Don’t preach it!
Awhile ago, a vegetarian asked me “what do you do for cheese?” (I’m vegan and don’t eat cheese.)
I didn’t know what they meant. I tried to ask – “Do you mean cheese substitutes? Or what I eat instead of cheese to get calcium? Or how to make vegan cheese?”
Oh no. They didn’t want to discuss it at all. They just wanted to preach to me about how they stopped eating cheese and how much better they feel and how you don’t need cheese* and so on and so on.
Data says “Don’t even try giving me one of those BS pieces without cheese.”
Um, yes. You are preaching to the choir. I feel great on a vegan diet. You don’t have to convince me… I’ve eaten this way for many years.
But it was ANNOYING. Annoying enough, that I actually said to this person “the vegan diet doesn’t work for everyone – some people, like you and me, feel great on it – but not everyone does.” (I strongly believe that about the vegan diet.)
Dude. SHUT. UP.
Ha ha.
It’s pretty bad when you are preaching to someone who more or less eats the same way as you**, or does anything the same as you, and they want you to shut it.
There is NOT a thin line between being passionate about something, and preaching about it, if you pay attention to your audience. It is not difficult to NOT go too far when you are talking to someone about something you care about. DON’T preach it. Discuss it.
(And in that occasion where someone is telling you something they are passionate about and not preaching it… but you don’t really GAF? Be nice. Ask questions. Don’t judge them because they have different interests than you.)
I don’t have the personality type to push my interests and way of living on other people, but we can all think of people who are like this. And wonder, why do they care so much how I live my life?! It’s not that they care that much – they just want more people to be like them.
Odd. So odd.
And yes, I see the hypocrisy in my preachy post about not preaching!!!!! I guess I do have the personality type to say how I think people should behave! Ha ha!
*You don’t have to comment with how you couldn’t live without cheese – I know many people feel this way, ha ha. It’s never been something I care for, so it’s not a big deal for me.
**I won’t say “believes the same as you” since they said “I am not doing this for the animals,” which is why I do it.
Themocracy
Sadly I know a lot of people who preach. And I think a lot of them know they are preaching and just don’t care.
As for cheese…I can take or leave it. I had to go dairy free / gluten free / soy free for my son when he was tiny and cheese was definitely not what I missed. I read an article once that it’s addictive in its own right because of the fat content and how it relates to the mouthfeel, which was an interesting thought. I get sick now if I eat it, which sucks because suddenly it feels like EVERYTHING has cheese in it!
Yeah, it probably makes a certain type of person feel good to talk AT people for so long. But… I generally don’t like being talked at. I’d like a conversation. So I avoid these people, usually. Ha!
Man. That would be hard. Those items are in EVERYTHING! Cheese totally seems addictive! And I have nothing against people who love it!!! 🙂 It just not for me. And apparently, your body says not for you, either 🙁
That’s so weird that they felt the need to preach at you about cheese when you’re vegan. Did they know you were vegan? I definitely try to avoid preaching. If someone tells me they’re trying to find more meatless recipes or something, I am more than happy to help. But if they don’t bring it up first, I’m not going to mention it.
They did know! Which is why I was all “huh?” They were trying to bait me by asking what I do instead of cheese… just so they could tell me how people don’t need cheese. Eye roll!
I am the same – happy to help but I don’t push it. And I hope they don’t push what they eat on me! To each their own!
I used to wonder the very same thing in exasperation: why do people care so much about how I live my life when it has literally NO effect on them whatsoever? Don’t they realize they’re just wasting their energy?? I assumed all these people just had huge superiority complexes but the more I look at it, the more I see that a lot of them seem to be preemptively defensive. For whatever reason they feel the need to defend their choices when those choices aren’t even under attack – maybe because they’ve gone their whole lives having to explain themselves to critical people, or maybe because their motivations aren’t as pure. Or maybe I should stop playing dimestore psychologist, LOL.
Part of me wishes I had it in me to go vegan. But I have a hard enough time getting my nutrients in on a diet when I can eat anything. Maybe some day!
Nah, I think you are on to something! I bet some of them are feeling superior and some are defensive. And some are a mix of both. Good point! (Maybe they got to the point of feeling like they have to defend themselves because they were so preachy and under attack all the time, ha)
Let me know if you try vegan and if it works for you! I have had bloodwork done to see if I am getting what I need (nutrient-wise) and I don’t plan my meals out too much 😉 But! Like I said in the post, it doesn’t work for everyone!
