People come and go
Wow. I was reminiscing about the day I got in to the New York City Marathon lottery in 2011. Tangent – in 2011, the lottery drawing was in April. This year, it’s in March. It’s today! I am anxiously awaiting to see if my bestie got in.
Anyway, the “wow” is because I was reading the comments on that post, and geesh, I think I am not in touch with at least half of those people anymore! I don’t read their blogs, or their blog doesn’t exist or whatever the case is. Some of them I barely remember, and some I remember very well.
Do you ever look back at old blog post comments and take note of who you are still in touch with, now?
Hee hee. I was reading the names and thinking, man, if only it was that easy, in real life, for relationships to come and go. You know? It’s natural, for you to read blogs and make connections when they work for both parties at that time in their lives. Sometimes it’s a connection for life, sometimes it’s not. Both are okay. You know, the whole “people come and go like seasons” saying. Or whatever the saying is.
But there’s just something about feeling that way, about someone in real life, that feels icky. Probably because it’s so much easier in social media land – just step back with your interaction and fade out. It feels like real life deserves more than that. But how often does it get more than that? Hmm. Such “deep” thoughts over nothing. Ha ha.
Themocracy
Funny you post on this subject…something I’ve been battling with lately, but with real life relationships-and if it’s time to walk away. It’s hard when you’ve been friends with someone for so many years, but then you have to evaluate-are you really friends-or forcing yourselves to hang on to something that isn’t there anymore….things that make you go hmmmmm….
That is exactly it – you have had so many good times for so many years it feels bad to end it! Are you going to say something or let it fade out?
It’s been fading off the last couple years, and I will more than likely just stop putting any effort into it (long distance) since the effort isn’t reciprocated. It will fade off on it’s own sadly…
Haha, Luca just said, “Oh, my medal! There it is” when I showed him the throwback pic! I love that picture.
It is so so hard to disengage from an IRL friendship. It’s like a break up without the break up conversation. In social media, you can click the little “x” button when things don’t seem to click and it’s no hard feelings.
Rejection is tough to swallow. Whether it be the NYCM (cough, cough) or the realization that a friendship doesn’t click like it once did. But, I guess that’s all a part of life? People come and go and add to our life narratives.
Hee hee hee. Luca! It’s in my closet! Come see it!
Exactly. It is like a break-up! I have actually read a few articles in the past comparing it to that! And it had tips on how to handle it like it was, but I just can’t imagine anyone actually doing that!
Aww. 🙁 At least NYRR sent a rejection email? 😉
I wonder what the average life-span of a blog is anyway? I assume lots of people start blogs to chronicle some sort of “life journey” like running a marathon and then when the race is over they lose the umpf to keep the blog going.
Maybe if they started it for that reason they are more likely to stop it? I wonder if there has been any research on that! I think it has to do with personality too, and whether you enjoy writing 🙂
I was thinking this the other day – a lot of blogs I used to follow are long gone
Oh wow, Gina is going for a full this year too?! Awesome!
The people who comment on my blog has definitely changed a lot since I started writing. Since my blog evolved from a shared fashion blog, most of my original readers just followed me over. And as I stopped doing style posts, they stopped following along. It’s not a bad thing, just what happens when you change formats I suppose. Now most of the people who read are people I’ve met through CRB events, though I do still have a few non-CRB blogging friends (two of whom I’m finally going to meet this summer!).
I think something similar can happen in real life though. You connect with someone over some shared interest or life situation, then maybe that changes and your relationship has run its course. I have a lot of people like that – we were good friends when we worked together or used to go out partying back when no one was married or had kids, and then we all kind of outgrew each other. I think the friendships that you keep despite stuff like that are the ones to take notice of, since they outlast whatever vacuum they were created in.
Yeah! She’ll look in to other options now (since she did not get in) or run a few more halves.
It’s so true 😉 that the friendship outlasting the interest is a sign of a true friendship. I never thought about that in relation to my blog since it does not have a focus, but that is a really good point! I have been thinking about how some irl friends are just there for certain things – like we run together, and that is mostly it. It’s funny – you talk SO MUCH when you run, and that’s the only time you see each other!
That is cool you get to meet some new blog friends this summer!
I’d say I could get her a charity spot in the Chicago Marathon, but I think UALC’s are just about filled up (which is awesome for them). Good thing there’s so many marathons out there 🙂
Wait, you can’t mean us for just running together, right? We Red Robin and El Famous together too! I’d be happy to hang out and not run (especially this week lol). But I know what you mean.
That is so fabulous that their spots are almost full! I asked if she wanted to do an NYC charity, and she didn’t want to worry about raising money (which I totally get!).
Ha ha! I was thinking of people in my running club! You and I do lots together! Run, and eat… and cook and… um… lol! 🙂
People grow up and change, and they don’t always move in the same directions. It’s hard and it sucks, but then you put yourself out there and new and better people come to take their base. It’s cyclical, I guess.
It’s definitely easier to drift away from an on-line relationship than one in real life. I will say that I have about 10 lovely on-line friends who have loyally stuck with my blog through the past two years of struggling (and consequently not posting very often), and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that!
I have found that many people come into your life for one reason or another whether it is online or in real life.
I definitely see a drift both in people who come to my blog and those that I go to. Different times, different tastes, I think. Some bloggers I love have moved on or post infrequently now, but it is fun to “see” them when I do!
Yes, I do look back from time to time to see who still has a blog. I don’t have too many regular commenters anymore (I need to build a new list of readers or find a way to bring back my old group, most of whom don’t blog anymore)
Do you still keep in touch with the people who stopped blogging?
Yes, there are a few that I do like Karl Erikson and Wayne Hall (they are both on Facebook).
It’s definitely easier to drift away from a blog since you never have to explain why! Just click “unfollow” and you’re done. So much harder to do in person. I don’t think anyone ever wants to actually say that they’re done with someone, especially if they other person didn’t do anything bad or wrong.
I just looked back at a bunch of my first blog posts to see who commented and who I still follow and talk to! I “met” you in my first year of blogging, and we still read each other…one day we’ll actually meet, ha. But it has been interesting to see who comes and goes, who quit blogging, who seemed to be commenting just to get readers (I said it…), etc. I’m glad that Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram allow me to keep up with people who stopped blogging!
We will! 🙂 Ha, and I am happy you said that. I still see a lot of the commenting just to get readers and it’s so transparent!
I read this so long ago and was going to comment and forgot! I find it very interesting to see. It seems like a lot of people in my life are fade in and out relationships and I think a lot of it is just because I have been in school so long and a lot of my friendships have classmates and once school is over, we all moved. Not that having everyone fade in and out is fun and easy but it happens.
As for blogging friendships I have definitely noticed it. I feel like a lot of people who were commenting on my blog years ago don’t blog anymore (granted I am rarely around right now) but it definitely seems like bloggers especially fade in and out. Now its mainly the CRBs who I have met in person who continue to comment and lately those are the only ones I keep (somewhat) caught up on even though I’m not commenting as much.