know reading it is not expected! 🙂
Yeah, that DOES make sense. Do you purposefully schedule things with those interactions in mind?
Sometimes I scheduled things, but with pretty much all of my friends working (I obviously need to get some new slacker friends, LOL), there’s not many opportunities to get together. It’s gotten better now that Jeff doesn’t travel.
I am glad it’s better and hope he is liking his new job!!!
I agree with you – blogging is pretty much dead! I only post about things I’ve done that I want to write about in depth with pictures, and have very few people who still look at it, so it’s mainly for myself now. You are the last blogger standing, Kim!
Ugh, it makes me so sad! I miss reading people’s stories, in this format! (meaning blogging, not the format I use, ha ha)
Thanks for the reminder (especially as someone who apologizes and is catching up RIGHT NOW)! I agree, I like for my blog to be more of a conversation starter with friends, but I appreciate that people use it to keep updated on what’s going in my life if we don’t talk super regularly.
You’re welcome! Don’t apologize! I’d rather we chat! Or use it as a starter, like you said! 🙂