I guess I don’t really care all that much about how other people eat. I mean, I hope that the people I care about are eating healthy enough that they’ll be around for a long time (like my parents… sigh…) but beyond that, who GAF??? You’re the first vegan I’ve known, which really just makes me interested to try out new vegan recipes when we hang out 🙂
I know you were telling me about someone who was preachy about running a certain pace, or having a certain job, etc. during Frosty, and what it comes down to is that people who get that way are unhappy about SOMETHING in their life, so bitching about other peoples’ choices apparently makes them feel better.
Yeah, exactly, beyond being healthy and taking care of yourself… wtf do people care?! (Ha! Although I do seem to care what others are eating when it’s so smelly it makes me gag).
That is cool I am the first vegan! Thanks for making me vegan food like those HORRIBLE brownies we had such a hard time finishing. HA HA HA. At least they were healthy since they were vegan.
That is probably it. And often it, right, when someone is nasty or attacks YOU? It’s about THEM.
Well yeah, smelly food is a whole other ball game 🙂 When Terry and I used to have lunch dates at the office cafeteria (HOT!), there was always someone microwaving fish. Which made the whole room smell like fish (and any food heated in that microwave afterward). I like fish, but still, eww, don’t want to smell it like that.
Seriously, those brownies were gross. Just like the cupcakes. Thanks for taking those off my hands! I actually like cooking vegan – it’s a fun challenge for me 🙂
Ha ha, yes, fish is a big no no for microwaving… or sometimes eating in public. HA HA HA.
Anytime 😉
Seriously, those brownies were BLECK! Kim forced me to eat one so that she wouldn’t have to try to choke another one down.
I used to bring in seafood to reheat for lunch at my old job when I was pissed at everyone. Too passive aggressive?!?!?
Muah ha ha. I am so mean 😉
Ha ha ha! Nah, I like your style!
That is so strange. Maybe he just had a rant stored up and was looking for a place he felt safe venting? People are so weird.
I have been off dairy for the most part since last August. It’s amazing how passionate people are about cheese! For me, it’s because my dairy intolerance was getting so bad, and I don’t really think we’re supposed to drink cow’s milk for as long as we do. But a lot of my friends have been like, “HOW DO YOU LIVE WITHOUT CHEESE?!?!” Um, when cheese causes you gut-wrenching pain, it’s actually not that hard of a choice to make.
I have yet to find a dairy-free cheese that actually tastes good to me–maybe you can help? I tried the Earth Balance mac & cheese and wanted to cry. I told Paul, “This tastes like plastic and feet!”
That could be it! But the odd thing is, I barely know this person and only ran in to them by chance! Oddball.
I agree with you about drinking cow’s milk for much longer than we should. Our bodies stop producing lactase! Of course your friends are saying that, lol. Sorry it was causing you so much pain.
There are a lot of dairy free cheese and hardly any of them are good. I recently found a Field Roast brand sliced one that tastes good but doesn’t melt (“chao” flavor). Ahh, Mac & Cheese. Unfortunately, Teese was da bomb for vegan Mac & Cheese but they stopped making it. We didn’t care for Daiya. This stuff is good https://www.fakemeats.com/Roads-End-Organics-Vegan-Cheddar-Style-Chreese-Mix-p/eas-6-58334-72257-2.htm, but Teese was the best 🙂
I will say I recently cut out dairy. I was very concerned about the cheese factor in my life…funny enough as much as I thought I needed it….I didn’t miss it. I am just now starting to add it back into my diet to see if my stomach can handle it but may just remove it for good. 🙂 I could see someone wanting specifics…to learn more about the diet lifestyle I guess…but I don’t see why questions that are so vague are important. If it isn’t going to add value to the conversation…its probably not worth much anyway! lol
That’s good you didn’t miss it too much! I hope you can still eat it from time to time without it bugging your stomach, if you want!
I think this person was just trying to bait me, lol!
I think it’s SO interesting how people really think that preaching about food/diet choices is totally fine. It is funny what people say though. I know one vegetarian who said that people’s main counter to her decision to not eat meat was “But don’t you miss bacon?”. As much as I enjoy eating meat, I certainly don’t think that bacon is a big deal and I wouldn’t ask a vegetarian what they miss about eating meat.
Kind of funny that this person was preaching to you, though! Maybe they wanted a comrade in arms/eating?!
