A bad place for a bad fit
In April I decided I wanted to get some blood work done. I had never had it done before, and thought it would be a good idea for several reasons: to get a health baseline, because I follow a specialized diet and wanted to see how that was affecting me, and most importantly, because I had been recently been feeling very fatigued in the sun and sweating out a lot more salt than normal.
Per my health insurance, I had to get a physical in order to do this. When I called to make the appointment, I found out my regular doctor no longer practiced at the office I go to. I decided to try a new doctor in that office, because I had liked the first one so much, and because the office location is so convenient for me.
This ended up not working out very well. The new doctor and I did not mesh. At all.
He teased me about my paperwork. “It says here you are divorced and remarried!” Um… what? Why would you joke about that?
He teased me about my vegan diet, and asked ignorant questions that a doctor should know the answer to. “So, you eat fish, right?” Really, dude?!
He told me I needed to lose weight – which is fine – I did. I told him I was aware of that, and that I work out a lot (running 30+ miles a week, teaching strength classes, etc.), but struggle with binge eating. He recommended walking after dinner. “Oh,” I asked, “because that would be a good distraction from sitting on the couch eating snacks?” “No,” he responded,” because Europeans do that and they’re thin. You need to exercise more.” Um… did you listen to me AT ALL?!
Sigh. I was so frustrated. I’m not a super serious person, but apparently, I don’t want a sarcastic doctor (who is not a very good listener).
It’s not like me to put up with “service” like this and not say something. But I was really there for a means to an end – to get my blood results and to ask about the salt issue (which, by the way, I had to ask him as he was trying to leave the room – he never asked if I had any questions – and which he blew off). So I didn’t say anything. I just knew I would be looking for a different doctor, or maybe clinic, the next time I need that sort of assistance.
Why share this now? Eh, I’ve been thinking about this since April. It’s not my intention to share this to complain, but to say that while it put a bad taste in my mouth for that particular doctor, it didn’t for the healthcare system. I know quite a few people who are anti-doctor and I don’t want to be like that… I am just anti-bad fit (and that doctor could be just the right fit for someone else!). Finding the right fit is hard (gah, especially with therapists!), but, it’s worth it. So my pep talk is… don’t give up!
Oh! And the blood work looked good! I was just low on vitamin B12, which is very common for vegans, and treatable with a vitamin supplement.
Themocracy
Sorry to hear about your doctor visit not going well. Just curious, did you check out his yelp reviews? I wonder if other people had similar experiences. Anyway, glad to hear your blood work went well! Woo hoo!
You know what, I did not! I didn’t even think of that. I have never used Yelp before and didn’t realize doctors would be on there. That is a great tip, thank you! 🙂
This makes me so sad. I was talking with one of my Chase teammates this weekend, and he works for an insurance company. During a meeting, they presented the word “Health” and asked people to give a word or phrase when they see it. Next, they flashed “Care” and asked the same. Answers to both were positive. Finally, “Health care” appeared on the screen. The responses were less than kind. As he worked in the field, he wants to change how we view such things. But, doctors like this do not help.
I didn’t face anything to this degree but I always thought my OB was a bad fit. I stuck with him, though, because … well … I don’t know. When I was post-birth, he forgot that I had a C-section and rarely listened. I have a new practice this go and they just sit there while I give pause and think if I have questions. It’s crazy and awesome!
I hope you find a better provider!
Wow, that is a really interesting exercise. And I guess it does not surprise me 🙁 Quite a few of the people I talk to have bad healthcare experience. That is great that your friend is passionate about changing that perception!
WHAT! He forgot about your c-section? Ha ha, I mean, he can’t remember every patient, but surely, it’s on your charts?! I am happy your new provider is awesome-o! I bet I will find a better one, too! 🙂
Ugh that’s rough. I used to hate my doctor when I was young because it felt like she never really listened to me. And that is something I still deal with now. Even when I was dealing with terrible allergies and congestion this year, I started to feel like maybe I was crazy, like maybe that was the best I was every going to feel. Which was really really frustrating for me. But yes, don’t give up hope. Doctor shopping is hard, but finding the right one is worth it.
Oh no! I am sorry you are still dealing with it. Did they ever help you with your allergies? Are you still on the search for the right fit?
After three visits, I finally got a referral to an allergist. And I really like my allergist, she seemed to listen better. I have another appointment next week! I am finally feeling more like normal so that is good!
Wow, it sounds like he was saying some crazy things during the appointment. The thing is that I don’t think doctors who fail to listen to patients can be a good fit for anyone 🙁 I hope you find someone better. I love all my doctors currently!
Funny you say that – the original title of my post was “the worst place for a bad listener,” but I was like, come on Kim, you were probably just annoyed by how sarcastic he was. But these comments ARE making me think he might not be a good fit for anyone!
Ugh. I have been there, too. I once had a doctor ask me how long the marathon I was training for was. I mean, I get that not all doctors are runners and know everything about marathons, but I guess I think they should know they are all a set distance? Weird. That same doctor also gave me a physical without a pap, which was my entire reason for getting a physical in the first place. I never went back. I do love the current doc I have.
Oh geesh. I don’t know… I would kind of expect them to have SOME idea of the distance. Of course, it doesn’t help that there are races that call themselves mini marathons and so forth (I once saw a 5K called that!). Luckily he gave you these hints right away so you could find a new doc. LOL!
