Be less available
The other day I was venting to a coworker about someone. “Why do they always contact me to ask for things? I am not even the point of contact for this project!”
“Honestly, Kim?” they replied, “I think it’s because you respond so immediately.”
EEK. G-U-I-L-T-Y!!!
I do respond rapidly. I am always in a hurry to respond to emails. Especially with that person – I just wanted to respond and quit thinking about them bugging me.
I LIVE to see this message. Ha.
But he was right – me doing that was making it worse for me, in the long run.
So, I will be less available.
I need to do this across ALL facets of my life.
I don’t handle having a long to-do list very well. I handle it in the sense that I get stuff done, and don’t procrastinate… but it makes me SO anxious. I am always yearning for a clean slate. I feel like when I get there, I can breathe. I can relax. Everything is done.
But, we all know, everything is NEVER done! That’s impossible.
I need to get comfortable with having things sitting on my to-do list (and emails left unresponded to!). In a sense, buying a house has sorta helped with that. There is so much to do, and no way to do it all at once, so it makes us prioritize and focus on the now – and let the other things be (although, we still keep talking about them…).
And I try to do this at work. I make a list and prioritize and do things in order. BUT I JUST WANT THAT LIST TO BE CLEAR! (then people keep giving me work because I got the other stuff done – slow down, Kim). Sigh. I think the email is a good place to start with this.
Themocracy
I have this problem at work too. I try to do a good job and help people as much as possible. But my boss tells me I need to set more limits and be better about keeping to them. Good luck with the emails! It is a good first step 🙂
That is good that your boss is looking out for you, and not taking advantage of it!
Thanks! I think so, too 🙂
I’m the same way with to do lists. I love the satisfaction of checking things off because I feel like I’ll be closer to…what, exactly? I cling to the false idea that there is freedom at the end of the list. But like you said, there will always be more. I think it’s about wrapping my head around the fact that there will just always be “things to do” in life. It’s part of reality.
I am the opposite with work email – when something comes up that is a pain to deal with I will sometimes procrastinate responding. Even though I know that if I just “rip the band aid off” I’ll ultimately make my life easier by getting it out of the way sooner, there’s still a part of me that clings to yet another false idea that if I just put something off it will magically solve itself. Maybe we should combine and be the perfect worker!
Yes! Closer to having an empty sheet and having to start a new one? It never ends! We’re hopeless 😉
Ha ha! I think we should combine!!! There’s gotta be people out there who are in between our methods 😉
It never ends. And when I realized that, I was finally able to set some boundaries as to when I allowed myself to step away from the computer. I hope you can give yourself the same freedom – it’s a little uncomfortable at first, but really nice when you get used to it.
Thank you for the encouragement – that was what I needed to hear! 🙂 I do want that freedom. I like it when I am in training at work and have a reason NOT to respond right away. And it works then, so it can other times, too! 🙂
This is totally me. Always around and accessible and wanting to get things out of my inbox/off my to-do list right away. In part, I like to respond right away because if I don’t, I may forget to do it (even with the handy little “flag” option) once 10 more equally “urgent” emails inevitably come in. But also, I DO like helping people out, and I like that the people I work with feel like they can rely on me.
Although this tendency, plus the rest of my team not being online as often or as late in the day as me, definitely strained me in my last role. I was the “go-to” person, often by default of simply being around and responding quickly. That’s good to a point, but setting boundaries is definitely helpful too so that you’re not constantly answering questions.
Sigh, and that is the issue – when you become the go to and people do always reach out to you first so you’re a bit more overloaded with work than everyone else!
Do you use your inbox as a to do, like you’re not supposed to (or so they say)? I do… which is why I like a clean inbox – I leave it unread rather than flag! (or star, since we use gmail at work).
So you’re not supposed to use your inbox as a to-do list? Is there another way to use it?? I won’t file an email away until I’ve addressed it, because I know I won’t see that email again if I do LOL. The flag in Outlook has a reminder function too, and I definitely find that helpful because I may forget something. What this all says is that I have too many projects going at any given time, since it’s apparently really easy to distract me from the task at hand.
You know, I read all the articles that say that and never pay attention to what the solution is. Ha. I think they’re the articles saying how you shouldn’t always have email open, etc. That wouldn’t work for me – I am expected to respond to chats quickly. Next time I see it, I will read it and see what it says.
You definitely have too many projects 🙁 Gah, on Monday this week I felt that way and wrote down my to do list in priority order. I used to do that every week and check off things as I went but I had gotten better about remembering without writing it down. Maybe that is what we are supposed to do instead of use email as to do?!
ewww, I have never seen a clean inbox since email was invented lol That is pretty impressive. Work is easy I am trapped there so I just get it done and I am usually stay caught up.
My house and life are a different issue, I am never ever done and there aren’t enough hours or dollars lol I have a list that is scary…
Ha ha, but you seem okay with this scary list?!
no the list overwhelms me, so I just ignore it. lol I need to gut it and start over, I need those property Brothers from HGTV to come over.
I have a similar situation. People always ask me questions when the information was sent via email to ALL teachers. Now, I get it that everyone is busy and doesn’t always have time to check their email but still it bothers me. I mean, I make it a habit to check it throughout the day so that I do not miss anything. Many times I feel like responding “Check your email. That information was sent via email’. But I do not want to be rude about it (and I will say it rude) and plus it will be faster for me to give them the answer. And that is why they always ask me, because I give them an answer. ;-(
Ugh. Do you forward them the original email with the info? Or type it out for them?
That bugs me – when someone asks for something that was sent to them, but they ignored. Once or twice is understandable, but all the time is laziness!
I have the opposite problem at work. I seem to work with a lot of “control freaks” who are unwilling to let someone else take on a project or help them out. I am always putting myself out there, getting stuff done, offering to help them out, but they say no. It’s so weird!
That is frustrating! So you are left with not much to do?
It’s more like I do my part and then I have to wait around forever to see if the next person down the line does anything with it. When, in reality, I could just do the whole thing and get it done faster!
Hmm. I wonder why they want all the parts separated like that. They must think that people are more skilled if they focus on one task, than all?
I wish I knew! It’s really a problem with one specific person who has a LOT of institutional knowledge and basically refuses to share, which means she has a lot of control over things that deal with the software product we sell.
Yes, the curse of being polite and helpful at work. I find myself in that position all the time. But I’d rather be known as helpful and responsive than not. Plus it is actually part of my job.