A little bit of self doubt and fear…
… is a good thing… right?!
I’m a confident person. There are only a few things in life that make me feel self doubt:
- Running
- Work (being forced to do things I don’t know how to do, or WANT to know how to do)
- Certain relationships
Don’t worry, we’re only going to talk about running!
Photo from the last race I attempted to run fast at… on April 1, 2017
It blows my mind, that even though I’ve been running for over ten years, I still have feelings of “am I going to finish this run?” before each one. And “is this run going to be hard? AHHHH!” if I am doing speedwork.
It’s only before the run and goes away when I start running. It’s not debilitating. It’s not stress or anxiety, it’s just a feeling (and I don’t get stressed before races, except goal 5Ks). That little bit of self doubt. That little bit of fear. It’s crazy to me! I know I can do it based on past experience, or even my run the day before!
This isn’t something that worries me, it’s just something I wanted to share, because I bet other people can relate. And I do believe that a little bit of that self doubt is not a bad thing. You don’t want to be too cocky. You don’t want to be too sure of yourself.
Kind of related: one of the lessons in a favorite training book of mine (How Bad Do You Want It?) is about “bracing yourself” – always expecting your next race to be your hardest, as opposed to thinking that you’re so well trained it will be an easy effort. Expecting some pain when you’re pushing yourself in competition makes you more mentally prepared to handle it when it comes. Makes sense, right?
Not that I’m really a competitive runner, ha. But I like reading about these things, and imagining if I were!
So, that feeling of “will this run be hard?” needs to be turned in to expecting it to be hard, and being fine with it! (I am talking about speedwork only, ha! I LOVE running easy most of the time!)
Themocracy
I totally get this. I guess it makes me feel better that even you feel this way about your runs, after how long you’ve been running, how much you seem to enjoy it, and how easy it seems to be for you (from my outside perspective at least). My mom was asking me yesterday how far you run if you just go out for a run, so I looked on Garmin and told her you just did 13 miles for fun 🙂
As for #3… I had some of those relationships too, and once I let go of them I felt a lot better and realized just how negative an impact they were having on me. I know that’s not always possible, but sometimes it’s worth thinking about (unless you’re talking about our friendship, in which case there’s no way out ha ha ha).
I am glad it makes you feel better! I do enjoy it, and most of my runs are easy ones (and easy for me). But I still have that feeling – with each one! And I do love doing long distances for fun, ha, especially on nice days like yesterday!
I think that might be the answer for those relationships, too. It just hurts so bad. Don’t worry, it’s not you! Ha!
So you doubt that you can complete the run/workout, but you don’t feel stressed about it? I definitely have this feeling before exercise, but I’m not sure I can differentiate it from anxiety.
What are you fearful of, exactly? Like, the feeling of failing to complete it? Or feeling disappointed in yourself for not finishing it (even though you know you will)?
I am not explaining it well. It’s just like each time I go out I wonder if I can do it! I am not stressed or anxious, the thought is just there. Kind of an unknown – “what is going to happen today?” It doesn’t make me anxious though.
The fear is for the pain of speedwork. The “how bad is this going to hurt?!” I am not fearful of not completing/finishing since I don’t follow much of a training plan except speedwork, and just run whatever I want. Hope that makes sense!
Yes sometimes I get butterflys before i do the first interval of speedwork…i know I can run 400m but still nervous.
Ditto —> “As for #3… I had some of those relationships too, and once I let go of them I felt a lot better and realized just how negative an impact they were having on me.”
Yeah, speedwork is my worst mindf*ck of the week! Once it’s done it’s like this weight is lifted. And I know I can do it. It’s the weirdest things.
I probably need to do that with some relationships. And some, I can’t!
I definitely get nervous before almost every race and was nervous before every long run during marathon training. It’s funny because I initially thought that feeling would go away the longer I ran but I guess it’s just a constant at this point.
I bet it’s a constant for a lot of people! Maybe it’s just nervousness of the unknown!
It’s good to hear that you deal with this kind of stuff; a very timely post for me. That’s why you wrote it, right? 😉
It is, actually. I shared this because I thought other runners could relate 🙂
“as opposed to thinking that you’re so well trained it will be an easy effort.” There are people who feel this way?! What’s that like? Hahaha. I think the ONLY time I ever expect a race to feel at all like an easy effort is if I run a half marathon towards the end of marathon training, because when you’re used to doing 15+ mile runs, 13.1 doesn’t seem so intimidating (and also, if I’m running a half marathon at that point of marathon season, chances are high I’m treating it as an excessively supported long run that someone’s giving me a medal for, not a race). Otherwise, it doesn’t matter if it’s a marathon or a 5K, I always go in with a little bit of fear for sure!
Ha! I was reading in that book about elite athletes who have made that mistake and think they can coast through a race. So it may happen to elites! 😉 Not us mere mortals! It is nice when you are running a shorter distance than the one you are training for and know for sure you can complete it and won’t be racing it!
Yes! This exactly! I’ve done so many half marathons and 8 fulls, and yet now that I’ve signed up for my first post baby half I am doubting my ability to do it so much! I don’t know if I like the idea of trying to expect it to be hard though. I think this would make me doubt myself even more.
Aww man! That’s got to be a mind f*ck for sure! I hope you have a confident training cycle that helps with that feeling. And don’t use the tactic of expecting it to be hard if that will make you doubt yourself!!! How far is your longest run going to be in training? Will going the full distance help with your doubt?
I think my longest will be a 14 miler. I’ll dread it until it is done and then I will feel a lot better about the race. It makes me feel better than you feel this way too though!
I am glad it makes you feel better, cause yep, I’d feel that way too!