What an a**hole. I’m soooo mad for you right now. For a career that involves interacting with people there are a lot of doctors that don’t listen and assume they know everything. Did he even offer to refer you to a dietician or someone to help with the binge eating or vitamin deficiency? Sorry for being ranty I just know how someone like this can leave you feeling like crap! We can be weirdly illuminous pee buddies (cause of the Vit B) <—yes I am this weird in real life
BTW coming from a European…we are not thin in general, we are following right in the US's footsteps and getting bigger by the day and the only reason we aren't right along side the US is because we don't have fast food restaurants every few feet and food processing isn't quite as bad….not because we "walk after dinner'.
He didn’t even offer that. He definitely wasn’t listening to that part. It’s like… I have the problem identified, and nada. Of course, that isn’t why I was there, but yeah, he should have offered ideas. HA! We can be pee buddies! “WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY PEE?!! Oh yeah. Took my pill today.” 😉
Ha ha ha! Oh man, I wish I would have had a response like that to the “walk after dinner” comment. Not that the obesity problem is funny, just that the reason for his suggestion was so ridiculous.
Ugh, I feel you on this one. Fortunately my doctor doesn’t have quite that bad of bedside manner, but I never feel like she listens to me and I don’t trust her within an inch of my life, which, you know, is maybe not the best way to feel about one’s doctor. Haha. She had great reviews, so I expected to be blown away, but I’m not a fan at all and am definitely on the hunt of a new doctor.
Oh man! I am sorry to hear that! I hope you find a good one soon 🙂 You like your PT, right? 🙂
THIS is why I hate going to the doctor. My current one is fine and has helped me a lot in the past but I just never feel like doctors in general are really present and connecting the dots. And the one you saw sounds worse than any I’ve ever encountered! I feel bad for people who are continuing to see him.
I am happy your current one is decent! I like the guy I used to see there. He seemed efficient, but was a good listener. I understand they are rushed, but I don’t get not listening AT ALL 😉
Wow, talk about bad bedside manner! Geez! I can’t believe doctors like that stay in business. A doctor in our town just got fired for inappropriate behavior like that.
Wow! Fired? Maybe this is more serious than I thought!
Some doctors just have Gigantic egos and it’s hard to listen to someone or care about their concerns when you feel you are above them. I’ve had good and bad doctors and have luckily had the freedom to change when I feel the desire (through my insurance). Since you’re still thinking about this six months later, you may want to call their office and voice your concerns or write a review on a site like Yelp to either help that doctor improve (doubt he’d care) or to prevent others from feeling your frustrations. I am in need of a primary care physician and would love an honest review before I choose one. I prefer to go to a doctor that I’ve gotten a referral from a friend or trusted co-worker. I hope you find someone you like better.
Yeah, it sounds like I definitely need to say something about this so other people don’t have the same issues… I just thought it was kind of me, being annoyed that he was being sarcastic!
I don’t think NEARLY enough emphasis is put on nutrition or exercise science in med school.
Apparently not!
Boy, Kim, that guy sounds awful. I don’t like teasing to begin with, and I’m sure I wouldn’t like it from a doctor. And for someone to tell YOU that you need to exercise more?!?! That’s so insulting. Even though he obviously said it because he wasn’t listening to you, if anyone is a model for commitment to being physically active, you are.
I guess on the positive side, if you only saw him once, there’s no awkwardness about just saying “Next!” and moving on to someone good. They are out there. My doctor is very good, and I think I got her because she was young and just starting out in her practice.
Aww, thank you for the nice compliment 🙂
Yeah, I plan on never seeing him again. He wanted me to come in at the end of summer to show him I’d lost weight, but I canceled the appointment 😉
Ugh, that sucks. I found a doctor that I really liked … and she moved to Colorado. So now I’m trying to find a new doc and I keep putting it off. I’ve been trying to consult Yelp but not really finding anyone who stands out.
Oh man! What a bummer she moved. I hope someone good pops up soon!
Jeez, what a bonehead! I feel bad you had to go through that and I hope you found someone better in the meantime. Having a doctor you can trust and talk to is so important.
Jeeze. That is just awful! So sorry you had a bad experience. 🙁 did you write a letter to the practice saying how uncomfortable you felt? I’m happy your vitamin levels were fine though 🙂 my b12 was low too and now I have cookie dough flavored chews for that. I had avoided going to the doctor due to my past bad experiences but then I finally went (after searching yelp reviews for a while) and was very happy with the doctor I chose- she had a background in sports (the whole practice of doctors did) and she spent an hour with me asking questions and answering all of mine. I left feeling so empowered minus a comment about my BMI which i questioned because I don’t believe in BMI for a variety of reasons… Eh
I didn’t write a letter. I thought I was just feeling annoyed because I didn’t want to be teased by a doctor. But writing this made me realize that most people agree. Ha ha.
Sounds like I need to check out yelp for doctors! I am surprised BMI is still promoted as a useful tool. Even my personal trainer manual pointed out the flaws in it 😉
Ugh reading this makes me really upset and ragey. It’s doctors like these who ultimately make people distrust the healthcare system, which is not the right mentality to have. I’ve come across a few doctors who are way too bitter for their own good (and the good of others) and it makes me wonder what leads them to become so seemingly unhappy that they project it outwards onto their patients. Anyway, best of luck with your future doctor(s)…hope you found a great one already!
Oh, man, I’m sorry about this experience with this doctor! He doesn’t sound like a great fit for anyone, really. Someone who doesn’t listen and TEASES you?! I mean, I like a good sarcastic comment as much as the next person, but not from a doctor and not from someone I just met. He doesn’t know you well enough to know if teasing is okay! That’s really unprofessional, IMO. How annoying!
I’m glad the bloodwork turned out okay, but geez, that does sound like a really bad-fit situation (or just a doctor with a poor “bedside manner”). Also….”Europeans do it.” is, like, the weirdest medical justification for something I’ve ever heard. I just…lol, wut.