Ha ha ha! Ahh, the bacon obsession. So odd! And it is funny that people want to preach about food so much. I have heard EVERYTHING, including that I should fast a few days a work because they did a study on worms and it made the worms live longer when they did. Okay then…
And of course you are sensible and would not ask that! 🙂
I think they just wanted someone to talk at! LOL
But, really, how do you live without cheese 🙂
I’ve tried SO MANY things in terms of eating, whether for health, weight loss or just because I’m curious, that I would never feel comfortable being preachy about it. Actually, I don’t think I could be overzealous about any topic … except maybe people who rely on epic planks to measure core strength. But that’s mostly because I think they are preachy about it, and I get annoyed.
There. That’s it. I rarely preach because I have a low annoyance threshold and would probably bother myself. Live your life and I’ll live mine. And, hopefully, we can do it together happily … with dessert. Because, seriously, dessert > cheese.
Ha ha ha! Preachy plank people! This is new to me!!! 🙂
I think people do try a lot and think that what works for them will for everyone else, but we are all so different, so yes, let’s enjoy dessert together! 🙂
I’ll never understand why people get all preachy about stuff. I see it in real life (like your story) and see it online in blogs. Like its counter intuitive to lambast folks for not doing X or Y when at the root that person is trying to get them to do whatever they are preaching about. These self righteous ding bats need to just keep their comments to themselves and learn effective communication skills.
Yes yes yes 🙂 I DO like hearing when people are passionate about something! But when it’s telling me what to do?! NOPE! I don’t take well to that. EVER. AT ALL. Ha.
I admire how dedicated you are to being vegan but also being so chill about it! And you put up with my stupid questions whenever we try to figure out a place to eat when we meet up. 😉
I’m also glad you feel so great on a vegan diet! I think it would be hard if you didn’t feel good but still wanted to be vegan for the principle of it.
I feel good when I eat cake, therefore everyone should eat cake! Duh.
(And this is me using my 5 seconds of not being busy at work today to comment on your blog instead of emailing you back. hahaha)
Aww, thank you! :-* And I appreciate you caring about it when we do find a place to eat, and understanding it (some people tease me about being picky… and not in a nice way).
That would be hard! I actually know people who’ve stopped eating vegan because they just felt like such crap when they did.
YES! MOAR CAKE PLZ.
Aww, I appreciate it! 🙂
Ha, I totally think there’s something to cheese being addictive, because I admit to feeling highly defensive when someone suggests I can or should try living without it. Which you obviously are not doing!
Ha ha ha! THE BABY NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDS IT!!!! 🙂
Like Anne, you’re my first Vegan friend and hanging out with you and Steven has been good for Troy and I. Heck, he’s even eating vegan jerky now and liking it. I may have to try and cook you guys a vegan meal sometime. I’ve never felt you are preachy about this. In fact, totally the opposite. You are so chill that sometimes I forget we need to choose a place that works for everyone.
On another note, I have a totally preachy friend. She’s a salesperson and it seems that she is always trying to SELL. Whether its her love of Crossfit and and how Troy and I HAVE to do it. Or how Montessori schools are totally the way to go and we HAVE to put Declan in one, blah, blah, blah. I kind of stopped hanging out with her because it’s exhausting. I’m way fine with you being into your thing, but maybe just stop and find out why I’m into mine! We can take our differences and learn from each other and grow. We don’t have to convert each other! Sheesh!
I am happy you feel it’s been good for you guys! 🙂
Oh man, selling is INGRAINED in your friend, huh?! I feel the same way as you – let’s all share our ways and discuss them – not push them on each other. Blah. I would feel exhausted around that, too.
I’ve been thinking of writing a post just like this. I’m a vegetarian but my fiance is not. Do I try to talk him into being a vegetarian? No. Why? Because how I eat has NOTHING TO DO with how someone else eats. It’s a very personal choice and what works for me won’t always work for someone else. I get really annoyed when people try to force their opinions and beliefs on other people, especially when they know very little about the person and why they do things a certain way.
It’s interesting you mention that, because when I started dating my husband, I was vegetarian and he ate meat. And it didn’t bug me (now he is vegetarian, but that was his choice), just as it doesn’t bother you.
It IS annoying when people do it. I am not sure I will ever understand that personality type.
Wait, was this person trying to bait you into saying you ate cheese or some kind of substitute just to be superior about it? That’s weird, but then again, I’m usually not surprised by how lame people can be…
I didn’t “know” you could eat pizza without cheese until you and Steve made it for me! And yeah, as someone who is kind of “just okay” about cheese, that was a cool discovery!
No! They really weren’t! They just knew I was vegan and wanted to preach at me… they are an odd person anyway :-/
I am happy you liked the cheese-less pizza 🙂